First, he’d pulled away from the kiss without an immediate explanation. But Blaine had already said that Kurt could kiss him, but after what had happened the first time, Blaine could understand that. Blaine frowned, thinking, and then his eyes widened when he realized what he’d done. He’d apologized. Sure, he’d meant to apologize for pulling away from the kiss, but the way he’d continued afterward must have sounded, to Kurt at least, like he was saying he couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t do the rush of kisses with hot hands searching and skimming and pushing up his blazer and up under his shirt. That was why he’d had to pull away. It was so much…sensation, and it wasn’t that Blaine wanted to stop, no, quite the opposite. He just didn’t know how to get around to saying it.

But now he had no choice, had to say it, otherwise he’d have to leave and deal with the fact that Kurt looked like Blaine had slapped him. “Kurt, wait,” he said, then pursed his lips as he tried to figure out how to word what he wanted to say, how to say it without sounding like a horny teenage boy. He blushed dark red and reached out to touch Kurt’s shoulder. “I don’t…it’s not like that. I don’t want to go. I was, um. Well, I mean. I have a question. Er, not a question, but…okay, I guess it qualifies as a question in the end. But we were kissing and I liked it. Well, liked is probably an understatement. I just, well, the way your hands moved was so…um…” Blaine trailed off, stuck. He’d never talked about sex, or anything relating to it, outside of sex ed classes, and all of the slang terms for everything he was thinking about made him feel even more the horny teen than his mind was putting on him.

Finally, the words came out. “Is kissing supposed to turn you on?” Blaine couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth, not anymore, and as he blushed pink to his ears, he kept on talking, knowing that if they didn’t come out now, it would never get said. “I’ve never done this before, okay? And then we were kissing and I got…I liked it. A lot. And I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t know what to do and I thought you would, I don’t know, tell me I wasn’t crazy or something, I guess. Please don’t make me go. I—I like kissing. You.”

Kurt was slumping. He never slumped. He wanted to just slumped to the floor and hide until Blaine was gone and then formulate a way to accept everything that had happened and its subsequent loss. Instead he held his place on the bed and tried not to think. At all. Blaine started talking then and Kurt dreaded what was to come. Maybe he deserved, well, okay he was sure he deserved it, that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it.

Blaine surprised him though. He asked Kurt to wait, he touched his shoulder and that little contact made Kurt’s heart pound. He didn’t want to go. Kurt felt like he’d never been so confused in his life. Every since this boy ran into him the other day Kurt had been a fucking mess. He was up he was down, he was furious he was horny. It made his head spin. On the other hand Kurt couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so alive. As if he was real and could feel things. That was so unexpected. It made him want more.

Blaine’s halting monologue seemed to echo Kurt’s inner struggle in a strongly familiar way. Finally he was making his point and Kurt was turning around because how could he not? Blaine was flushed and there was a light sheen of sweat across his forehead but it struck Kurt in that moment that Blaine was the stronger of the two of them. Kurt was terrified all over again.

“You…just. Stay, okay, stay.” He sounded no better than Blaine.

Kurt reached a hand out and squeezed Blaine’s lightly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, alright?” Wait, what?! No, that didn’t come out right at all, he’d been thinking more along the lines of, yeah that’s it. “I mean there’s nothing wrong with getting excited.” Okay slightly better.

“In fact, I like you all excited.” There, that sounded more like his old self, he could do this, he could. All he had to do was ignore the fact that Blaine set him on fire and he pretty much felt like he was on a roller coaster.

When Kurt finally turned around, it was like a weight had been lifted off of Blaine’s shoulders. For the moment, at least, Kurt wasn’t kicking him out of his room. If Blaine had known he’d be thinking it a blessing to be able to stay in Kurt’s room this morning, he’d probably have checked himself in somewhere. At the moment, though, he was praising the fact that Kurt had verbalized the word stay.

He relaxed when Kurt took his hand, even chuckling when Kurt stammered over his words, but his smile when he was reassured was soft and genuine. Sure, part of Blaine already knew that it was silly to get so worked up over physically responding to physical contact, but there was a part of him that was always afraid of being the odd man out, where his reactions to things were strange and foreign to other people.

Blaine was opening his mouth to respond, to thank Kurt for letting him stay and for being nice, when the attitude was back. Rather than scaring him or pushing him away, though, Blaine found himself drawn to the cockiness. His mouth started to water and Blaine licked his lips and swallowed, the heat that had been swelling in the pit of his stomach roaring back to life. “I, uh, oh.” Very nice. He’s trying to talk dirty to you and all you can say is oh? “I’m not very good at this, am I?” Blaine asked, a self-depreciating smile on his lips. “I’m pretty good at things, usually, though. Well, when I practice at least. I think I’m the only kid who doesn’t mind homework. It’s just like practice and—” Blaine cut himself off, recognizing his nervous rambling. “Can you kiss me so I stop talking, please?”

