Chapter 12

The following day was a crazy run down Hollywood Boulevard with cameras firmly gripped in hands to catch all the important landmarks. The city was bustling, the Walk of Fame was crowded, and Madame Tussaud's was spectacular. Walking past the Kodak Theatre made them feel a little like the stars arriving for the Academy Awards. It seemed surreal to be in the same spot as all those people.

Kurt was only paying half his attention to his surroundings most of the time, Brittany's words from the previous night echoing in his mind. Things like Julie Andrews' star in the Walk of Fame or Audrey Hepburn's wax figure made him forget the matter for a moment, but once they left them behind, all of his feelings and doubts returned with full force.

Was Brittany right? Was it perfect? Was he being a coward in dreading telling Blaine how he felt?

Watching Blaine excited and grinning happily made Kurt's thought process even tougher. What if the idea that Brittany had planted in his head would ruin probably the best time Blaine had had in a long time, if not ever? It was terrifying, mostly because Kurt couldn't find it in himself to decide against following through with it. The last few months had been exhausting, the last few days were an up and down ride, full of all kinds of clashing emotions. Yet somehow, Kurt couldn't shake the feeling that once he says what he wants to say, everything would finally settle and be fine.

Blaine was more carefree than he remembered being in the last couple of months. The sun and the sights made his lips arch and his brain block all negativity. Kurt seemed a little pensive, but Blaine figured he could be simply overwhelmed by the city; it was a lot to take in.

To both of theirs surprise, Santana and Brittany abandoned their usual pinky-holding for actual hand-holding. The girls even stole a kiss or two when the others weren't looking. But even if Finn, Rachel and Puck noticed any of that, they didn't make a comment. Kurt and Blaine only smiled at each other in acknowledgement. It was nice to see them happy, even when they were unsure if their own happiness was attainable.

***

Kurt began planning telling Blaine at lunch. Everyone else was discussing things they'd seen in the morning, and he could tune out, sifting through songs in his mind. Finding the perfect one wasn't too challenging and once he'd found it, it didn't leave him until they were going back to the motel late in the afternoon.

They had almost resigned to call it a night and stay in, when Rachel caught a glimpse of a sign from the bus they took back to Santa Monica.

'Oh my God, there's a karaoke bar like four blocks from us!,' she squealed. 'Can we go, guys? Please, say yes!'

'If we wanted to hear more Rachel Berry solos, we wouldn't go all the way to California to do so,' Santana said. 'But sure, we could go.'

'Yes!,' Rachel exclaimed in triumph.

Kurt smiled nervously at their freshly formed plans. That changed things for him. He'd intended to spend the whole evening getting around to telling Blaine, and now it turned out they had a little over an hour until leaving the motel again. And singing the song in public was out of the question. This was something he needed to do with no one else around. It had to be just him and Blaine.

As soon as they were back in their room, Kurt ran for the bathroom. He desperately needed a shower after the day in the summer LA heat. Brushing his teeth just in case couldn't hurt either. He also could use a moment to try to calm down before taking the step he'd been dreading for months.

Twenty minutes later he came back out to the room, just to be left alone a second later, when Blaine shut the bathroom door behind him, promising not to take too long.

'I'm gonna hold you to that promise,' Kurt muttered after him.

Waiting made Kurt even more fidgety. He couldn't sit or stand in one place for longer than fifteen seconds, twining and untwining his shaky fingers, while trying to stop himself from running them through his perfectly coiffed hair.

It was a make-it-or-break-it situation; there was no other option. It was either the beginning of something or the end of everything, and the knowledge made Kurt sick. There was a fifty-fifty chance he'd be throwing the best thing that had ever happened to him out the window in just a few minutes' time. He had to be calm, but how could he be?

Eventually the water in the bathroom stopped flowing and a few minutes later, Blaine appeared in the door, halting at the sight of Kurt standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

'What is it?,' he asked, dropping the clothes he'd had on before to the floor and almost jogging up to his best friend.

Kurt shook his head and gestured to his bed.

'Can we sit for a moment?' His voice was small and trembling.

'Sure. Can you tell me what's happened?,' Blaine said, his concern increasing rapidly.

They sat down at the edge of the bed, Kurt's eyes escaping Blaine's.

'Nothing. Or at least nothing happened now.' Kurt paused, and looked up to measure the bewildered look in Blaine's face. 'There's just something that I- I wanted to tell you, but- Some things are told better in song, you know? So I guess I wanted to sing to you. Is it okay if I do?'

Blaine felt like he was dreaming. The haziness of his mind, the improbability of this happening, everything pointed to all this being a wonderful, though fleeting, dream.

'Yeah, sure... I'd love that,' he managed to choke out in his confusion.

A feeble smile flickered on Kurt's lips and died, his eyes drifting away somewhere to the side just before the first note left his mouth.

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over.
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
I know this is love.
But if I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
'Cause it was never said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you...

Kurt's voice became barely audible with the last lines, his throat clenched with fear and anticipation. The look on Blaine's face was one of something between confusion and disbelief.

'Do you- Do you know what I wanted to tell you?,' Kurt asked shakily.

Blaine swallowed, trying to arrange his thoughts and grasp that it had really just happened.

'I- I think I do,' he stammered.

Kurt was opening his mouth to answer, when a sharp knock on the door reminded them they were supposed to leave.

'Guys, come on, hurry up or we'll go without you!,' Rachel's voice came from outside.

They exchanged a look and the uncertainty evident in Blaine's eyes made Kurt regret everything he'd done.

'Let's go,' he said, jumping to his feet.

It was all over and he really didn't want to hear it said out loud.