Chapter 11: Unconventional

‘I guess I should be mad,’ Blaine said, grinning playfully at Kurt.

They were walking down East 72nd Street towards Central Park. The evening was chilly, but the sky was clear, and if not for the city lights it would be starry. Until then they’d kept quiet since leaving the bar. Wes and Sebastian were entrusted with getting Blaine’s guitar home safely, and let the other two boys have a little of alone time. Once the initial shock of seeing Kurt at his gig was over, Blaine decided the best thing to do was simply enjoy his presence. After all, none of the alters showed up, and Blaine didn’t feel like he was going to lose it.

So for as long as he could, he wanted to hold on to this moment he had with his boyfriend.

‘I know, I’m sorry.’ Kurt looked at him apologetically. ‘I was just hoping that if you didn’t know and I didn’t think you suck, that somehow it won’t freak you out.’

Blaine nodded thoughtfully.

‘You’re probably right. And I don’t mind, as long as you meant everything you said earlier.’

‘I did,’ Kurt said, smiling sheepishly at his boyfriend.

Containing the happiness that flooded Blaine like a massive wave was hardly possible. He chewed down on his lip to stop the beaming smile from growing too wide and too obvious. There was one fear he had to cross out of the enormous list of things that scared the hell out of him. Kurt liked his concert and said he didn’t lie. Kurt actually enjoyed listening to him sing. Obviously, Blaine had been hearing positive opinions of his musical skills for years, but everybody else’s seemed not even one hundredth as important as Kurt’s.

‘So… What exactly are we doing now?,’ Blaine asked after another moment of silence.

‘I have no idea,’ Kurt admitted, a little embarrassed for not having made any plans. He couldn’t have even been sure they’d be able to carry them out.

‘So we’re basically going to wander the streets of New York City in the middle of the night like this?’ Blaine’s tone was clearly teasing.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him.

‘No, dummy. We’re gonna figure something out.’ After a half minute of intensive thinking, an idea popped into his mind. ‘Can you keep a secret?’

With his ridiculous eyebrows raised in surprise, Blaine gave an answer in the affirmative.

‘Then I hope you don’t mind a little walk,’ Kurt flashed him a grin, sliding his hand into Blaine’s and suddenly taking a turn into the nearest street on their right.

The unexpected touch startled Blaine at first, knocking him out of breath. It was the first time they were really holding hands in public like that.

‘Wait, where are we even going?,’ Blaine gasped, barely keeping up with Kurt’s brisk pace without running.

‘You’ll see,’ he said, just before halting  and almost letting Blaine crash into him at full speed. ‘You are hungry, right?’

Blaine hadn’t even thought about such earthly things as food since spotting Kurt at the bar, but the question made him remember his last meal was long hours earlier, so he nodded hesitantly.

‘We’re going for dinner?’

‘Yeah, but-,’ Kurt started, doubt creeping suddenly into his mind. They still didn’t know each other well enough to be sure of the other’s reactions. ‘Just don’t expect candles or anything like that. Not tonight, anyway.’

He managed a relatively happy, teasing smile, trying to convince himself there would still be time to take Blaine out for the kind of date he’d envisioned for last Friday. Meanwhile, Blaine was doing his best to stop himself from hyperventilating, because Kurt’s words implied he had every right to look forward to candlelit dinners and all the romantic crap that ninety per cent of the population would call cheesy and childish, and that he had always dreamed of.

Kurt was leading Blaine through the streets of Upper East Side, without the latter knowing what exactly was their destination. All the while, he was trying to make Kurt give him a hint, filling the walk with silly banter. It took them almost twenty minutes to get wherever they were going, but with Kurt minutes seemed to Blaine like seconds, making him feel like everything that he had at this moment could slip away in a blink of an eye. Like he was watching the sand in an hourglass, pouring down grain by grain, unstoppable and inevitably shrinking as time runs out. There was no way any of that would last.

Finally, they stopped in front of an unremarkable building in one of the side streets, and Kurt turned hastily to Blaine.

‘First off, if anybody ever asks you, I’ve never brought you here. I know nothing of this place,’ he said firmly, and Blaine only nodded, confused what the secrecy was about. ‘Especially, if Rachel or my Dad ever allude to my having any inkling about this place, deny everything. Okay?’

