~~~

“You don’t hate me?” I ask, tears rolling down my face. “Why would I hate you Blaine?”Seth responds. “If this is who you are, then it is, I’m not judging you for it. We’ve been friends since before we could talk. Come here.” He gives me a hug and tells me everything is going to be fine. “I wish you told me though, before today.” I apologize, until today I never thought I would want to let anyone know. But I also did not expect Justin to kiss me in front of our friends, a few days shy of our first year of high school.

�

“You told your parents?” Seth asks, he knew I wanted to let Mom know before word got out. “Yeah, last night. She seemed disappointed but handled it better than I expected. She told dad, I heard them yelling at each other ‘til I fell asleep. I could just see at breakfast, he’s changed, the way he looks at me, it’s different.” I say. “Well, at least they heard it from you. Don’t sweat it. C’mon homeroom starts in 5 minutes.” �As we walk to class I see Justin at the other end of the hallway running towards us, we haven’t spoken since the kiss last weekend. “Hello there.” His green eyes are so captivating. I can feel my heart race as he smiles and places his hand on my shoulder and says: �“Please tell me I still get to eat at our lunch table today.” “Why wouldn’t you �man? Nothing’s changed.” Seth answers. “Yeah..I..I.” I try to think of something coherent to say but I just stand there. “Thanks Seth. Hey you..I’m sorry, couldn’t help myself. See you at lunch.” Justin kisses my forehead and �walks away. Seth laughs and we walk into class, I take a second to look around and everyone is giving me a look. But I don’t mind, I feel like melting into my seat, so this is what it feels like.

~~~
����������� I snap awake and walk over to my desk, it’s full of books, papers and a few empty cans of soda. I open the right-hand drawer to take out a book. It’s brown leather cover has a few dents on it. It still looks the same since he gave it to me, the smell of photopaper, watercolor, ink and his favorite body spray fills the air. The cover page reads “Mirrors: The Reflections of the Young Life of Justin Mason”. His handwriting is very beautiful, neat and intricate. I can imagine him carefully writing these words, like the loops and ends of each letter and word already mean so much. I shut Justin’s journal close and throw it back into my desk drawer. I cannot. I will not. I am terrified to look into what he wrote in the thing.

����������� I walk around my room, I realize how much of a mess it is. It’s Saturday so most of the students are either on their way home or sleeping the day away. I pick up my clothes from the floor and throw them into my laundry bin. I begin to shove all of the empty cans, wrappers and papers into a garbage bag when Wes knocks and for the first time I let him into my room. “You’re cleaning?” he asks. �“Yeah, My room’s been a mess since the start of term.” “Well, It’s a good thing you never let us in here, I would’ve given you a hard time about it. You’re supposed to segregate those, paper and plastics!” Wes manages to help me and scold me at the same time.
After we get all the trash out, change my sheets, arrange my clothes, desk and books, we both sit on the floor, ice cold bottles of water in our hands.

����������� I’ve known Wes from day one. I visited the academy, he was the only student who was available to show me around, it was right in the middle of the school year. He was very gracious and refined, enthusiastic and very positive about everything. He told me that if I decided to transfer, he’d make sure I’ll be okay, and that I’ve gained a friend. I transferred but did not want to befriend anybody. I didn’t talk to anyone in my year but Wes was always there. It didn’t take long for him to drop the offer for me to join the Warblers. It was an ordinary weekend and I was walking around the campus gardens when he joined me, we had a lively discussion about Rent and �The Phantom of the Opera, the next day I auditioned.

