Sept. 26, 2012, 10:29 a.m.
Golden Slumbers: Chapter 2
T - Words: 3,702 - Last Updated: Sep 26, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: May 31, 2012 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 1,053 0 4 0 0
The first day of McKinley High School had been one of the scariest experiences in Kurt's life. It wasn't just the big jocks and dumpster tosses that were terrifying Kurt, no, he was more afraid that he was alone in his fight against those who bullied him.
"You didn't wait for me this morning?" he said to Blaine in confusion, as the other boy put his books his the newly allocated locker, it was the first time Kurt had seen him for a couple of days, which was in it's self unusual.
"Yeah, sorry," muttered Blaine turning around to face him. Kurt's mouth dropped. Blaine's hair was almost...neat. At very least it wasn't the shaggy mess of curls it normally was, it had been trimmed and smelt distinctly of hairspray.
"Your hair's gone," he gaped and Blaine looked at him irritably.
"Well done, it's called a hair cut," he retorted, stalking off down the hall. Kurt stood there utterly baffled. Well, that came out of no where, he thought, watching Blaine go down the corridor with, what he assumed the other boy thought was 'swagger', although Kurt thought it looked more like a cat walk strut.
He sighed, deciding to allow Blaine some time to calm down from whatever the hell had gotten him so worked up, and picked up his bag before heading off towards English.
Kurt and Blaine were still in each others classes for the majority of their classes and so Kurt thought that he could find out what on earth the other boy's pissy fit had been about in their next lesson. He got to class, and realized that he was the last person to arrive and he stood at the front for a minute, brow furrowed in confusion as he looked for Blaine.
Then he saw him. Blaine was lounging at the back of the class, next to...Kurt did a double take. Sam Danes? What the hell was Blaine doing sat with their old Middle School bully?
Realizing that he had been stood at the front of the room for at least two minutes, Kurt took his own seat at the only desk that didn't have anyone on, right at the front. He just couldn't understand. Yes, he knew that some people grew apart as time went on and that they got new friends, but Blaine and him had talked about this not so long ago, saying that they wouldn't be those friends who got drawn apart in the school change. Had Blaine changed his mind? Kurt decided that he'd talk to him at lunch and that now all he needed was to make a good impression on his teachers, so at least someone would like him.
Blaine looked down the classroom, ruffling up his remarkably shorter hair. It felt weird like this, he much preferred the comfort of his big shaggy curls, but if this was what it would take not to be bullied then it was worth it. He watched Kurt's hand as it shot up into the air every few seconds to answer one of their teacher's questions. Blaine turned away from him. He'd made up his mind. He was going to try out for the football team, stop trying so hard at lessons and dress more like the other boys.
Admittedly he hated it, he hated not being himself, but he couldn't stand another four years of being abused and bullied, and maybe, once he was at the top of the pile he could stop people from picking on Kurt as well. He knew that Kurt would never do what he was doing, he was way to stubborn for that, but if Blaine was top of the food chain, then maybe he could ease the pressure on Kurt without the other boy having to change anything about himself. Kurt was perfect as he was.
The bell rang and Blaine picked up his bag, he hadn't even bothered to get anything out of it, and left, avoiding Kurt's eyes. "Blaine!" yelled a voice from behind him, he turned, Kurt's voice hadn't changed since they'd first met 3 years ago, and right now he looked and sounded furious.
"What do you want, Kurt?" Blaine asked, trying not to let on how much it hurt him to have to play along, rather than being how they had always been.
"Why are you being like this?" said Kurt, in askance, the pain evident in his voice, guilt consumed Blaine, but he shoved it back.
"Like what?" he said coolly.
Kurt's face crumpled. "You've changed your hair and clothes, and you're being all mean and sitting with...idiots" he said, glaring at Sam Danes, who was talking to a girl by the water fountain. Blaine sighed.
"I'm fed up Kurt, I don't want to be bottom of the pack any more, okay?"
"Oh, and so being friends with me is going to bring down your 'rep' is it?" Kurt said, angrily. "You know what, get stuffed, Blaine Anderson, get stuffed." and with that Kurt was off, running down the corridor, tears staining his cheeks. Blaine smashed his locker closed and walked over to Sam.
The rest of the day went tortuously slowly for Kurt Hummel, he felt like he had been there for a year rather than a couple of hours. When the bell finally went, he stormed out of the dreaded place he now hated more than anywhere else and began to run home. Tears were streaming thick and fast down his face. He just didn't understand it. They'd been best friends for so long and now what, Blaine just didn't want to talk to him anymore? Couldn't bear to be seen with him? Was Blaine...ashamed of him?
