It all started when Finn ousted Santana about her sexuality, and from that day forward, all hell broke loose. Mike Chang was thrown out of his house. Quinn continues to seek revenge on Shelby for taking her baby. Mercedes and Santana fight constantly for power in the Troubletones. Mr. Shue’s negligence has caused a rift in New Directions. Finn disrespects everyone, including the chairs, constantly kicking them over in frustration. Better yet, Jessie St. James and Sebastian have transferred to the Troubletones to help sabotage New Directions. Brittany thinks she’s a dolphin and Sugar thinks she can sing. Worst of all Kurt, the only one who feels somewhat sane in all of this, has been trying for two years now to get a boyfriend, but so far, has been completely unsuccessful.

What once used to be a safe haven for outcasts and musical geeks has turned into a warzone. The only person that seems to be uninfected by the contagious hate is Sue Sylvester.

Dear Diary,

My eternal hatred for the Glee club has finally paid off. The kids cannot stand one another. They’re on the brink of destruction and its all at my finger tips. What to do, what to do. Do I let Shuester, my sworn nemesis, try and save what little hope remains for the pathetic club or do I let the excessive amounts of lard from his hair drown the kids into an impending doom! Think Sue, Think! The reaping is nearly a month away before any of these dweebs have a shot at the title of ‘Worst Tribute Ever.’ If I were tribute again, I would teach all these kids a valuable lesson: cross Sylvester and there’s only one stop on this express: HORROR.

Sue stood up from her desk to peer out of the window. She had been after the Glee club from day one and for them to be so close to destruction gave her goose bumps all over, but at the same time, she knew she had to be extremely careful and precise if she wanted this club to fall apart. She looked around at all of her past trophies. Lord, if she could have won all these with little or no problem, then why has it been so difficult for her to defeat this stupid Glee club?

Then a knock came at her door, breaking her concentration.

“Gah! What! What do you want?”

In walked Santana. “Hey, coach. Do we still have practice today? Usually you’re out on the field by now and we’ve been there for a half-hour waiting. Or, wait. Was this some kind of ‘Sue Sylvester test’ where you throw us all together and see which one of us can’t stand the loneliness of not having an evil, pale-Grinch streaming insults at us?” Santana smiled; happy with her sass and witty comment she had made-up on the spot.

Sue was about to retaliate when she froze as the words of Santana echoed throughout her head.

throw us all together….throw us all together…throw us all…

“AH-HA!!” Sue bellowed, after having an epiphany. She began frantically scribbling an outline on her sheet of paper while Santana stood there, completely bemused by what she was doing.

“Coach. What are you-”

“I’m going to stop you there, Chiquitita. I want you to follow my exact orders as I tell you them: I want you to tell the Cheerios that practice is cancelled today and tomorrow and that they all failed miserably; can’t have their hopes-up, that doesn’t produce winners. Then I want you to go tell Will Shuester about how ridiculous his new haircut is and how it makes him look even more like a lesbian. Maybe snatch me a cookie from one of those blue elves that reside in his disgusting locks of hair. Finally, I’m going to ask that you never step foot in my office again unless you do us all a favor and personally are in need of laxatives to flood that Mexican belly monster of yours out; seriously, I hear that thing gargle so much I’m convinced you might be an alien. And not that type.”

“UGH!” Santana gawked as she stormed out of Sue’s office. Sue smirked while she grabbed her phone and dialed a number. It was ringing and pretty soon there was a voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Would this be Rod Remington of Capitol News Network?”

“My, my. Sue Sylvester, it’s been-”

“Can it, Rod. I have some very urgent news and I know you have high authority when it comes to the Games. I need you to transfer me to the person in charge of the games and stat.”

Rod chuckled before putting Sue on hold. Sue tapped her pen impatiently, waiting for the elevator-like music to cease and a voice on the other end to appear. Time ticked by. First one minute, then two, then five, then ten. Sue was growing restless and was about to hang-up and call someone else when she heard a very low-Indian voice answer on the other end. Rod had transferred her to the president of the country itself, President Figgins.

“Hel-oo?” answered Figgins.

“Yes, hello, President Figgins. This is Sue Sylvester from the Transportation District, victor of the 81st Games?”

“Ah, yes, Sue. How are you doing? What can I help you with?”

“I’m outstanding, Figgins. Now I know the games have been intact for a while, but I had an ingenious idea for the games and if you let me, I would love to show you the idea I had and would also be personally able and willing to provide the first round of tributes for the games if we did it this new way.”

“Sue, you know I can’t just-”

“AL-right, you large for-headed guru, listen to me. Nobody says no to Sue Sylvester so I’ll just go ahead and tell you. I think that instead of having two tributes per district, we should go from district to district each year. One year it will be twenty-four tributes from district one and the next twenty-four the next year from district-two. It will make the games extremely gruesome; pitting mostly friends and long-time enemies together. The crowds will go wild with the amount of storylines running though them. Now I know we all aren’t like Sue Sylvester so I’ve decided to make it personal and sacrifice myself to be among the first twenty-four. I would also nominate district six as the ones who go first and finally, I am the leader of the district six school where all of the tributes would be going so I can have the reaping held there at anytime. What do you say, Gandhi?”

