My Beautiful Rescue
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My Beautiful Rescue: Chapter 13


M - Words: 6,774 - Last Updated: Apr 17, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 26/26 - Created: Sep 16, 2012 - Updated: Apr 17, 2013
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Blaine felt like he was going to be sick when he woke up on the morning of Rachel's visit. Rachel could easily tell someone about him or judge him for the way he was living and there was no way he would trust her if it wasn't for Kurt. However, all of Kurt's reassurances did nothing to ease the nauseating churning in his stomach.

It took him a lot longer than usual to get through his morning routine of washing his face and getting dressed, and as a result he was only just attempting to coax his hair into something other than a tangled mess of curls when Kurt arrived with breakfast for them both. He noticed how Blaine was feeling right away.

"It will be alright," Kurt said softly. "I promise. Rachel's really nice and she won't tell a soul - trust me." He held Blaine's gaze and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I trust you," Blaine whispered, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of Kurt's wide, earnest blue eyes, more grey today thanks to the grey sweater he was wearing.

Kurt's lips parted and something flared up in his eyes, but just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared. "I made pancakes for breakfast since you like them so much." He turned to fetch the tray, leaving Blaine a little confused as to what had just happened.

"Great," Blaine responded distractedly, sitting down on the floor next to Kurt and accepting the plate that was passed to him. "What time is Rachel coming?" he asked. Not that he knew the time to be able to know how soon that was, but talking helped to control his nerves a little.

Kurt spooned some fruit onto his plate. "Ten," he replied. "I didn't want to make it too late in the day so we were sitting around worrying for hours, but it had to be late enough for everyone else to have left. It's just after nine now, so we have a bit of time before she gets here."

Nodding, Blaine chewed a mouthful of fruit even though the thought of eating made his stomach twist unpleasantly.

Kurt had managed to get his family out of the house so Rachel's visit could go smoothly and without any risk of being caught. Burt was at work and Kurt had slyly convinced Finn to go to the garage as well to earn some money, while Carole was out shopping with a friend for the day.

"Did you want to stay up here or go downstairs when she gets here?" Kurt asked.

Blaine looked around the attic at his few belongings balanced on top of boxes and wooden crates, at the bowl and water bottle he used as a sink, at the small stash of food Kurt had given him in case he was hungry when Kurt couldn't bring food up to him, at the blankets and pillows making-up his bed lying on the floor.

"Can we go down to your room?" He didn't want Rachel to see all of this, the evidence of his quality of life and his reliance on Kurt to survive. He didn't think he could take the strain of seeing that extra pity in her eyes and her reluctance to treat him as normal on top of his fear.

"Of course we can," Kurt said with a smile. "We can go wherever you're most comfortable."

Forcing another forkful of breakfast into his mouth, Blaine tried to calm down and return the smile. Sitting in Kurt's room surrounded by all of Kurt's familiar belongings and his comforting scent would be where he felt most comfortable.

They finished breakfast in silence. Kurt looked up several times looking like he wanted to say something, but always changed his mind and lowered his gaze to his plate again. Blaine robotically continued to eat but the food he usually loved was nothing but flavourless mush in his mouth and kept catching in his throat when he tried to swallow. Even though it was a great effort, he finished all of his breakfast; the habit of never wasting any food was deeply ingrained in him from months of having very little to eat, hardly enough to survive. Kurt ate everything as well, though Blaine could tell by his tight, pale face, worried glances, and the amount of time he spent picking at his pancakes with his fork that he didn't really want to, but Blaine knew he was uncomfortable leaving food on his plate ever since meeting him.

When Kurt glanced at his phone and turned to face Blaine with a look that clearly said ‘it's time,' Blaine automatically stood up, his heart hammering and his hands shaking. He swallowed thickly as Kurt picked up the tray and headed for the stairs; he would have offered to carry the tray himself if he hadn't known he would have dropped it in his sweaty, trembling hands.

