Without You, Beside You
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Chapter 8 ~ You Can't Save Me Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
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Without You, Beside You: Chapter 8 ~ You Can't Save Me


E - Words: 2,472 - Last Updated: Mar 16, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Mar 18, 2012 - Updated: Mar 16, 2013
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Blaine had set up a single mic at the front of the room and Kurt noticed the band with electric guitars and Finn setting up behind the drums.

      This can’t be good, Kurt thought to himself.

      Sending Kurt a quick glance Blaine turned and counted out the beginning to the band before the guitar and drums started up.

      Blaine grinned and gripped the micstand, hands curling around it.

      Can he even sing? Kurt wondered.

 

Had a bad day, don't talk to me,

gonna ride this out,

My little black heart, breaks apart,

with your big mouth.

 

      Yes, he can. Kurt’s eyebrows shot up as he listened to the slight rasp and draw to Blaine’s voice. It sounded… good. Kurt blushed and glanced around at the others around him, as if they could possibly hear his thoughts.

 

And I'm sick of my sickness

Don't touch me, you'll get this.

I'm useless, lazy, perverted,

and you hate me.

 

      Kurt’s eyes were drawn back to Blaine in time to lock gazes with him. Blaine’s eyes were dark and humor danced through the chocolate color as he sang the last two lines of that verse. Kurt blushed even harder and tried to imagine that Rachel wasn’t glancing back and forth between her brother and him frantically mouth gaping like a fish.

      Blaine bent his knees, walking the mic down to an angle as he sang the chorus. His eyes closed as rocked out, loving the thrill of performing.

 

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wakeup call,

And everything, everything's my fault.

 

      Blaine stood the mic back up and opened his eyes as he sang softer, his hands running up and down the metal of the micstand.

 

Went to the doctor, and I asked her,

to make this stop. (whoa)

Got medication, a new addiction,

Thanks a lot.

 

I had to relapse, I'm bad at rehabs

It ruins everything. (whoa)

So point your finger, at the singer,

He's in the pharmacy.

 

      Kurt couldn’t help but be completely mesmerized by Blaine. The leather jacket, crazy curls all over his head screamed badboy and mixed with the song, Kurt could barely stand it. It was… sexy.

 

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,

and everything's my fault.

 

      This energy Kurt couldn’t quite describe swept over Blaine as he sang. His leg was going crazy, jerking to the beat as he almost yelled the words into the mic at points, but never lost the perfect pitch or tone. Kurt was envious that Blaine could put on such a performance. He glanced around the room again and noticed everyone rocking out, even some blond girl was banging her head to the beat, her ponytail going wild.

 

You can't save me,

You can't blame me,

Well I'm waiting here to take a fall,

and everything, and everything's my fault.

 

      Blaine cupped the mic as he sang into it, his eyes clenched shut and his back hunching forward a little as if he was caressing the song and just letting it go. He was so lost in the song that Kurt didn’t think he was ever coming back.

 

And I'm a death threat haven't slept yet,

Baby why the wake up call

I'm the bad boy tell the tabloids

everything's my fault.

 

Whoa whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,

Whoa Whoa whoa everything's my fault,

everything's my fault.

 

      The song slowed down a little bit more and Blaine opened his eyes once again, danger and fire swimming in his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and Kurt’s wide eyes locked on the movement. His heart was beating rapidly and his cheeks were slightly flushed. Is this even school appropriate?

      Kurt glanced back at Mr. Schue and only saw him grinning and enjoying the performance like everyone else.

 

I went to heaven, but couldn't get in,

For what I have done.

I said please take me, they said you're crazy

you had too much fun.

 

      Blaine caught Kurt’s gaze again as he sang the next chorus, softer. Kurt swallowed and stared back at Blaine like a deer caught in headlights.

 

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,

and everything's my fault.

 

You can't save me,

You can't blame me,

Well I'm waiting here to take a fall,

and everything, everything's my fault.

 

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Everything's my fault.

 

      Blaine’s voice trailed off and the guitar was the last thing playing before it finally stopped too. Blaine was breathing a bit heavier, his hair more messed up then usual and he grinned as the class stood and cheered for him.

      Kurt could swear he heard the Latina girl behind him say, “That was so hot. Brit, why haven’t we slept with him yet?”

      Apparently, Kurt heard right because Rachel swung around and glared at Santana. “Because that’s my brother! You cannot sleep with him! Plus, he’s gay,” Rachel hissed.

      “Nobody can resist us,” Santana sneered back. “Besides, you don’t own him, he can make his own decisions.”

      Rachel scoffed and turned back around.

      Kurt focused back on Blaine who was being welcomed into the glee club by Mr. Schue just as he had been a few minutes ago. Blaine glanced over at him with a smirk curling his lips up and Kurt cursed the blush that snuck all the way up his neck to his cheeks.

