Before Blaine opened his eyes, it took him a few moments to figure out what
on earth he might see when he did. The bed felt stiff beneath him - a
firmer mattress than at home, much firmer than the one in his temporary
apartment, and as he shifted there was a bit of a squeak. Not enough to
wake a person, just enough to notice really. The sheet wasnt as soft as
he was used to, either, definitely a lower thread count, more toothsome
across his-

...across his bare thigh.

Which meant the warmth radiating against his back wasnt coming from the
early morning sun, was it?

His heart leapt - it hadnt been a dream. The images of Kurt gazing
up at him from beneath heavy eyelids and tossled brown hair, the sensation
of his old flames otherworldly-soft skin beneath his palm, the sounds-
Hed had those dreams forever, it felt like, for as long as he could
remember, but never before had there been even a chance they had actually
happened. He stretched slowly, carefully, not wanting to wake the
other man in his bed, and he stifled a quiet groan at the stretch, the
familiar combination of exerted and lazy muscles that always signaled a
good time the night before. He had definitely had sex last night. And
judging from the lack of memory to the contrary-

He opened his eyes, unable to stop the silly grin from creeping across his
face. God, hed dreamed about - fantasized about, wondered about - having
sex with his first love for so many years. For decades hed regretted not
going further, not being able to go beyond a hurried jerk of his hand, and
hed wondered what things might have been like if he could have brought
himself to do this.

And hed been given a second chance.

Blaine rolled over carefully, cringing each time the bed moved beneath him;
he didnt want to disturb the man sleeping beside him - not yet, anyway.
He didnt realize hed been holding his breath until he released it slowly
as he settled onto his other side, face-to-face with the man he had loved
for...had he ever not loved this man? Kurt looked so peaceful when
he slept, mouth open just a tiny bit, jaw relaxed, nothing like he carried
himself the rest of the time. He wasnt all tense and constantly pulling
himself up taller and straighter to try and fight the world, he was
just...the most handsome guy Blaine had ever seen. His cheeks looked rosy
against the white pillowcase, the rest of his skin so smooth and creamy and
young - how did he keep it so perfect? Blaine wondered. He knew back at
Dalton the boy had had practically every skincare product carried in any
major department store within a half hour of campus, but they werent 17
anymore and surely Kurt should have been subject to nature as much as any
of the rest of them were, right?

He wasnt, though, Blaine thought as he gazed fondly at the young man
beside him. Oh, he was definitely older, but it was like the universe had
decided to be extra kind to Kurt Hummel or something. Let everyone else
worry about wrinkles and hair loss and slowing metabolism and just give
Kurt a stronger jawline and faint light brown stubble across his chin.

He wanted to touch him, to straighten the chestnut brown hair splayed
across the pillow, to feel the place where perfectly smooth flushed cheek
met coarse shadow, but he couldnt bear the thought of waking the man...or
breaking the moment. Hed waited too long for this to cut it short now.

He'd earned his second chance, he realized, aching at the thought as his grin grew even broader. Everything he'd done wrong, all the time he'd spent wishing he could go back and fix it, all the young men he'd helped avoid a similar fate, it had all brought him back here to the first man he'd ever loved – truly loved, more than just wishing he could stop dreaming about. Maybe all the talking some guys did about karma wasn't so crazy after all; maybe he'd finally fixed his.

Now all he had to do was make sure he didn't screw this up. After all this time, the last thing he could afford to do was ruin things with Kurt ever again. Second chances were one thing – third chances were another. And besides, if getting to the second chance had taken 17 years, he doubted they'd get to a third chance much sooner. He didn't want to wait until they were in their 50s for their life together to really start.

He wanted it to start right now – right here in this city he'd never even thought about living in. How was that for fantastic luck?

Kurt began to stir, slowly at first – a little wrinkle of his brow, a twitch of his nose as his breathing changed from sleep-deep inhales to something more lively, a shift of his shoulders, then a slow, full-body stretch. Blaine found himself almost holding his breath, which he knew was silly but he didn't want to wake the man up any faster than he had to, watching and trying to memorize every second. He'd never seen what Kurt looked like when he woke up before; he'd watched him fall asleep before, a weekend he was sure Kurt didn't remember, back in Lima over some holiday break or something, but in the morning he had desperately dashed out of bed and straight into an icy shower. Those days were over, and this…he wanted to remember it all.