Once they were out in the hallway, Kurt balanced the tray in one hand and took Blaine's hand in the other, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Blaine returned the pressure, trying to gain some courage from the other boy. Kurt led the way into his bedroom, dumping the tray on his dresser and tugging Blaine towards the bed where they sat down. Blaine was glad to be off his feet before his knees buckled.

Now that they were in Kurt's room he could watch the time until Rachel's arrival draw closer and he found himself unable to look away from the clock on Kurt's nightstand, his eyes following the second hand ticking away the remaining time in which Kurt was the only person in his life.

"Blaine," Kurt said gently. Blaine turned away from the clock to look at him with frantic eyes. "It's going to be fine, you are the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful guy I've ever met; Rachel will like you and she won't make any assumptions or judge you in any way, I promise." He brushed back a few messy curls that were sticking up on the top of Blaine's head. He lightly caressed Blaine's jaw just as the doorbell rang, smoothing Blaine's cheek with his thumb when he jumped at the sound, his eyes widening. "No matter what happens I'll still be here with you," Kurt assured him softly, before giving Blaine's hand one last squeeze and getting to his feet. "I'll be right back," he added on his way to the door.

Lacing his quivering hands together, Blaine listened carefully to the sounds of Kurt's footsteps heading down the hall, followed by the fainter sound of him descending the stairs. A part of him wanted to go over to the doorway or out into the hall to try and listen to what Rachel and Kurt were saying, but he had never been one to eavesdrop and he didn't think he could have made his legs work even if he had wanted to. He strained his ears, but he couldn't hear anything now except for the clock - ticking away the time until Rachel came upstairs, until he learned to trust someone other than Kurt.

His pulse was pounding so loudly in his ears and his stomach was churning and twisting so much that he almost missed the sounds of approaching footsteps and the low murmur of voices accompanying them. Fighting the urge to run, Blaine took a deep breath and made an effort to sit up straighter and control the trembling in his hands. The voices out in the hall had stopped and the footsteps were louder. Blaine stared at the doorway, awaiting the appearance of Kurt and Rachel. The footsteps were just outside the door, sweat was gathering on the creases of his palms, air was caught in his lungs, and he was hyper aware of every little thing around him: the sound of two pairs of feet on the carpet, the erratic thumping of his heart, the faint sound of a neighbour's dog barking, the ticking of the clock...

Kurt stepped into the room, his eyes filled with apprehension and desperate hope. Trailing behind him was a short girl with long, dark hair held back from her face by a headband. She wore a skirt, knee socks, and a sweater with a kitten on it. When she first entered the room she looked both curious and concerned, but as soon as her gaze landed on Blaine her face brightened into a friendly smile, though her eyes still betrayed her true emotions.

"Hi," she greeted him, looking a little unsure what to say. "I'm Rachel Berry, and you must be Blaine." She shot a nervous look at Kurt, who had just sat down next to Blaine. "Kurt told me a bit about you yesterday."

Out the corner of his eye, Blaine saw Kurt frown and shake his head slightly at Rachel and she bit her lip, her eyes flicking between Kurt and Blaine as she hovered uncertainly a few feet away from the bed.

Blaine cleared his throat. "Hi," he replied in a voice that still wavered slightly despite his best efforts to sound more confident than he felt.

An awkward silence followed this and he caught a glimpse of Kurt mouthing something at Rachel before he spoke for the first time since entering the room. "Rachel is the one I've told you about before," he told Blaine in a voice that contained no hints of worry or showed any signs that this was anything other than a typical first meeting between two people he was friends with. "The one who is determined to be a star one day and tries to hog all of the solos in Glee club."

Rachel sniffed. "Mr. Schue gives solos to whoever is best and it's not my fault if that's me." She tugged the chair out from behind Kurt's desk and sat down. "Do you sing, Blaine?" she asked, the uncertainty starting to fade from her expression.

Though Blaine was feeling some of his nerves ebb away at the normalcy of the conversation - no mention of his past or his living situation yet - he still hesitated before answering. He had always loved singing, but his love for it had once caused trouble for him both at school and at home until it got to the stage where he kept his passion to himself and only ever sang when he knew the house was empty. Kurt's shoulder brushed his and his hesitation faded; nobody was going to torment him here and Rachel and Kurt both loved to sing as well; he wasn't alone.