‘Okay?’ Blaine was growing restless and just the tiniest bit scared of whatever place Kurt was going to drag him into.

‘And second,’ Kurt made a dramatic pause, ’I really hope you like hot dogs.’

Blaine’s eyes bulged; he must have misheard him.

‘Hot dogs?’ You’re taking me out for hot dogs?’

Kurt’s face immediately fell.

‘Shit, I knew it would be a mistake,’ he groaned. ‘We can go wherever, but this place is just- They have the best hot dogs in the entire universe and-‘

Completely unexpectedly for both of them, Blaine’s hands cupped Kurt’s face, pulling him firmly into a kiss that broke off whatever he was about to say.

‘Oh,’ Kurt choked out, once their lips separated. ‘So you don’t think that was a stupid idea?,’ he ventured, trying to overcome his shock.

‘I love junk food, of all sorts,’ Blaine said, smiling widely at Kurt’s bewildered expression and his own courage to act as he did. It was astonishingly easy to just lean forwards, and do it.

Kurt sighed with relief.

‘Okay, good. You scared me for a second there.’ He grasped Blaine’s hand again in his and pulled him to the glass door a few steps away. ‘This is my guilty pleasure,’ he said, before yanking the door open before them and letting Blaine in.

He didn’t really pay attention to the building before, but from what he could see now, the place they entered was probably the most cliché of an American diner, it looked almost as if it was somehow taken out of Twin Peaks and transported magically to New York with the interior intact. It was small and empty at this hour on a Sunday, and a slightly bored middle-aged lady was working hard on solving crossword puzzles behind the counter. They placed their order, and before ten minutes were out, they were sitting in one of the low booths with steaming hot dogs in front of them.

One bite was enough for Blaine to establish that Kurt was right about the food. There was something about the simplicity of it that made it delicious, but it wasn’t just that. There was something about the roll, or the ketchup, or the combination of everything, he couldn’t really pinpoint it.

‘Oh my god, how do they do this?,’ he mumbled with his mouth full

Kurt chuckled slightly at the sight of Blaine acting a bit like a starved twelve-year-old.

‘I take it you approve?’

‘Absolutely! This is amazing.’

For a while it was too difficult to talk, because focusing on the food took up almost all of Blaine’s attention.

‘Kurt?,’ Blaine said finally, looking up from his already empty plate. ‘Earlier, you asked not to tell about this to Rachel and to- your Dad. Does that mean you want me to, like, meet him?’

Kurt reached out over the table to Blaine’s hands folded neatly atop of it.

‘Of course I do,’ he said calmly and surely, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. ‘He’s an important part of my life, and I want you to be one, too, so you two will have to meet at some point.’

The elaborateness of the answer took Blaine a little by surprise. He was expecting something along the lines of You’re my boyfriend, so I want to introduce you, if we get serious. If he was standing, he was quite sure his knees would have buckled under him. That one sentence made him feel better than all the kisses in the world ever could. Kurt wanted him, wanted him to be an important part of his life.

‘Will he be fine with-,’ Blaine began hesitantly, once he got over some of the surprise, ‘with, you know, you dating a crazy guy?’

Kurt’s eyes saddened for a split second, before he squeezed Blaine’s hands a little more tightly with his own hand.

‘Hey, don’t call yourself that. Yes, you have a disorder, but don’t reduce yourself to just that,’ he said as firmly as he could. ‘If you do that, the whole world will think it’s okay to see you only as that, and you are so, so much more.’

Blaine could feel the sting of inflowing tears in his eyes and nodded infinitesimally. It had been long months since he’d heard something like that from anybody. Kurt was right, of course he was, just like Blaine’s grandmother used to be.

‘My Dad wants me to be happy,’ Kurt went on. ‘He’ll be worried, I’m sure he will, but once he sees what a great person you are, he’ll be fine.’

