Chapter 24: Lima

Lindsey had warned Blaine not to expect anything huge in at least a couple of weeks. Talks with labels and recording studios were tough and boring. In the meantime, Blaine’s task was to focus on composing and finding a manager. Out of the two, he found the latter terrifying, so he put it off, promising himself to take care of it once they come back from Thanksgiving in Ohio. Songwriting was much easier to turn to, especially now, when he had proof he could actually be successful in it.

Until now, he hadn’t even realised how much he wanted to say and how cathartic it was to put some things in words and melodies. He couldn’t feel better getting all of his dark thoughts out of his head, even though sometimes he pushed himself to his limits. The results were still purifying and they made Blaine proud of himself. Dr. Peterson, despite being slightly doubtful about it at first, was forced to admit that, indeed, he appeared to be getting better. She refused to say that he really was getting better, but at the same time, Blaine wasn’t getting his hopes too high up, and the little improvement was still a step forward, a bigger one than he had ever made in the course of his treatment.

A couple of weeks passed without much news from Lindsey, as Blaine tried not to work himself up about it and simply keep composing. Kurt was around Wes, Seb and Blaine’s apartment most of his free time, and finally convinced his boyfriend to play him the pieces he was working on more often. With each of the songs, Kurt couldn’t help but be amazed by Blaine’s talent. It crossed his mind that maybe his feelings made him biased, but he didn’t really care. To him, Blaine would always be a genius, even if he didn’t get a record deal.

Finally, on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, the two of them got on a plane to Columbus, where Burt was supposed to pick them up and drive them to Lima. That was something that almost made Blaine sick whenever he thought of it, but there were no flights directly to Lima. He tried to convince himself he was being ridiculous and the week they were going to spend with Kurt’s family was going to be worth all that anxiety.

Burt welcomed them with hugs by the baggage claim. There was something in his eyes that seemed different to Blaine, and he guessed it had something to do with Kurt’s revelation about the car crash, so he didn’t say anything. It probably wouldn’t be wise to get into the details now, when he was already consumed with worry about driving to Lima.

‘How was your flight?,’ Burt asked them as they made their way through the crowded airport parking lot.

‘Fine,’ Kurt responded, eyeing his boyfriend who seemed to be growing nervous since getting off the plane. ‘Blaine, you alright?’

Blaine nodded rapidly, but his ragged breath said something else.

‘Do you need something, kid?,’ Burt asked softly.

‘No, I’m okay.’ They had just arrived at the car and Burt was about to put their suitcases in the trunk, when a thought crossed Blaine’s mind. ‘Wait a second.’

He put his suitcase down on the ground in a swift movement and began digging through the neatly stacked clothes until he found the small yellow stuffed bear. Burt watched him with a frown, not getting why his son’s boyfriend would exactly need that toy.

‘Do you think he’s gonna help?,’ Kurt asked quietly.

Blaine shrugged.

‘I don’t know. But in case Boo comes out or something-‘

‘Sure.’

Nobody said anything more until they were tucked into the SUV, Kurt joining his boyfriend in the backseat to hold his hand. Blaine was still afraid something bad would happen, like he did every year at the end of November, as if that time was cursed, destined to ruin his life. He was perfectly aware that it was absurd to think that, so he had told Kurt it was stressful for him because he was worried something would trigger him. And he had to admit rationally that in the last eighteen years, none of his Thanksgivings ended in a disaster.

He was just paranoid. He almost snorted at the thought that the addition of paranoia wouldn’t probably make much of a difference with his count of mental problems.

At first, Blaine wouldn’t dare look out the window, keeping his eyes fixed stubbornly on his hand, gripped securely between both of his boyfriend’s. What if they went the same way? What if he recognised the place?

‘We’re going through the north-western part of the city,’ Burt told them, eyeing Blaine in the rear view mirror. He couldn’t be sure his guess about the boy’s tenseness was right, but he was quite sure Blaine did relax a little as he nodded infinitesimally.

Unlike Blaine, after all, Burt remembered every single detail of that day. He could point out the tree the Andersons’ car hit if someone asked him. He remembered the little boy was wearing a tiny red bowtie with cars on it. And the way he trembled in his arms. The bent and tangled metal. The blood. The black body bags. He didn’t even know these people, but it seemed their deaths and their tragedy could never stop haunting him.

And now some twisted form of higher power – God, fate, whatever it was – brought that little boy back into his life, only his time, it was Kurt’s turn to be saving him.

Burt couldn’t honestly say he’d stopped worrying. If anything, his concern only grew with this strange connection that Kurt had discovered. He wasn’t worried just for his son anymore, but also for the man Kurt had chosen to be with. So he glanced every other moment into the mirror to check up on Blaine, watching as the anxiety seeped away little by little.

The first half hour of the drive was quiet. Blaine focused on the warmth of his boyfriend’s body next to him that enveloped him in a little bubble of safety. The car sped smoothly through the highway, with no sudden stops or bumps in the road, which was reassuring. Kurt kept on watching Blaine closely, his relief growing with each moment.

‘I haven’t thanked you for inviting me yet,’ Blaine finally broke the silence, startling both of the Hummels.

‘Don’t even mention it,’ Burt said, taking a hand off the wheel to wave dismissively. For a second Blaine thought the car would swerve and his breath hitched, but nothing happened. ‘You’re family now, right, Kurt?’

‘Absolutely,’ Kurt agreed, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

***

From the first moment he saw her in the open front door, Blaine knew he’d like Carole. Warmth radiated from her, and her smile was one of the kindest he’d ever seen.