The line was completely silent for a moment. Sue could hear herself breathing on the other end while she waited for a response. Her heart beat rapidly while she waited for a response. Then:

“We will get back to you within the next few days.” Figgins said, as the line went dead. Sue jumped for joy while the thought of roasting Shuester’s head on a stick danced around in her mind. She reclined in her seat and gave herself a pat on the back.

Sue came into school early-Friday morning. Since she had spoken to President Figgins late-Tuesday evening, she was completely and utterly jubilant. She frolicked about McKinley for the first time since the Glee club came into existence. She was relatively nice when people messed-up at practice and only made one off-handed Shuester/Hair comment a day! Shuester and the rest of Glee club were surprised by Sue’s odd behavior and started to believe she had finally given in to them sticking around. Oh, how things were completely opposite.

Sue unlocked her office door and the many ancient Chinese locks she had installed along her filing cabinets and desk draws to keep anyone from rummaging through her personal space. She heated up the coffee pot and turned on the latest taping of the Capitol News Network, seeing the various stories that had taken place throughout the night. She added a packet of sugar and a douse of cream before stirring her coffee and listening to Rod do his thing on the television. She was about to go to the bathroom when she heard Rod:

“And for the first time since the creation of the games, the Capitol along with the President have decided to change the rules for a more entertaining spectatorship.”

Could this really be happening? Sue thought. Were they doing what she thought they were?

“We have collectively decided that the games have become too predictable and boring that over the years we have lost viewership, which shouldn’t happen,” Figgins said. “In order for more people to watch, some initial changes must be made and we feel like the new rules will help with that.”

Oh. My. Gosh. Are they…

“All of this, thanks to a Ms. Sue Sylvester,” said Rod on the T.V. “For now, I’m Rod Remington. Play fair, Panem.” The screen went dark, but Sue was delighted.

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Sue scrambled to her computer. After what felt like ages of loading, she checked her inbox. Three new messages.

One from Shuester about being so nice. Ha, sap. One from that Red-headed mess-up, Pillsbury, asking if she could refrain from dunking kids in the toilet. She wishes. And One, from the President himself, President Figgins. Sue quickly clicked on the link as the message opened. In only a few lines, Sue became animated with joy. It read:

Dear Ms. Sylvester,

Thank-you for taking the time to make the games for Panem better for everyone. After careful deliberations, my team and I have come to the conclusion that your proposal is better for all the people of Panem. As per your request, we will leave the reaping up to you as we start with district six. Thank-you for your love of these games.

Signed, President Figgins.

Sue was happy. This was going to be the best Friday she’s had in quite a while.

All day, Sue was on her absolute best behavior and people noticed. She smiled all day long, never cursing or dunking innocent students’ heads into toilet bowls; never aiding the football players in the humiliation-by-slushy of the Glee club members. She was actually on the way to her office to make an announcement when she saw intercepted two players and took the slushy out of one the player’s hands that was intended for Kurt. Kurt looked wide-eyed as the grape monster of destruction loomed over his head while two big players cornered him.

“Yeah. And now that we’ve got you corner, it’s time that we teach you a lesson again about wearing girl clothes in front of us!”

Just as the big player was about to drain the contents of the large cup over Kurt’s perfectly coifed hair, the cup was grabbed. Kurt looked-up, expecting to be covered and shivering by now. Instead, she saw Sue Sylvester holding the cup as the players looked confusingly at her.

“Ms. Sylvester? We were just-”

“I know what you two peanut-brained doofs were about to do; you were about to terrorize innocent Porcelain over here about what he wore and quite frankly I will not stand for it anymore!”

All three of the boys looked in bewilderment at Sue. The football players that Sue wasn’t taking their side; Kurt that Sue was actually taking HIS side!

“Weren’t you the one that told us to do this in the first place?” one of the players asked, still dazzled.

“How dare you! I will not be falsely accused just because I am a woman. Why don’t you to blokes take a hike before I throw each of you into my infirmary!”

The football players left, still completely confused as to what happened to Sue. One day she was completely supportive of their efforts of mocking the Glee club kids and the next she was threatening to send them to the school prison?

Even more confused though was Kurt.

“Th-thanks, Ms. Sylvester, but you didn’t have to do that. I’m used to it by now.” Kurt said.

“Nonsense, Porcelain. No one deserves that type of treatment, no matter how girly they dress, I mean look at you? You’re like a cross between Patty Lupone and Cher circa 1975.”

Kurt perked-up. At least her insult had compared him to his favorite actress.

“Anyway, why don’t you just go to the auditorium.”

“Why the Auditorium, Ms. Sylvester?”