Blaine’s face was so expressive; Kurt wondered how he hadn’t been distracted by it before. Or maybe he had been come to think of it. Blaine’s thoughts and feelings were right there on the surface for anyone to see. He was so open, so very different from Kurt, that Kurt was force to sit and marvel at it just for a moment. Then Blaine was talking some more like a jittery schoolgirl, which was an unkind thought that led to the immediate acceptance that Blaine actually was a jittery schoolboy and that Kurt in fact wanted to eat aforementioned schoolboy with a spoon.

Especially when he made those desperate puppy eyes and asked Kurt to kiss him again just so he could shut up. Well, at least they were agreed on one thing. Or a couple of things. Kurt didn’t have to be asked twice to do so. He was on Blaine so fast it made his head spin. This time he didn’t have to worry about slow or gentle or anything really because he was kissing Blaine and Blaine wanted it and he wanted it and now there just was no turning back. He pressed Blaine down on his bed, and slid his knees between Blaine’s until there was no longer ay space between them and he kissed Blaine with no thought for the outcome or the implications or what would happen tomorrow. He just let himself go all passion and heat and need. Very real need.

His fingers mapped the planes and curves of Blaine’s face then move to trail up and down the outside of Blaine’s legs trying in vain to pull the boy closer to him. When that failed he adjusted his position and rocked down against Blaine gasping at the friction he so desperately needed. “Mm, oh!” He murmured into Blaine’s mouth before he could stop himself. Blaine just felt so fucking fantastic. Kurt was rock hard and hoping Blaine understood now just how much Kurt liked him like this.

Kurt was nothing if not thorough. From the moment Blaine’s request left his lips, Kurt was in all of his senses. First it was sight. He could see Kurt’s mouth, the outline of his lips, the half-smile, they way he held his body before he was leaning in and kissing Blaine with everything. Then it was taste. Blaine could taste Kurt, something that was distinctly him. Then it was touch. He felt the bed against his back, soft and cushioning in contrast to the way that Kurt’s leg was warm and hard pressing between his knees. He shifted slightly so Kurt could fit almost in between him, breathing in deep with his nose to try to stabilize himself.

After that, it was smell. Kurt smelled like a hint of body wash and of something with darker, sweet notes, maybe with cologne, but probably not because Blaine could smell Kurt more than just superficially. The smell was sinking into his mind, surrounding him. Blaine’s hands, which had been still and unsure, came up to touch Kurt’s arms, then slowly they trailed up to cling to his back, bunching the fabric of Kurt’s shirt underneath his fingers.

When Blaine felt Kurt try to pull him closer, felt the heat of his arousal on his hips, then it was hearing. First he heard Kurt’s soft sounds in his mouth, and then Blaine became extremely aware of the noises that his lips made against Kurt’s, the way his blazer sounded against the bed, the way that he was nearly panting when tentatively, Blaine lifted his hips upward against Kurt’s and had to pull away from the kiss for a moment to just breathe because he had no idea that this could feel so good. Sure, Blaine had jerked off before. Every teenage boy had, but it was always quick and hurried, and there was never this much…sensation. “Kurt,” he whined, not knowing really what he wanted, but knowing that his mind was swimming with ideas that he was far too embarrassed to even think about voicing.

Kurt was blissing out. Blaine was like a drug. An expensive designer drug meant to take you to another dimension where everything felt so much more there; so alive and so good. A place where the touch of fingers along your arms felt like electricity, almost painful but too good to actually hurt. A place where lips melded and sighs were stolen and hearts raced and never tired. Kurt wanted to bask in every sensation but his body was still just the body of a horny teenager and Blaine’s fully aroused cock sliding against his own was very nearly enough to tip him over the edge. He almost lost it again all over again when Blaine’s mouth tugged away with a slick sound and he whimpered Kurt’s name.

Well, he certainly wasn’t going to say no to that. Kurt pressed Blaine beneath him and folded himself so that his lips were pressing against the side of Blaine’s neck, his hands grasping Blaine’s knees, and then he moved. He wanted to take his time, he really did. This was all so much sensation, so many shocks of pleasure up his spine, but even without looking at Blaine’s needy expressions he could hear Blaine in his ear and he could certainly feel every inch of Blaine beneath him. The last coherent, and really coherent was a stretch at this point, the last coherent thought he had was that he hoped Blaine was right there with him, on the edge.

