May 27, 2012, 6:56 a.m.
Always a pleasure: Sexy
T - Words: 5,077 - Last Updated: May 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 47/? - Created: Dec 20, 2011 - Updated: May 27, 2012 1,138 0 0 0 0
Jeff grumbled as Blaine sat down next to him. "Did you call the emergency meeting again?" he asked, looking as if he'd rather still be in his bed. Blaine felt the same way – the council didn't seem to be entirely aware of the fact that most members didn't want to attend Warbler meetings at 6:30 in the morning. How did they even get away with that?
"Nope, wasn't me this time," Blaine replied, yawning.
Nick sat down at Jeff's other side. "'m so tired," he muttered almost incomprehensibly.
Jeff and Nick continued their angry conversation (if it could be called that when both boys didn't even register more than half of the words the other said) and Blaine glanced at the council table. He wasn't surprised to see that the three council members looked happy, chipper, and, most importantly, wide awake.
Blaine yearned for coffee, but alas, there had been no time for his caffeine fix so far this morning.
Wes slammed his gavel down at the table, causing all the Warblers to actually jump in their seats – many boys had just fallen back asleep on the comfortable couches. Hm. Blaine wondered why he noticed their comfortableness only now. He prodded the couch with great interest, not hearing what Wes was announcing to the group. Oh well. If they gave him hell about not paying attention, he'd just say he was up late last night, practising their songs for Regionals.
It was only when he heard the word 'sexy' that he looked up from the couch. "What?" he asked tiredly.
"Ah, Blaine, thank you for joining us." Blaine swore Thad was glaring at him from behind the council table, so he recoiled slightly.
"As Wes just said," David repeated quickly, "we got an anonymous note that the judges at Regionals will pay special attention to how sexy the performance are going to be. According to the note, New Directions already has a head start, so we definitely need to work on that. Regionals is in a week, after all."
"So you don't know who sent it?" Blaine asked tiredly. David and Wes both shook their heads.
"No idea," Wes confirmed.
"But what if – what if it's a joke?" Trent asked from… well, wherever he was. Blaine couldn't be bothered to muster up the energy to look around. "What if the judges at Regionals don't want us to be sexy at all, and New Directions sent that note to make sure we won't win?"
The three council members exchanged a few looks and whispers. "We'll figure something out," Wes said. "Now – meeting dismissed!"
Blaine glared at him. Did they really have to get out of bed so early for such a short meeting about something that could've been dealt with in the regular meeting, later today, as well? Ugh. His friends were awful sometimes. Not that he would ever tell them, of course. He cherished his lead soloist position too much for that.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Kurt! You have to help me!" Rolling his eyes, Kurt looked up from his locker and indeed, right in front of him was the small, insufferable diva otherwise known as Rachel Berry.
"No, Rachel," he responded, almost bored. He knew, after all, what she was about to ask him. "I'm not going to help you win Finn back. I didn't plan on doing that the first time you asked, so why would now be different?"
Rachel huffed, seemingly offended. "I'm doing just fine without Finn, I'll have you know," she told him, but even if Kurt hadn't been subjected to Rachel's endless monologues about how she and Finn were made for each other, he would've known that she was lying. "No, I need to ask you a favour. See, I need to infiltrate the Crawford Country Day school tomorrow and I thought – "
"The what school?" Kurt asked, completely baffled. "Rachel, they aren't even our competition! Why would you want to infiltrate there?"
Rachel looked around and moved a little closer to him, whispering conspiringly, "Rumour has it – alright, I read it while Facebook stalking them – that the Dalton Academy Warblers are giving a select group of Crawford Country Day girls – they're their sister school, you know – a performance that has to do with Regionals. It's a perfect opportunity to see what the Warblers are up to! But I need to sneak into the girls' school first, and then convince them to take me along – that shouldn't be much of a problem – so I need something that looks like the uniform!"
Kurt shook his head. "There's no way anyone could just copy a private school uniform. Can't you just ask one of those girls to let you tag along for a day because you're thinking of transferring?"
Rachel grinned maniacally. "I knew it was a good idea to ask you for help. Thanks, Kurt! I'll see you later!"