"I- I love singing," he replied, forcing himself to look at Rachel as he spoke and not duck his head and mumble like he wanted to. "I have for as long as I can remember; music is my greatest passion." Kurt pressed his arm against his and he felt the knots in his stomach loosen further. "I've been playing piano and guitar since I was a kid as well."

He felt Kurt shift next to him and he looked over at his friend.

"I never knew that," Kurt said, smiling at Blaine. "If I'd known you played piano I would have shown you the old one we have downstairs."

Rachel leaned forward in her chair until her elbows were resting on her knees. "You should join Glee club with us!" she said enthusiastically, the knowledge of Blaine's situation apparently disappearing from her mind in her excitement. "Kurt mentioned you were doing home-schooling, so when you start school you can join; we're always looking for strong male leads."

Taken aback at what she was suggesting, Blaine turned to look at Kurt, appealing to him for help.

Kurt was staring at Rachel with his lips parted and his eyebrows drawn together slightly in disbelief. "Rachel," he reprimanded. "I think you're jumping ahead of things a bit."

Blinking, Rachel glanced over at Kurt and opened her mouth, clearly about to say something in defence of her words, but then she noticed the glare Kurt was sending her way and Blaine's wide eyes flicking between her and Kurt. "I- Sorry." She looked over at Blaine. "Sorry, I tend to get a bit carried away when it comes to things like that." She bit her lip, looking appropriately abashed.

Another awkward silence followed and Blaine shifted on the bed, lifting his chin so that he was looking directly at Rachel. If he wanted to do this, to get out of this untrusting, uncertain state of mind that he had been stuck in for over a year, he needed to make an effort as well, he needed to take a deep breath and make the leap because he could do it.

"I- I heard you were applying for NYADA," he said, even managing to smile at Rachel.

Rachel brightened again, a smile spreading across her face and her eyes lighting up. "I am! It's been my dream for as long as I can remember to become a Broadway actress and NYADA is the best pathway to getting there. Plus, I love New York, it's just my city, you know?"

Nodding, Blaine felt the smile on his face become less fixed and more natural as he talked to Rachel about New York, recalling how he had gone there as a child and had loved the constant thrum of life and excitement. As he and Rachel exchanged opinions and stories about New York, he felt Kurt's arm - which was still pressed against his own - relax and he glanced over at him to find Kurt watching him with a wide smile.

Rachel noticed the look they exchanged. "Kurt's coming to New York with me," she announced.

"He is?" Blaine shot Rachel a surprised look - Kurt had never told him that, but then again, they had never really discussed his future, just Blaine's. He turned back to face Kurt. "You are?"

It wasn't that he was hurt that Kurt had never told him - there was never really an opportunity for him to do so - or that he was going, he was just caught off guard. He had never really given any thought to Kurt's future after high school, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised that he wanted to leave Ohio or that New York was where he had his heart set on going. Kurt was bright, energetic, hard-working, compassionate, and talented; any college would love to have him, but Blaine knew Kurt had big dreams, ones far beyond the scope of a small town like Lima, and a city like New York was bound to be attractive to him. Plus it was somewhere that being different was celebrated, not here where it got you beaten up or tossed in a dumpster.

For some reason Kurt looked almost as shocked as Blaine had at the news, as if his post-high school plans had been forgotten in the wake of everything that had happened recently and the reminder from Rachel had shaken what had been set firm in his mind. "Yeah, I am," he replied, sounding a little dazed.

Firmly pushing away the knowledge that this meant Kurt would be leaving him, Blaine asked, "Are you applying for NYADA as well?"

Kurt shook his head. "I thought about it, but I decided fashion was more my calling and I'm applying to Parsons and the Fashion Institute of Technology." He was speaking hollowly and his eyes were still wide and a little distant, as if he was paying more attention to his own thoughts than to what he was actually saying.

