Feb. 13, 2012, 7:31 p.m.
Stick To The Script: Chapter 4
M - Words: 3,224 - Last Updated: Feb 13, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Dec 16, 2011 - Updated: Feb 13, 2012 292 0 0 0 0
I finished up with the guy from social services, although, I barely understood any of what he was saying. Most of the meeting consisted of me looking up to Burt for advice and he would nod or shake his head until he was satisfied with a decision, I trust him. The only thing that I knew was completely clear was that Riley and I were transferring from our old schools to McKinley starting Monday.
As promised, I called Riley when I finished up with social services. I decided it would be better for me not to tell her about transferring tonight; that was better left to tomorrow in person when I could be there. It was only seven o'clock but she said she would just crawl in bed for the night and I knew that I wasn't far behind her. The only problem was that I had come straight home to social services that I had no idea where my bed would be in the Hudson-Hummel house. Burt certainly wasn't going to let me stay in Kurt's room, he wouldn't even let us watch a movie in there with the door shut, but the rest of the family was in lounging around on the couch in the living room right now leaving me with no options for a bed.
"Hey kiddo, how did the call go with your sister? Is she doing okay over there?"
"I think so, she didn't say much. I just think this whole thing is really overwhelming for her. She only told me that she was going to go to bed in just a few minutes."
"That's probably smart. It has been a long day for her, and she needs the rest so she can heal. Finn, Carole, and Kurt are in watching something on the T.V. right now if you want to go join them."
If I couldn't go to bed right now, the second best option was to go cuddle close to Kurt in the living room and hope to fall asleep on his shoulder. Burt and I walked in together and Kurt immediate opened his arms for me to climb in. That was the reason that I loved him so much; he understood me. I didn't need someone to tell me everything was going to be okay, or try to force me to talk about things; I just needed someone to be there for me. And Kurt knew that.
I sat with my legs curled over his lap and my head resting gently in the crook of his neck. They were watching Transformers, obviously it was Finn's decision, and I knew I could quickly drift into sleep during this movie.
Just as I was about to close my eyes I could feel Kurt's phone begin to vibrate in his pocket. I shifted to the side to allow him to grab it and when he looked at the screen I watched his eyes grow wide with panic. He glanced over at me before immediately swiping the answer bar on the bottom of the iPhone and putting it up to his ear.
"Rachel? Is everything okay?" Shit. Something had happened with Riley. I quickly pulled out my phone remembering it was on silent. Four missed calls. Without even thinking I grabbed the phone from Kurt's hand and ran out of the room.
"Rachel! Did something happen to Riley? Is she hurt? What's going on?"
"Blaine! I didn't want to freak you out, but Riley won't stop crying and asking for you. Something about a blanket I think."
"Put her on." My voice sounded cold and it even scared me, but on the other end of the line I could hear the phone being passed and sniffles began to fill the receiver.
"Blaine, I can't find my blanket! I can't sleep without my blanket! What am I supposed to do? I think Dad would have ruined it by now!" Somewhere between the medication, the lack of sleep, and the overwhelmingness of her new life Riley had slipped into hysterics.
"Ri, I know I unpacked it for you today. Did you check on the bed?" But as much as I tried to help I had just caused her to go even deeper into a panic. "Riley. I'll be right there, okay?"
"You promise?" I knew there was so much more than just a simple promise for me to come over behind that question. That one question had been the defining question of her and my relationship since before Riley was even born.
"I promise."
Kurt already had the car running and my coat ready when I hung up the phone. I've never seen him drive so quickly, but within eight minutes of hanging up the phone I was frantically knocking on the Berry's front door.
One of her dads answered I said a quick "Hello" before running down the stairs to the basement. Riley was sitting on the couch with her head buried in her knees and Rachel was sitting next to her rubbing her back, clearly at a loss of what to do anymore when she looked up and saw me.
"Blaine! Oh, thank goodness." At my name Riley looked up and ran across the room to me before wrapping me so tightly in her arms I couldn't even move.
"Blaine! It's gone! What am I going to do?"
"Riley," I was able to shake her arms looser so I could hug her back, "First of all, you shouldn't be running around like this, the doctor said you need to stay in bed or sitting down for a few more days." I walked her back to sit next to Rachel, "Now, I know I packed your blanket. It was the first thing I grabbed. Did you check on the bed?"
"Yes." She sniffled but I could tell she was starting to calm down now that I was there. "And I checked in the closet and I triple checked the duffle bag to make sure it didn't get left in there. It's not here Blaine."