"Can't wait," Kurt replied in a bored tone that suggested (but she couldn't prove anything – man, he was becoming more and more like coach Sylvester every day, it seemed) that he'd rather not they'd meet again.
Needless to say, there was no way Rachel was going to let that happen. Kurt sighed when he got a text message not two minutes later, wherein she asked him (pleasantly, but also very, very urgently) to help her anyway, namely by picking her up in Westerville after the performance. Kurt sighed. The things he did for Glee club…
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
After telling her fathers an elaborate, exaggerated story (her specialty) about the Warblers' horrifying spying history (for which she mostly used her own experiences as a spy), they agreed to let her do what was best for the Glee club – but if she got in trouble with the school because of it, it was all her call. They wouldn't defend her.
Now she knew that that was a lie (she'd gotten away with worse things), but she couldn't dwell on it for too long. She needed to get ready for her mission.
She ended up catching a bus (well, a couple of them) to Westerville, thanking God that she could get to the school before the first period started. She was also glad that Kurt had agreed to pick her up afterwards – buses were far from her favourite method of travelling. But she hadn't wanted to ask Kurt to bring her as well. It was a two hour drive, four hours if you included the trip back as well, and with Kurt's skincare routine, he would've had to get up in the middle of the night for that.
Rachel was devoted to Glee, but even she could sense that that was a little over the top.
The private school was, luckily, only a short distance away from the bus stop, and Rachel took a few seconds to take it all in. It was everything she had ever imagined a private school to be – an old building, but still in very good state, and not really looking like a school at all. Expensive, elitist, strict, and, in general, a (most likely) far better respected school than McKinley High could ever dream to be.
A couple of girls passed her on their way in, and Rachel followed them quickly. She didn't actually have an appointment, but she hoped that, for once, the people in charge would overlook that small, small fact.
"Excuse me?" Rachel turned around as she felt someone enter her personal bubble and indeed, one of the girls standing behind her had an arm outstretched, as if about to tap Rachel's shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
Being the great actress that she was, Rachel widened her eyes dramatically (but not too much – she didn't want to scare these girls away, after all). She looked down at the floor and then back at the girls. "I – am Rachel Berry," she introduced herself with a bright smile, even though they hadn't even asked for her name. "I'm considering transferring to Crawford Country Day, and I was wondering if I could tag along with someone today, to see what this school is like."
The four girls exchanged glances, then turned back to Rachel. "Does the faculty know you're here?" the same girl asked her, and Rachel shook her head.
"No, I'm afraid they don't. I realised too late that I had to make an appointment, and today was the only day – "
"Oh, that's fine," another girl, a tall blonde, said, waving her hand. "We'll just tell the teachers that you're a personal friend and they won't make a big deal out of it."
Now, Rachel's eyes widened without her instigating this movement herself. "Really?" she asked, slightly surprised. "You would do that?"
"Sure," the blond girl replied, grinning widely. "It's about time we did something… adventurous."
Rachel grinned back happily. These girls were much nicer than anyone she had ever encountered at McKinley. Another girl snorted, however.
"In case you'd forgotten, Ella, we're also skipping our last period to see the Warblers." The girl rolled her eyes, and Rachel had to forcefully keep herself from grinning ever wider. It seemed that she'd really won the jackpot. "Wouldn't you call that adventurous?"
Before the blonde – Ella? – could reply, Rachel hastily asked, "Warblers? You're going bird-watching?"
Oh, she really was an amazing actress, if she said so herself.
"No, the Warblers are the Dalton Academy a cappella show choir. We're their sister school," the final girl explained. "They asked some of us to come to watch and judge their performance this afternoon, something about an upcoming competition."
"Oh, that sounds nice," Rachel commented. "But… shouldn't you – I mean, we – get to class?"
"Right," the first girl said. "Anyway, since Ella already invited you, why don't you tag along for the day? You said your name was Rachel, right? I'm Lindsay. You've already met Ella – though her actual name is Eileen – and this is Katherine, and Juliette."
"Nice to meet you all," Rachel said, smiling.