A weak smile flickered on Blaine’s lips, fading almost as soon as it appeared. It seemed that Kurt’s relationship with his dad was everything Blaine had always wished for himself and his father. Instead, he got a parent who couldn’t take on responsibility, incapable of forming anything resembling a loving relationship with his son. Blaine couldn’t even recall a single instance of ever having a civil conversation with his father, not to mention never being told he was loved. All he could remember was drunken rants, pushing the blame for everything onto Blaine, dismissing his feelings and all the symptoms of his illness. There was never anything that Blaine could count on his father for, not for attention, not for love, not for acceptance. Not for anything a child needs. Not for anything Blaine craved and found a semblance of in his grandmother.

‘I hope you’re right,’ Blaine said eventually, trying to shake off the negativity that was forcing dangerously into his mind. He couldn’t and didn’t want to think about any of that now. Now it was a moment for Kurt, and he wanted it to last as long as it could. ‘Any other ideas for tonight?,’ he asked.

***

It was late enough for Central Park to be virtually deserted, probably as peaceful as it ever got in the middle of teaming Manhattan. Fingers intertwined securely, Kurt and Blaine were walking slowly in silence. The sensation of simply being next to each other was enough.

‘I didn’t even know New York could be so peaceful,’ Blaine said after a long while of quiet.

‘It’s rare,’ Kurt agreed, glancing sideways at the contended expression on his boyfriend’s face. ‘So... Are you enjoying our date?’

The word surprised Blaine. It was a date then? It felt like what he imagined a date to feel like, but he hadn’t really stopped to wonder what it really was.

‘Is it a date?’

Kurt stopped in front of Blaine, making him halt as well, and grabbed both his hands in his own.

‘It is. Maybe not the conventional type, but still,’ he said and placed a short kiss on Blaine’s mouth.

Blaine smiled against Kurt’s lips.

‘Yeah, I guess people usually know when they’re going out for a date,’ he joked. ‘But then again, the last time I did know, it turned out bad, so... Let’s keep it unconventional, okay?’

‘I like unconventional,’ Kurt replied, keeping the mood light.

They resumed walking, unconsciously leaving only as much distance between their bodies as holding hands allowed.

‘If this really is a date, then I am enjoying it,’ Blaine said after a moment’s pause. ‘A lot. Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’ Kurt bit his lip in hesitation before adding, ‘But I did kinda go against your wishes with coming to your gig, and all...’

‘I told you I don’t mind,’ Blaine interrupted him.

‘I know,’ Kurt said quickly. ‘But I still don’t think it was exactly fair on my part. I mean, you could’ve been upset when you found out I was there.’

‘That’s true, Blaine agreed, ’but I wasn’t. I feel oddly calm when you’re around.’

Kurt raised his eyebrows in question.

‘Is that good or-?’

‘Definitely good,’ said Blaine with a timid smile. ‘It’s like the alters don’t even want to come out when you’re near me.’

‘Oh.’ Finding words to answer proved to be a challenge. The fact that Blaine basically told him that his presence seemed to keep Blaine’s DID at bay made Kurt’s heart flutter. ‘Then I guess I’ll have to stick around,’ he choked out eventually.

‘I’d like that.’ Blaine’s face was beaming. ‘You know what? I guess you should make it up to me for showing up tonight.’

There was a playful quality to Blaine’s voice, but Kurt scanned his expression suspiciously. It felt like playing truth or dare with a bunch of unpredictable teens.

‘How?’

Blaine bit his lip in hesitation, and suddenly tug at Kurt’s hand, leading him to the nearest bench. They sat down, their bodies angled so that they were facing each other.

‘I want to hear you sing,’ Blaine blurted out.

‘What? Why?,’ Kurt asked, his eyes bulging. ‘How do you even know I can sing?’

‘Didn’t you mention being a national show choir champion?’ Blaine grinned.

‘That is not any proof of being able to sing, though,’ Kurt countered. ‘There was a girl in our glee club when we won that championship that couldn’t sing for the world.’

Blaine sent him a doubtful look.

‘Come on, you are not getting out of this,’ he said. ‘You heard me, so I want to hear you.’

With a purposefully exaggerated pout, Kurt crossed his arms on his chest.

‘This isn’t fair, I haven’t sung in front of anyone, except for Rachel, for years. Plus, I mostly sound like a girl.’