His eyelids fluttered for a few seconds before those beautiful eyes opened, and Blaine couldn't help but smile a little broader. “Good morning, handsome,” he offered quietly. His smile faltered as Kurt looked confused for a moment, blinking at him curiously then seeming to almost shrug, as though he weren't sure what was going on but had decided he'd go with it. Maybe Kurt just wasn't a morning person and needed a little extra help putting the pieces together in the morning. “Should I go get coffee?” He had no idea where the nearest place was, but he was sure the front desk could help him with that.

“Room service,” Kurt mumbled around a yawn. He stretched again, then stood, and Blaine found himself watching even more intently as the man padded from the bed into the bathroom. Was he supposed to call? He wasn't even sure what room they were in – he remembered Kurt fumbling with the key last night and claiming it had nothing to do with the couple drinks or their fit of laughter, but he couldn't have identified their room number if his life depended on it. But- he rolled onto his stomach and reached out for the nightstand, swiping twice until his grasped the key. Surely enough, the ring was emblazoned with the number; perfect.

By the time Kurt returned – Blaine was disappointed to note he was clad in a robe – he had just set the phone back in the cradle and the key back on the table. “Breakfast will be up in about 15 minutes,” he reported, shifting back onto his side of the bed.

“Thanks,” Kurt replied stiffly. He glanced at the now-empty space on the mattress, then settled on the chair instead. Blaine wasn't sure why; there was plenty of room for them both, and the bed was surely more comfortable. Maybe he didn't want the concierge to find two men in bed when he brought up the breakfast tray, though Blaine wasn't sure two men in a hotel room the morning after was much less incriminating. Besides, it was 1976 for goodness' sake, it wasn't 1960. Even so, he reached over to retrieve his clothes.

"I never expected you to be quite so quiet and sleepy in the morning," he offered as he tugged on his polo shirt. "You always seemed more like an up-and-at-em kind of guy."

"You thought about this?" Kurt asked. There was something about the way he held his face- it hadnt been like that last night, it was too...tense. Too tight and proud and vaguely bemused in a kinda taunting, haughty way that made Blaine feel uneasy.

"Well, yeah, I mean...hadnt you?"

"Not exactly."

Blaine wasnt sure how to take that. Surely Kurt had thought about the possibility of coming back together - or at least of what could have been, right? Of what they could have had together if he hadnt been so stupid and scared... "What do you mean?"

"Look, I dont-" He flicked at an invisible piece of lint on the cuff of his robe, then looked up to meet his gaze. The look in his eyes was almost-cold, almost-indifferent, and Blaine felt his stomach sink a little. "Last night was great. I had a fantastic time. I cant remember the last time I laughed so hard. But it was just a one-time kind of thing."

He blinked, not sure he understood. If things had been fun, if they still had chemistry - which they obviously did, both personally and apparently sexually - then there should have been no reason for Kurt to say that. "What do you mean?"

"I dont think dating my ex-boyfriend is a great way to spend the summer...do you?"

"Why couldnt it be?" Blaine replied quickly, earnest. He could make Kurt see, if only- "I didnt expect it either, and I certainly didnt plan on it, but you know youve wondered about us. I know you have. Things are different now, Im different. And you cant pretend we dont still have great chemistry."

"You say still like its continued," Kurt half-mumbled with an exasperated roll of his eyes.

Blaines heart sank. "So youre still mad at me," he concluded quietly, aching. How long would he have to pay for it? For being scared and cruel half a lifetime ago - when, by the way, almost everyone like them had been just as scared and cruel as he had been? He hadnt seen a line of Warblers ready to stand up and declare their preferences even if he was pretty sure that, in retrospect, at least a few of them were probably messing around with their roommates after curfew and pretending it was nothing. How many more ways could he apologize? How many more times would he have to in order for Kurt to trust him and to believe he was sincere?

"No, Blaine, Im not," Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes like Blaine was the dumbest person on the planet, and that almost stung more. "Im just- to be honest? Im surprised youre still here."