This time, she wasn't faking it.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
The classes, Rachel noticed soon, were a lot harder than they were at McKinley. For once, she was glad that it was time for lunch. The small group she had followed around was quickly joined by more girls, all of whom, Rachel learned, were going to the Warblers' performance later; once again, it was Ella who invited Rachel along, and Rachel couldn't say yes hastily enough.
When the moment of truth was finally there, the girls managed to get out of the school and into their cars quietly, but efficiently. It turned out that they had already figured out how many cars they would need and who would drive. Rachel took the short time it took to get to the place where the Warblers would show off their talents to text Kurt the precise location.
"Who're you texting?" Lindsay asked curiously. "Your boyfriend?" A moment later, she groaned, putting her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to be so nosy."
Rachel wasn't exactly used to people being this polite, but she didn't mind at all. "No, that's alright," she replied. "I'm texting my friend who's coming to pick me up afterwards – I hope you don't mind me leaving before dinner, but he couldn't come by later."
"Oh, that's absolutely no problem at all," Ella said happily. "Do you have many male friends?"
She actually looked interested – during the day, Rachel had come to realise that a lot of these girls didn't hang out with boys on a very regular basis. "Not really," she responded, wondering if she could actually legitimately call Kurt a friend, much less the other Glee guys. Puck, maybe, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to be associated with everything he got up to.
After that, silence took over the car, but soon, they were there. Rachel eyed the building (which looked like a deserted factory to her) with a frown.
"Are you sure it's safe to go in?" she asked Juliette, who was standing next to her.
"Not really," the other girl replied, biting her lip.
"Come on, you guys!" Ella shouted at them from a distance. She disappeared inside, and Rachel looked at Juliette again.
"Now we kind of have to, don't we?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Rachel was impressed. The Warblers didn't just stand there, occasionally jumping from one foot to the other while the lead vocalist tried to capture the audience's attention with his odd dance moves and facial expressions, no – they jumped around and danced as well while all harmonising. The lead was sung by the same guy who'd sung at Sectionals, and even though his voice didn't fit the song (called Animal, apparently, but Rachel hadn't heard it before) all the time, it was still a great performance – although Rachel wasn't quite sure what to think of the foam cannon. Oh well – it was fun.
When the song was done, Rachel excused herself – Kurt was probably outside already, waiting for her, and she didn't want to overstay her welcome. Or maybe she just didn't want to be recognised by one of the Warblers. She couldn't help but overhear part of a conversation between a couple of girls and the Warblers' lead singer, though, and she smirked to herself. That information might come in handy at some undetermined moment in the (perhaps very near?) future.
Arriving outside, Rachel spotted Kurt easily – among all the sleek cars the Dalton and Crawford students drove in, his huge car stood out enormously. Just like Kurt himself, naturally, so he was fairly hard to miss as he was leaning against the car.
"Hey!" she greeted him happily, hugging him quickly (she didn't know if he appreciated that, but this was not the time to dwell on things like that). "Thanks for picking me up! My dads are both working now so they didn't have time. Shall we go?"
Kurt stared at the building she'd just come out off. "Was it worth it?" he asked, also glancing at the students of both private schools that emerged from the hall.
Rachel grinned widely. "Yes, it was. Oh! Did you know that the Warblers' lead singer is gay?" Kurt just raised an eyebrow at her, obviously wondering why she mentioned this. "A couple of girls tried to give him their numbers after they were done, but he said he wasn't on their team."
"And what am I supposed to do with that news?" Kurt asked, still confused. "In case you forgot, he's the competition. Besides – I don't even know him and who's to say he's even single? And – "
"Regionals is next week," Rachel said happily. "After that, they're no longer our competition. And we all want you to be happy, Kurt."
"What about the performance?" Kurt asked after a few seconds, clearly eager to change the subject. "Anything special?"
Rachel nodded earnestly. "They added a whole lot of choreography to their performance. Granted, I doubt that they'll bring a foam cannon to Regionals, but even without that, they've loosened up a bit since Sectionals. And their vocals are still great."
Kurt appeared to have some trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that the Warblers had, indeed, used a foam cannon today. "A foam cannon? That's… pretty gay," he told her carefully. "And that's coming from me."
Rachel waved it off. "Yeah, well. Doesn't concern us, does it? There was something weird about it, though… they kept saying that they wanted to be… more sexy for Regionals. I wonder why?"
