After classes ended, Blaine had gone straight up to his room. His roommate was there, but he was working on homework, or something else on the computer that seemed to require his undivided attention, so Blaine was free to worry about where he was about to go in peace. He was about to enter Kurt’s bedroom. At least there would be a roommate there who would buffer any interactions the two of them would have. Besides, they were only supposed to be working on The Great Gatsby, which wasn’t particularly difficult. Most of the themes were straightforward, and a decent writer could jot down a summary of the novel in a matter of minutes. Blaine looked at the clock on his nightstand. If they worked diligently, which he was hoping they would, Blaine would be back in his room by 8:00 with plenty of time to do the rest of his homework, and maybe some pleasure reading.

That thought seemed to calm him down, and Blaine touched his hand to his hairline and rubbed, relaxing himself. He did a mental checklist as he grabbed things and tossed them into his boo bag: novel, pens, paper, check, check, check. He turned to leave before remembering that he almost forgot the key to his room. After he grabbed that, Blaine made the short walk down the hall. The numbers of room 312 seemed to be taunting him. He reached a hand up, then hesitated.

Kurt was the same boy that two days ago was threatening him, who had pushed him against the wall in the bathroom. He was willingly, project aside, going into the other boy’s room. For a brief moment, Blaine thought that he might have been walking into a trap. What if Kurt’s friends were on the other side of the wall, waiting to ambush him and make a fool of him for even thinking that Kurt would work on a project with someone like him. Kurt had even said it himself that he didn’t think Blaine had been created equal to him. “Just get your ideas down on paper and you can go. The teacher paired you two together, deal with it.” After his mumbled pep talk, Blaine knocked.

When Kurt opened the door, the first thing Blaine noticed was that there was no roommate.

Kurt leaned on the door frame and just let his eyes take Blaine in, really take him in, and he really did try to find something sexy about him or something just not, ridiculous. Blaine’s hair was pasted to his scalp, he had on his dorky glasses, his uniform was of course just a uniform, but he wore loafers. Kurt gave this up pretty fast and stepped back to gesture Blaine on in. Then Kurt very methodically closed and locked his door. He slipped out of his jacket, something he had meant to do before but he’d been distracted during his wait and had forgotten. Now he laid it carefully over the back of his desk chair and turned to face Blaine.

His supplies were there on the bed and the only other available seating was overrun with clean laundry waiting to be put away. So Blaine would be forced to sit on the bed. There was a plan, after all. Kurt thought about trying a smile with Blaine but abandoned that thought as he crossed to his bed. Kurt didn’t have warm feelings toward Blaine so he was fairly certain that any false pretenses would simply be for naught. Instead he simply sank down on the edge of the bed, then crawled backwards to sit at the headboard. Then he patted the space next to him and waited for Blaine to comply.

Kurt had his mind made up. He was going to kiss that boy senseless and then maybe he could think about the stupid assignment. First he had to get Blaine to sit.

At first, Blaine was scared to find that there was no roommate to diffuse whatever situation happened, but then he found himself grateful. Kurt hadn’t told his friends to come and ambush him or anything. It was just the two of them working on a project. They just so happened to be working alone in Kurt’s room. But that wasn’t odd for projects. Typically, however, Blaine worked on projects with people who liked him, and didn’t look at him like he was worse than the gum you got on the bottom of your favorite shoes.

He watched quietly from the entryway of the room as Kurt shucked off his blazer. Blaine fumbled with the button on his, then decided against getting comfortable. Kurt was definitely comfortable in his own room, as evidenced by his sinking down onto his bed. The extra long twin that came with every dorm room wasn’t very large, but it would fit two people comfortably. Which is why, then, when Kurt patted the empty spot next to him, Blaine only hesitated for a moment before fully entering the room and going to sit down.