Rachel appeared not to notice Kurt's strange reaction. "It's going to be great!" she enthused, bouncing on her chair slightly in her excitement. "We'll get an apartment somewhere, go see a musical at least once a month, flirt with cute guys in little coffee shops-" Kurt stiffened at this but she continued speaking, completely oblivious- "and go for walks around Central Park on the weekends." Her eyes - sparkling with her big dreams and visions of life in New York - landed on Blaine. "Where are you planning on going after graduation?" she asked him.

This was something else Blaine hadn't given much thought to, at least not recently. Despite once again having the ability to graduate and go to college, he still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He hadn't given it any serious thought since before he ran away from home and everything in his life had changed drastically since then, from his personality to his outlook on life, and his old wonderings of maybe studying music or acting seemed like something he had dreamed of in a past life, which, in a way, it was.

"I'm not sure," he admitted truthfully. "I haven't given much thought to that sort of thing since I left home. I didn't think it would ever be possible for me to go to college anymore."

The light in Rachel's eyes dimmed slightly, dampened by a reminder of the reality of Blaine's situation. Blaine didn't look at Kurt; he didn't want to see what his reaction to this was. Kurt had given him the potential to live his life again and follow his dreams, but his dreams had vanished long ago and he was so used to just living day by day, to not thinking about the next or any other time in the future, that he no longer knew what to do now that he didn't have to do that anymore.

"In the past I thought about maybe studying music or theatre or teaching, but now I have no idea." He paused and lifted his shoulders in a small, helpless shrug. "I just don't know."

Rachel smiled encouragingly at him. "Well, you still have plenty of time to decide and once you start getting back into the swing of school you'll probably realise where you want to go with your life. Lots of people don't know what they want to do at the beginning of senior year."

Nodding, Blaine managed a smile. Rachel was right; he had some time. He still wasn't completely convinced that he would be able to set out his future before college application deadlines came around, but he had time and that could change everything.

 


 

"I think that went well," Rachel said brightly as Kurt saw her out to her car. "It wasn't anywhere near as bad as you were making it out to be."

Kurt was too relieved at how quickly Blaine had relaxed and started to make conversation around Rachel to be irritated by her comment. "I didn't know how he would react, so I had to warn you," he informed her.

Rachel had stayed for over two hours in total, an hour longer than Kurt had told her to stay for, but she and Blaine had got along better than he had anticipated they would. After the initial awkwardness had dissipated the three of them had talked nonstop, steering clear of any topics that may potentially upset Blaine and sticking to safe subjects like music, Broadway, and fashion - an enjoyable conversation that consisted mostly of Blaine and Kurt strongly disagreeing with every defence Rachel made against articles of clothing she owned. As it turned out, though Blaine didn't have much to wear at the moment, he had an interest in fashion and read Vogue at any opportunity he got.

About five minutes ago Rachel had announced that she was spending the afternoon with her dads and had to leave and Kurt had offered to see her out, leaving Blaine making lunch in the kitchen - something he had been wanting to do for a while now. The second he and Rachel had left Blaine pulling ingredients out of the fridge and cupboards, Kurt had let out the last of the tension that had been slowly fading the longer Blaine spent in Rachel's presence. He was now almost giddy with relief and happiness at how well the morning had gone and though he knew Blaine wasn't quite ready to meet his family, it wouldn't be long before he would be.

Leaning against the side of Rachel's car, Kurt smiled at his friend as she opened the door. "Are you ok to come over again soon?" he asked her. "I think Blaine should spend a bit more time with you before he meets my family." He paused for a second. "Maybe he could meet Mercedes next time as well," he added contemplatively, more thinking aloud than asking for Rachel's opinion on the matter.

Rachel tossed her purse into the passenger seat before turning back to face Kurt. "Of course," she agreed. "But you really need to tell your family soon; you can't keep holding off something like this," she added, her tone and expression becoming serious.

"I'll tell them as soon as Blaine is ready; I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone until then," he replied.