Kurt frowned. "Sexy? Since when do we have to be sexy for Regionals?" Rachel had no idea either. "I don't even know how to be sexy!" Kurt continued frantically. "I – "
"Just be yourself," Rachel interrupted him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be fine. If you can just be yourself and have fun, you'll be plenty sexy." He seemed doubtful, so Rachel continued, "I just don't get why they feel that they have to be sexy for Regionals. I wonder who told them that."
"It's also a little… suspect, that they're suddenly trying to be sexy, only days after Mr Schue tried to give us some sexual education," Kurt mused, before he seemed to realise something.
Rachel had, however, also caught on by now. "Didn't he write 'sexy' on the board?" she asked, but before Kurt could reply, she added, "You think coach Sylvester is behind this?"
"Who else could it be?"
The two didn't have anymore time to discuss the matter any further, as most of the private school girls suddenly joined them. Rachel would've expected them to either go back to their school (they had snuck out, after all) or hang out with the Warblers afterwards, but clearly, they had other plans.
"Hey, Rachel," a girl named Lisette greeted her. "Where'd you go so quickly? I swear, one moment you were there, and the next, you were gone!"
Rachel plastered a smile onto her face. "I asked Kurt here to come pick me up afterwards, but the show was a bit longer than I expected, and I didn't want him to have to wait for too long." She shrugged a bit as the girls just smiled and introduced themselves to Kurt.
"So Rachel, what do you think?" one of the other girls asked, and Rachel grinned widely.
"It was great! They were pretty good!" She continued gushing for another half a minute before Kurt interrupted her.
"Rachel, I don't think they were talking about the performance," he said slowly, smiling a little uneasily.
Right. Rachel had almost forgotten about the fact that she had only managed to get in because she had pretended to be interested in attending the all-girls private school.
"That was great too!" she quickly improvised. "Everyone was very nice, and the curriculum – it's really challenging, Kurt!"
"Plus," Kurt added, "the uniform looks more fashionable than what you usually wear, so that's good as well. Which is actually odd, because uniforms aren't normally fashionable at all, so that really says something about your clothing choice," he added, eyeing the girls – or well, eyeing their uniforms, because the words 'Kurt', 'eyeing' and 'girls' could never be found in the same sentence.
Although – when Rachel looked a little closer at some of them, it certainly appeared that some of the girls were eyeing Kurt. Huh. Apparently not everyone had such an excellent gay-dar as Rachel herself had. But then again – some of these girls were hardly ever around guys at all.
"Do you think you'll be transferring?" Katherine asked Rachel, smiling kindly.
Rachel smiled back. Was it strange that part of her actually did want to transfer? There was no way she could get distracted by boys at their school, and the other girls were nice to her, unlike most people at McKinley. Then again – this school was all about unity and uniformity. She wouldn't be able to express and develop herself the way she did at McKinley and she wasn't sure if she could live like that.
"I'll have to think about it," she replied in the end. "If I do, you'll see me again soon."
Kurt pressed his lips together at that and she had a vague idea of what he might be thinking – if they would come to support the Warblers at Regionals, they'd see her as well – but she chose to ignore it.
She had thought that they would be leaving by now, but the girls didn't let them go just yet. They started talking (or was it more like flirting? Rachel wasn't sure) with Kurt, and with her as well. Some of the girls, however, said their goodbyes pretty quickly and walked off (towards where, Rachel didn't know), seeming disappointed when Kurt had affirmed that yes, he was definitely gay. He actually looked baffled that they even had to ask.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Blaine was standing in the parking lot with some other Warblers, talking about the performance. From what he'd gathered, the performance had been a success – the Warblers had proven to be sexy when they wanted to be.
A group of Crawford girls approached the group, which surprised him. He hadn't expected them to loiter, but then he spotted another group of girls standing a short distance away. Only then did he realise why the girls were here specifically – they were chattering swiftly and quietly with Nick's girlfriend, who hadn't let go of her boyfriend's arm since the performance was over.
Suddenly one of the girls exclaimed, "Why do all the hot ones have to be gay?" She sounded fairly miserable, and another girl patted her arm consolingly. Blaine recognised the two girls as the ones who'd tried to give him their numbers after the song.