"Let me go check. Rachel, do you have any tea you can make for her?"
"Yes, of course I do." Rachel turned and quickly ran up the stairs thankful to be able to do something helpful.
I walked into the bedroom and I could tell that Riley's panic had started in here. The bed covers were thrown on the floor and the clothes that I had hung nicely in the closet were now lying on the bed. I shook the comforter a few times to double check before crossing over to the dresser. Most of the drawers were empty because I wasn't able to grab nearly enough clothes to fill it so searching through them wouldn't be that hard.
Rachel had come back down with tea for Riley and they both sat on the couch while I searched. After making it through all the drawers of the dresser I began to panic a little thinking that maybe I had forgotten the blanket, or it had been put in my bag back at the Hudson-Hummel house. Just as I was about to go break my sisters heart once more I remembered exactly where I had unpacked the blanket. Funny how mistaking the blanket for a towel could cause so much emotion and stress in her life, it just proved to me how much I had broken her.
I walked out into the living room with her blanket in my hand. She had finished her tea and was talking to Rachel.
"You see, my grandma gave me the blanket the day I was born and I have never slept a night without it. Like, ever. I used to get teased for bringing it to sleepovers, so I stopped going to birthday parties and stuff. I don't know what it is about it..." she trailed off when she saw me and looked at the blanket in my hand. "You found it? Oh, thank you, Brother!"
"It was in with your towels, silly me."
"It's okay, as long as Dad doesn't have it." She yawned as she pulled away from my hug.
"Hey Ri, maybe you should go to bed. It's been a long day and I'm sure your medication isn't making it any easier." Her eyes were suddenly panicked all over again as she thought about having to go to bed without me there to protect her. "I'll stay until you fall asleep. How does that sound?"
"You promise?"
"I promise."
She went into her room to change into her pajamas as I quickly ran upstairs remembering that Kurt was waiting for me. I told him to give me just a few more minutes before I went back down to Riley's room.
She was pulling back the covers when I got there. I sat on the side of her bed and gave her a little back rub until I could hear the sound of her deep breathing take over. I got up to turn off the lights when I turned back to look at her one more time. She was thirteen years old, fourteen next week, and she had already been through so much. The bruising on her face was now barely visible and her eye was almost completely back to normal. She had a huge bump on the back of her head, presumably from when Dad smacked it against the couch, and the bandages that were wrapped around her stomach were poking out the bottom of her shirt. I silently walked over and pulled the comforter so it completely covered her broken body before turning off the lights and heading back upstairs. Everything here was safe and I knew she would make it through the night okay. Finn was coming over here in the morning to pick Rachel up for school and I would come over then too and spend the day with her, but for now I knew she was safe and that is all the comfort I needed.
Kurt and I spent the drive home in silence while he rubbed soft circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. We pulled up to his house and he quickly got out of his seat and crossed over to my side. I opened my door and walked right into his waiting arms. He softly kissed my forehead and it gave me butterflies.
"It's been a long day for her. Thank you for coming with me."
"It's been a long day for both of you." He said as I yawned into his chest. "Maybe it's time you go to bed too?"
"I would love to Kurt, but your family is in watching their movie so I have nowhere to sleep."
"My dad said you can spend tonight in my room with me. But he was very clear that he would only allow it tonight. He understands how much you are going through." At his words I pulled away from our hug to look up at him; he was being serious.
"Well, in that case," I grabbed his hand again and we walked through the front door, "I would love to go to bed right now. But only if you'll come, there is something I have to tell you."
I had been so concentrated on making sure I packed everything that Riley needed I had somehow skipped over a lot of my necessities, like pajamas. Kurt had given me an old t-shirt of his and Carole had managed to find an old pair of Finn's sweat pants. I should have felt ridiculous in the clothes that practically drown my body but I was too nervous about telling Kurt. I knew that I needed to tell Kurt about my dad and what had happened a year ago, but what if he hated me for not telling sooner? What if he started to blame what happened to Riley on me too? There is no possible way he could understand my reasons for keeping things quiet... but I owed him at least that much. I owed him and his family so much more but I decided to start with baby steps.
Once Kurt had gotten changed into his pajamas and we both said goodnight to the rest of his family we went upstairs to his room. Kurt shut the door behind him while I walked over and crawled in his bed. The memories started through my head as Kurt's scent began to rush all around me from the covers and pillows on his bed. All the movies we had tried to watch that just turned into make-out sessions, or all the days I would come over and he would work on his homework and I would work on mine, or just the times I told him about the Warblers and he had told me about New Directions. They were the memories of me falling in love with Kurt.