That stung. He barely concealed a flinch. All these years, Kurt still thought-

"Not- damnit," Kurt mumbled more to himself than to anyone. He stood in a smooth, fluid motion and crossed the distance between them to put his hand on Blaines bicep. "Not for that. Just...one night stands dont usually stick around in the morning for breakfast and small talk."

He still did that adorable scrunchy thing with his face, Blaine noticed, and it distracted him for a moment. "What if I wasnt?"

"What?"

"What if this wasnt just one night? Why cant we pick back up where we were?"

"Because were not 17 anymore, Blaine. We barely know each other, I dont know anything about your life and god knows you dont know anything about mine."

"You know about work, I told you about my last breakup, what else is there to know?"

"Twenty years," Kurt replied quietly, and the open sincerity in the glasz eyes made Blaines chest ache again. They had lost out on so much time together, had missed so much of each others lives...he didnt know if Kurt had gone to college or just dived into The Big Apple, he had no idea if the man had dated - well, of course he had dated, but how much and how long and how deeply...or where he went after work to people-watch, or if he still took his coffee the same way. This wasnt catching up with other teachers after summer break, this was more life since theyd known one another than life before theyd met.

Although...not by much.

"We can learn," he pointed out. "We can catch up."

"Why-" Kurt started to ask, but before he could get to the second word - which Blaine feared might be bother - Blaine cut him off.

"Because youre the most attractive guy Ive ever seen. And I dont want to throw this chance away."

That seemed to throw Kurt off-balance for a moment, and it was both unnerving and really neat to see someone who was always so put-together look startled by something - even just a little bit. The man rolled his eyes self-deprecatingly but did smile. "Yeah, well," he replied, almost as an afterthought. "I try."

"I understand why we cant pick up where we were, and I...I wouldnt want to. Not as the people we were back then. But chemistry doesnt go away."

"Last night was pretty fun..."

"So lets just...try," Blaine suggested. "We can have some fun and see where it goes."

"Maybe," Kurt replied, leaning in closer so their lips were almost touching. There was a knock at the door, and Blaine barely kept in a groan; he couldnt stop from rolling his eyes though. "Breakfast is here," Kurt stated needlessly in a near-whisper before pulling back slowly to retrieve it.

Blaine fell back on the bed, unable to hide his grin. Maybe was better than no, and coupled with that look and closeness, it was just one step below hell yes.

* * * * *
Kurt jangled his way down the street anxiously, hand cupped over the outside of his pocket as though he was trying to still the change there just as much as he was trying to still his nerves. It had taken awhile to scrounge together all the coins in his room, and then hed needed to still change a few dollars down at the front desk, so that by the time he left the hotel the midday sun was blazing down and the voice in his head had been telling him how stupid this was for the better part of two hours.

He already knew what Ricky would say. He already knew damn well that his best friend would tell him what a moron he was being and to stop messing around with the past. There was no reason to go to all this trouble just to stand at a payphone (god he missed having a home right now, if only for the telephone in the living room that he could carry into his room and talk as long as he wanted without any mechanical voice telling him to insert another ten cents) and listen to a laundry list of reasons the previous night had been positively stupid.

But he needed to hear Rickys voice so badly right now.

He leaned against the plexiglass booth and checked his watch again. This time of the afternoon, plus three hours, Ricky was probably already at work. Unless they had changed his schedule around again - sometimes a new kid would start and need certain days off for a variety of wannabe-chorus-boy lessons, and Ricky was always happy to switch - for the right price, of course. He had said last time that there was a new guy who had started recently-

No, Kurt scolded himself. He was just stalling now. He wasnt sure why; it wasnt as though he was trying to avoid being told how idiotic hed been the night before. If he wanted that, he could just not call in the first place. Of course, his own mind was filling in nicely for Ricky in the meantime, repeating over and over again-

Fine. He shoved a few coins into the slot and dialed, body almost going limp with relief as he heard the familiar voice. "Oscar Wilde Bookshop."

"Hey - is it full there right now?"

"Vonny! God, no - at 3:30 on a weekday? I was trying nail enamel shades."

Kurt smiled as he pictured Ricky standing at the front counter, phone cradled against his shoulder as he tried a different colour on each nail, studying his hands in the light from the big window... "Any winners?"

"Nah, theyre all for white girl hands. A few would look fantastic on you. How are you? Any star sightings yet? Did you finally get some sun on those pasty cheeks?"