It was only when Nick and David looked positively scandalised and offended when Blaine realised that he had just been complimented. In some weird way, but it was a compliment nevertheless.
Wes, however, smirked at him, and nothing good could come from that. Blaine had learned that the hard way a long time ago. "So there's another 'hot gay guy' around here?" he asked the girls, but never taking his eyes off of Blaine. Grinning, he told his friend, "Well, what are you waiting for, Blaine?"
Catching on, David asked, "Yeah, don't you feel the chemicals kicking in?"
Nick was almost rolling over the ground laughing already (much to his girlfriend's annoyance), but Jeff happily continued, "I think he'd rather run and hide, though."
Rolling his eyes, Blaine asked the first girl, "Who are you talking about?"
The girl just looked more miserable than before, so her friend answered for her. "Some friend of Rachel's – you know, the girl who was checking our school out today and wanted to see you perform? He came to pick her up, they're over there." With that, she pointed in the general direction of the other group of girls. Apparently, there was supposed to be a boy somewhere among them. Blaine wasn't sure if he wanted to risk his life by going in there.
"If you don't go, you won't sleep tonight, Blaine," Nick managed to hiccup, still laughing, but back on his feet at last.
Blaine glared at his friends (although – friends? These people weren't his friends! What was he thinking?), but then, Wes grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off.
"Come on," he said, "we'll all go talk to them if you're afraid to go alone. Who knows, maybe we could recruit him for Dalton, if his friend wants to transfer to Crawford…"
The girls saw them coming and turned around, and that was when Blaine saw him – the 'hot gay guy' the girls had been talking about. And well, he had to admit that they were right. He wasn't blond or very tall (though still taller than Blaine himself, but only slightly) nor did he seem older than Blaine – those were the things Blaine figured he was looking for in a guy. They had applied to Jeremiah, so that was his… type, right? So this guy right here wasn't his type at all.
But why did it feel like he was?
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Oh God, here they come," Rachel mumbled as she saw the Warblers approaching them, and she felt Kurt stiffen next to her. The other girls were quietly watching the Warblers as well, so they didn't notice that both Rachel and Kurt had gone around three shades paler than they'd been before.
"We're in so much trouble now," Kurt breathed. Apparently he was being too loud, as one of the guys blinked at him.
"What do you mean, in trouble?" he asked, and now, everyone was staring at them.
Rachel snickered quietly as she saw that the lead Warbler only had eyes for Kurt and didn't even bother hiding it. Not that Kurt noticed – he was far too preoccupied by the fact that they were about to get caught (even though Rachel was technically the only one who'd done anything wrong).
"I mean," he started, and Rachel could almost hear him think, "that we are going to be in big trouble with our parents if we don't go now."
"Yeah," Rachel quickly took over, "they expect us to be home soon, so we can't afford to stall any longer. Well, it was nice meeting all of you, but we really, really should leave."
Before they could even move, two Warblers practically shoved their lead singer forward, sending him flying towards Kurt, who barely had time to react – not that that mattered, because he was frozen to the spot. Until, of course, the other boy bumped into him, causing them both to fall down.
"Hey," one of them, an Asian boy, said happily. "This is Blaine, our lead vocalist. Did anyone mention he's gay?"
Rachel could only stare. From what she'd seen at Crawford Country Day, she hadn't expected the boys from Dalton to be so… odd. So weirdly enthusiastic. The only girl who'd vaguely seemed this impulsive was Ella, and she really stood out at her school. At Dalton, it seemed almost normal, if these boys were anything to go by.
By now, Kurt and the lead Warbler – Blaine, apparently – had got back up and Kurt was dusting himself off while the somewhat shorter boy was showering him with apologies, even though it wasn't even his fault. Still, Kurt was muttering profanities under his breath, most likely directed at the other Warblers, but at the same time, he seemed to be trying to let the dark haired boy in front of him know that in no way he was blaming him.
In the end, Rachel replied, "Yeah, I told him." She wasn't sure if they heard her – they seemed more interested in the progress their lead singer was making. The girls had left, by now, but they had to go back to make it to dinner in time. "Oh – and this is Kurt, our countertenor. He's gay as well."