Blaine sat on the very edge of the bed, then pushed off his shoes with his feet before pulling his legs up and crossing them. “Um, hi,” he started, then grabbed the strap of his book bag. He’d seen Kurt briefly in history, but the only real interaction they’d had was when Kurt ran out of the classroom on him. Blaine pulled open his bag and grabbed his notebook. “You don’t have a roommate,” he blurted, then chuckled. “That’s pretty cool. My roommate and I don’t really talk. But that’s okay, I guess. We don’t have that much in common. He doesn’t read. He spends all his time on his computer. It’s all for the better, though, because I can get my homework done in relative quiet.” Blaine opened his mouth, then frowned. “I’m allowed to be talking to you right now, right?”

Kurt was watching Blaine with new found fascination and it was a little scary. He just couldn’t ever seem to shut up. Not before and certainly not now. He might have said something, might have let Blaine know that, yes, this counted as a time when he could talk, but the truth was he didn’t have time for that.

Kurt didn’t hesitate. He couldn’t. If he waited one second too long he might change his mind or Blaine might bolt, or worse he might really just try and stop Blaine’s mouth with his fist and then things would only go downhill from there. He turned to the side, grabbed a fistful of Blaine’s shirt, and hauled him directly to his mouth.

Now Kurt had kissed plenty of guys. Some of them had even been gay. The point is, he had skills. Mad skills. He also had plenty of other kisses to compare this to, which he might do, which he always did, but couldn’t right now for some reason. N fact the entire world seemed to shut down in an instant as Blaine’s lips blazed against his. Blaine’s lips were so fucking soft. Like satin. They were also so warm it made Kurt ache immediately for more. He had planned out all his best moves but all of them seemed lost to him. He was just sliding his lips sideways against Blaine’s, softly and gently, what the hell? He realized his hands were trying to hold Blaine’s face to his but rater than crushing h they were cradling there.

Kurt panicked. Full on mind exploding panic attack. He absolutely had to pull his shit together. So that became the new focus of the kiss. Mind you all of this took place in a matter seconds but Kurt pressed himself against Blaine, pinning him back and let him have it. Every bit of anger, every little moment of pent up frustration, every secret desire, he just let it all loose in that moment. He could hear his own moans clawing their way out of his throat as his tongue fought to gain entrance to Blaine’s mouth. Once inside he devoured Blaine’s tongue and rocked against him as the taste and smell of Blaine filled his senses. It was fantastic. It was horrible. It was so much more than Kurt had imagined and it was so far out of his range of experience that he couldn’t seem to hold to any sort of reality except the lifeline that was Blaine and Blaine’s mouth.

Blaine was watching Kurt in the seconds before the kiss, watching the way that he was silent, merely watching him and not giving the okay to speak, but not punishing him for speaking in the first place. And that was when it happened.

Kurt’s lips were strong, but also soft against his. Blaine had always expected his first kiss to be planned and expected, in a relationship with someone after a date on the front porch. It was supposed to be sweet and intimate, which was everything this kiss was not. Well, it was intimate; he was kissing Kurt. Belatedly, it dawned on Blaine that he was kissing Kurt. The same Kurt that had threatened him in the hallway, pushed his lunch on him, terrorized him and left him petrified in the bathroom. It was the same Kurt who’s tongue was everywhere in his mouth all of a sudden, and Blaine wasn’t exactly sure when it happened.

In an involuntary motion, Blaine opened his mouth to the way that Kurt was so forceful, and he gasped, the sound ending on a moan as Kurt’s hips rocked forward. His eyes fluttered shut and his hands grasped at the fabric of Kurt’s dress shirt. When he blinked, Blaine saw the outline of Kurt’s profile, and he was slapped with the sharp realization that Kurt Hummel had taken his first kiss. In almost the same instant that he moaned, Blaine was pushing Kurt away from him. One hand came up to touch his lower lip, and Blaine stared across the bed, eyes wide and full of confusion and hurt.