“Oh! That’s right! Just skedaddle, Porcelain! I have an announcement to make.” Sue left Kurt standing there, confused as to what had just happened. Kurt picked up his books the two players had knocked on the ground. He straightened his jacket just as Mercedes walked down the stairs.

“Hey, are you okay, boy? Did somebody do somethin’ to ya?”

“No. No I’m fine I uh…well, these two were about to when guess who stepped in?”

“Shuester?”

“Sylvester!”

Mercedes gasped. “Sue?! Why would she help you, no offense! Doesn’t she hate us?”

“I thought so but apparently not. She was actually kind of nice about the whole thing to me; she kind of complimented me before leaving to go make an ann-”

Then the speakers all across the school rang with Sue Sylvester’s voice.
“Will all persons associated with the butt-chinned, alcoholic, teen-vomit, drop out, Will Shuester, please report to the auditorium for a special announcement. Thank-you.” The loud speaker clicked off as Mercedes and Kurt looked at each other, wondering what Sue had up her sleeve this time. They made their way across the school to the auditorium. Inside, most of the Glee club members sat, also questioning why they had been called out of class for this special announcement. Heads turned towards each other, wondering if anyone had heard of the reason but everyone remained clueless. Sue walked in with her Microphone along with her assistant, Becky, and soon, came Will Shuester himself.

“Alright, alright! Quiet-down delinquents!” Sue boomed through her megaphone from the auditorium stage. All eyes focused on Sue as the auditorium fell completely and utterly silent.

“That’s better. Now I’m sure you all know that this year’s games don’t begin for another three weeks and that the reaping is coming up, right?”

The kids worriedly nodded their heads in understanding. They knew what was coming-up and they all feared the reaping. Especially those like Sam whose name would appear in the bowl upwards of fifty times due to family issues.

“Well I am glad to announce that I, Sue Sylvester, single handedly changed the rules of the game. After consulting with President Figgins himself last Tuesday, he has emailed me back saying my plans are a go.”

“Sue, get to the point! Why did you call us all in here to tell us that? To mock us that you talked to Figgins himself?” Shuester demanded.

“William, I advise you to stop there if you don’t want your head to appear on my mantle case before the games have even started. No, I did not call you in here to tell you I talked to that big-headed-Buddha. I called you in here to tell you all the news: you’re all going into the games!”

“WHAT!?!” said the club, simultaneously and paranoid.

“Yes! Well all of you, plus a few faculty and old friends of mine. I pitched the idea to Figgins himself, saying how boring the games have been. I said we should go district-by-district, each year; that makes the games a lot more personal and fun to watch! Then I volunteered to put myself back into the games and also volunteered District Six to go first! As a reward, Figgins said I am the leader of the reaping. Which means no matter how much you clatter-boxes of hair gel and fancy sweaters cry to me, I’m not going to change my mind!”

The room erupted into a scene of pandemonium and chaos. Santana and Brittany took the stage to protect Sue while Mr. Shue and Emma went-up on stage, viciously yelling at Sue for her unfair and completely uncalled for conduct. Puck started throwing punches with Finn over who would get Quinn, who they both thought of as their ideal partner, and who would be stuck with Rachel. Tina was crying into Mike Chang’s shoulder who held her tightly as he took all of this news in. Artie sat there, completely silent while Sugar started jumping up and down with Rory (Rory was a foreign exchange student and the games aren’t televised internationally; he therefore hadn’t a clue as to what the games really meant while Sugar was jumping with delight because…well, she’s Sugar). Sam was kind of accepting of the news, considering his odds of going into the games for district six before the rule change were so high, he seemed to already have gone past the anger, frustration, but most of all, sacredness stage and just go with it.

Finally, that left the disheveled state of Mercedes and Kurt. Mercedes was still completely silent. She had made it her goal to exclude any and all talk of the games. She felt they were a cruel and unfair punishment for a past mistake. Now that she was going into the games, without a chance of being saved, she was at a loss for all words. She just was still. Then there was Kurt. He was by far the most emotional of any in the room. For a second, for a split second, he had trusted Sue. He trusted that maybe this woman that everyone in his friend group hated, that maybe this woman who had a nasty, stingy personality and vile sense of humor; that maybe she showed some signs of change and decency in her heart. How wrong he was. He started to cry, long streams of tears emanating from his eyes as he grasped the severity of the issue.

Everyone in his group has or has had, at some point, their first boyfriend/girlfriend. Their first kiss. The long nights of texting and wondering who would fall asleep first. Those split seconds in time where being with that person feels like they could stop time. The moments. Kurt hadn’t even had one of those moments. How much he just wanted a moment like that.

His hopes had gone crashing through the floor the minute Sue made her announcement and with that, Kurt couldn’t handle another second. He felt stuffed and hot in this auditorium and proceeded to exit as quickly as possible while he left the rest of his friends to argue. He needed to get away from it all. He just wanted to go home and go to bed. Maybe drink a Diet Coke too.