      It didn’t take long for Rachel to get excited about the prospect of having two new members to Glee Club, soon she was talking Kurt’s ear off about all the things they could do and oh, Kurt! We can sing Barbra and Patti together! Oh just think of all the songs!

      Needless to say, Kurt was a little bit relieved when the meeting ended and he was allowed to leave. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to Rachel. How did Blaine live with her?

      Kurt blushed as he thought of Blaine again, that performance was certainly… something.

      Pushing those thoughts away Kurt went outside to get picked up by his dad. He’d texted his dad earlier that he’d need to be picked up an hour later than usual because he was joining a club. He hadn’t said anything more than that so when he climbed into the truck Burt gave his son a look that said out with it.

      “I joined Glee Club,” Kurt said as he sat back and buckled himself in.

      “Glee Club? They still have those things these days?” he asked confused.

      “Yes, Dad.”

      “Huh. So I guess you’re settling in okay?” he asked as he drove them home.

      “Yeah, Dad. It’s… good.” Kurt chose to look out the window at the houses they passed rather than look at his father. Sure, it could be worse, Kurt thought, but it still wasn’t his idea of a perfect world.

 

 

***

     

“So auditions went well and you joined a new club. I’ve got to say, Kurt, I’m impressed. That’s a big step for you to have taken so early in the transition between schools,” Henry said as he made a quick note in the folder.

“Thank you?” Kurt asked slightly confused it that was really a compliment he could appreciate.

Henry laughed, “Sorry, you just have a lot of determination and will power for someone your age. It’s impressive.”

Nodding in understanding Kurt said thanks again, this time with conviction.

“So, you joined Glee Club. How has that been since then?” Henry asked.

“Well, it was a struggle at first to get used to…”

 

 

***

 

      “Alright, guys. I have a new assignment for you today!” Mr. Schue said as he rolled into the class wearing roller blades.

      “Oh, no.” Rachel said as she seemingly caught on to something that no one else had gotten. Kurt was still confused that Mr. Schue had said there were assignments.

      “What?” Kurt asked, wondering what he’d missed.

      Mr. Schue turned and skated over to the white board across the room before writing DISCO! across it in big block letters. He spun around excitedly, “Disco, guys!”

      Kurt wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of noise as everyone in the room protested, some even throwing things at the man.

 

***

 

“Do things like that happen often in this club?” Henry asked, a little bit concerned.

“All. The time,” Kurt stated dryly.

“And disco wasn’t even the worst one. The ideas that man comes up with.” He shuddered just at the thought of some of the crazy ideas he’d tried to convince the club to perform.

Henry sat up a little straighter as he switched topics, “so other than joining Glee Club, what else happened?”

“Well, Rachel and I have gotten closer. In a weird way.”

“How so?” the doctor asked interestedly.

“I criticize her wardrobe and then help her pick new clothes and she seems to think that since we’re both in Glee Club that it means she has permission to come to me with every single little bump in the road on the way to her impending stardom,” Kurt said with a shrug.

“… Kurt, you’ll have to translate that for me.”

“You could say we’re friends,” Kurt said begrudgingly.

“Good. I’m glad. Have you spoken to her about any of your past or your condition?” Henry asked.

Shaking his head Kurt flicked a piece of invisible lint of his pants.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not that close yet,” Kurt said defensively. “She… Rachel is very scattered. It’s hard to have a serious conversation with her without her trying to turn it into Broadway musical. Everything is a story or plot for her. If her boyfriend misses a date she gets paranoid and convinces herself that he’s cheating on her and then she runs off and sings songs from RENT or something,” Kurt said dismissively with a wave of his hand.

“So you have a hard time getting her to become serious?” he asked.

“Yeah, you could say that. She’s always jumping from one thing to the next. It’s hard to keep up.”

“I would suggest that you slowly start to bring up more serious topics just in daily conversation. Not about yourself necessarily,” Henry said quickly as he saw Kurt about to protest. “But maybe strike a conversation about gay rights or abortion. Just to get a serious response out of her. Maybe that will help pave the way for you to talk to her about all the stuff that’s going on with you.”

      Kurt nodded slowly, “Okay, I guess I could try that.”

      “Alright. Anything else happen in the past couple months?” Henry asked.

      “Blaine keeps bugging me,” Kurt mumbled.

      “Bugging you how?”

      “He’s as persistent as his sister and he’s constantly… around me,” Kurt said, kind of regretting bringing Blaine into the conversation.

      “About three weeks after I joined Glee Club, Blaine sat down next to me at lunch, and I was sitting with the rest of the club. Blaine’s never sat in the lunchroom to eat. He always just wanders around the school or leaves if he really feels like it,” Kurt said.