He came over and got into bed next to me leaving the lamp on his nightstand on. He opened his arms and I scooted over so my head was resting on his chest and we were holding each other.
"So, what is it you wanted to tell me?" I tensed because as much as I had laid in bed for the past three months practicing how I was going to tell him, I had suddenly gone blank. My mind was frantically searching for words.
"Well... you see... I..." I paused to take a deep breath and flip over so I was sitting crisscross applesauce on his bed. "I haven't been honest with you about my dad. A few days ago wasn't the first time he has done something like that." I took the time to look up from the comforter and into Kurt's eyes. I was expecting them to be cold and hard but his eyes were encouraging. This would have been much harder for me if Kurt and I hadn't already shared so much of our lives. Taking another breath I continued on. "A year ago, when I came out to my parents my dad didn't react so well to that either. Luckily, I was able to get Riley out of the room before things started to get bad. It started off with just a slap, but things began to get worse very quickly." I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes and I felt Kurt's hand slip into mine and he began to rub small circles along the back of my hand again. Letting the tears fall down my cheek I fought past the lump in my throat, "He brought me into the kitchen away from my mom and sister before he began to yell things at me about how I used to be his son and I was just a waste of space now. I started crying right there in front of him and he told me that he had raised me to be better than that so he pulled out the lighter from the kitchen drawer." I couldn't look up at Kurt, I was frozen staring down at the tiny designs in the comforter that I traced with my finger, "He pulled my shirt up so my back was exposed and pulled the flame down to my skin. He held it there and I could feel my skin forming a blister before he pulled it away. He kept doing that over and over and laughed loudly to himself. When he was finished he threw down the lighter, and walked out of the room." I had to choke back the tears before I could turn around and lift my shirt to show Kurt the scar. I heard Kurt gasp when I showed him what my dad had done. I couldn't see it now, but I had looked at it so many times before that I could perfectly picture it. That night my dad had burned the word "fag" onto my back. "I knew exactly how my dad was going to react when I told him about you and if I had been honest with Riley she would have known too, and maybe she wouldn't have gotten involved." I could feel hurt's warm hands start to touch my burns and I pulled away instinctively and turned back to face Kurt. My anger began to take over, "Kurt, Riley getting hurt is my fault. If I had just warned her more about Dad, or tried just a little harder to get her away she wouldn't be wrapped in bandages right now and sleeping in some girl's house who she barely knows. Or, better yet," I scoffed to myself, "If I had just freaking told someone a year ago her and I wouldn't have had to live in fear. We could be moved on by now and she never would have gotten hurt."
"And you never would have met me." Kurt's voice was quiet yet forceful. "Blaine, whatever happened to you a year ago and what happened to you and Riley a few days ago was not your fault and is never going to be your fault. Your dad is not a nice person and even if this did happen to you a year ago, you couldn't have known what was going to happen to Riley this time around. You need to stop blaming yourself."
"But it is Kurt. Why can't you see that? My little sister was put in the emergency room because of me. You can't even deny that."
"Blaine," he grabbed my face between his face and rested his forehead against mine, "You need to listen to me. If you hadn't told your dad about me then he would have found something else to go off about and who knows if you would have been there for Riley or not. It sucks that it happened, but if it had to happen I'm glad, and so is she, that you are here to help her through it."
I had no other defense for the night because I knew that Kurt would never understand what I was going through. So I let him think I had understood his words and sunk back down to lying on his chest.
"The night my dad did that to me I snuck into Riley's room in the middle of the night to sleep in her bed with her. I wanted to be there incase my dad found it fitting to go after her too. Every night since then I have spent with her either in my room or hers; that is until tonight."
"Blaine, I had no idea. If I had known I would have fought for you two to stay in the same house."
"No, don't worry about it. I know I can't protect her for forever. Getting her out of that house was the first step and letting her go is the second. You just helped me along the way."
Kurt once again knew that I didn't need to hear any reassuring words. He pulled me closer to him before placing his hand under my chin to lift my face to his.
"I love you." He placed a warm kiss on my lips. It wasn't needy or short and it wasn't sloppy or too clean either; it was perfect. It made my heart grow and my stomach do flips. It made me fall in love with Kurt even more.
Once I was completely sure he was asleep I quickly crawled off the bed to my duffle bag where I grabbed my phone out of my jeans pocket and my iPod and headphones. I quietly turned on the music and let myself slowly drift into slumber.