‘I’m sure you sound perfect,’ Blaine encouraged.

Kurt was still feeling a little guilty for going against Blaine’s wishes, even though everything turned out well, but the suggestion to sing, there in Central Park, without background music or anything, was nerve-wrecking. He was miserably out of practice and the thought of making a fool of himself made him shiver. At the same time, he knew Blaine must have felt pretty much the same when Kurt had suggested he should see Blaine performing.

‘Okay, but don’t be disappointed,’ Kurt said reluctantly, searching his mind for a song he knew it would be hard for him to screw up.

‘I couldn’t be.’

Sending Blaine a questioning look, Kurt settled for Being Alive. He’d known the song for as long as he could remember, there was no way for him to forget the lyrics or the melody.

‘Just ignore the fact that I’m so sappy and all,’ he warned uneasily.

‘I like sappy,’ Blaine said, grinning up at him more cheerily than Kurt had ever seen him.

Performing in front of anyone after such a long break would be scary for Kurt, the fact that he was about to sing not only in Blaine’s presence, but actually for Blaine, almost made him freeze. He shifted on the bench, his gaze escaping from Blaine and into the distance. Pushing the awareness of the situation as deep in his mind as possible, he took a deep breath and started to sing.

The first notes came quiet and uncertain, yet beautiful and captivating. Blaine listened with amazement rising within him, not daring to interrupt, so Kurt went on singing, every word meaningful and sung with so much emotion that Blaine’s eyes felt the tiniest bit wetter. Every single note seemed to be touching his heart, and god, that voice was beautiful, probably the most unique, most incredible thing he’d ever heard in his life.

The song ended and silence fell. For another moment Kurt was incapable of turning his head to look at Blaine, but when he finally did, the expression that he saw was one of dumbstruck wonder. There was nothing he could bring himself to say, so he smiled sheepishly, hoping to elicit some response from Blaine.

‘Wow,’ Blaine breathed finally. ‘Why would you ever be scared of singing in front of anyone?’

Kurt shrugged, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

‘Same reason as why you were about me hearing you, I guess.’

***

It was three a.m. when they finally reached Blaine’s apartment that night, giddy from the sweetness of the last few hours. They stopped at the door, leaning lazily at the doorframe, their hands never letting go of one another.

‘Do you have to go?,’ Blaine asked wistfully.

Kurt understood perfectly that Blaine’s mind wasn’t wandering into any uncharted territories; neither wanted to say goodbye. The closeness that came to them so naturally it still took them by surprise was everything they had ever dreamed of, timidly, barely daring to even think they’d ever experience that. Despite the short time they’d spent together, they felt like they’d known each other for years.

‘I do, I have a photoshoot to supervise tomorrow,’ Kurt said regretfully. Cuddling with Blaine seemed much more appealing than going back to his own place and sleeping alone.

‘I wish you didn’t,’ Blaine mumbled, a little embarrassed to be admitting this. All his life he wished he didn’t need anyone, but now there was no denying he plainly needed Kurt.

And the most terrifying thing about it was how completely he didn’t mind that.

‘Me too, but I have to,’ Kurt sighed, pulling out his phone and checking the time. ‘And I have to get up in less than five hours.’

‘Then go, you should get some sleep.’

Blaine’s hand was still firmly locked on Kurt’s, keeping him in place, but Kurt didn’t even make a move to leave.

‘I should,’ Kurt agreed.

He pulled Blaine close, kissing him deeply, trying to remember the feeling as well as he could, until the next time he’d get to do that again. Blaine kissed him back eagerly, his mouth much less timid than it was just yesterday morning.

‘I’ll miss you,’ Kurt whispered.

‘I’ll miss you, too,’ Blaine replied, his heart hammering in his chest at the combination of the confession and the kisses. ‘You should be going.’

‘I know,’ Kurt groaned. ‘Goodnight, Blaine.’

As slowly as they could, they let go of each other’s hands, Blaine stealing one more kiss, and Kurt started down the corridor.

‘Goodnight, Kurt.’

When the door closed behind Blaine, he dropped to the floor, his head spinning. He couldn’t imagine his life being any more beautiful than it was that night.