Rachel frowned. "Don't you think telling your family something as big as this is more important than your promise to Blaine? Especially since he is improving." She folded her arms across her chest and held herself taller, obviously predicting Kurt to have an angry outburst and preparing herself for it. "They have another person living in their house that they don't have a clue about."

Kurt's earlier inability to get annoyed at Rachel started to ebb away. "I can't just break my promise to him!" he told her, scandalised. "You didn't see how terrified he was when I met him; you didn't hear how desperate he sounded when he asked me not to tell anyone! You've known him for two hours, you can't tell me that waiting a little longer is wrong and not the best thing for Blaine."

"But that's the problem," Rachel insisted, looking imploringly at Kurt, "you're only thinking of what is best for Blaine, not for anyone else involved in this, which includes your family even though they don't know he exists. You've only been thinking about what's best for Blaine since you met him."

Kurt straightened up so he was no longer leaning against the car, anger and frustration starting to flare up inside him. "Because he's a homeless, emotionally scarred seventeen-year-old who had to run away from home to live in constant fear because he was being abused and effectively has no family or anyone who cares about him but me!" he reminded her, his voice rising as his anger mounted. "Of course I have to think about what's best for him when he's been through all of that shit! It took me weeks to gain his trust, I'm not going to throw it all away and hurt him again! Do you know what effect that could have on him?" He shook his head at Rachel; he couldn't believe what she was suggesting.

"Kurt-" Rachel began, uncrossing her arms and reaching out a hand in placation.

Kurt stepped backwards out of her reach. "I'll tell my family as soon as Blaine is ready for me to do so; it won't affect them any if they don't know about him for a little while longer, but it will deeply affect Blaine if they find out too soon," he told her firmly. "Don't you dare tell anyone about him, Rachel," he warned her in a hard voice.

"Of course I won't," she promised quickly. She moved away from her car and started towards Kurt. "But, Kurt-"

Kurt just shook his head at her and slowly began backing away towards the front door of his house. "Just drop it, ok?" he pleaded. He glanced over his shoulder at the house. "I'd better go back in before Blaine starts wondering where I've gone. You'd better go; your dads will be waiting for you."

For a few seconds Rachel didn't move, looking like she wanted to say something but was unable to find the right words. "Text me when you want me to come over again," she said instead, stepping back over to her car. "I'll see you later."

Kurt nodded and watched as she climbed into her car, reversed out the driveway, and left, giving him a quick wave before she drove off. He stood for a moment after she had disappeared from sight and stared out along the deserted road.

Another reason he wanted to put off telling his family about Blaine was his fear of what their reaction would be. What if they didn't see him the same way he did? What if, instead of the sweet, intelligent boy, they saw Blaine as some sort of criminal who should be thrown out on the streets or taken away to a reform school or something? What if they said he couldn't stay with them anymore or demanded he be taken away by the police or sent back to his parents? Kurt didn't think he could handle it if they reacted like that. He couldn't abandon Blaine now or stand by and watch him be thrown out of the house or sent back to his parents. And then there was the selfish reason behind him wanting Blaine to stay: if he was forced to leave, Kurt may never see him again and he didn't want Blaine to leave his life; he didn't think he ever would.

He pushed down those disturbing thoughts and stomach-churning worries as he went back inside and headed through to the kitchen, where he could hear Blaine humming softly under his breath. The last of his anxieties loosened their vice-grip on his stomach at the sight that greeted him when he reached the kitchen doorway. Leaning against the doorframe, he smiled softly as he paused to watch for a moment.

Blaine was moving around the kitchen with the comfortable ease of someone in their own home, switching between adding some ingredients to a large bowl and washing up a few dishes in the sink. He had a relaxed smile on his face and was happily humming a tune that Kurt didn't recognise as he worked. He looked so peaceful and happy and right here in the kitchen that it made Kurt's heart swell. He would fight to keep this boy living here; he would fight to keep him in his life.

