Sept. 10, 2013, 9:29 a.m.
23: Chapter 7
M - Words: 4,265 - Last Updated: Sep 10, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: May 27, 2013 - Updated: Sep 10, 2013 145 0 0 0 0
Though the conversation had ended hours ago and despite Blaine saying he didn't want to learn about his future, Kurt couldn't stop thinking about it as he lay in bed that night. Now that the subject had been brought up he kept imagining all the different possibilities for Blaine's future, both the good and the bad. He was relieved Blaine didn't want to know about the rest of his life, if only for his own selfish reasons. He didn't think he could bear it if he knew Blaine had an unhappy life ahead of him, because there was every chance this could be the case. Blaine had been unhappy before he travelled to Kurt's time, disease was more common in the twenties with medicine being less advanced, and another war was on the horizon, one in which Blaine may be required to fight. The very thought was enough to make Kurt feel sick.
Of course, Blaine equally may have a bright, happy future ahead of him, but Kurt's mind kept circling back to the negatives and these thoughts lingered in his head like some slow-acting poison sending despair trickling through his veins. There was no way of knowing for sure unless they actually looked into things which neither he nor Blaine wanted.
Call him selfish or a coward but he would rather not know what happened in Blaine's life when he returned to his own time.
With a groan of frustration, Kurt rolled over and punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and tried to let sleep engulf him. But as comfortable as he was and despite tiredness prickling in his eyes, he couldn't fall asleep. The one thing he'd never been able to do was switch his mind off, it was one of the reasons he could be found awake and sketching out new designs at two in the morning, and now he was stuck with his own thoughts until his mind exhausted itself enough to sleep.
Kurt got up the next morning feeling unrested. He sighed as he noticed the puffy bags under his eyes and dabbed some cream on them in the hopes they would disappear before he had to leave for work. To his surprise he found Blaine struggling with the toaster when he went through to the kitchen. He smiled fondly as Blaine fumbled with the buttons on top of the toaster.
"Here," he said, stepping in and pressing the right button so that the bread began to toast.
Blaine shot him a grateful smile. "Thank you. I wanted to make you breakfast, but I guess I haven't got the hang of this modern technology yet."
Kurt blinked at him. "You're making breakfast?"
Blaine nodded, peering at the toaster for a moment before picking up a knife and chopping the bananas on the board in front of him. "I thought it would be a nice change for you instead of having to grab something quick before you leave." He looked rather pleased with himself as he placed the chopped fruit on a plate.
"Oh, thank you." Kurt stood back to let Blaine finish preparing their meal, trying not to watch the way the muscles in his arms flexed.
He hadn't had someone make him breakfast like this in months, not since the very early days of moving in with Liam, and it was nice. His fingers itched to do something to help out, especially when Blaine fought with some of the appliances, but he could tell how much Blaine wanted to do this by himself so he took a seat at the table and let himself be waited on.
"Breakfast is served." Blaine placed a plate in front of Kurt with a flourish.
He looked so pleased with himself, a small smile on his face and eyes bright as he watched Kurt eat his breakfast from under his lashes; Kurt's heart warmed at the sight.
Blaine had been doing more chores and little things like helping make meals lately as his way of helping to repay Kurt for letting him stay, but this was the first time he'd gotten up early to make breakfast.
"You didn't have to do this," Kurt said, stabbing a strawberry half with his fork.
Blaine swallowed. "I wanted to," he said simply. "And, Kurt, you know I feel bad staying here without paying you or anything. I don't have the money to pay you, so I want to help out; I want to do some of the cooking." He lowered his gaze to his plate again. "Besides, I like cooking for you."
Kurt watched Blaine push the last few pieces of fruit around on his plate, lost for words. Blaine was just so sweet and Kurt was finding it harder and harder to look past his compliments, bashful smiles, and endearing actions. Since Blaine had told him his story Kurt had been determined to keep his mind strictly on the friendship track when he was around him, but he honestly wasn't sure how much longer he could keep everything he was feeling bottled up inside him, especially with the memories of their two dates and near-kiss haunting him.