Kurt opened his front door, "Hey Kiddo! How was your first day at McKinley?" Burt called from the kitchen where he was reading the sports section of the paper. His son ignored him and ran into his room, slamming the door behind him. Alarm bells set off in Burt's head, this hadn't happened in three years.
Standing up, Burt put his paper back down on the Kitchen work top and headed towards the basement. He knocked on the door and heard a little "go away" from the other side, ignoring this sentiment, he pushed the door open and climbed down the steps.
"Kurt, are you okay?" he whispered, taking the crying boy into his arms.
"I-it's n-nothin'..." Kurt mumbled, he wasn't sure he was ready to tell anyone what was going on, seeing as he wasn't completely sure what had happened himself. Burt lifted his hands up to his son's face and held it there, wiping away the tears.
"Now I know my son and he doesn't cry about nothing, what's really going on here Kurt?" the boy just sobbed and his father resolved that he would give him a couple of minutes. "I'll go make us a cup of tea, then you can tell me all about it alright?" Kurt nodded and Burt kissed the top of his head before going upstairs.
Kurt watched his father go up stairs and smiled through his tears, at least he'd always have his dad, he thought. He heard the kettle boiling and then a knock on the door, then a mumble of voices. Kurt gave up on trying to work out what they were saying and just buried his head in his pillow.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and the smell of tea and toast flooded into the room, Kurt moaned into his pillow, he hadn't had any lunch, someone had stolen his lunch money before he'd had a chance and the smell entering his room was amazing. A hand ruffled up his hair and a voice said, "You want something to eat?" Kurt looked up in surprise to find Blaine standing in front of him, holding a tray.
"Are you sure you don't want to save it for someone more popular?" said Kurt sarcastically, sitting up and crossing his arms and legs. Blaine frowned and sat, also cross legged on the other side of the bed, placing the tea tray between them.
"Look...Kurt, I'm sorry. But..."
"BUT WHAT BLAINE?" Kurt yelled, anger bubbling up inside him. He didn't need excuses.
"I don't want to spend the next 4 years of my life being tossed into dumpsters and slushied in the face." Kurt could understand that, he didn't want that either, but he would prefer that to pretending to be someone he wasn't.
"So...you would prefer to be popular than be friends with me?" he asked, not sure whether he wanted the answer.
Blaine sat there, unsure of what the answer was himself. "Kurt your my best friend and I-I don't want to lose that...but...I j-just can't be on the outside any more." And then they were both crying. Kurt understood the other boy, he knew how hard it was and maybe if he could save Blaine from that then it would be worth it. He'd never had a chance to be on the inside, but if that's what Blaine wanted, then he would bloody well let him.
Blaine took a bite of toast, ending up with crumbs all around his mouth. Kurt just laughed, putting the tray on his nightstand and reaching over to wipe the crumbs away with his sleeve.
"Well we'll always have after school won't we?" said Kurt, forcing a smile. "and maybe one day you'll be popular enough that it doesn't matter who your friends are." He doubted that, but the other boy's reaction made the lie worth while.
Blaine laughed pulling Kurt into a massive hug, wrestling him so they lay side by side with their heads on Kurt's pillow. "You know, I'll never find a friend like you, Kurt," he whispered, hugging the other boy tighter, he knew this wasn't something that other boys did, but as much as pretended, he wasn't like other boys and neither was Kurt, so he saw no reason to stop.
They lay there, arms and legs tangled together, lips turned up in little smiles, and that's how Burt Hummel found his son and his son's best friend an hour later. Curled up in bed, fast asleep.
Freshman year turned out not to be so bad for Kurt, he still saw Blaine after school and at weekends and they even talked a little at school, but not enough that any of the jocks would pull him up on it. Blaine was on his way up the food-chain, being the new kicker on the football team, and Kurt's trips into the dumpster were getting less and less frequent.
Admittedly Kurt didn't have anyone to talk to through most of the day, he spent lunch in the library, sneaking food behind whatever book he happened to be reading and the rest of the day trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. But it was all worth it for the smile that was ever present on Blaine's face, lighting up his eyes so beautifully. Kurt was sure that no one would ever mean more to him than Blaine did, he would do anything for his best friend.
It had been over a year since the argument between the two best friends and they were proud to say that they'd had nothing so serious since then. Sophomore year had brought untold popularity for Blaine, he was still on the football team and had every girl in the school after him. Kurt didn't know why, but he hated the way that girls fawned over his best friend, although it made him feel better that Blaine seemed to reject every single one.
