Aug. 13, 2012, 12:59 p.m.
Busted: Chapter 15
T - Words: 2,724 - Last Updated: Aug 13, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Mar 24, 2012 - Updated: Aug 13, 2012 947 0 0 0 0
"Is something wrong?"
"No, no, no." Blaine began to twist his fingers together.
"You know you picked that habit up from me. You never used to do that when we were little."
Blaine felt a small smile grow on his lips. "Ya. I guess we both kind of picked up little things from each other." Kurt nodded with a smile on. "Here's the deal, what I'm about to say... I don't want it to ruin our friendship, alright?"
"Okay..." Kurt furrowed his eyebrows at Blaine.
"I feel... Well, I just can't..." Blaine closed his eyes trying to put his thoughts together, "Ever since we kissed I... I can't stop thinking about it." His words came out barely louder than a whisper and his eyes stayed glued to the ground.
"What was that?"
Blaine sighed, "Never mind."
"No," Kurt crossed the room to take Blaine's hand. He looked up and locked eyes with him, "Please tell me."
"I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since we kissed. I can't stop thinking about how good you always look, or how soft your hands are, or how my stomach flips every time you hold mine. I can't stop thinking about how you're the only person who has always been there for me, even when you weren't because just the thought of you was enough to help me. I can't stop thinking about everything about you."
Kurt could feel his eyes growing wider as each word spilled from Blaine's mouth. He dropped his hand and took a few panicked stops backward.
"Blaine, what are you saying."
"I like you, Kurt! As more than just my best friend." Blaine kept a careful eye on Kurt while he backed up and leaned his head against the wall. It was easily four full minutes before either one made any noise.
"I can't, Blaine."
"Can't what?
"I'm not ready for this right now." Kurt looked down to the ground and glued his eyes to his shoes. "I mean, I am still trying to figure out what to do with my life at school, I can't show up one day with a boyfriend. It would just be too hard and people would have to know about us and-"
"Kurt, I don't want to date you." Kurt whipped his head up to meet Blaine's.
"But you just said..."
"I said I have feelings for you. But you're right. We're not ready for a relationship or anything. Not only are we still trying to figure ourselves out but I have stuff with my family to deal with and we both are keeping this stuff quiet at school. I just couldn't not tell you. I tell you everything, and even if you don't feel the same way about me I had to be fair." Blaine could feel the slight sting of tears in his eyes when he realized that Kurt never said he felt the same way, but he found a way to hold them back.
"I never said I didn't feel that way, Blaine." Kurt walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge, "There is something between us; neither one of us can deny it. It took me until earlier to figure it all out, but I know exactly what feeling you are talking about. I feel it, too."
Blaine felt like a great weight had lifted off his shoulders as he walked over to sit a few inches from Kurt. "I got some pretty good advice from Coop this morning, wanna hear it"
"You talked to Coop about this?"
Blaine's cheeked turned bright red, "Ya, well, who else was I supposed to go to? Anyway, he said that, like, if we both like each other or whatever we can like, hang out and stuff like normal but just with the understanding that we like each other but not be dating. Does that even make sense?"
"Kind of, maybe. So would be still hold hands like we are best friends or, would that be banned now?"
"Wait, do you actually wanna try this?"
"What he suggested? I don't really see how we can't try it. We both like each other, and until we figure things out in our own lives then sure, let's try it."
Blaine could feel his heart beat speed up and he hoped Kurt wouldn't catch on to his excitement.
"Well, I like holding your hand. So maybe we can still do that."
"Okay." Kurt looked up shyly through his eyelashes with a small smile on his lips.
The silence between the boys wasn't awkward this time. They were both lost in their thoughts of each other. Burt called up to the boys that had a snack ready for them.
"If we don't go down he is going to get mad. Can we not tell him anything yet? I think I should do it on my own."
"Of course." Kurt stood up and started walking toward the door, "Kurt?"
He turned around to find Blaine still sitting on the bed.
"Ya?"
"Can... umm... can we maybe... kiss again? We don't have to if you don't want to and it won't be part of our like... whatever we are but I just think that maybe if we kiss without like, something bad happening then-" Blaine stopped when he felt Kurt's hand on his.