Still at a loss of what to really say, Kurt eventually smiled and just thanked Blaine again, before quickly eating the last few bites of his breakfast and getting to his feet.
"I'd better get going," he said, glancing at the kitchen clock on his way to dump his plate in the sink. "You going to do some more research?"
On the days when Kurt had work Blaine had been continuing to do research on time travel. He had grasped the concepts of the internet and often spent the day in the apartment searching through endless articles and webpages. He'd also visited a local library once or twice, flicking through books on current scientific research and experimentation, and on anything about time travel. With it being a subject mostly considered fictitious, he'd made little progress, but they both kept reminding themselves that Blaine had gotten here somehow and the information had to be out there somewhere; they just had to keep looking.
Every day Kurt returned home from work feeling half-hopeful Blaine had found a new lead and half-worried he was a step closer to returning home. He was always guiltily relieved when Blaine would shake his head and tell him he'd found nothing, torn between wanting his friend to be able to return home to his family and selfishly wishing the man he was becoming increasingly fond of would remain here with him.
Scooping up his brown leather satchel, Kurt watched Blaine gather up his dirty dishes, turning over an idea contemplatively in his mind. "How about we get lunch together today?" he suggested. He mentally ran through his schedule for the day and nodded to himself - he'd have time to go to a nearby café. "There's a nice little café not far from my work; we could meet there at one. Give you a break from all your research."
Blaine had frozen halfway between the table and the sink, his eyes lit up at Kurt's suggestion in a way Kurt tried not to think about too much. A smile tugged at the corners of Blaine's mouth.
"That sounds swell, Kurt. I'd love to," he said enthusiastically.
Smiling brightly, Kurt hitched the strap of his satchel up his shoulder. "Great!" He quickly gave Blaine the café's name and address, hoping there were no delays on the subway to make him late. "I'll see you at one!" he called over his shoulder as he neared the front door.
"Have a nice day, Kurt!" he heard Blaine reply.
A gentle warmth washed through Kurt's body as he left the apartment and headed for the elevator. He hadn't had someone wish him a nice day in years: Rachel was either already up and away or asleep and Liam had always been still asleep when he'd been leaving for the day. He could get used to hearing Blaine say it every morning.
He spent the morning counting down the hours until his lunch break. It was ridiculous and irrational that he should be yearning to see Blaine again after only a few hours apart, but the desire filled him as the morning went by and it was with an excited eagerness that he left for the café just before one o'clock. His heart soared and a smile bloomed on his face when he spotted Blaine leaning against the wall by the café's doors, looking far too handsome in his sweater and bowtie.
"Hey, you," Kurt greeted him when he was within earshot. He stopped a foot or so away from Blaine, struggling with the sudden, strong desire to hug him.
If Blaine noticed the awkwardness beginning to creep into the air, he didn't show it. His eyes crinkled up in Kurt's favourite bright smile of his. "Good afternoon. How was your morning?"
"Busy," Kurt replied as he and Blaine entered the café, the delicious scent of coffee and freshly-baked bread hitting him when Blaine held the door open. "We're right in the middle of finalising all the designs for the spring collection and after the success of the year's collections so far my boss is nit-picking over the tiniest of details." He ran his eyes contemplatively over the menu on the wall behind the counter. "It's a relief to get away from it all for lunch, actually."
Blaine had been watching him as he spoke, but he now turned to examine the menu as well. "It sounds stressful."
Kurt hummed in agreement. "It is, but I'm more than used to it. Once you learn to prioritise, multi-task, and the art of shutting yourself off to the chaos around you while you work on designs it's bearable."
They shuffled further along the counter towards the registers with the rest of the line, still gazing up at the menu.
"Have you decided what you want yet?" Kurt asked as they neared the front of the line.
Blaine nodded. "I think I'm just going to get a sandwich."
Kurt glanced at him briefly. "Do you want coffee as well?"
"No, thank you. I'll just have some water."
Kurt's eyes narrowed at Blaine's swift refusal. "You don't have to have the cheapest thing on the menu, you know."
