The rest of September passed fairly quickly and Kurt discovered a pattern as time went by. He’d wake up and pick out an outfit that, day by day, revealed a little bit more about who he used to be and who he still was, even if he was too scared to show anyone other than his dad. Then, he would get dropped off at school and he’d stop by his locker to pick up his books before going to Chemistry.

Every day he sat down next to Rachel and they made small talk or more often, Rachel talked and Kurt listened. He’d never admit it out loud, but he was fond of Rachel. She had ambition that was contagious and he admired that quality in her. She wasn’t so bad.

When the hour was up he’d make his way to U.S. History and take his seat beside Blaine. As the days past, he got used to Blaine flicking pieces of paper at him or his desk. He even got accustomed to the sexual jokes Blaine constantly sent his way. After finding out that Kurt wouldn’t have a panic attack every time he tried to talk to him Blaine grew more confident and was constantly finding ways to push Kurt’s nerves. He’d move his chair closer to Kurt’s and sometimes he’d even wrap one his feet around Kurt’s chair.

At first, these little actions made Kurt tense up with fear, but once he figured out that Blaine wasn’t going to stop he started to ignore it as best he could. He was happy to discover that he didn’t panic when Blaine moved closer to his side. It helped that Blaine never smelled like cigarette smoke after that first day in class.

Curiously, Blaine never seemed to push closer than just sitting close to Kurt. With all the jokes Blaine made, he half expected him to be wrapping his arm around his waist or pushing too far into his personal space, but he never did.

He was close, but not too close.

It wasn’t until one Friday in mid-October that Kurt realized how much he’d gotten used to Blaine being so close to him throughout most of his day.

***

      “And he wouldn’t stop sneezing on me! It was disgusting. Eventually Pa banished him to his room for the weekend,” Rachel rambled on during their free time at the end of Chemistry.

      Kurt had only been paying half attention to what Rachel was saying, but he perked up at that. “Who was sneezing on you?”

      “Blaine,” Rachel said, giving Kurt a look that showed how annoyed she was that he wasn’t listening to her. “He’s sick, stuck in bed with a fever,” she continued.

      “Oh.” Kurt felt a rush of disappoint wash through him.

      “So have you picked your song for glee yet?” Rachel asked. They were assigned to pick Halloween songs to sing for the next week, seeing as it was nearing the end of October.

      “Um, no not yet. I’m sure you have though,” Kurt said, still distracted thinking about Blaine.

      “Of course I did, although I’m stuck between…”

      Kurt didn’t even hear the rest of Rachel’s words as he wondered when Blaine would be coming back to school. It was Friday and if he got better over the weekend then the earliest he’d see him would be Monday. Frowning Kurt tried to figure out why that upset him so much.

      As the day progressed he only seemed to get more moody. Blaine wasn’t there in U.S. History to bother him with his dumb jokes and stupid innuendos. The space at the desk beside his was empty and he hated it.

      By the time lunch rolled around, Kurt was getting antsy. His leg bounced sporadically under the table and he could hardly chew his lunch, it just wouldn’t settle in his stomach. It wasn’t until he glanced up and scanned the crowded cafeteria that he realized why he was so on-edge. His eyes landed on Karofsky, who was glaring at him from across the room. Swallowing, Kurt quickly ducked his head and looked down at his food, refusing to look up for the rest of lunch, even when Rachel asked if he was okay.

      He managed to avoid the gang of red till the end of the day. He should have guessed Karofsky would know he would be headed to Glee Club after his last class of the day. Still, the shove into the locker surprised him and made him gasp, his heart skipping a beat.

      “Fag,” Karofsky spit out as he loomed over Kurt. “Your little protector isn’t here today,” he sneered.

      Kurt sunk down to the ground and cowered, trying his hardest to stay in the moment, trying to fight the panic clawing it’s way up.

      “Kurt!”

      He didn’t think he’d ever been more relieved to hear the sound of Rachel’s voice.

      “Excuse you, what is your problem?” the little diva asked as she stormed up to Karofsky and planted her little feet firmly between Kurt and the bully that was roughly three times her size.

      Despite the obvious physical advantage Karofsky had he took a step back. “Little fairy here keeps checking me out,” he said with a glare.

      “If anyone were to check you out, JockStrap, they’d return you.”

      Kurt looked to the end of the hallway to see Santana making her way over to them. Karofsky seemed to realize he wasn’t going to win this one and he began to back away, his teammates following him, but not before sending glares their way.

      Rachel kneeled down beside Kurt and touched his knee gently, “don’t pay any attention to them, Kurt. They’re just jealous of our talent.”

      Santana scoffed at that, but Rachel ignored it.

      Looking between his two rescuers, Kurt calmed slightly. “T-thanks.”

      “Don’t sweat it, RosyCheeks,” Santana said with a shrug before she turned on her heel and headed back to Glee Club with a careless ‘hurry up’ thrown over her shoulder.

