Chapter 13

November began quietly.

At least when it came to words, Karofsky wasn’t as vicious as before. Azimio and the others would direct a slur at Kurt or Blaine once in a while, but when Dave accompanied them, he’d stay silent, his gaze obstinately dropped to the floor. His actions, though, were growing louder.

The shoving got worse. Kurt was now slammed into anything solid in the hallways almost every time he and Karofsky crossed paths. Blaine would get a push that sometimes ended with him tripping or dropping his books, but usually he would just keep going, only casting a frightened look at Dave’s hateful expression.

Neither of the friends could understand the different treatment they were served. After all, Karofsky had as many ridiculous reasons to hate one as he had to hate the other. They were both openly gay, both were part of the New Directions, both were at the bottom of the high school hierarchy, plankton in the food chain. No matter how many times they would discuss it, their conclusions were exactly the same: they had no idea what to make of it and assigned the illogicality to evident lacks in Karofsky’s intellectual skills.

‘Do you think it’s ever going to change?,’ Kurt asked philosophically during one of such discussions.

Blaine took a moment to consider it and shrugged his shoulders, his hands never leaving Goldie’s shiny fur.

‘I don’t know. I hope so. If not for us, then for others.’ He sighed deeply. ‘But then again, this is Ohio, I wouldn’t expect any revolution in the next twenty to thirty years.’

‘I just wish we could do something.’

Blaine attempted to smile at his friend.

‘We can refuse to be the victims.’

Kurt frowned, not understanding what Blaine was getting at.

‘Since Halloween, I’ve been thinking… About that night and that panic attack I had, or whatever it was.’ Kurt nodded to get him to go on. ‘I don’t want anything like that to happen again. To freak out like that. I can’t just will away the fear, that’s always going to be there, but we can try and fight back, right? This is why I took up boxing in the first place, and if anything were to happen again and I just froze, it would all just go to hell.’

‘So, what exactly are you saying?’ Kurt had an idea what Blaine meant, but he’d rather hear it.

‘It’s all about the mindset. Being a victim is feeling like one. And we are strong enough to fight back and not just stand idly by, defenseless. Right?’

Kurt considered Blaine’s words for a moment, nodding understandingly.

‘What are we going to do, then, if we’re not standing idly by anymore?,’ he asked.

‘I don’t know. Call him out maybe. I think we agree Karofsky is the biggest problem, right?’ Kurt nodded and Blaine continued. ‘Or maybe next time he shoves you or me, we have to react. I could punch him, you could- I don’t know- An insult for an insult?’

Kurt flopped back onto Blaine’s bed. The plan was far from flawless and they both knew it. But they also both knew that letting the situation develop any more was dangerous.

‘You know, probably none of this is going to work, anyway,’ Kurt said in a small voice.

‘We won’t know, unless we try.’

***

Kurt didn’t have to wait long for an opportunity to stand up to Karofsky. He still wasn’t convinced trying that would make a difference, but Blaine’s words kept resounding in his mind. No, they should definitely not let their bully intimidate them into thinking they were helpless. And Kurt’s patience was growing thin as every next push resulted in more and more pain. The spots that struck the lockers and walls most frequently – his arms, shoulders and the top of his back – were covered in bruises that weren’t allowed to heal. Whenever one was beginning to fade, another one was added over it. And whenever someone would touch any of the sore places, Kurt would cringe, hoping no one would notice. Blaine was the only one who knew.

On a Tuesday in the first half of November, Kurt was leaving study hall alone, directing his footsteps through the quiet hallways to the choir room. As he turned a corner, he froze for a second, seeing Karofsky closing his locker in the middle of the corridor. Kurt sucked in a shaky breath and resumed walking three times faster than before, simultaneously trying to blend into the walls and not let Karofsky see him.

To his absolute horror, Dave turned around just before Kurt was about to pass by him. He could swear that for a split second Karofsky’s face expressed sadness, despair even, before it turned into the usual loathing.

Even though this time Kurt was expecting the attack, there was not much chance he could get away from the bully now.