Blaine turned away from the menu to look back at Kurt with wide eyes. "I'm not-"
"Blaine, the little money you have left is useless here; if I hadn't given you a room and wasn't paying for your meals you'd be starving on the streets," Kurt pointed out gently. Blaine lowered his gaze to the floor. Kurt placed a hand under his chin and tilted his head back up again so their eyes met; Blaine's were full of shame. "But it's ok. I want to help you and it's not causing any harm to me to do so." He removed his hand from Blaine's chin and rested it on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "You're my friend and I'm only doing what I'd do for any of my other friends: help them out during tough times. You're actually doing most of the chores and stuff; you've got me out of the rut I was stuck in of doing nothing but working and sleeping, so you don't need to feel guilty all the time."
Blaine bit his lip and nodded, moving forward with the line again as another customer was served and stepped away from the counter.
"And besides," Kurt added, glancing sideways at Blaine, "you made me breakfast this morning, so it's only fair I treat you to lunch." He grinned at Blaine as he stepped forward to place his order. He hoped Blaine now understood Kurt wasn't going out of his way to help him or that he should feel he owes Kurt for everything he was doing for him. He knew this wasn't easy for Blaine to accept, and he knew he would feel the same if he were in Blaine's position, but he just wanted Blaine to stop feeling so guilty and to stop holding back on what he really wanted because he felt bad about using Kurt's charity for it.
Scooping up the tray of his coffee and salad, Kurt scanned the busy café for a free table, gently nudging Blaine's side when he spotted one against the back wall that had just finished being cleaned.
"I'm gonna go grab us that table," he said, nodding his head in its direction. Blaine nodded in acknowledgement and Kurt wove his way through the tables and chairs to the free table, setting his tray down and dropping down into the chair with a contented sigh.
Blaine joined him moments later, carrying his lunch on another tray. "It sure is busy here," he observed as he sat down across from Kurt.
Kurt's eyes wandered around the crowded café, packed with people from the local businesses and friends out for lunch together. "There are lots of tower blocks full of office workers within walking distance of here," he replied. "Plus the food is really good."
Blaine grinned at him as he picked up his sandwich. "You've told me that at least twice now so I guess I'd better see for myself." He bit into his sandwich, holding Kurt's gaze as he chewed and swallowed.
Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly. "And what's the verdict?"
"Delicious," Blaine enthused, taking another bite. He swallowed. "You were right."
"Of course I was," Kurt said sassily with a teasing smile.
Blaine's eyes remained on him as he turned his attention to his salad and he felt the other man's gaze frequently return to him almost as if he found it impossible to not look at Kurt. And Kurt couldn't help but peek up at Blaine through his lashes or lift his gaze to meet Blaine's warm eyes, to return his soft smile with one of his own.
The conversation between them didn't falter once throughout the whole meal. For the first time since Blaine had moved in with Kurt they talked about the things they didn't know about each other, discussing childhood memories, phases they had gone through, and places they had visited. It all felt so much like a date, Kurt found it almost painful to sit across from Blaine and watch him talk enthusiastically about a symphony he'd once seen, waving his hands around more and more the deeper he got into the story; to see the way his hazel eyes lit up to a bright gold and his smile crinkle the skin at the corner of his eyes and not be able to reach over and take his hand or kiss him whenever the mood struck him. It was like a special form of torture to be able to see the light freckles dotted on Blaine's nose and not be able to kiss them when they wrinkled up in his laughter. And whenever Blaine told him another story or laughed at something he said, Kurt felt another dollop of something sweet and warm swirl into his belly, filling him with an adoring fondness for the curly-haired man, the kind that not only flowed through Kurt's veins, but penetrated his bones and soaked into his very being.
It was only when Blaine pulled out his pocket watch to check the time and another large dose of warmth flowed pleasantly into Kurt's belly did he realise what this all meant.