      “Rosy Cheeks?” Kurt asked as he reached up to touch his cheek after Rachel helped him up.

      “Not those cheeks,” he heard Santana yell back.

      Kurt blushed furiously and let Rachel pull him along to Glee Club.

***

      Kurt managed to distract himself through the weekend and was relieved when Blaine was back the following Monday, as if he’d never left. It felt like a puzzle piece was slotting into place. Of course, Kurt didn’t admit that to anyone, not even himself.

      “Rachel, um. Rachel said you were sick last Friday,” Kurt said after working up the nerve to talk to Blaine during their History class. He didn’t even know why he was so nervous about starting up a conversation.

      “Yeah, bad fever.” Blaine was doodling in his notebook and gave Kurt a glance.

      “That’s um… that’s too bad,” Kurt mumbled, unable to come up with anything better to say.

      Blaine seemed to catch on that Kurt was nervous and he stopped what he was doing, looking over at Kurt. “Did you… miss me?” Blaine asked, his voice getting louder and a smirk making its way onto his lips.

      “No,” Kurt said indignantly, his blush giving him away.

      “You did. You totally missed me,” Blaine said. “Aw, that’s cute. I missed your tight ass, too, baby.”

      Gasping slightly at the crude comment Kurt smacked Blaine on the arm and tried his best to glare at Blaine.

      Shaking his head and trying to contain his laughter Kurt forced himself to look forward, staring at the board where the notes they were supposed to be copying down were.

“Don’t be so upset, everyone comes around eventually,” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear making him shiver.

Kurt kept his gaze resolutely facing forward, refusing to give Blaine the satisfaction of seeing how affected he was.

As the day went by, Blaine seemed to be gloating with the knowledge that Kurt had basically admitted to missing him. He sat a little closer to Kurt when they had lunch, teasing him the whole time and stealing little pieces of his food. Kurt tried to act like he was upset, but it got harder to hide his smiles as Blaine continued to act, annoying but nonetheless endearing.

He couldn’t help but be reminded of little kids in kindergarten. The little boy always bugged the girl to death when he had a crush on her, right? Maybe Blaine…

Kurt stopped that thought before it could go too far. Blaine wasn’t someone he should get involved with and he knew that. While he put on a strong exterior and came from a good family, Kurt still didn’t know what Blaine did when he wasn’t with Kurt or his family. From what he’d learned from Rachel, Blaine was hardly at home except for family dinners and to sleep. The rest of the time he was just… out. He’d heard through the grape vine of rumors that entangled McKinley that he often skipped class and either smoked behind the bleachers or went about defacing empty rooms.

He’d also heard from a credible source that Blaine had a tendency to get himself into fights. Apparently he’d taken on a rather burly college football player at a local bar once. Every rumor seemed to pull his perception of Blaine in the opposite direction of the Blaine he saw every day.

Kurt knew that Blaine was a straight ‘A’ student, nearly every test he’d taken in their U.S. History class came back with a 95% or better. And after asking Rachel about it, she’d shrugged and told him that neither of them had ever gotten below a ‘B-‘ on any of their assignments.
      So how did the resident badboy who seemingly barely showed up to his classes, ace almost every assignment thrown his way.

“I know I’m attractive, but if you really want to stare so much, maybe I could get you a picture? I’d even sign it for you if you asked nicely,” Blaine said as he nudged Kurt’s side lightly, his eyes dancing with arrogance.

Kurt blinked and snapped back to the present as he realized he’d been staring at Blaine shamelessly as he got lost in his thoughts. Blushing a deep red Kurt lowered his head.

Blaine smiled and let it go, “You better eat some more, we’ve only got ten more minutes left of lunch,” he reminded as he glanced down at Kurt’s mostly full tray.

Glancing up and giving Blaine a small, thankful smile Kurt went back to his meal. His blush was just fading when the bell rang to signal the end of lunch.

“I’ll be sure to get that picture to you real soon,” Blaine offered with a smirk before disappearing down the hallway. Kurt blushed again and hurried off to his next period class. He had to be careful about stroking Blaine’s ego like that, otherwise it’d soon become unbearable to even stay in the same room as him.

***

      “So things went well through the end of October?” Henry asked, having to look at his notes to figure out where they’d left off.

      Kurt nodded, “Yeah, everyone sang their songs for glee and they all went out to a Halloween party.”

      “Did you go to the party?”

      “No… I wasn’t allowed. My dad wasn’t comfortable with it, so I just stayed home,” Kurt said as he clasped his hands.

      Henry raised an eyebrow, “Just like that?”

      “Yes, just like that,” Kurt said, praying that he wouldn’t blush and give it away.

      “You know,” Henry said as he took off his glasses, “I won’t tell your dad anything that you tell me unless it’s important to your health.”

      Kurt bit his lip. “I may have... snuck out of the house. For a little bit,” he said slowly.

