Chapter 3

The next day Blaine showed up under the oak tree a long while before Kurt. He'd been fidgety all morning, and by the time afternoon rolled around, he was positively shaking. His thoughts were swirling in his mind without order, jumping from one extreme to the other.

One side of him wanted to punch Kurt for what he had done. He crossed a line. The kiss was entirely unacceptable. Why would he even do that? It was wrong, simply wrong, and Blaine knew that. That was what he was always taught.

The other side of him couldn't stop marvelling at how right it had felt. How their lips seemed to match together perfectly for the few seconds they were linked. And the last thing he could ever do was to hurt Kurt in any way.

Kurt could see Blaine pacing to and fro by the oak tree from all the way back at the farm. As soon as he could, he started through the fields, his pace picking up with every step that took him closer to Blaine. There was no way to foresee what the other boy would tell him. Maybe he'd ruined the semblance of a friendship he was beginning to have with him? He shouldn't have rushed into anything.

But now everything was done and it was too late to go back. So he was going forwards, almost running the last few yards.

They stopped opposite each other in silence. Blaine clenched and unclenched his fists, the battle within him still not ceasing.

'Why did you do that?,' he asked eventually.

No explanation was needed.

'Because I wanted to.'

Blaine scoffed, turning away and starting to pace again.

'Have no one ever told you you shouldn't do everything you want to do?,' he almost shouted.

'I suppose someone might have mentioned that.'

There was no trace of guilt or remorse in his tone. It was driving Blaine crazy.

'Don't you think that was wrong? You shouldn't have done that! You shouldn't have made me-'

His voice trailed off helplessly.

'Made you what? I didn't make you kiss me back.'

'What? I did not-'

Words continued to fail him. He couldn't even force his legs to move anymore, so he didn't step back when Kurt crossed the short distance between them.

'You did, Blaine. I'm pretty sure you did. So don't bullshit me.'

Blaine hid his face in his palms and sat on the grassy ground. In a swift movement, Kurt joined him and patted him on the shoulder.

'I don't know what all this means,' Blaine mumbled, finally lifting his eyes back at Kurt. They were glistening with held back tears.

'You should probably be the one to determine this, but I'd guess you like boys.'

Blaine frowned.

'Like boys as it-'

'As in you're gay.' Kurt was still incredulous about his realisation. 'Just like I am.'

'But that's a sin. It's wrong, isn't it?'

'Oh, honey, you're in denial,' Kurt said, shaking his head. 'Did it feel wrong yesterday?'

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Did it feel that way? Did it?

'No,' he whispered finally.

Kurt nodded with an unsurprised expression. He couldn't help, though, to feel highly satisfied with himself for getting that confession out of a bishop's son.

'Do you really think I might be- gay?,' Blaine asked quietly.

Smiling sadly, Kurt rested his head on the tree trunk and turned his eyes to Blaine.

'You might,' he said. 'When you look at girls, what do you see?'

Blaine frowned in thought, and then shrugged his shoulders.

'Um- I don't know- girls?'

Kurt couldn't hold back a chuckle.

'That one's obvious. Do you see, really see, any details? Do you pay attention to their eyes, their legs, boobs, lips, the whole package, but kinda- separately?'

The neighbour Hannah appeared in a flash of image in Blaine's mind. He could barely recall that her hair was blonde and her eyes bright, he couldn't remember the exact colour. He could tell that she was wearing a blue dress and a dark apron the last time he saw her, but then he realised that every next Amish girl dressed like the last one.

'Uh. I guess not really,' he muttered almost inaudibly after a moment.

'What about guys?,' Kurt prodded gently.

'I have your eyes memorised,' Blaine said, only to feel a flush of heat on his reddening face. 'Um- that was awkward.'

But Kurt couldn't agree, he was still speechless from the unexpected, terribly romantic confession. That was more than he ever anticipated to hear. Not just from Blaine, from anyone. Especially while he was still here.

'Thank you, I guess,' he choked out at last. 'We can settle the case, then. Even if you don't like boys, you seem to like a boy.'

He bit his lip, waiting for a response. His heart was pounding so loudly he wasn't sure he would even hear Blaine speak.

'It seems like it.'

Even if Kurt hadn't heard it, he would've been perfectly able to read the meaning out of the burning hazel eyes. Unable to cut the eyes contact, he reached out his hand blindly, until it locked on Blaine's. The sudden touch startled the boy, but he didn't flinch away. The corners of his mouth curled up by a fraction, before his expression turned into one of confusion.

'What are we even doing here?,' Blaine said quietly.

'Sitting. Holding hands.' Kurt shrugged, despite the incredibility of the situation.

'I mean the bigger picture.'

To this Kurt didn't know the answer. Things were happening too fast to really make sense of them. It was dizzying and intoxicating.

'I guess normal people would call this a date,' Kurt ventured.

'Normal in what sense? If we were a boy and a girl?'

Kurt snorted.

'No, we are normal. I meant non-Amish.'

'So it's courting,' Blaine blurted out, before realising it wasn't accurate at all. When he did, his heart suddenly sank.

'We can't really do that here,' Kurt said sadly, turning his face away.

They were silent for a while, watching the last rays of faint spring sun disappear beyond the horizon. In the silent field at sunset, it felt like they had been transported into another world, one that was peace, quiet and warmth.

'No one can ever know,' Blaine eventually broke the silence. 'About me, about us, about you. Can you promise me that?'

'I promise,' Kurt said solemnly, pulling Blaine into a one-armed embrace, the hands they were holding still linked.

'Only God will know.'

The breath against Kurt's neck was barely audible, but it reminded him that if there was one guy he should be scared of when it came to Blaine, it was God. If they were ever to part, religion would be the reason why.

But then Blaine backed out of the hug and cut Kurt's worries short with a kiss much deeper than the first one they shared. It was the tentative, exploratory kind of kissing that grows surer with experience, but whose beauty is in its awkwardness and the discoveries that come from the initial trials and failures.

And Kurt kissed him back as sloppily, instinctively opening his mouth and letting his tongue wonder along Blaine's sweet lips.

This time it was Mrs Anderson who interrupted them, her voice in the darkness making them jump apart. They exchanged one last peck on the lips and promised to see each other the next day. Same time, same place.