He must have made some noise, or Blaine sensed his presence somehow, because the shorter boy suddenly looked up from the bowl that was sitting on the counter next to two plates. "I made a chicken salad," he announced. "I hope that's ok."

Unhitching himself from the doorframe, Kurt crossed the room to join him. "It's perfect," he assured him, peering curiously into the bowl of salad when he reached Blaine's side. "And if it tastes as good as it looks I'll let you do some more of the cooking in the future."

Blaine bumped him with his hip before serving up portions of the salad onto both of their plates.

"I'll get the drinks," Kurt said, heading to the cupboard to pull out a couple of glasses before going to fetch some iced tea from the fridge.

Over lunch Blaine shared his opinion on Rachel - "She's sweet, but I can see why you rarely win fights over solos; I've never met someone that competitive and confident in their own ability" - and they chatted and laughed about things they had talked about with Rachel and Kurt forgot about Blaine's past and that he lived in secret up in the attic; it felt like Blaine was just another one of his close friends he went to school with.

Friends.

Kurt felt his joy and happiness slip and he had to drop his gaze down to his plate so Blaine wouldn't see the emotions probably displayed clearly in his eyes, and he concentrated on keeping his features schooled in the same easy, relaxed expression.

He had been trying to just let Blaine have some time and space while he went through the emotional and difficult process of leaving the attic for good, but when moments like these happened, moments where Blaine was so painfully just his friend, he could do nothing to stop all the worries and insecurities from rushing to the forefront of his mind.

He had never considered himself to be particularly desirable, nor could he imagine anyone wistfully wishing that they could date him and he couldn't stop the heart-sinking feeling that Blaine had only kissed him because he was the first person who had cared about him and been his friend in years. He couldn't take it much longer; it was torture being around Blaine and behaving as if nothing had happened between them when he could still vividly remember the feel of Blaine's lips moving against his and the taste of him on his tongue.

He glanced up at Blaine and the other boy smiled at him as he lifted his glass of iced tea, his warm, almost golden hazel eyes crinkling at the corners. Kurt couldn't stand this any longer; they needed to talk about it.

"Blaine," he began nervously, dropping his gaze back to the table when Blaine looked at him curiously. "I- Can we-" He huffed out a sigh of frustration at his own incapability to just get the question out that had been eating away at him for days now.

Blaine had set his glass back down on the table and was watching Kurt with hints of concern and worry flickering in his eyes.

"Can we talk about the other night?" Kurt asked, twisting his hands in his lap.

When a few seconds passed with no response, Kurt chanced a peek at Blaine, scared at what he might find.

Blaine was staring at him with his lips parted as if he was about to say something and his expression was difficult to read. When he caught sight of Kurt's fleeting glance, he stuttered, "I-"

"Why did you kiss me?" Kurt blurted out, no longer able to tiptoe around the issue. "Was it just because I'm your first friend since Eric? Because of everything I've done for you since we met? You'd feel guilty turning me down?" He was looking at Blaine now, watching the colour drain from his face and his eyes tighten as multiple emotions showed in them. "I know I'm not exactly desirable or anything, so I'll understand if you only think of me as a friend and nothing has to change between us, but I just need to know." He fought down the emotions threatening to spill out in tears and inhaled as deeply as he could.

"It's none of that," Blaine told him quietly, looking pained. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let you go days thinking like that, but I can assure you that you are not undesirable at all, so please don't ever think that way about yourself." Blaine slumped in his chair, passing a hand over his eyes and running it through his hair. "I shouldn't have kissed you that night," he said after a moment, sounding as if the words were being wrenched from him.

Kurt felt like every organ in his body had suddenly dropped out of him, leaving him echoingly empty. Blaine's words kept repeating over and over inside his head, each individual word stabbing sharply at his heart until his pulse sounded weirdly distorted to his ears. He couldn't move or speak, could do nothing but stare across the table at Blaine as short breaths continued to drag in and out of his lungs with deep, heavy pains in his chest.

Blaine looked to be in as much distress as Kurt was, though Kurt couldn't imagine why; it wasn't his heart that was being shattered or his hopes that were being crushed.