Without a hesitation Kurt leaned forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's. Time could have stopped and they never would have known. The world beyond the two of them seemed to melt away. The butterflies swarmed around in their stomachs and for those short few moments their hearts beat together. Kurt pulled away but kept his hand in Blaine's. Both of them opened their eyes slowly to reveal the smiles on each other's face.
"Ya. I think this is going to be the best idea Cooper has come up with yet."
Together they walked down to the kitchen to meet Burt, hoping their words would make it passed the butterflies that swarmed around in their stomachs.
After they finished their math homework together, Kurt and Blaine walked to the neighborhood park together. It was the same park they used to play in together as kids. They remembered all the times they would play house in the sandbox or tag on the play equipment, but most they remembered how back when they were young they were able to hold hands and hug each other all they wanted in public, but now that they were older things have changed. The world has become more judgmental. If they were to hold hands while they walked to the park now someone who was driving by would surely call them dirty names. Or someone at school might see them and the bullying that Kurt took and Blaine had to deal with would certainly become so much worse. So for now they walked together, but not together. Blaine would walk a few steps ahead of Kurt and each boy would keep their heads down while barely speaking above a whisper to each other.
Most of the bullies from school lived in the houses they had to walk by to get to the park. Once they passed the street they would be able to walk and talk normally, but they wanted to be safe. Right at the end of the block Kurt caught back up to Blaine and they started laughing and goofing off together again.
"Out on a date are we? This isn't what we meant, Anderson, when we told you to start going out."
Blaine could feel Kurt stiffen a few steps behind him. "Drop it, Azimio. Kurt and I are just hanging out. We aren't even bothering you."
"You two sure seem to hang out a lot. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you could have a girlfriend by now if you didn't hang around that all the time." Azimio motioned towards where Kurt was standing.
"Why are you and Karofsky so obsessed with me getting a girlfriend anyway?"
"Well then, I would say that you're just as gay as your friend over here because we both know that the Sugar girl was holding your hand and snuggling up to you after practice the other day and you turned her down."
"You know what? I'm not even going to argue this with you." Blaine started walking down the street again with Kurt following closely behind.
"Fine. But you two better find another way back because one my parents find out that there is a gay guy walking down our street... well let's just say things are going to get pretty ugly."
Kurt and Blaine turned back to go to Kurt's house to make cookies, their mood to run around and play was completely gone.
"How come they always just assume I'm gay?" Blaine could barely hear Kurt's voice above the cars driving by.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I haven't told anyone at school. And this whole thing started long before I even figured out if I was gay for sure or not. So how do they know?"
"Because you're different." Kurt looked up at Blaine's words to find that he was looking out at the sidewalk ahead. There was no tone of accusation in his voice, it was a simple observation.
"Well, I don't want to be different. Why can't I be normal for once? Why can't I be the one who gets to walk down the hall without having a fear of what nasty things I am going to hear people whisper about me that day, or be afraid of who is going to be around the corner just waiting to shove me. Why can't I just be another kid?"
"I wouldn't want you to be." Blaine looked over to Kurt lightly squeezed his arm before withdrawing his hand back. "You wouldn't be the same if you were like that, Kurt. You wouldn't be the person who has been my best friend for five years. You wouldn't be the person who throws me random movie nights because my dad sucks." Blaine lowered his voice to a whisper, "You would be the same person I just kissed back in your bedroom."
Kurt felt all the blood rush to his cheeks and even his ears tinted to a light pink. It was going to take some getting used to, having to think of him and Blaine as anything but the Kurt and Blaine they have always been.
Back in the kitchen Kurt turned on his iPod and the boys set out on their adventure of cookie baking. They danced around and sang while pulling the flour and eggs out onto the counter. Kurt had made cookies so many times that he didn't need a recipe anymore, and Blaine was happy to help. Blaine took some flour and made war paint stripes under his eyes; Kurt ran away when Blaine tried to put some on him. It turned into a fun game of chase around the center counter until Blaine finally went full speed ahead and crashed into Kurt bringing them both to the ground.
Sometime within their fit of giggles Blaine managed to get flour all over Kurt's face making them laugh harder.