Blaine was happy too, he had a nice balance between seeing his best friend and not being chucked into dumpsters or doused with slushies. He was also popular enough that he could stop most people from doing that to Kurt as well, although there were some slip ups, but he made sure those people paid for their mistakes.
The only thing he didn't like was the pressure he was under to get a girlfriend. Admittedly it wouldn't be hard to get one, it's more that he really just wasn't attracted to them. His team mates pointed to girls like Santana Lopez, on the Cheerios, and talked about how hot they were, but Blaine didn't see it. None of the girls in the school seemed beautiful to him, although he didn't tell anyone else that, he just went along with it. But there was only one person Blaine Anderson thought was beautiful.
"Kurt?" Blaine said, and the other boy jumped, hitting his head on his open locker as he stood up.
"OW...oh hey Blaine!" his smile at the appearance of his friend faded at the look on his face. "What's wrong?" he asked, slightly worried. The other boy's face quickly composed itself.
"ah, nothing, I'm good..." Kurt pulled a face.
"We've been best friends for four years, you think I don't know when something's wrong?" Kurt said and Blaine looked at him, as if deciding whether to say something or not. "I was just talking to Karofsky..." he trailed off and Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"And..." he said, trying to prompt Blaine into continuing.
Kurt knew this wasn't going to be good, Karofsky really didn't like him and made no secret of it. He spent most of his life shoving Kurt into lockers, and Kurt was sure it would be much worse if Blaine wasn't so high in the food-chain.
"He wasn't being very nice about you, he was calling you...mean words. And Kurt, I don't want to hear people talk about you like that, or even know that they think that. It-it makes me so...angry!" he seemed to try and calm himself down. "I think you should quit Glee."
Kurt looked at him in dumbfounded horror. Only recently he'd been accepted into the New Directions, the McKinley High Glee club and if he was honest, despite the peak in bullying, he had felt happier than he had in a long time. Whilst Blaine was sitting for lunch with his jock friends, Kurt had someone to laugh and talk with. For the first time he felt like he belonged and now Blaine was asking him to quit?
"What...why? There are loads of guys from the football team in Glee now, for god's sakes the damn quarter-back is there!"
"And do you know how they talk about them?" yelled Blaine, they were starting to turn heads now, but neither really noticed. "Maybe you don't care what people say about you, but I do. You're just making it so much harder..." he stopped, acknowledging his mistake. Kurt looked terrifying.
"Making what harder?" he said, with a calm sort of fury.
Blaine breathed in deeply, not completely sure how he was going to phrase this to stop Kurt from being mad, he looked at Kurt's face and resolved that it was a lost cause. More and more people were collecting in the corridor to stare at the two boys, everything was silent, no one even dared whisper, they were all anticipating Blaine's words.
"I try to keep people from saying mean things about you..." Blaine breathed finally, Kurt's expression did not change, and he tried to think of that positively. At least he didn't look more angry. "Like what?" said Kurt, stonily.
Uh oh.
Blaine's eyes widened, he knew he couldn't lie to his best friend, they had always told each other the complete truth. He really didn't want to hurt Kurt's feelings, but he had the odd feeling the other boy already knew what people were saying about him.
"That your gay."
The silence rang loud. Everyone seemed to have frozen. Kurt collected himself, standing a little taller and speaking loudly and clearly.
"So what if I am," he said and stormed off down the corridor.
Blaine stood their in complete shock as talk erupted all around him, he knew he had to find Kurt, find Kurt and talk to him. Tell him he loved him. There was no point denying it any more. He'd tried to tell himself that they were just really good friends, and that's why he cared about the boy so much. That's why his breath hitched every time he spoke. That's why his heart went crazy every time he smiled.
Just because he's gay, doesn't mean he'd fancy you. Said a nasty voice in the back of his head, Blaine growled at it internally, but he knew it was right. Just because he'd come out the closet it didn't mean that he liked Blaine, it just meant he liked boys. It just meant everyone in this school was going to abuse him even more.
The next thing Blaine remembered he was sitting on his bed, playing with his Star Wars covers, he hadn't changed them since he'd moved in, he didn't want to, he still liked Star Wars, and the only person from school who ever came into his room was Kurt. Blaine didn't even remember how he'd got home or what had happened after Kurt had left.
Kurt.
His chest twisted in pain, but the strange blank area of time had given him some realization, and as much as that in it's self hurt, he knew it was right. There was no point flailing after Kurt or telling him how he felt about him, because all that would happen was Kurt would break him, say he was sorry but he didn't feel like that about him. That they were just friends. And Blaine didn't think he could deal with that.