      “What did he do?”

      Kurt shrugged, “Nothing. He just sat down next to me and started… eating his lunch. Like it was normal. Like he did that every single day.” Kurt shook his head in disbelief as he relived the moment.

 

***

 

      The sudden noise and chatter of people talking and laughing as they ate around the table fell to sudden silence and Kurt looked up to figure out what the sudden change was about when he felt a presence beside him and the shift in the space next to him as someone sat down. He looked to his left only to find Blaine of all people sitting fairly close to his side, a tray of lunch in front of him.

      It took a moment for Kurt to recover. “What-“ Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper, “What are you doing here?”

      “Eating,” Blaine said, not bothering to lower his voice as he tossed a greasy fry into his mouth and chewed.

      “Yeah, but why here?

      “Because this is where I sat down.”

      Kurt blinked at Blaine and tried to figure out if it was a trick of some sort. If Blaine was sudden going to crack a joke and then disappear. But he stayed where he was, starting to eat a disgustingly greasy piece of pizza.

      Slowly, the rest of the table returned to their own food and conversations. Of course, Rachel was the one to prompt it, smiling excitedly at the idea that his brother was finally accepting the group, but not saying anything about it.

      Kurt spent the entire lunch period, trying to ignore the fact that Blaine was sitting fairly close to his side, looking around the table with disinterest, not saying anything.

      After that day, Blaine ate lunch at their table, always with a tray of greasy fries and pizza, and always pressed close to Kurt’s side. Kurt couldn’t find an excuse to leave, or a way to get Blaine to leave. So they stayed.

 

***

 

      Dr. Dalton was smiling knowingly to himself as he closed up his folder. “Well, I think that’s a good place to stop for today, Kurt.”

      “You don’t have anything to add to that?” Kurt asked, a little bit confused.

      “No, I don’t. Other than that I would remind you that your love interests are really not of my concern,” Henry said.

      Kurt blushed furiously and his mouth gaped open, “W-we’re not. B-blaine’s not m-my,” Kurt sputtered as he tried to find a response.

      Henry nodded, “Oh, I’m sure he’s not. Forget I said anything. Have a good day, Kurt.”

      Stammering out a goodbye, Kurt left the building flustered and astonished that someone so professional would say something like that to him. And the accusation itself was atrocious! Kurt’s mind was swimming as he shook his head and adamantly denied the thought of Blaine and his love life even being in the same sentence.

      “Henry must be losing his mind,” Kurt mumbled as he waited for his dad to pick him.

      “Love interest,” he scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

 

End Notes: Soooo I feel like an asshole. I know I basically neglected this story and left it for dead and I'm so SO sorry!!!! Guys, I just ugh, I'm really sorry. Things got insane and school was killer and now im in my Senior year and that's not helping things much. Anyway, send me hate mail if you want for not updating this fic for almost a year. I'm really sorry. But I'm returning to this story as best I can. I'm really sorry!!!

Comments

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This is so good, I love it!

thank you so much! I love gettin feedback! :)

It's ok that you were unable to update sooner because I understand how hectic life can get. I hope you are having a good school year and New Year and look forward to reading this whenever you have the free time to update. This chapter was really good and I like that Blaine came and sat with Kurt like it wasn't a big deal. It's fun to see Blaine confuse Kurt a little bit. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Ahh you're so sweet! Thank you! I hope you had a good New Year as well :) Thanks for the review, they are of so helpful!

Just found this story today and am enjoying it. I like that even though Blaine is a badboy you did not make him into an unlikable jerk. I have read too many stories like that. I have a question though. In previous chapters you would bring up how Kurt had still not gone to his locker and there was another chapter were we found out that Blaine had left his backpack in bis locker over the summer but at the start of term he would end up with a new one. I thought that these two things were related or am I completely off? Anyways, I appreciate you continuing this story even though it has been a year.

Oh hi! :) I'm glad your liking the story! It's really difficult for me to write Blaine in a way that isn't sweet and caring, but I really love badboy Blaine so I try to make his badassness be a coping effect for the difficult past he's had with being gay and all that. I like to hope it works out well. I like Blaine way too much as a charcter to make him be legitimately mean. I don't know if you mean that Blaine left his backpack in Kurt's locker? Because that's not what happened. I just meant it as Blaine was too lazy to pick up his stuff at the end of his Sophmore year so he left it there, but when he came back it was still in the same locker. And I know that you usually get new lockers every year, but for this story I'm just overriding that rule and in this story people keep their same locker all four years unless they leave school or something like that, then it gets re-distributed to someone else. And Kurt's locker is... Kurt's locker. It's completely seperate. If I'm interpreting you question wrong let me know and I'll try to see if I can answer your question better, but that's the best I can tell you so far.