Letter 18: August 23rd

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

(Evanescence – My Last Breath)

'Cold feet?,' Burt Hummel asked his son, as Kurt was peeking into the room packed full of wedding guests.

Kurt turned around, rolling his eyes at his father. They were both wearing classic black tuxedos, Kurt with a pink carnation in his lapel – identical to the flower in Blaine's, and to those at his junior prom at McKinley High.

'Absolutely not,' he said, smoothing out his tux jacket. 'I've been waiting for this day my whole life, I'm not going to chicken out. Not so sure Blaine isn't, though.'

He bit his lip, his forehead creasing in worry.

Burt smiled gently, putting an arm around his son's shoulders.

'Come on, he's crazy about you. You'll be after your I dos in no time.' He paused, as Kurt nodded vigorously. 'Ready?'

Initially, the plan was that both Kurt and Blaine be led to the altar by their fathers. But Mr Anderson had refused to give Blaine away at the altar, calling the idea ludicrous, which hurt Blaine and angered Kurt. It was then decided that Burt would walk his son to his fiancé and the minister, as he saw nothing wrong with it whatsoever. He was as proud as ever to be Kurt's father.

Mr and Mrs Anderson showed up, though unwillingly, and were now sitting in the first row, somewhat uncomfortable. They barely knew anyone from amongst the guests, even though the boys had taken care to invite only close friends and family, which made up the relatively small group of about fifty people.

Cooper was sitting next to his parents, but unlike them, he was beaming at his little brother, flashing his ridiculously white teeth.

Seeing the smile on his brother's face made Blaine feel a little bit better. Although he knew exactly what was going to happen and that Kurt would definitely say "I do" without as much as a second's delay, he was still truly anxious about the whole ceremony. The palms of his hands were sweaty and he was beginning to fear the ring would slip from his finger once Kurt puts it on.

Finally, the door at the end of the aisle opened, causing all heads to turn in that direction. Kurt couldn't help but smile as he saw the beautifully decorated room, with the pale pink and white roses adorning all the benches, and – most of all – his fiancé standing in front of the altar with a sheepish disbelieving smile on his face.

***

They were swirling on the dance floor, Teenage Dream bursting out of the speakers, Rachel beaming as she was singing their song. Their smiles hadn't faded even for a fracture of a second since they exchanged their I dos, both finally relieved that the other didn't change his mind in the last minute. They were husbands, they were more in love than ever before, and practically exploding from all the happiness.

Their friends and the Hudson-Hummels watched them with similar grins on their faces, thinking – without exception – that they were the most beautiful couple in the entire world and that they were simply meant to be. There was nobody who could make Kurt happier than Blaine could, and vice versa. The Andersons were sitting at one of the front tables, shifting uncomfortably as they watched the other guests; they were nowhere near as happy about this wedding, and no one would be able to persuade them Kurt was the only one for their son or that the newly married couple was beautiful at all. They were Republicans from start to finish, and no matter how many states had gradually introduced marriage equality, they still resented the idea of their gay son getting married legally. They had managed to accept the situation enough to be civil to Kurt, but weren't thrilled to be able to call him their son-in-law.

The song came to a close, and the newlyweds stopped dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Kurt rested his forehead on Blaine's, closing his eyes and relishing the moment.

'You really are a dream to me, you know?,' he breathed, before opening his eyes and planting a kiss on his husband's lips.

'And you to me,' Blaine answered, as he led them back to their table.

As they were sitting down, a clink of metal on glass pierced the room. Finn stood up, raising his glass of champagne and facing the happy couple with a huge grin plastered on his face.

'A few years ago I was an only child,' he began, looking straight at his step-brother. 'But then my Mom met Burt, and I got a brother. And I have to say, I really used to like not having siblings. Until I got Kurt for a brother. Nothing can be better than having a brother like you, Kurt.' The corners of Kurt's lips arched even higher. 'I've learnt so much from you, bro, and I'm so happy to be here now, as your best man at your wedding, being able to call you my brother.'

Finn paused for a moment, as he turned his gaze to Blaine.