He was falling for Blaine. He had been falling for him slowly and steadily for days, but it was only now that he noticed the rush of air past him and the frantic, exhilarated beat of his heart. It was only now with his landing site in view that he realised he'd gone beyond the initial attraction and crush he'd had during their coffee mornings and few dates. Somewhere between then and now he'd tumbled off the cliff edge and was falling. It was terrifying and thrilling all at once. And though his head was reminding him Blaine would soon be gone from him for good and was advising him to catch himself before his fall ended and he hit the bottom, his heart was telling him to enjoy the fall and hold Blaine Anderson and never let him go.
With Rachel out for the evening performing in her show on Broadway, Blaine and Kurt were treated to an apartment to themselves for the first evening in several days. Before dinner they discussed the option of taking advantage of Rachel's absence and spending the evening going through all the information on time travel they had collected so far, but after lingering over their meal they both found themselves too full and drowsy to feel like doing anything other than lounging on the couch and watching a movie.
Blaine insisted Kurt choose the movie, pointing out that he knew next to nothing about movies and truly wouldn't know which one to choose, and they settled down on the couch to watch one of Kurt's favourites.
Blaine wasn't sure how long the movie had been playing for when he became aware he and Kurt were subconsciously moving closer together. During the opening scenes they had been sitting at nearly opposite ends of the three-seat couch but now there were only inches between them.
He honestly did not remember moving, and wondered if it was partly due to the slight chill in the air from the window someone had opened earlier and had forgotten to close, causing him to unconsciously seek Kurt's warmth, or if it was due in part to the magnetic pull that seemed to exist between himself and Kurt, drawing them close to each other whenever they were together. Whatever the reason behind it was, he couldn't move away without Kurt noticing; not that he wanted to.
Now that he was aware of how close he was to Kurt he couldn't help but watch the other man out the corner of his eye. He felt an inexplicable stomach-curling need as he watched the way the light from the TV screen accentuated the slight upturned curve of Kurt's nose, the angle of his cheekbones, and the plump bow of his lips; lips that had brushed his own in the fleetest of touches like the flutter of a butterfly's wings. The memory of that moment had been springing up in his mind more regularly recently and Blaine felt a mixture of longing and guilt whenever he relived it. He wanted more, wanted a proper kiss, not just a taste of one, but he had no idea if Kurt felt the same. After all, getting romantically involved with Kurt wasn't at all good idea.
Tearing his eyes away from Kurt's lips, he tried to focus on the movie again, though he'd missed a key scene while he'd been distracted by Kurt and was lost as to what was currently happening. How odd that even with something as extraordinary as a TV playing a movie in front of him, something he'd never seen before coming here and which he should be finding jaw-droppingly amazing, he would much rather look at the man sitting next to him. But then to Blaine Kurt was the most fascinating sight he'd seen in not only this era but his own time as well. He found Kurt constantly interesting and could watch him perform simple, mundane tasks, such as tying his shoe laces, for ages with a fond fascination. And Kurt was beautiful with his smooth, pale skin, sparkling blue eyes, and dimple-inducing smiles, and Blaine never tired of looking at the world's beauty.
Unable to help himself, he glanced over at Kurt again to find him watching him with a soft smile on his face. Their eyes met and something shifted in the air between them, a tangible tension hanging over them. Blaine's heart raced, his breath quickened, and their surroundings - the movie continuing to play in the background, the rumble of traffic drifting in through the open window, the flickering of a lamp in the corner - all fell away into nothingness as his world centred on Kurt. Every one of Blaine's senses became focused on Kurt: he was hyperaware of every tiny movement or sound he made: the slight twitch of his hand in his lap, the small hitch in his breathing when Blaine leaned closer, the dilating of his pupils. He could feel Kurt's breath on his cheek: warm, uneven puffs of air that sent micro-shivers down his spine.
The chill that had once been in the air dissipated and the heat began to near too much - how had Blaine never noticed the warmth radiating from Kurt's body, the heat that seeped into his knee where their legs touched?
Kurt's lips parted and his eyes flickered down to Blaine's mouth. Blaine couldn't think straight; his brain was a buzz of white noise, almost deafening under the loud thrumming of his pulse. It was only when Kurt's lips were inches from his own and his hand was resting on Blaine's thigh that the white noise warped into a thought that was crystal clear.