����������� “Thanks, Wes.” I say. “It’s nothing, just promise me you’ll keep this room tidy. You’re actually very lucky you don’t have a roommate. It’s easier to maintain.” he answers. We just sit there and Wes finally asks what he’s been dying to ask since he knocked this morning: “So you want to talk about the fact that you actually tried to help Kurt with that bully and called your family, all in one day? Kind of a big deal”

“I’m pretty surprised you didn’t ask while we were organizing my books.” I answer. “ I don’t know Wes, it’s like I’ve been stuck all year, and he just walks in and I see myself in him, but not completely. There are sides to him that I wish I had. I can see that he’s stronger than I was, that he cares too much, and that he needs someone to help him. I’m not the right person to help him, but there’s no one else is there? I think he wants to come here if he could. That wouldn’t help him right? It definitely did not help me.”

�

“Don’t say that. Since you transferred I’ve seen you glue yourself together bit by bit. Your grades are fine, you’re a member of the schools’ top club, and you might even be our competition soloist this year. You’ve grown Blaine, you’re not stuck. You reached out to your family too. They always call to ask about you, y’know.” Wes always does this when we talk. He likes making people feel uplifted, it works for a while.

�

“But I’m not completely okay, you said that yourself.” I sigh.

�

“From what I know about what you went through, I think you’re on the right track. I thought Kurt would trigger something in you and all your progress would go down the drain. Obviously I was wrong. He seems to be good for you like Andrew and David said.” Wes stands up and I follow, he has to leave to meet with Tara, his girlfriend. I wear my Dalton hoodie, sweatpants and get into my shoes. I stretch a bit outside and run around the campus just to clear my head.

�

I walk back to my room and take a bottle of water from the fridge, take off my hoodie and wipe some of the sweat from my face. My heart starts pounding faster when I reach for my phone to find a message from Kurt. �

�

Hi! Hope you’re not busy today. Can we talk?

�

I reply without hesitation. I offer to meet him at The Lima Bean, but he declines. He says his father and Carol are getting married tomorrow and he needs to make sure everything is ready, so we talk on the phone while he’s making sure everyone’s seating assignment is perfect.

�

“Can you believe how hard it was to actually select the perfect flower arrangement?!” he starts.

�

“I could only imagine, but I bet you chose something brilliant.” I reply, Kurt’s voice seems genuinely happy.

�

“Of course I did. This is the first wedding I’ve ever planned, it has to be magical.”

�

“I have no doubts it will be. So, everything’s fine?” I ask. I take a seat on my bed, hoping he says everything is alright.

�

“Well, sort off...Karofsky was expelled yesterday.”
�����������

“Wow! That’s great Kurt. I mean, that means you’re safe. How did that happen?”

�

“He made the wrong move, my father was at McKinley when he thew me a threatening glance. Next thing I knew we were in our Principal’s office and he was expelled. I feel better. Like I can breathe easy. He... He... He said he was going to kill me if anyone knew. I didn’t tell you because every time I tried to send you a message about it and how terrified I was, I kept thinking how easily he could do it.”

�

I stay quiet for a few seconds and sigh, “I’m glad the right actions against him were made. But when someone threatens your life Kurt, you have to tell somebody, like an adult. I know it seems like I’m lecturing you, but what if something happened, what if he tried something and nobody knew.”

�����������

“I know. You’re right. I also thought that maybe you were getting tired of me whining and running to you for help.” Kurt says.

����������� “Is that why I haven’t heard from you in weeks?”

����������� “Yes, I didn’t want to be a bother to you.”

����������� “Don’t think that way, I gave you my number right? You’re not whining and help is what I’m here for.”

“Thank you. I have to go and drive to the chapel, we’re singing tomorrow and dancing is involved, I don’t want Finn to squish a flower girl. I really just wanted to thank you and share the news.”

“I hope you have a great time tomorrow and you can give my best wishes to Mr. Hummel and Carol.”

“I will, Bye Blaine and thanks.”

����������� Kurt will be alright, for the rest of his high school life, he will be fine. I feel intensely happy for him. He won. I find myself drawn to my desk, I sit there with my hands on my face. One hand stretches out to the right hand drawer I slammed shut this morning. I take it out and open Justin’s journal for the first time.