Besides, he'd heard what his other 'friends' thought about being...gay? But was he gay? He'd never been attracted to other boys, or girls for that matter. Only Kurt. So surely he wasn't homosexual or even heterosexual just...Kurt-o-sexual. Any which way he looked at it, it didn't matter, if the other jocks found out he was in love (he gulped at how quickly he was accepting this fact) with Kurt, they would eat him alive.
He thought of Kurt. He'd just announced he was gay in front of a corridor full of people, by tomorrow everyone in school would know and there was only so much pull Blaine had on the student body. Tomorrow Kurt was going to step into hell.
Kurt was sat on his floor, eyes wide open, staring at his Dior gray room. He remembered redecorating it during the summer break, his dad had given him some money to buy paints and whatever else he might need in return for Kurt helping out at the garage. He'd taken a protesting Blaine with him to Ikea, where they'd subsequently gotten lost, and ended up having a soft toy fight in the Kids section. Kurt laughed, remembering how the two of them had painted his room, ending up with paint all over there arms and faces and then their failed attempted to put the flat-pack furniture together.
Now he didn't even know if best friend would ever want to talk to him again. Something about the way he'd been suggesting it had made it seem so wrong, but Kurt couldn't help it that he liked boys. He couldn't help it that he liked one particular boy especially, but that was never going to happen.
Why did he have to yell in front of half the school that he was gay?
Kurt sat there, phone in hand, hoping beyond hope that Blaine might text him, tell him he didn't care who he was attracted to, he could fancy a girl, a boy, a bloody dolphin and he wouldn't mind, because they were best friends and best friends make it through every situation.
Both boys curled themselves up in bed, knees pulled up to their chest and tears trickling down their faces. Both willing themselves to tell the other how they felt, but knowing they wouldn't.
The next morning Kurt got up and dressed in less stylish and expensive clothes than he would normally for school and then packed a spare outfit in his school bag, anticipating the slushies that were sure to come his way, he didn't want to ruin anything he particularly liked.
Spraying one last round of hairspray he stepped out the house, being sure to lock the door after himself, and sifted through the keys on his keyring to find the one for his Navigator. Except he couldn't find it.
Kurt cursed, checking all of his pockets, before deciding that perhaps he'd left it in the house. He was just about to open the door when he heard the unmistakable click of the doors of his car unlocking. He turned around in shock, walking over to the drivers side and opening the door.
"Blaine?" he said, in disbelief, staring at the curly haired boy sitting in the passenger seat and jingling his keys. Kurt got in and took the keys off Blaine before sticking them in the ignition. "What the h – " he started, only to be cut off mid-sentence by his best friend, well at least he hoped they were still best friends.
"We need to talk," Blaine stated, and Kurt's heart dropped. Talk about what? How he couldn't be seen being friendly with him any more? How he thought he was disgusting and didn't want to talk to him ever again? Kurt's head was reeling by the time Blaine continued talking.
"I really couldn't care less if you're gay or not." Kurt's worrying paused and he tried to work out whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Wait...I didn't mean that like...It's just..." he took a deep breath in. "Kurt, you being gay doesn't affect our friendship, you're still my best friend...that is if you want to be! But the point is that I know just because you're gay it doesn't mean that you fancy every guy you see," I know that a little too well, he added in his head. "and...and...I was wrong. You shouldn't quit Glee, if it's something you enjoy, then you should keep doing it, I shouldn't have told you not to do something that makes you happy. You never complained about me being in the football team...apart from how sweaty I got...but anyway, what I'm trying to say is that...I'm sorry."
Kurt was crying. He hated himself for it because it was going to ruin all the effort he put into his moisturizing routine, but above even the worry of his facial condition, he felt over the moon that his best friend accepted him. "Can I hug you?" he asked and Blaine laughed and nodded, squeezing him closer and wishing it could mean the same to Kurt as it did to him.
Comments
Blaine needs to get his act together!!!! Great chapter(;
Thank you(: yes, he needs to learn that popularity isn't everything. oh and ASK THE DAMN BOY OUT ;)
the first part of this chapter was really hard to read. the bit where blaine told kurt that he wanted to be popular (without understanding what blaine's motivations were). i understand the hurt kurt was feeling; it sucks and it's heartbreaking. my own friend told me that she "wanted to be popular when we go to jr high". she concluded by saying that by being my friend, she wasn't going to gain that population. so you had me crying a bit. but the end of the chapter left me smiling brightly through my tears–kurt and blaine are still friends! now we just gotta get then to talk about how they feel about each other :)
awh, I hope you're okay :( I've had a lot of this kind of thing happen to me, so I'm writing from experience. And yes, our boys must discuss their lovin' ;)