Blaine rolled over to squint at his iPod in the dark. It was nearly 2 am. Dalton was silent, which was so rare that Blaine felt mildly disoriented from it. He reached over and switched on his bedside lamp and felt a small amount of relief wash over him with the light. Then he lay back down and he tried to shift his focus off the nightmare.

Normally Blaine kept his insecurities to himself. He put on a confident face, a big smile, and never shared his personal struggles or fears. Wes, David, and now Kurt, were some of the only people that knew anything, and Kurt only knew the G rated versions. It wasn’t that Blaine didn’t trust Kurt, he trusted Kurt more than he’d ever trusted another soul, it was just that he didn’t want Kurt to look at him differently.

When Kurt looked at Blaine, it was as if the whole world stopped and it was just the two of them. His heart would flip over, and Kurt’s blue eyes would sparkle, and Blaine never wanted to see that tainted with any sort of pity or darkness. He wouldn’t hide forever, he just wanted to enjoy this time with his new boyfriend. They’d only been together a short time.

Having these terrible images in his head now though, images that just wouldn’t stop flashing in his mind, Blaine made two decisions. One, he had to see for himself that Kurt was alright and asleep in his bed, and two that he would have to let Kurt in on some of the darker things in his past. One of the few sound pieces of advice Blaine had from his mother was that when you shared bad feelings, memories, or dreams, it could take the power out of them. You no longer had to carry them alone. Soon, Blaine was going to share with Kurt, but for now he just needed to see him in one piece.

Blaine didn’t bother with getting changed. He had on his gray Dalton t-shirt, and flannel pajama bottoms. The floors were cold in the hall, but he thought going barefoot meant he would be less likely to be heard. He slipped down the hall easily enough past the closed doors of his dorm mates until he came to stand in front of Kurt’s. Blaine pressed himself toward the door and pulled out the little key Kurt had given him on one of his first days. This wasn’t so he could go sneaking in at night, but rather in case he forgot something for class those first couple of weeks. Dalton had much more rigorous academic standards than McKinley and it took some getting used to. If they shared keys then they could have each other’s backs in times of forgotten homework crisis.

This was the first time Blaine had ever actually used the key. He hoped it wouldn’t be loud at all. The key slid into the lock almost silently and Blaine turned it ever so slowly. The lock finally gave with a satisfying snick, and Blaine turned the knob gently. Kurt’s room was as dark as he’d expected so he pushed the door open slowly until he was peering toward the bed. The empty bed.

Before he realized what he was doing. Blaine was coming into Kurt’s room, and shutting the door behind him. He stood there for a couple of breathless moments worrying about where Kurt might be when the shower suddenly turned on in the bathroom. Blaine could have laughed at himself for being so ridiculous. Here he was standing in Kurt’s room, worried as if Kurt might have been kidnapped or something when really he’d just gone to the bathroom to take a shower. Blaine stared at the bathroom door. Kurt was taking a shower at two in the morning.

Blaine knew he should leave right then. His boyfriend’s showering habits were none of his business. He would have, really he was going to just get out and lock the door again and be happy Kurt was alright. Until he heard Kurt’s voice coming from the bathroom. It was really more of a moan than anything else. It stopped Blaine in his tracks. He turned back toward the bathroom door and listened, unable to help himself.

“Oh. Mmm.” Came Kurt’s voice again. Blaine felt his defenses go up right away. Was someone in there with Kurt? That thought was quickly and unknowingly countered by Kurt when he said, “Blaaiinne.” Very clearly.

Okay, so. Blaine’s brain had stopped working. Now he really needed to leave because otherwise he was that pervert that listened in to people’s private time, but my god, he’d said his name. Blaine felt like his feet were rooted to the floor. He couldn’t leave, not when his boyfriend was less that fifteen feet away, naked and moaning his name. It was almost too much to handle.

Kurt and Blaine had been going out long enough to have fooled around a time or two, but nothing serious. Kurt still seemed hesitant when it came to anything beneath their clothes and Blaine wasn’t one to push. He loved Kurt, and felt they had all the time in the world to explore each other. Making out was amazing. Of course Blaine jerked off two or three times a day sometimes. Especially after one of those amazing make out sessions. Kurt would make these little noises, and oh god there he goes again. Blaine’s dick twitched in response.

Blaine was going to leave, any minute now he would just walk back out the door, lock it, and go to his room. However his feet had another idea in mind. He was suddenly standing at the end of Kurt’s bed trying to decide whether or not he’d lost his mind, and in the background Kurt was making needy, whiney noises in the shower. Oh damn, that had to be the hottest thing he’d ever experienced. Kurt’s voice, already the sexiest voice Blaine had ever heard, and now it was being used in ways Blaine had only ever imagined. His imagination had not been nearly as good as the real thing.

He sat on the edge of the bed, quite without meaning to. His pajama bottoms were now embarrassingly tented and he grabbed a pillow to cover it, as if that was going to matter the moment Kurt walked out here and found him like this. He needed to not be found out here like this!

“Fuck, yes, Blaine.” Came Kurt again, and Blaine was pretty much decided then and there. He reached his hand under the waistband of his pants and grabbed his dick tightly. He felt like a complete perv but his dick certainly didn’t mind. Blaine fisted himself roughly, trying to hurry, to catch up to whatever fantasy Kurt was having in the shower just then. He imagined all sorts of things but no image swam to mind quickly enough until Kurt said, “Let me fuck you.” Holy shit! Blaine was suddenly so hard it hurt and he shifted on the bed so that he was lying back, pumping his hand for all he was worth.

He could see it so clearly in his mind; Kurt behind him, pushing him into the wall of the shower. The hot water would run all over him, slicking bodies and hands and cock. Then Kurt above him on the bed, his knees resting on Kurt’s shoulders, and Kurt sliding into him until he was stretched and aching, and always needing more. It was so perfect, so much better than any fantasy about hand jobs or blow jobs.

Somewhere around that time Blaine became aware that he was no longer listening to Kurt’s voice. He actually was no longer hearing the shower. His hand slowed to a stop and he opened his eyes to find Kurt standing at the end of the bed with a towel in hand and nothing to cover his still wet body. Immediately Blaine was sitting up and flushing redder than he ever had before.

“How long have you been here?” Kurt asked evenly. Blaine felt his stomach drop.