      Henry nodded, “And how was the party.

      Shrugging Kurt tried to think of a way to describe it. “Pretty boring actually. Puck brought alcohol and everyone was drinking except for Mike and I; he was driving everyone home.”

      “You weren’t drinking?” Henry asked, slightly surprised.

      “No, I had a bad experience with alcohol when I was about nine, I thought my dads drink was apple juice. Turns out it was beer. I spent the day throwing up,” Kurt said. “After that, I’ve kinda avoided any kind of alcohol.

      “Like I said, it was pretty boring. Everyone got drunk and danced and sang. I mostly just sat around and watched.”

      “Was Blaine there?” Henry asked curiously.

      “No, he was not,” Kurt said, fighting a blush.

      “Alright. So October passed and everything was okay. What happened at the beginning of November?”

      Kurt took a deep breath, “More of the same,” Kurt said, glad they were finally catching up to the present day stuff that was happening.

      “Anything stand out? More attacks?” Henry asked.

      “Not quite yet, but it’s getting worse,” Kurt said slowly.

      “How is it getting worse?”

      “It took me awhile to figure out, but I finally realized that Blaine acts sort of… as my protector. The jocks don’t bother me when he’s there.” Kurt looked down at his hands and spoke quietly.

      “But Blaine’s been… acting strangely.”

      “Is he hurting you?”

      “No, nothing like that. He’s just been moody and he stares off into space. And sometimes it’s almost like he’s ignoring me.” He tried to hide the hurt in his voice. “He’ll sit next to me, but he hardly ever teases me anymore and when he does he seems to realize what he’s doing and then he clams up and stays quiet.”

      “Is he acting like this to anyone else?” Dr. Dalton asked.

      Kurt shook his head, “No, it’s just me.”

      “Well, Kurt, I really can’t help you with this one. It’s something Blaine needs to work out on his own.”

      “You know what’s going on with him?” he asked, looking over at Henry.

      “It sounds to me like he’s having an internal battle with himself, give it some time and I’m sure he’ll figure it out himself. But if you’re really concerned about it, I’d try talking to him. You still haven’t opened up to anyone about your past. Including me. So maybe talking with him will allow you to confide in him,” Henry folded his hands over his clipboard as he spoke.

      “And don’t think I haven’t noticed that this recount of your time at McKinley is an excuse for you to not talk about what happened back in July,” Henry said.

      “I just need some more time,” Kurt said, voice faint and slightly panicked at being found out.

      “You have as much time as you need, but you can only hold this off for so long. Sooner or later you’re going to have to talk about it,” the doctor warned.

      Nodding solemnly, Kurt squeezed his hands together, “I’m working on it. I promise I am.”

      “I’m sure you are, Kurt. Just heed my warning and be cautious.”

***

      November 27th was a very bad day. In retrospect, Kurt should have known that Henry’s warning should have been placed at the top of his list-of-important-things-that-need-to-be-addressed-immediately, but he was becoming an expert at procrastinating. But this time, it wasn’t going to wait for him any longer.

      One of the first clues that it was going to be a bad day was Blaine’s absence during their second period class. Kurt tried to shrug it off as Blaine being late or something like that, but when class ended and Kurt made his way to his locker and he saw Blaine leaving the boys locker room, his hair damp, he knew Blaine has skipped on purpose. He roughly opened his locker and grabbed his textbook, the hurt turning into anger.

      The sharp jab into the middle of his back made him gasp and cry out before he was body-checked into his open locker. His cheek slammed into the jagged edge of the locker, the skin splitting open. Kurt cupped his cheek as he fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. He hardly noticed it when the jocks sent a few well-rehearsed phrases his way. He was too busy getting swept into the past.

***

      Rough hands were pinning him down. He tried to struggle but it was no use. The weight was pressing down into him and he tried to hide his whimpers because he knew that would only encourage him.

      “Come on, baby, don’t be like that.”

      He shook his head back and forth frantically. He didn’t want the foreign hands on him. He tried to kick out against his attacker, but he only received a hard punch to his gut for that.

      “Don’t go trying to escape on me now,” the voice warned roughly, grunting when Kurt managed to rip a hand free from the mans grasp and claw at his cheek. The man growled and Kurt sobbed as he felt the blinding pain across his cheek, the sound of the slap coming after the fact. His vision swam from the hit.

      “P-please,” he begged through his tears.

      The man above him pressed closer and all Kurt could smell was cigarette smoke. The ground beneath him was rough and a rock was digging into the middle of his back painfully.

      “You’ll regret that,” the man growled as he wiped the blood from the wound Kurt had given him right below his eye.

***

      November 27th was the day Kurt made a very dumb mistake. Since Blaine had been around to hold off the bullies, he hadn’t been trigged and he hated taking unnecessary pills. November 27th was the first day Kurt decided not to take his anti-anxiety pill.