"I don't deserve you, Kurt," Blaine continued and Kurt snapped his gaze up to look at him, the air freezing in his lungs. "You're an extraordinary person with such a big heart and an amazing, bright future ahead of you that some people could only dream of having; you deserve someone better, you shouldn't be weighed down with all of my baggage." Blaine swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling raggedly through his mouth. When he opened his eyes again they were reddening and filling with tears. "You're so beautiful, Kurt," he whispered, his words catching a little in his choked throat, "both inside and out and you could do so much better than me."

Kurt's heart was no longer being pierced by Blaine's words and instead was aching at what Blaine had just confessed, at the fact that he thought he was so damaged by his past that he wasn't worthy of Kurt. He wanted to say something to let Blaine know just how wonderful he was and how he was not in the slightest bit undeserving of Kurt's affection, but he couldn't find the words. In the end it all boiled down to one simple thing.

"I don't want anyone else but you," he said numbly. "I want you and everything that comes with you, no matter if it's good or bad. I lo-" He changed his words mid-sentence. "I only want you, Blaine," he repeated instead, his voice thick with emotion as he desperately hoped Blaine understood what he meant to him, every fibre of his being waiting on tenterhooks for Blaine's response and willing for this to go right.

Blaine was biting down on his bottom lip as he gazed at Kurt, a spark of something that Kurt had seen a few times before flaring up in his eyes, the something that made his heart take off in a whole new rhythm and his veins thrum with tingling electricity. Blaine wet his lips. "Kurt," he began softly, "I-"

Kurt could see in his eyes what he wanted as clearly as if it was written out in words, and he could feel it in the air between them - a kind of tension that he didn't think he could ever describe. "You can kiss me," he breathed.

Blaine's eyes darkened further and he moved from his chair into the one next to Kurt, his eyes never leaving Kurt's. He swallowed audibly as he raised an ever so slightly trembling hand to softly cup Kurt's face. His eyes held a hint of wonder as he stroked his thumb along Kurt's cheekbone and Kurt allowed his eyes to flutter shut as Blaine leant in closer. There was a brief moment where their breaths intermingled between them, brushing over the other's lips in gentle, warm caresses, and then Blaine's lips were on his in a soft kiss that started hesitant, before becoming more forceful as Blaine gained confidence and parted Kurt's lips with his own.

Inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of Blaine through his nose, Kurt tentatively ran his tongue along Blaine's bottom lip before dipping it inside Blaine's mouth, his uncertainty over if he was doing it right - he had never kissed anyone like this before - disappearing as Blaine made a soft noise and kissed him harder, his hand slipping back so he could trail his fingers through the hair at the back of Kurt's neck, making his skin tingle.

Like the last time they'd kissed, they lingered only inches away from each other after they broke apart, though this time Blaine moved back enough to meet Kurt's gaze.

"I don't want anyone else but you either," he whispered, looking at him in a way that Kurt had never experienced before; it felt like Blaine was staring straight into his soul. "I never thought I'd ever feel this way, I thought I'd only ever experience this through books and my imagination, but you make me feel all of that and so much more. You make me feel happy and brave and strong - things I hadn't felt in years before I met you."

He was no longer whispering, but speaking strongly and clearly, his gaze still holding Kurt's and his hand still resting on Kurt's shoulder, his thumb making repetitive sweeping arcs over the skin where Kurt's collarbone met his neck. "You're in my heart, Kurt and that wouldn't be any different if we had met under more normal circumstances."

Kurt didn't say anything to this and he didn't need to because when he leaned forward to capture Blaine's lips again in a passionate kiss, he knew Blaine understood everything he felt.

 


 

Tugging his blankets up until they were under his nose and wrapping them tighter around him in a valiant effort to block any of the cold air from reaching him, Blaine curled up into a smaller ball in his bed. He hated nights like this where the temperature suddenly plummeted to below freezing and he would put on almost every article of clothing he owned before climbing into his chilly bed, yet he was still shivering. He knew his bed would warm up eventually, but that knowledge did little to lift his mood. His only source of warmth was the memories of that day. Kurt's earlier admission and the kisses they shared afterward kept replaying in his head and were what was keeping a smile on his face even as shivers continued to shake his body.