With sore stomachs and messy faces they managed to finish the cookies and get them in the oven. Blaine grabbed a handful of the left over chocolate chips and sat down with Kurt to wait for the timer.
"Are you going to tell your dad tonight?"
"Umm... I think so. I'm a little nervous about what he might say, though."
"Why?"
"I just don't want him to think things are going to get weird or that like... I don't know. I'm just nervous."
"Well my mom was completely ecstatic when I told her about everything."
"Really?"
"Ya! Apparently we used to be all our moms could talk about." Blaine told Kurt what his mom had told him and how together their moms practically planned their entire future.
Kurt felt taken aback. He had never heard that story before. "So my mom would want this?"
"That's what my mom said. She said that they had bets on when we would figure all of this out and if she were.... Um here she would have won."
Kurt could feel the tears swell up in his eyes and Blaine reached over to take his hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Ya, ya. That just, uh, makes me feel a lot better."
Blaine smiled over at Kurt and his breath caught in his throat when he realized how close their faces were. They sat frozen there for a few seconds, and right as Blaine built up the courage to lean forward the timer on the oven went off.
Kurt jumped back and out of his seat running over to the over to put the cookies on the top shelf and reset the timer. "Maybe we better clean up."
Once the kitchen was clean and the cookies were all in the cookie jar they sat around watching mindless TV until Tracy came to pick Blaine up. Their hands kept brushing against each other's until finally Blaine intertwined their fingers. They would steal glances toward the other never really letting the smile from their faces. Eventually Burt came in to tell them that Tracy was there.
"I'll see you on Monday, okay?"
"Okay." Kurt played with his bottom lip with his teeth being extra aware of Burt standing there. He pulled Blaine into a small hug before sliding his hand down his arm and giving his hand a light squeeze before he turned and walked out to his van.
That night when Burt was tucking Kurt into bed he told him about Blaine.
"No, Dad. We aren't dating. We're just like, I don't really know what to call it, but we both like each other and agreed that it just isn't a good time for us to start dating so we are like, friends who like each other."
"Don't you think that could turn into a messy situation, buddy?"
"It's Blaine, Dad. We are always together anyway."
"Ya, but what if someone else comes along that one of you starts to like. You aren't together so you can't break up and then things are just going to get messy and they aren't going to end pretty."
"Whatever, you don't get it. We're Kurt and Blaine. Nobody is coming between us."
"Okay. I trust you, I just want you to know that this little arrangement you have can't last forever. Eventually you both are going to have to decide one way or another; be together or not."
"We will. Just not yet."
"Okay, buddy. I'm happy for you." Burt leaned down to kiss Kurt's forehead.
"Thanks, Dad. Me too." With a smile on his face Kurt rolled over and pulled the covers up to his chin letting the dreams take over his mind. Burt sighed and closed the door behind him going to grab a beer and let his brain take a handle on the fact that the dating stage has now begun in his son's life.
Thanksgiving came and went with Blaine lying to Cooper about the bullying stopping at school. Tom didn't come home for the holidays, but did call and talked to Tracy and Cooper right before dinner. The holidays had become a hard time for both Blaine and Kurt, and it was even harder that they barely got to see each other because of family and other commitments. The next week at school went by just like any other, besides the few stolen glances between Kurt and Blaine during their classes or lunch. There was one rather bad encounter with Azimio and Karofsky after practice on Wednesday that involved yelling derogatory terms up the bleachers at Kurt and Blaine almost starting a fight, but they got through it together. They hung out almost every day after school and quickly became more and more comfortable with the status of their not quite relationship, although they hadn't kissed again. On Friday night Burt and Kurt joined Tracy and Blaine for a Friday night dinner like they did when they were young.
Afterward, while Burt and Tracy stayed in the kitchen to clean up and talk Kurt and Blaine went in and watched a movie together. They ended up with Kurt leaning against Blaine's side with their fingers intertwined. They didn't even bother to put some space between them with Tracy and Burt came in to join them.
Since this new arrangement the boys weren't allowed to share a bed anymore, but Blaine still spent the night on the pull out couch. On Saturday morning Kurt came downstairs and joined Blaine in watching some Saturday morning cartoons. He wasn't sure what his dad had been so worried about. Everything with Blaine was going fine, in fact, it was going great.