But there was something different in the way Karofsky pushed him this time. Something verging on desperation glinted in his eyes, as Kurt was falling back to the lockers with a clash and lost his balance.

Letting out a frustrated groan and casting one more scornful look at Kurt, Karofsky ran off towards the football team’s locker room down the hall. Without much thought beyond Blaine’s words on replay in his brain, Kurt scrambled up and chased after the other boy.

The door hadn’t managed to close behind Dave, when Kurt stormed inside, and it banged on the wall.

‘What is your problem?!,’ Kurt yelled. He never yelled.

‘You are my problem, Hummel. You… You and that other freak, Anderson.’ Karofsky’s voice sounded firmly in his sneers, but there was a note in it that made it seem like he was about to cry. Kurt couldn’t help but notice Dave’s hands were trembling.

‘You think I’m here to ogle? It’s every straight guy’s nightmare, right? To be checked out by gays? Guess what? You’re not my type!’

Karofsky gulped, hitting a nearby locker with his fist. Then he grabbed Kurt by the front of his shirt and threw him against the lockers.

‘Don’t push me!’ His voice was now positively breaking, and Kurt could swear Dave’s eyes were oddly shiny in the dim light of the locker room.

‘Or what? You’re gonna hit me? Go ahead!,’ shouted Kurt desperately. He was still as defenseless as before, but at least he would take the beating with dignity. ‘You can’t punch the gay out of me as much as I can’t punch the ignoramus out of you!’

And then, with no warning whatsoever, no change in Karofsky’s angry face, he pressed his lips to Kurt’s so hard it hurt.

Kurt froze for a second, shocked beyond comprehension. What the fuck was even happening? A million confused thoughts forced their way through his mind. How could Karofsky switch from hating his guts to planting his mouth on Kurt’s within less than fifteen seconds?

As Karofsky’s lips began moving more and more forcibly against Kurt’s, the latter started to fight to break free, and his stomach twisted. But with Karofsky’s whole weight pinning him to the wall of lockers, there was no way he could just pull away. He kept his mouth tightly shut, while his arms tried in vain to push Dave away.

While he was struggling for freedom, Kurt’s thoughts turned involuntarily to the times he had been kissed before. There was no comparison. In Blaine’s kisses, he could feel the tenderness and care of a friend, a kind of love even. In Dave’s forcing his lips apart there was just some twisted mixture of hatred and rushed lust.

Kurt didn’t stop fighting not even for a second, placing his hands in the only place he could reach – at the plains of Karofsky’s chest. Just a moment later he understood it was a huge mistake. One big hand began to slide down Kurt’s side, aiming unmistakably for the belt of his pants. Realizing that, Kurt squealed and let his jaw drop infinitesimally. Karofsky apparently saw it as submission, and his tongue found its way into Kurt’s mouth. At the same time, his hand was already trying to get to the zipper of Kurt’s jeans.

Neither of them heard the approaching footsteps until it was too late.

‘What the hell, Karofsky?!,’ Azimio’s voice rang though the almost empty locker room.

Dave finally let go of Kurt, his body tensing, his face distorting in horror. Kurt was panting, terrified just as much as he was stunned. Azimio kept looking from one to the other, the situation too confusing for him to grasp.

‘Man, are you one of those fags now, or what?’

Nobody answered. Karofsky saw his friend’s confusion as an opening and rushed out of the locker room, pushing past him.

Kurt lingered for a moment in his place, his legs shaking under him. He was as dumbstruck as Azimio, or even more so. He’d thought of so many scenarios confronting Karofsky, but that would have never been something he’d consider. And as far as he knew, neither would Blaine.

Blaine. Glee club. He had to go.

But how was he supposed to show up in the choir room trembling all over, tears building up in his eyes, hair messed up, clothes ruffled…

He managed to take a step towards the door, then another. Azimio followed him with his eyes, but wouldn’t speak or stop him. Kurt’s head was spinning, but somehow he made it out of the locker room and into the closest restroom. With trembling fingers, he took out his phone and dialed the first number on his log.

‘Blaine, come get me.’