'I used to be an only child for most of my life. Then I got Kurt, and now… Now I'm getting another brother. Step-brother-in-law, but still, a brother. You're the best thing that ever happened to Kurt and I know that no one could ever make him happier. So, Blaine,' he raised the glass a tiny bit higher, 'welcome to the family. And don't screw this up.'

The guests chuckled and drank the toast. But Finn didn't sit down, keeping his eyes fixed on Blaine.

'I know, Kurt, you want him all to yourself, but you're gonna have to spare him for a moment,' he spoke again, one corner of his mouth curling higher than the other in a playful smile. 'But I wouldn't miss out on an occasion to dance with both of the grooms.' He paused, stepping away from his table. 'Blaine, bro, may I?'

Finn extended his hand to Blaine, who willingly took it, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. They went out onto the dance floor as the song began to play. The exact same one as on Carole and Burt's wedding.

Kurt's heart warmed up. And he'd thought it was impossible to be even happier.

***

Kurt and Finn were just crossing Central Park on the way to lunch. They had promised each other years ago to always be able to meet for lunch at least once a month, no matter how busy they were. In the months since Blaine's death they never skipped their lunch, even though Kurt was usually absent-minded and would excuse himself with work to leave early. His brother didn't press him to talk about his husband or his grief, knowing that if Kurt wanted to spill his guts, he would do it without obnoxious prodding on Finn's part.

But today, Finn was slightly more worried about his little brother than usually. The tenth anniversary of Kurt and Blaine's wedding wasn't every day, after all.

Three of the old-fashioned carriages passed them on their way through the park. Finn kept on glancing at Kurt furtively, expecting him to burst into tears, or at least look away from the horses and smiling people in the carriages. But instead, he followed each of them with his gaze, a tiny smile arranging his features.

Finn was beginning to think Kurt had suddenly gone crazy, and his concern was growing with each minute.

'Kurt?,' he said finally to draw his attention away from the carriages.

'Hm?' Another carriage appeared in front of them, Kurt's preoccupied smile widening a little.

'Are you all right? You seem a bit- I don't know- strange?'

Kurt frowned, looking at his brother at last. Finn was definitely worried, but Kurt couldn't understand what the reason could be.

'Why would you say that?,' he asked, confused.

Finn averted his eyes, trying to figure out a subtle way to explain the source of his concern. He couldn't find a better way than to say as it was.

'Because it's your- your anniversary. And you're smiling.'

The lines on Kurt's forehead deepened; he still couldn't get his brother's point.

'Yeah, so what? It was the happiest day of my life, why wouldn't I be smiling? And those carriages… They look exactly like the one we went from the registry office to the venue in. That one's practically identical!' He pointed at the carriage that was just passing them.

Now it was Finn's turn to be bewildered.

'So… You're alright?'

Kurt smiled faintly.

'Yes, I'm alright.'

And his hand wondered automatically to the letter stacked into his pocket. He really was alright.

***

Darling, darling Kurt,

It's such a special day today, it will be even more special when you read this, a year from now. I don't know about you, I never really asked you, but our wedding day was the best, happiest, most perfect, most wonderful, most magical day of my entire life.

And it's not just about the fact that I got married to the most amazing human being in existence (that'd be you, if you haven't caught on, honey!), I also got a bonus: I got a family.

You know my parents, my brother, and the few other relatives that would talk to me or them. They never truly felt like family to me. They're just people I happen to share some of my DNA with. I hadn't had a family before I met you. It's you who gave me the feeling of being home, for the first time in my life. And thanks to you I have a group of friends that are so much more than friends, and I love them all, despite their crazy (yes, I mean Rachel. And Santana. And Brittany.)

And then, when we married, it all became official; I have a real, loving, caring family. The kind of family I have always wished to have. Burt, Carole, Finn – they are so much dearer to me than my own father, mother and brother.

And, last but not least, I've had the honor to be your husband for nine amazing years. It pains me to write this, and I suppose you won't be thrilled to read this, but I sort of hope there will be some other guy that you will make as happy as you made me. Someday. Maybe not now. Maybe not for a long time. But you're full of love and kindness, and it would be a shame not to share it with someone worthy of it. Probably more worthy than I ever was.

But remember, I will be yours forever. Nothing can really separate us, not even death.

I love you,

Blaine.