Now she had their attention, although for once, she wished she hadn't. "Rachel," Kurt hissed at her, clearly displeased at how she had managed to give them away like that. She only smiled sheepishly in return.
"You're a countertenor?" Blaine asked, sounding in awe. "That's amazing! Do you – "
"Did you say our countertenor?" a blond Warbler asked, frowning confusedly. "Whose countertenor?"
"I – " Rachel started, but she didn't get any further as Kurt interrupted her again.
"She said that I'm a countertenor," he quickly amended. "That's what she meant. You know – not that I… sing a lot." As it turned out, Kurt was a great actor as well. Of course, Rachel could've seen this coming – the two of them were almost too alike for it to be healthy.
"What did you say your name was?" the Asian boy asked her, and after she'd replied, he exchanged glances with the dark boy next to him.
"Sounds familiar," the other boy commented, and he looked back at her.
Rachel felt like grinning; her fame was already spreading throughout Ohio. Kurt, however, didn't appear to share her glee.
"Yes, well – we should really go." At that moment though, a ringtone cut through their conversation and Kurt, once more, muttered angrily under his breath as he extracted the phone from his bag. "Of course, now she has to text me," he said scathingly as he scanned over the message.
The damage seemed to be done, however. Although Rachel admired Kurt's choice of setting different ringtones according to the person who called or texted, and using their own songs for the Glee club members, this meant that when Santana just texted him for some reason or another, Valerie (Santana's version) had boomed across the parking lot for a couple of seconds.
Valerie, the song that she had sung at Sectionals. Where they competed against the Warblers. Who also seemed to realise that now. Well, damn it.
(Still, Rachel planned on calling Kurt when they were in the car, just to see which ringtone he'd set for her. Maybe it was their duet? Or Don't rain on my parade? She was basically exploding from curiosity now.)
After the surprise had worn off, though, the Warblers just looked very amused. "Is New Directions really that desperate to find out what we're up to that they had you infiltrate our sister school and watch us perform that way?" the dark boy asked, clearly trying to fight back a smile.
"She chose to do this herself," Kurt replied quickly. "She's done stranger things to find out what the competition is doing."
Rachel huffed. "Oh yeah?"
Kurt raised an eyebrow at her. "You went through the dumpsters near the Carmel auditorium last year to find out what Vocal Adrenaline was up to at the time. Sneaking into an all-girls private school is much cleaner than that."
True enough, the boys looked a little disgusted at Rachel's previous actions, but she didn't let that bother her. "You weren't exactly hiding it," she huffed. "It was all over Facebook!"
"Oh, that's where I know you from," a brown haired boy who hadn't spoken up until now said all of a sudden. "You're my number one Facebook stalker, yet I had no idea who you were. It's nice to be able to put a face to the name, you know, since your profile is completely private."
All the other boys were now nodding in realisation and recognition, and Rachel could just feel Kurt staring at her incredulously – he probably wished he had come up with such a brilliant strategy.
"Still, wouldn't it be easier to let him spy on us at Dalton?" the Asian boy asked, and Rachel realised only now that the lead singer had been suspiciously quiet ever since he'd praised Kurt for being a countertenor.
"Kurt doesn't blend in well," she immediately responded. "Neither do I, of course, but – don't you think he wouldn't stand out at your school, even if he wore a uniform?" She directed the question at the lead singer, but he was staring intently at Kurt. Slightly alarmed, she turned to glance at Kurt. Who was staring right back, blushing lightly.
Wait. That wasn't good. If the competition wanted to fall for one of them, that was completely fine. But the other way around – not good. At all. In fact, it was disastrous. Especially now.
"We're going," she decided. "For real now. Come on, Kurt, let's go. Get in the car." She almost pushed a (for once) softly protesting Kurt towards the driver's seat, also effectively breaking the spell the lead Warbler seemed to be under. "As for you lot, we'll see you next week at Regionals. Try not to cry when we beat you."
With that, she got into the car as well, and soon, they were on the road, leaving some baffled Warblers behind them.
(When she called Kurt, her ringtone turned out to be My headband. He snickered at her shocked reaction to this, but then promised to change it to something better after Regionals.)