Letter 9: February 5th

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

(Evanescence – Anywhere)

Blaine was torn by three very different emotions. First of all, he was mad at Kurt for making him get up in the middle of the night, without a word of warning or explanation. He was exhausted as it was. The second feeling, increasing in force with every mile they covered, was curiosity; so far he managed only to make out that they were going west, or maybe north-west. And finally, he was relieved that at least for this short time he could focus on something else than the blasted thing growing inside his head with each passing week.

And while Blaine was trying to decide, whether he was more angry or curious, or relieved, Kurt was eyeing him furtively, a tiny smile dancing on his lips. Obviously, he wasn't truly happy; Blaine's disease was an obstacle to any real happiness for him. But he was excited to give his husband a moment away from the city and the worries, and everyday life. He wanted to give Blaine the best birthday of his life.

They stopped on the outskirts of Binghamton to stretch their legs and get coffee and an early breakfast at a gas station. The clear sky in the east was tinged with yellow, betraying the closeness of dawn. Kurt was leaning on the side of the car, sipping his coffee and watching the day birth on the horizon.

'Are you going to tell me, where we're going exactly?,' Blaine asked, blocking Kurt's view of the sky.

Kurt shook his head.

'No way, it's a surprise.'

Blaine took Kurt's cup out of his hands to put it on the roof of the car. When there was no longer any hot beverage in the way, he stepped a little closer to his husband, propping his hands on both sides of Kurt, trapping him.

'Come on,' he said a second before his lips touched Kurt's. The kiss was returned, becoming more and more passionate with each second.

Until finally, Kurt recoiled, giving Blaine a slight push on the chest.

'I'm not telling you.'

'Maybe I'll drive now and you'll have to tell me?'

'You can't drive, you know that.' He grimaced; he had promised himself not to mention Blaine's illness at all during their little excursion. 'It's a surprise, so you can't know.'

Blaine pouted, but stepped back.

And soon they were in the car again, speeding further and further inland.

'We're going to Niagara Falls, right?,' Blaine almost squealed, once they crossed the Canadian border.

'Close.'

Blaine bit his lip; Kurt was now too focused on the road to pay more attention to him. After all, he had never been there before, and he didn't want to get lost in the middle of snowy nowhere.

Within an hour they stopped in a parking lot of a small hotel.

'Here we are.'

Blaine looked around, and saw nothing but the hotel and a few cars scattered on the lot.

'Which is where exactly?'

'St. Catharines. I guess it would be nicer in the spring with all the parks green and all that, but you had to have your birthday in February, so…' Kurt grimaced in feigned discontent.

'But there are falls here, right?,' asked Blaine hopefully.

'Sure, silly. We're going to Niagara Falls, and DeCew Falls, and everything else you want, don't you worry.'

And they spent the whole weekend taking long walks in the snowy parks, admiring the rushing falls, and spending long February nights cuddled together in bed. It felt like a second honeymoon, with the thoughts of Blaine's illness and impending death pushed far into the backs of their minds.

Kurt's eyes were glued to the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall. He'd been stirring his coffee for at least five minutes, but he didn't fully realize it.

February fifth.

Until last year, there was always a red heart drawn around the five in the calendar. Kurt wouldn't forget, but he liked emphasizing how special the day was for him; the day his other half came into this world to give him his love and the happiness he'd always longed for.

But now there was not heart, the calendar seemed empty. The house was still and silent, save for the clinking of Kurt's spoon in the coffee mug.

Finally, he managed to remove his gaze from the sad page on the wall and onto the envelope lying on the kitchen table.

This time the envelope was different; it was of a slightly different shape, more square than rectangular, bluish in colour and adorned with the emblem of the hotel they had stayed at in St. Catharines. Slowly he ripped the letter open.

Darling, darling Kurt,

I can honestly say this has been the greatest birthday gift anyone has ever given me. Honey, you are the perfect husband. Have I ever told you that before? If not, I'm fixing that mistake right now.

I'm not even mad anymore about not getting my beauty sleep on Friday. Everything here made it up to me.

By the way, do you know how cute you look when you're asleep? I can barely concentrate on writing this, because you're lying there, just a few feet away. Your skin seems golden in the light… A truly exquisite view, I assure you.

Anyhow, I wish there were more birthdays like this one coming. But still, at this moment, I'm simply happy that I got to spend this one here with you.

I love you,

Blaine.