"No beach time yet, Mercedes has been dragging me to meetings so I can spend five minutes talking about image and the rest listening to debates over producers. When all this is over, Im dragging her to a line meeting so shell understand why I keep asking if Im really needed."

"And with that, next springs line will feature a lot of shocking pink and animal print..." Ricky intoned dryly. The two did get along better now than they had at first, if only because Mercedes had gotten used to the guy. It was all perfectly civil, even if they would never be buddies...or understand one anothers fashion sense.

"Could be worse," Kurt pointed out, and Ricky groaned. "Remember the lame`?"

"Just because it was awful to work with doesnt mean it was bad to wear. Well...okay, fine, yes it was, but only because that shit doesnt breathe - talk about sweating through my makeup, my boobs, the whole 9. But it did look fabulous, especially under the lights. Better than doubleknit polyester, which is just as awful to wear."

Kurt smiled as he listened, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall of the booth, letting himself imagine for a moment he was back in New Yorks sweltering humidity, thumbing through a magazine at the counter. This was the chance of a lifetime out here, and he was grateful for it - and enjoying the freedom, that was for sure. He understood what possessed Don to stay in business for himself even if it wasnt nearly as steady or lucrative yet. But he wished he could have the opportunity and his best friend in the same place at the same time.

In New York. Where things werent nearly so confusing and there wasnt an ex-boyfriend who had grown into himself nicely trying to pursue him in some ill-fated attempt to...Kurt didnt even know.

"...So whats really going on, Vonny?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh please, baby. Dont get me wrong, you should call more often. But somethings up."

"How do you-"

"How long have we known each other?" Ricky pointed out.

Kurt sighed and nodded. He didnt know why he was trying to hide behind small talk anyway; he had called Ricky for one reason - to have someone else verbally smack him upside the head for the stupid thing hed done the night before. Why was he postponing the inevitable?

"I slept with Blaine last night."

"...who?" Ricky asked.

That was the question, wasnt it? Who was Blaine at this point, and what did he have to do with- where did he fit into anything anymore? Was he a really cute guy I met at a club and went for coffee with or the guy who ripped out my heart and ran 3,000 miles away?

"Wait. The boyfriend...back when you were in prep-school?"

"The very same," Kurt replied dryly.

"No!" Ricky gasped. "How did this happen?"

Kurt recounted - flippantly at first, to try to make clear all the ways this hadnt been his plan, then more slowly as he tried to find a way of breaking down the night before. Ricky did a surprisingly good job of not interrupting - much, anyway - but before Kurt could explain the awkward conversation this morning and Blaines mistaken belief that this meant something, his friend broke in. "So was it good?"

"Ricky."

"Oh cmon, Vonny, you can tell me," Ricky practically cooed.

Kurt rolled his eyes but admitted, "Pretty good. Hes so eager to please people-"

"God, those are the best," he groaned.

"And his hairs looser than it was, which-"

"Like falling out?"

"No! He just...used to wear it all slicked down, and now its...well, its still full of products, but you can tangle your fingers in it-" Ricky groaned again and Kurt raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Do you need to be alone?"

"Mm, no, Ill work through it. So if the sex is good, and if hes not some closeted jerk with a wife in Pasadena, why are you calling me from a payphone instead of getting yourself an encore?"

"Because-..." Kurt stopped, suddenly realizing he didnt know what to say. Because...he hadnt expected it? Because it wasnt part of his plan for the summer, as though anything about this summer were planned? Because he didnt know anything about the person Blaine was now and had no idea if they were compatible, even though clearly they fit well together both at dinner and in bed? Because there was no point in getting involved in some complicated thing if he was leaving in a few months anyway?

Because Blaine really liked him? And maybe was still in love with him all these years later?

"Please dont tell me its because youre still pissed at the guy. Do you know how much stupid shit people do at 15?"

"18," he corrected distantly.

"Not that different," Ricky replied. "Not that different from stupid shit you did at 20."

"I didnt lead anyone on and willfully destroy them," Kurt replied shortly, standing up straighter, eyes narrowing. "Going to the wrong park to look for love is different than having it and throwing it in someones face. Its different than lying to someone for months about the future and intentions. I made mistakes when I was younger, we all have. What he did was worse."