‘Blaine, I’m so happy to finally meet you,’ she greeted him, before pulling him in for a short hug.

‘Likewise, Mrs Hummel,’ he replied, relieved beyond words that he met with such a pleasant welcome.

Further in the hall, a tall gangly young man was standing by the staircase, clearly unsure what to do. Carole gave him a scorn and tugged Blaine forwards.

‘That’s my son, Finn,’ she introduced him.

‘Kurt’s told me a lot about you.’ Blaine said, extending his hand for the other man to shake.

‘Yeah- Yeah, and about you too,’ Finn stammered, his eyes darting around as if he didn’t know where to place them.

Burt cleared his throat loudly, trying to dissolve the heavy awkward atmosphere.

‘Carole, why don’t you show Blaine around the house, so he knows where he’s gonna sleep?’

Leaving Burt in charge of their suitcases, the two boys followed Carole upstairs. To Kurt, it felt wonderful to be back home, see the familiar hallway, the pictures on the walls, his room...

‘Wait, weren’t you supposed to show Blaine where he’s sleeping? I still remember where my room is, Carole.’

His step-mother sent him a look that said don’t-be-silly.

‘We thought your bed’s wide enough for the two of you,’ she told him casually.

‘So you’re letting us sleep together?,’ Kurt asked, slightly shocked.

‘Just as long as you two sleep,’ Burt cut in, joining them. ‘But you’re both adults, I’m not gonna treat you like kids, even if it could make me a little uncomfortable.’

Blaine cast a furtive glance at his boyfriend, whose cheeks suddenly turned brightly pink. It seemed that it was the two of them and not Burt who felt the most uncomfortable in this situation.

‘Okay, I am not having this conversation anymore,’ Kurt blurted out, turning on his heel and pushing the door to his room – to their room – open.

It looked just as it always had – decorated in subtle tones of cream, elegant and subdued. It felt simultaneously like coming home and arriving in a foreign land. He knew every nook and cranny, every scratch on the floorboards. But now his muscles were tense, as he grew to realise he didn’t know how to act there anymore.

Snuggling into the wee hours of the night and staying over each other’s places a few times hadn’t taught them to actually live together, not even short-term. They were only beginning to learn how the other liked his coffee, for heaven’s sake.

Burt dragged their luggage in, and left them to unpack, hurrying his wife to follow in his track. The room fell silent, as neither knew what to say. Blaine began examining the shelves that held pictures, diplomas and books. The Kurt in the photographs was clearly younger, remnants of baby fat making his face rounder.

‘That’s cute,’ Blaine said, pointing to a photo of Kurt in a leotard, with a girl on each side.

‘Thanks, but I kinda look like a kindergartener,’ Kurt responded with a nervous giggle.

‘No, you don’t,’ his boyfriend insisted, turning back to him. ‘I love your room.’

Kurt smiled broadly at him, but his expression soon fell.

‘Good, ‘cause now it’s pretty much our room.’

He bit his lip uneasily. This felt strange; it was the first time they had something together, something material and something they could call theirs. As if that somehow took their relationship to a new level, even though it was going to be just nine short days.

‘Then I love our room,’ Blaine corrected himself, taking a step towards Kurt. ‘Are you alright? Do you wanna talk about it?’

Without speaking, Kurt laced his fingers with Blaine’s and led him to the bed they were going to share for the coming week. Their hearts pounded in sync as the realisation of that hit them, but neither backed out.

‘I just- This is a little fast, you know? It feels like we’re shacking up and it scares me,’ Kurt spat out on one exhale of breath.

‘It scares you to be living with me?,’ Blaine asked quietly, after another second of silence. ‘Like- Are you scared of me?’

Kurt’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

‘What? No! Of course not.’ He dropped his eyes to their still linked hands. ‘I’m scared it’s gonna show you I’m not good enough for you.’

‘How could you not be enough for me?,’ Blaine asked, barely finding words in his astonishment. ‘You’re not enough, you’re everything to me.’

A soft smile played at the corners of Kurt’s mouth, his heart warming up and his nervousness dwindling by a fraction.

‘I’m glad to hear it, even though you’re totally exaggerating,’ he said. ‘But I think we need to clear something up.’

Blaine frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt wouldn’t let him.

‘This is going to be a big step for us. Being together almost at all times in the next nine days. Sleeping in one bed each night in between. Spending time with family. It might be weird at first, and awkward, and discouraging- But I’m really hoping it’s gonna be fine.’

‘Me too,’ Blaine said, smiling back at him.

‘One more thing,’ Kurt added. ‘I want you to know that just because we sort of have my Dad’s blessing, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna use the situation and force you into something you’re not ready for. I’ve made that mistake once before, and I promise not to repeat it.’

Blaine hesitated a moment before answering.

‘What if I was ready?,’ he asked, glancing at his boyfriend with unease.

‘Oh.’ Kurt tried not to show his surprise, but failed miserably. ‘Well, we’re still under my parents’ roof, so that would be really awkward. Let’s wait with that step until we’re back in New York, okay?’

‘Okay.’ Blaine pouted. ‘Can I at least count on some heated make-out sessions?’

Kurt let out a peel of laughter.

‘Absolutely.’

Blaine didn’t need any more encouragement. Within seconds, his lips found Kurt’s and his hands grabbed his boyfriend’s face. From there it was close enough to landing horizontally on the bed and forgetting the whole world around them.

Needless to say that when Carole called them to come downstairs for dinner, their lips were swollen and their suitcases unpacked.