Letter 19: September 26th

So take care what you ask of me
Cause I can't say no

(Evanescence – Good Enough)

Blaine entered the apartment, frowning. He was beginning to wonder whether he forgot about a date they'd set up, but couldn't recall anything of the sort. Yet, for some reason, almost every available surface that wasn't the floor was densely stacked with candles of all shapes and sizes, while a blanket was spread over a patch of the wooden flooring. It apparently was meant to serve as a picnic spot, as plates and glasses surrounded a centrally placed slim vase that held a single red rose.

'Hey, you,' Kurt's voice came from the unilluminated kitchen space, causing Blaine to jump up a little.

'Hey,' he smiled, even though his forehead was still furrowed with confusion. 'What's all this?' He motioned towards the carefully prepared indoor picnic.

Kurt took a step in his boyfriend's direction, and Blaine noticed a bottle in his hand.

'Dinner. I'm taking advantage of having this place all to ourselves,' Kurt explained, his gaze wandering somewhere over the floor.

Blaine put his satchel aside, careful not to knock over any of the candles, and sat down on the blanket. He kept watching Kurt as he was dishing out their dinner, and admired his soft movements. Kurt would glance at him from time to time, sending him a little smile, that had an air of being slightly… nervous? Uncertain?

His suspicion there was something more to this surprise date was growing with each minute. And even though it was impossible not to enjoy each of those minutes – the food, the affectionate gazes, the conversation, the occasional kisses – Blaine was starting to wonder what it could mean. But at the same time, he wouldn't let himself think the one reason why Kurt could definitely go to such great lengths, just not to get his hopes up.

The dinner was followed with a chocolate soufflé, which clearly made Kurt incredibly proud of himself. With the first bite, Blaine thought that he had every right to. But before he could finish the dessert something caught his eye in the centre of his small ceramic bowl. He could swear something glinted in the candlelight. His eyebrows pulling together, he stabbed the centre of his soufflé with his spoon. It clank before hitting the bottom.

'Kurt?,' he asked, looking up at his boyfriend. 'Is there something in my soufflé?'

Kurt was strangely silent since the moment he placed the dessert in front of Blaine, and now flushed scarlet, torn between embarrassment and excitement.

'Um, maybe you should check what it is,' he suggested, mumbling.

Still frowning, Blaine pushed his fingers unceremoniously into the soufflé. They grasped at something hard and circular, and resembling… Oh. My. God. He hurriedly jerked his hand out of the brown mass.

Without a doubt, clutched between his thumb and index finger was a simple thin silver ring, caked with chocolate soufflé. Blaine wiped the sweet grime off the ring, revealing an inscription on the inside. It said Kurt & Blaine in a slender fancy font.

'Kurt, is this…?' He raised his eyes at Kurt, words failing him. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was scolding himself for acting like a silly girl in an even sillier movie.

Kurt nodded vigorously, turning paler than ever, horror rising in his expression.

'Will you marry me?,' he blurted out. His heart was beating so hard he was certain Blaine could hear it.

But Blaine was too preoccupied by piecing his thoughts back together into a coherent stream, and pinching himself on the arm with his free hand. He swallowed when it hurt.

'Are you kidding me?,' he choked out, causing Kurt to hold his breath. Seeing his reaction was entirely misunderstood, he added, 'I mean, yes, yes, of course I will!'

Kurt exhaled with a puff, colour returning to his cheeks, and smile to his lips.

'Really?'

'Sure, silly.' Blaine leaned over to grab his new fiancé in a hug and kiss him. 'But I have one condition.'

Kurt shrugged out of the embrace to look at Blaine. He was hoping for no "buts".

'What condition?,' he asked warily.

'I don't want to be one of those couples who get engaged and wait until they both graduate, or until they have a house, or whatever. I want to be your husband as soon as possible.'

Kurt's forehead furrowed, as his mind began to sort through their options.

'I guess we could try and get a spot tomorrow, but I bet Dad would want to be there… And Carole. And Rachel would kill me, if she didn't get to be there,' he began.

Blaine chuckled, trying to signal Kurt to stop speaking.

'I don't necessarily mean tomorrow,' he said. 'But maybe let's say we get married within a year. What do you think?'

Relief washed over Kurt, and his face lit up. That prospect was definitely a good one; he'd have enough time to pull off a truly fabulous wedding, and they both deserved that.

'I like that.' He smiled. 'So… In a year you'll be my husband?'

'Definitely.' Blaine slipped the still sticky ring onto his finger.

***

Kurt had been standing over the sink for a good five minutes, his eyes only averting from the wedding band held between the tips of his fingers to the engagement ring that was still in its usual place. He was examining every millimeter of the white gold and the silver, every tiny scratch on the surface.

It was curious, eerie even, that the wedding band chose to slip from his finger, almost falling right down the drain and into the New York sewers, on this exact days. As if a supernatural force was behind it. The idea of a divine, or satanic intervention was discarded without a second thought; Kurt never believed in any of this, and he wasn't about to start now. His belief system had been long since established, and if there had ever been a chance of it changing, it definitely wasn't over a ring slipping off his finger.

But it still held him up at the sink, immersed in his thoughts so deeply, the entire world seemed to have stopped turning. It was just Kurt, the rings, and the words of the last letter resounding in his mind as if they weren't written down, but spoken by his husband.

Kurt found it ominous that Blaine chose to say those things on that precise day; obviously, it made sense, as it was the anniversary of their engagement. The contents of the letter hadn't left his mind for even a second since morning, when he had reluctantly, very slowly and carefully, opened the last cream-coloured envelope and unfolded the piece of paper from inside with his eyes squeezed shut.

The handwriting had been growing less and less neat in the last few letters, this time verging on undecipherable.

Darling, darling Kurt,

We all know it's not going to be long now. I can't even express how much I wish I could change this, prolong this even, suffer another year of hospitals and chemo, just so I wouldn't leave you. Or, the more selfish version, so that I could have you by my side just a little bit longer.

I hope, no, I know you made sure I was buried with my engagement and wedding rings on. If I ever had any wishes about my funeral, it was to be forever marked as yours. Nothing else matters.

But I don't require you to do the same. You have to go on with your life. I understand that, I would never want you to give up on yourself because of me. So take those rings off, whenever you feel ready. I don't mind. There are so many men that would kill just to be with you, don't keep them away with ties that are no longer. Not in this world, anyway. Because I know that what we have – or should I say had? For you it should be past tense, I guess – goes beyond this world. No matter if there is another one, we are stronger than death, aren't we? And if there is another world to go to when we leave this one, we're going to be bound there, too, I'm sure of that. And I bet rings don't mean much there, do they? We're connected by links that are harder to break than precious metals.

So don't be afraid to take them off. But only when you're ready. You always have to be ready.

I love you. I always will.

Blaine.

Kurt replayed the final words of the letter one more time, and sighed. Carefully, he slipped the wedding band back onto his finger, just above the thin silver engagement ring.

Yes, he was going to take them off. Someday. Just not yet.