"...So it is because youre still mad," Ricky concluded quietly.

Kurt could picture the judgment on his friends face - he could judge like no one else, even in the entire ballroom full of perfectly judgmental queens. And he deserved every bit of it right now - being mad at someone this many years later was a sign of being...he wasnt sure exactly, but he was pretty sure it was somewhere between petty and pathetic. "No," he replied, but it came out more ridiculous-sounding than he wanted it to. He sighed quietly, sinking back against the plexiglass. "I dont know. Im not in general anymore - for years I was mad every time I thought about him, but thats been at least a decade. But people need to stop defending him so much, as though being young was an excuse. I was even younger than he was, and I didnt run away screaming from what could have been a great relationship and future. I was younger than he was, and I wasnt scared." There was a long silence on the other end, and Kurt finally asked, "What?"

"Do you want the nice answer or the real one, Vonny?"

That question was never a good sign - it always meant Ricky thought he was being ridiculous. Or insufferable. But that was why he had called, right? "Always the real one."

"Youre obviously still hung up on this guy and what happened. How many queens do you know who werent out until later? Sure as hell not in high school, Vonny, cmon - almost no ones like us. Half the people we know had wives, or at least longterm girlfriends to practice so-called celibacy with."

"Crystal has kids..." That did still blow his mind. He loved both Rachel and Mercedes but couldnt imagine actually having sex with either of them, let alone frequently enough to have a child, least of all more than one.

"Exactly. Look, you and me, we cant hide even if we try. Some girls can. And I sure as hell would have to keep myself at home if I thought it was an option. Hes still ahead of the curve - do you know how many clients I have who still dont think anyone knows? The guys not shoving muscle magazines under his workbench and hoping no one finds them, so cut him some slack for being scared twenty years ago. If hes still an ass or wants to treat you like some dirty little fantasy, dump him like last years eyeliner, but until then."

Kurt wrapped the thick metal cord around his fingers absently, wishing it were the flexible loops he was used to; there was something comforting about being able to fidget with something while thinking. "Hes not an ass," he admitted with a faint smile. "Last night was fun."

"How fun?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You already know the answer to that. Hes funny - and sweet. And he does this thing with his eyes where they light up when he talks about his job..."

"Whats he do?"

"Teach." He heard Ricky groan again and quickly added, "Children, Ricky."

"Theres no need to kill a fantasy like that," he scolded offhandedly. "Bookish and eager to please?"

"And he still sings."

"So you have something in common."

"Its more than that," Kurt replied. "I mean, yes, but its...so much more. The way he looks when he does..." He wished he could ignore it, or that Blaine had never asked him out with that stupid, ridiculous performance, because then he could have avoided this whole thing, but once the music started hed been a goner.

If Blaine could express even a third as much through speaking as he could through song, they wouldnt have had nearly so many problems. Music was a powerful tool, but sometimes there just wasnt a song that said everything, and unless he started writing his own collection of apology songs that might apply to more situations...

"So go have him sing to you and then get yourself an encore," Ricky suggested, but there was a touch of seriousness now - not too much, he was still flippant as usual, but Kurt had known him long enough to recognize the subtle change as a sign of sincerity.

"Ill call him tomorrow," Kurt concluded. Calling tonight would give Blaine the wrong impression and suggest he was jumping into this much deeper and faster than he planned. He had no intention of flinging himself headlong into the relationship the way he so often did, fixating on the object of his affection, but maybe he could set aside the caution a little bit.

"Gives you plenty of time to stock up on Crisco."

"Ha." He rolled his eyes.

"Were there cobwebs last night? Because with how long its been Id guess it was dustier than grandmas attic."

"Im hanging up now."

"You know you miss me."

He smiled, hand squeezing the phone for a moment. "I do."

"I do too," Ricky replied, and the sincerity was back; then in a second it was gone. "Now go tangle your hair in some curls." And he added for good measure, lest anyone mistake him for a serious or demure person, "Wherever you find em. Have fun, Vonny!"

Kurt shook his head at the innuendo but couldnt help but smile as he set the receiver in its cradle. He stepped out of the booth into the fresh air and started back up the block toward the hotel. With all that settled, he could put it out of his mind and catch up on his sewing.