His hips rolled down and up and his body trembled with need. Kurt pressed little kisses against Blaine’s neck and whispered god knew what to him, he had no idea what because it was all too much, and everything, and never quite enough. He was moving faster, unable to control the rhythm or pace any longer, his thrusts growing faster until he was grinding hard against Blaine right on the edge ready to fall.

“Cum Blaine, cum now.” He had meant it to be a whisper between them but it was almost a shout. He bit into the soft flesh below Blaine’s earlobe right as he tipped over and came hard, so hard it took his breath away and he was forced t sag atop Blaine, shaking and panting ; clinging to the boy beneath him.

The pace quickened, Kurt’s lips shifted from Blaine’s mouth to his neck, and Blaine’s eyes shot open as a deep moan tumbled from somewhere deep in his chest. This time, when he said Kurt’s name, his voice was wrecked, pitched just a little lower than normal and trying hard to keep from trembling as he lifted his chin, offering more of his neck for Kurt’s lips and teeth. Blaine had never known, had never even guessed, that his neck would be so sensitive, but as Kurt worked the area over with soft kisses, Blaine’s hips snapped up to meet Kurt’s, proving to him that he didn’t know his own body well enough at all. Belatedly, he worried about hickeys, but that thought completely evaporated at Kurt’s order.

Blaine inhaled, tried to exhale and failed, then inhaled again before letting out a long breath stuttered with half-words and almost thoughts while his hands fisted tighter into Kurt’s clothing. And then he could feel Kurt’s teeth, right underneath his ear, and that was it. “Kurt, I c—oh,” was all that he could muster as he rutted against the other boy when he came, feeling his cock jerk in his pants. The feeling of wet underwear and pants was forgotten as Kurt sagged on top of him, and Blaine took deep, gasping breaths until his heart rate had returned to something mildly resembling normal. Then, he forcibly removed his fingers from the impossibly wrinkled white shirt Kurt was wearing and moved to kiss him on the cheek. There was a bliss and a peace that lasted for all of five minutes before Blaine actually looked around and remembered where he was, what he’d done, and who he was underneath. That was when the freakout started.

Oh my God. “Oh my God.” What did you just do? That was fantastic. “That was…wow.” Blaine was still a little breathless, but he could feel his body coming down off of a high that an orgasm had never given him before. He turned so that he was on his side, shifting from underneath Kurt. Oh my God. You just had sex with Kurt Hummel. Was that sex? Is he going to think it’s sex? You guys aren’t together. It was sex…right? I can’t believe you just had sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with. Is he going to ask me out? Would you say yes? He’s not going to ask you out. It was just sex. It was sex, right? Blaine’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak again, but had nothing that he could put into words. So he said the very first thing that came to mind. “I…just…we. That. What was? That. Sex?” Smooth. Very smooth.

In Kurt’s experience there was a certain order of events following the inevitable post coital bliss. Move apart, clean up, adjust any clothing as necessary, and leave before it gets weird. There was a small stretch of time that Kurt liked to ignore, time when he was first experimenting with sex, where he was the one getting left. He turned that around as soon as he’d figured out how. First of all you do not bring a guy to your room. Not unless you intend to tell him to get out at some point, it was just easier to walk out of someone elses room. Less talking that way. Secondly you do not let the after orgasm haze allow you to kiss, cuddle, or otherwise interact in any way. This leads to having to explain that no, you weren’t having a moment, or feelings, or anything, but rather your brain was sex addled and that’s all over now. Finally, and maybe this was one of the most important, you did not hesitate once sex was done. Once it was over what was the point of any of the rest of it?

Kurt was in the middle of remembering all of these very important and life saving techniques when Blaine kissed his cheek. Then he realized that he was halfway to snuggling in close to Blaine and just holding on to him. That was when the freak out started. Oh my god, Blaine had said and now he was sliding out from under Kurt and Kurt was rolling so they were facing each other and really he needed to get out of this bed before he lost his composure entirely. Blaine was rumpled and imperfect and red faced and wide eyed and Kurt just lay there looking at him. Don’t reach out, don’t pull him closer, don’t touch his lips, don’t look at his lips, oh god. Roll over, sit up, get up for god’s sake don’t just lie here staring like some fool. Oh god, Kurt was watching as his hand trailed Blaine’s arm of its own accord. I am so screwed! Kiss him. No don’t kiss him, fuck!

Blaine came to his rescue, surprisingly enough.

“I…just…we. That. What was? That. Sex?”