“What are you doing?” he started, not bothering to address the fact that Kurt probably didn’t know Blaine had never been kissed before. “You don’t even like me! Why are you—is this a joke to you? Are your friends gonna pop up somewhere and I’m going to learn you only did this to make me feel awful again?” Tears welled up in Blaine’s eyes, and he sniffed once to stave off the stinging. “Is this what you do for fun? Steal people’s first kisses and then pick on them until they’re too terrified to say no to you? You pushed me, you thew my lunch on me, and you called me a freak. You don’t like me.” Blaine tilted his head backward, rolling his eyes as the tears slipped. He didn’t want to cry, but his mind was moving at a thousand miles a second. He’d lost his first kiss, to Kurt of all people, and the worst part was that not only did Blaine enjoy every second of it, there was a large part of Blaine that wanted nothing more than to pull Kurt back down and learn everything Kurt had to teach him.

Kurt was deep in the moment lost somewhere in Blaine where the world made profound sense when suddenly all of it was being torn away. The shock of the real world was so painful that it made Kurt’s teeth ache. He felt himself sway to gain purchase on anything to hold himself up. Then it just went from bad to worst. In all of Kurt’s planning, in all his scheming, he’d not considered that Blaine wouldn’t like the kissing. He’d been sure, he realized belatedly, that if anyone wouldn’t like it would be him, and that no matter what he felt, Blaine would enjoy it. Worse than that was the realization that Kurt had sincerely wished for Blaine to enjoy it.

Actually now that he thought about all of it the worst part was having Blaine accuse him of the terrible things he was accusing him of right now. They sounded painfully true no matter what Kurt had been dong.

Kurt’s lungs were burning as he tried to draw a breath, he wanted to fight Blaine, swear to him that he’d misread the signs or that of course he hadn’t been doing this to be cruel. But Kurt couldn’t say those things now because Blaine was crying. His tears were causing a physical reaction inside Kurt and for the first time in a long time Kurt was scared. He was terrified of what he might do and he felt helpless to stop himself. There was the part of Kurt that had secretly longed for those tears. The tears were like a form of submission, like Blaine was giving up. He’d wanted to wring them out of Blaine until Blaine had nothing left to give.

The other part, the terrified part of him needed desperately for Blaine to stop crying like that because it was literally painful to watch and causing Kurt to feel like his chest was cracking open. It hurt like hell and for the first time in a very long time Kurt was feeling what he assumed to be shame; bone deep shame at his own behavior. Oh Blaine was so much more than just irritating to Kurt. He was dangerous.

When the final piece of all of it sank in Kurt sucked in his breath and stared at Blaine, uncertain as to how to proceed. That was Blaine’s first kiss. If Kurt had taken any time out in his scheming he probably would have guessed that but he hadn’t cared and now Blaine was in his bed crying for the thing that Kurt had taken from him and Kurt felt like his world was upside down. He had to do something, had to make this all stop now before he lost himself for good.

Kurt crawled back up the bed. He wasn’t sure when he had moved so far from Blaine but he very slowly made his way back to the boy’s side. “Blaine…” Oh god his voice sounded wrecked. It isn’t like that, or it isn’t all the way like that. I’m not trying to be mean here, I‘m not out to hurt you. They were all lies.

“Blaine…” Kurt tried to speak again, only trusting himself with small sentences. Kurt turned and wiped softly at Blaine’s cheeks with his thumb. There was no way Kurt could explain to Blaine about any of this because he didn’t know how to explain it to himself. He just couldn’t risk putting himself in Blaine’s control like that no matter how bad he felt. It would pass and he’d be even sorrier than he was now. But looking into Blaine’s crumbled face Kurt was afraid again. He didn’t really like the feeling at all.

“Tell me to stop.” He said, so quietly that at first he wasn’t sure Blaine heard him. He moved closer again, his face just inches from Blaine’s and he searched the other boy’s eyes. “Tell me no.” He whispered.

Blaine tried not to cry. He really had. He’d tried so hard to not let the jokes and the teasing get to him, but now that he was stuck here at Dalton, now that he couldn’t call his mom to ask for advice or look to his dad to pat him on the shoulder and tell him that things would work out, Blaine felt absolutely and positively alone. Except that he wasn’t alone, because Kurt was crawling back up the bed toward him. He tried to shrink away from the comforting touch that was wiping tears from his eyes, from the almost apologies as Kurt tried to explain himself away.