Burying his head deeper into his pillow and pulling the blankets up even higher until they covered his ears, he allowed himself to sink into another fantasy of Kurt as he waited for his bed to warm up and his shivers to ease so he could fall asleep.

A flashlight was suddenly clicked on and shone in his face. "Blaine," Kurt's voice said. "Oh, sorry," he added, directing his flashlight at the floor when he spotted Blaine shutting his eyes, screwing up his face and turning away from the bright light.

"What are you doing up here?" Blaine asked, still seeing the bright starbursts of light behind his closed eyelids.

"Coming to bring you downstairs," Kurt replied. "It's freezing; there's no way I'm letting you sleep up here."

The bright spots of light having finally disappeared, Blaine opened his eyes and struggled with the tangle of blankets wrapped around him to sit up. "But where-" he began, but was cut off by Kurt.

"You can share my bed, we've slept together before." Kurt froze in the midst of tugging Blaine's blankets off him, his cheeks turning pink as he realised what he'd just said. "Not like that, but we shared a bed and-"

Pushing the blankets the rest of the way off him, Blaine laid a hand on Kurt's arm, though he couldn't help grinning at the other boy getting flustered. "Kurt, it's fine, I know what you meant." He shivered as the cold air cut through his layers of clothing.

Kurt still looked a little flushed. "Right," he muttered distractedly. He folded his arms across his chest and shivered a little in his thin pyjama shirt. "Hurry up," he moaned as Blaine pushed his blankets neatly back into place. He grabbed Blaine's hand and tugged him across the attic and down the stairs, opening the door out into the hall quietly.

The hall was gloriously warm compared to the attic and Blaine sighed contently as his shivers eased up. He followed Kurt through to his bedroom, fumbling with the hem of his outermost sweater and pulling it over his head before setting it down on top of Kurt's dresser - he wouldn't need as many layers here.

Kurt was already crawling into his bed by the time Blaine reached it and he stood awkwardly at the side, watching as Kurt laid down. They may have shared a bed once before, but that was before they had kissed and he felt a bit shy and uncertain about being in bed beside Kurt.

Kurt, now settled under the covers and lying on his side, smiled encouragingly at him and flipped the covers back beside him on Blaine's side of the bed. "Come here," he murmured, holding out a hand.

Swallowing, Blaine stepped closer to the bed and clambered inelegantly onto it, taking the hand Kurt offered him. Kurt kept hold of his hand as he laid down facing Kurt and tugged the thick, comforting blanket over him. They gazed at each other silently for a moment and Blaine could see the rapid beat of Kurt's pulse at his neck and the slight tremble of his lips as he licked them, which showed that Kurt was just as nervous about this as he was.

The knowledge of that was calming somehow and it gave Blaine the courage to slide closer to Kurt and gently brush back a lock of hair that had fallen over his forehead. "Is this ok?" he asked in a low murmur as he lowered his hand from Kurt's hair to rest on his ribs.

Kurt nodded, his eyes still focused on Blaine's as the combined heat from their bodies quickly warmed the bed. Blaine's eyes slipped closed of their own will when Kurt tenderly smoothed the length of his cheekbone with his thumb.

"Goodnight, Blaine," he murmured.

Sliding his hand a little further round Kurt's ribs until his arm was curled partway around his back, Blaine said drowsily, "Night, Kurt."

There was the soft press of lips to his cheek just by his eye and then he was asleep.

 

 

 

End Notes: Thank you for reading and for all of the reviews!

Comments

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Hmmm Rachel... Why am I concerned about her!? Otherwise I love that the boys kissed and have a better understanding of what they are to each other especially after Rachel's talk about them moving to NY.

so excited theyre starting to have a romance!! unfortunately im about to pass out so ill have to wait till tomorrow to continue. =/ cant wait!!