"I don't want to hurt you," Blaine breathed, surprising himself at not only his ability to talk but to voice his biggest fear as his brain short circuited from Kurt's closeness and his heart screamed at him to kiss the man he craved.
Kurt pulled back enough to stare at him, a flicker of rejection in his eyes.
"I don't want to walk out of your life and leave you broken-hearted and alone. I don't want to be another Liam," Blaine explained.
Kurt was still staring at him and Blaine's heart screamed at him to shut up and forget about all of this.
"Because I don't belong here, Kurt," Blaine continued. "Someday soon I'm going to go back to my own time and we're never going to be able to see each other again."
A rush of despair threatened to rear up inside Blaine, but he pushed it down forcibly; he wouldn't break down in front of Kurt.
"What if I don't care?" Kurt whispered. Blaine stared at him surprise: determination and resolve had hardened his eyes and set his jaw. "What if I no longer want to lock away my true feelings and avoid getting close to another guy for fear of getting hurt again? What if I'm sick of playing it safe and sticking to what I know? What if I want to start following my heart again?"
Blaine was rendered speechless. Kurt wanted to change the way he'd been living - keeping his heart close to his chest - for him. And if he'd heard correctly, he wanted to forget all about the obstacles, forget everything that was working against them, and have a romantic relationship. As much as Blaine wished he could let all his fears go, the thought of Liam and of Kurt being hurt again was gnawing at him.
"But I won't be staying here for long," he protested weakly, his voice strained.
Kurt said nothing at first, reaching for Blaine's hand and linking their fingers together instead. Blaine looked down at their joined hands and his stomach gave a funny squeeze at how good and right it looked: Kurt's long, pale fingers slotted between his own smaller, tanned ones.
"Blaine..."
Blaine lifted his head to find Kurt gazing at him. His steely determination was gone, replaced by a warm look of adoration that made Blaine's stomach flutter and his heart jolt.
"I know you can't stay here," Kurt continued, "but the pain when you leave will be heart-breaking whether we remain as friends or become something more, but you're worth the pain and I'd rather spend the time we have together being together than denying what we really feel."
Blaine didn't know what to say. Kurt's eyes were searching his, waiting for a response, but all Blaine could do was whisper Kurt's name on a soft exhale of breath.
"Kurt..."
It was enough. Whether it was the desperate longing in Blaine's eyes or the pure need and wonder in his voice when he'd said Kurt's name, Kurt was satisfied with this response and seemed to understand everything he was thinking about without him having to voice it. Kurt leaned back in and pressed his lips to Blaine's, softly at first, but then with more force when Blaine responded. Blaine inhaled deeply through his nose as Kurt's hand came up to rest on his cheek, cupping his face. Blaine leant into the touch, tilting his head to one side and deepening the kiss.
Whenever Blaine had thought and dreamt about his first kiss he'd imagined it would be short and shy and sweet, he didn't ever think it would be like this: his hands fisted in the front of Kurt's shirt, one of Kurt's hands on his back and the other caressing his face, as they gasped hot breaths into each other's mouths. It wasn't what he'd imagined, but it was somehow everything he had hoped for.
Turning his head to the side and panting slightly, Blaine broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against Kurt's, keeping his eyes closed and soaking in the feeling of being so close to him.
"I never dreamt someone like you existed," Blaine whispered. Kurt's hand, which he had dropped from Blaine's face, stroked the length of Blaine's forearm before he twined their fingers together again. "I didn't think I could have this or that I would ever feel this way about someone."
Kurt tilted his head and caught Blaine's lips in another quick kiss. "I'm so glad you chose to stop me in the street," he murmured.
Blaine smiled as Kurt nuzzled their noses together, the bubble of happiness swelling up so large inside of him he felt like he could float. He felt so overwhelmingly elated and loved that he forgot time was against them and these feelings couldn't last. He forgot there was a ninety-one year time gap waiting to prick and burst their happy bubble.