Kurt snapped back to himself, but only just because a warm bubble of laughter escaped right there at the end. It almost sounded…fond, to Kurt’s ears. “Breathe.” He told Blaine. Kurt rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t know why he wanted to be careful in what he said but he told himself it must be so he didn’t scare Blaine away too fast. They could do this again and this was good and Kurt liked getting off so yeah that all made sense.

“While that was great, and some people do consider it sex, I always like to think of it as foreplay. There are so many things that people can do together without doing everything, so I think your virtue’s still safe.” And that would be the long winded version. “It’s best to define those sorts of things for yourself though.” He added. Because apparently this was an after school special about frottage of which he was now the host. Just get up, get up, get up. He picked up Blaine’s hand and kissed it.

“I think we might need a little clean up and a change of clothes if we’re going to get any homework done.” He finally managed to say, and then he was pulling himself up and away and pushing down all of the insanity that wanted to spill over and ruin everything.

Breathing. Right. Blaine focused on that, picking up and fidgeting with his glasses while Kurt explained that he didn’t exactly think that what they’d done was sex, but that it was something that he could decide for himself. Blaine nodded, a soft snort coming from his mouth when Kurt reassured him about his virtue. He felt comfortable when Kurt was like this, when he explained something without shutting off from him. Blaine felt his cheeks pink when Kurt kissed his hand, intent on leaning over and initiating a kiss on his own when the mood was gone and Kurt was pulling away and going into business mode.

Blaine had to blink multiple times to clear his head enough to start thinking about schoolwork again. He still had questions about what had just happened, though. He wanted to know what it meant for them, what it meant for their relationship inside the classroom, whether or not it meant anything to Kurt at all. It had meant something to Blaine, and as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, he started to become more and more uncomfortable on Kurt’s bed. He wanted to talk, to understand what was going on, but Kurt had disengaged.

“Right,” Blaine murmured, “a change of clothes.” The moment he said it, Blaine realized how uncomfortable it was to be sitting in his own come-filled underwear. He looked down and saw the wet stain on the front of his pants, and then sighed. His bag would cover it, but he’d have to move quickly, which was sure to be an uncomfortable process. Blaine stood and grabbed his bag, then hesitated at the foot of the bed while he put on his shoes. “I’ll just…go. To my room, then. And change. And then I’ll come back and we can start working.” His eyes darted up to Kurt’s face, and the fear that Kurt was only using him fell heavy and hard on his chest. “On the project.” Blaine wanted Kurt to stop him, wanted him to take him by the wrist or the arm or around the waist and tell him that he was being silly, that obviously they would have to be together so that they could have repeat performances of this, and more, and that Blaine was silly for worrying so much.

Of course, that fabrication of reality was so stretched that it almost made Blaine laugh. That wasn’t Kurt. He realized belatedly that this was the Kurt he saw regularly, and Blaine wanted to smack himself for thinking he’d get anything different.

Kurt just sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes following Blaine as the boy got up and slipped on his shoes. Blaine looked different to him. It wasn’t a mystery either; Kurt put his finger on it immediately. Blaine was sexy as hell all rumpled like that. Kurt had a moment of struggle. He want to pull Blaine back down and kiss him madly, he wanted Blaine’s warmth under him, on top of him, in his arms, just for a little bit longer. It would be easy enough to reach out, call Blaine back, anything really. Blaine was so close still. That’s the moment when things really clicked into focus for Kurt.

He absolutely could not do this. This warmth in his chest, the way his cock tried to stir back to life as he watched Blaine, the way his arms ached to hold Blaine again. He could not do it. Kurt looked down at his hands and took a few breaths to clear his head. Then he smiled, it was a genuine smile and he hoped it looked genuine, because he felt good despite whatever hang ups he had. Maybe he didn’t have to fight every last thing. He didn’t have to go back to treating Blaine like shit just because he didn’t want to be Blaine’s boyfriend. Like, they could still fool around, or whatever, just as long as Kurt knew where the line was. Yes, he thought, he could do that, no problem.

“Alright.” He told Blaine, finally looking back up. “I’ll just get everything organized and we can get started.

Once Blaine was gone Kurt tidied himself up and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. He straightened the bed and got out some paper and pens and waited for Blaine to come back. He did not think about what he was doing. There was no space in his head for why or how or anything else. It was straightforward. Kurt was clearly aroused by Blaine’s awkward virgin schoolboy thing and the rest didn’t matter as long as he got what he wanted.

When Kurt came out of this reverie he found himself burying his nose in the pillow that Blaine had laid on. He threw it on the floor.