His eyebrows furrowed together with all of his effort to suppress the tears. This was not going as planned at all. He was supposed to be well into his themes about the green light and constant vigilance in The Great Gatsby. But instead, Blaine was staring into Kurt’s eyes, watching him as he nearly begged Blaine to tell him no. Immediately, his mouth opened and his jaw worked, but nothing happened. So he tried again, and the same thing. He snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away from the intensity of Kurt’s gaze, unintentionally nuzzling his cheek further into the cupped palm of Kurt’s hand. It was soft, and Blaine closed his eyes.

Blaine didn’t want to tell Kurt no. Well, the part of him that was thinking, anyway. Somewhere, there was a logical part of his brain telling him that he should say no, that this was some crazy form of Stockholm Syndrome or something, and that after this was done, Kurt would be back to treating him like crap. But there was something about Kurt’s voice, the way he said Blaine’s name, that made him stop, made him want to lean in and kiss Kurt for himself, just so he could feel what it tasted like.

He sighed softly, and then looked up, back into Kurt’s eyes. The tears, thankfully, had stopped. “You’ve been awful to me,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. He was trying to convince himself to find a reason, any reason to say no. Blaine didn’t know how to tell Kurt that he couldn’t figure out how to say no. “You were rude, and you were hurtful and…and…” He tried, Blaine tried to finish his sentence with ‘and I want you to stop,’ but instead, what he heard himself say was “I’ve never done this before, okay? Can you just, I don’t know.” But he did. He flushed and looked down, mumbling words into Kurt’s palm. “You can kiss me again. If you want.”

Kurt could see the struggle fleet across Blaine’s features. It drew his eyebrows together; it opened and shut his mouth. It pursed his lips, such lovely lips, and god what was wrong with him? When had Blaine gone from being the nerd he couldn’t stand to this sexy mess of a guy he just wanted to gather close and oh god? Blaine was turning away now, but not moving away. His face was so warm, almost hot against Kurt’s palm. Kurt could feel his hand just itching to take more and feel more, but he held still. He waited. Blaine was going to say no and then Kurt was going to look like the fool he’d let himself become.

If Kurt wanted to kiss someone, and let’s be honest he rarely did, but when he wanted to he just did it. Now here he was being that other guy, the one with the sensitivity and the asking for permission, sort of, and the waiting, and the hoping. Kurt was going to have to have to completely ignore Blaine’s existence from here on out if Blaine refused him. Maybe Blaine wouldn’t tell anyone. Maybe he could tell Blaine not to, maybe Blaine had just a tiny small part of him that would still be afraid enough not to.

Kurt wanted to look away, he needed to look away so he could breathe again, but instead his head stubbornly refused to move and he was forced to watch Blaine as he turned back to Kurt. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were reddened and the whole thing just made the situation that much more intense for Kurt. He thought he was ready to hear Blaine tell him no. He wasn’t ready for what Blaine did say, not even a little bit.

Kurt listened, really sat and listened as Blaine worked his way through it. He ignored the cold coiling sensation in his gut and the lump that took up residence in his throat, and he just listened. He wasn’t supposed to care about any of that, but there was no escaping it right now. Later when Blaine was gone he could worry about it some more. And then Blaine was telling him that he could kiss him. It took a few moments for Kurt’s brain to catch up and switch gears because he was so certain he knew what Blaine was telling him. Kurt knew he maybe should say something but words were still failing him on all levels so he just reached behind Blaine’s neck and pulled.

This time, when he pulled Blaine close he did it slowly. He took time to breathe Blaine in, and honestly he loved the way Blaine smelled. Sort of old school classy with a hint of spice. Then he pressed a kiss to each corner of Blaine’s mouth, his eyes searching Blaine’s for any hint of distress. Finally he pressed against Blaine and the heat took him over once more. He nibbled at Blaine’s bottom lip and followed each nibble with his tongue, seeking, asking, waiting. He ran his fingers around to Blaine’s face and caressed his cheeks and jaw. Soon, before almost anything had happened he could feel himself trembling all over. Kurt needed so much more, so finally he was forced to give in and he slid his tongue into Blaine’s mouth and the world fell away.

The second he gave Kurt permission to kiss him again, Blaine’s heartbeat doubled in his chest. He watched quietly, his breath coming from between his lips in quiet quivers as his eyes followed Kurt’s hand as far back as it would go, and then let himself feel the warm weight of Kurt’s hand against the back of his neck.

Blaine scrabbled to think of what to do, tried to think back to when he’d Googled “how to kiss,” and had turned away from all of the websites because he’d been embarrassed by the fact that he was a teenager in high school and still hadn’t kissed anybody. Sure, the websites had told him how to hold his head, how to breathe through his nose, but nothing had prepared him for the way that Kurt’s lips were so soft against his that they sent shivers up his spine. Blaine wasn’t even a little bit ready for the way it felt when Kurt’s teeth pulled lightly at his lower lip, and he had no idea how to respond to it, so the rational part of his brain shut off and instinct finally started to take over.

First, Blaine reached up to his face and pulled off his glasses. He tossed them down on the bed, not really caring where they fell, and then let his hand drift so that it rested on Kurt’s waist. His other hand was on the bed, not quite holding him up for support. He kissed Kurt back when he pressed their lips together, marveling at how good someone else’s mouth could feel. Belatedly, he realized that sitting out on Spin the Bottle at parties had been a terrible idea, but something told him that it wouldn’t have been the same here, because this was Kurt.

And then there was his tongue again, which had been flickering against his lips but was in his mouth now, and Blaine whimpered and parted his lips, his grip on Kurt’s waist tightening just enough for Blaine to know that there was something solid in the world outside of this kiss. Tentatively, Blaine shifted his tongue against Kurt’s and his whimper turned into a moan as he pushed himself closer to Kurt. Emboldened by his actions and his body’s response to it, he did it again, tasting the way that Kurt tasted, something almost sweet, but not quite.

Blaine’s body was on fire as Kurt kissed him. His heart was beating faster than Blaine was sure was safe, and the care that Kurt was taking in kissing him was turning him on. When Blaine felt the first twitch and tingle of arousal, he gasped into Kurt’s mouth and his eyes opened wide. He was suddenly unsure, and he pulled away again, just enough to part their lips. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t…um, I mean. I—” The hand that rested on the bed dropped into his lap, palm up, not knowing how to describe exactly what had just happened.

Kurt lost himself against Blaine. His hands roamed past Blaine’s neck to broad shoulders, down strong arms. They pulled at Blaine’s back and slid along his hips and thighs. There was just no way that he could ever be close enough in this position but he wasn’t about to move an inch to change things. How could he when Blaine was making those little noises and he could hear himself echoing them all? This was so good; this was indescribably perfect in a way that seemed impossible to Kurt.

Blaine was spice and sweetness and god he was on fire. Kurt couldn’t breathe like this, he couldn’t get enough air and he couldn’t care either. He felt like he was droning and was helpless to resist the current as it tugged him under. His head took up a chant of Blaine’s name, over and over again. Kurt’s tongue against his, sliding, dancing, it was making him ache everywhere and he had no reference point for that feeling.

Without really meaning to his hands were inching up the back of Blaine’s shirt, not far at all just above his waist, just to get that contact that he seemed to absolutely need. Blaine’s skin there was hot and smooth and Kurt had to force his hands to just stay put and not start pulling Blaine out of his clothes because that’s what he wanted more than anything.

Then Blaine broke the contact of his mouth and he pulled back searching Blaine’s face, wondering if Blaine felt any of the things he was feeling. Blaine was stammering though, his hand gone limp in his lap and Kurt couldn’t figure out why. Was Blaine sorry he’d done it, sorry for letting Kurt kiss him?

“Maybe you should go.” Kurt told him. He really wanted to beg Blaine to stay, ask Blaine to explain himself, but he just couldn’t stand to hear again why he was such an asshole. He pulled back from Blaine and threw his legs over the side of the bed, effectively shutting himself off from Blaine. “I’ll still do the project, you don’t have to worry about that.” He added softly.