k. hummel:
brb phone but also hi

b. anderson:
You're so popular :b

k. hummel:
lol, always.

Okay I'm here. How are you?

b. anderson:
I'm actually pretty good.

How about you?

k. hummel:
Pretty good, can't complain. Just busier than I normally like.

b. anderson:
What's got you busy?

k. hummel:
mostly class. I'm over all these papers. I feel like my finger tips are sore from all the typing.

b. anderson:
Aw, come on. It's not that bad, is it? Besides, at least you're writing about things you like.

k. hummel:
I guess. Uhg. I don't like word limits though.

b. anderson:
I know how you feel. Sometimes 1,000 words max just isn't enough.

k. hummel:
and sometimes 3600 is too much. lol

b. anderson:
Very, very true indeed.

k. hummel:
Where have you been keeping your self? I'm not the only busy these days.

b. anderson:
Oh, well, yeah. I, uh.

Library, mostly.

And Peter and I, my roommate, we're in the same Chem class. So we study together sometimes in my room.

But I'm trying to test out of chem so I can take a senior's Psych class instead.

And, um

Parties?

Well, a party. Singular. Once.

I've been waiting for you to text me, but then when you didn't I decided I should start, I dunno, filling my schedule with stuff. Other than your room.

Not to say I don't like time in your room. Just, we haven't seen each other. In a while.

Yeah.

k. hummel:
Yeah, it has been a while hasn't it? A party huh? Well, that's good then.

I should have texted you, I wanted to.

b. anderson:
Yeah, yeah. The party...

Denice said I should talk to you about that.

I was going to text you, when you didn't. But I didn't know if I should.

You remember how you and Alex don't get along so well?

k. hummel:
Uh yeah, it's not something I would forget, I can assure you.

b. anderson:
Right.

Well

You know, maybe I shouldn't be telling you this.

k. hummel:
No, sorry, go ahead, shit, I haven't talked to you in forever, and now I'm curious anyway.

b. anderson:
just, don't be mad, okay?

k. hummel:
Okay... I won't be mad at you but I can't promise I won't be mad at anyone else. What happened, did someone do something to you?

b. anderson:
ugh

k. hummel:
Blaine, please, you're freaking me out.

b. anderson:
Don't freak out, okay? It's not freak out worthy

Alex, he's in my math study group and he invited me to a party with him and I went, okay?

k. hummel:
okay

b. anderson:
Oh, god. Denice was so not right. I shouldn't tell you this.

You're going to kill me.

Either me or him.

Or both of us.

k. hummel:
I'm not, okay? I promised not to be mad at you.

b. anderson:
It was stupid. It was a mistake.

k. hummel:
Fuck, I'm going to come over there if you don't get out with it.

b. anderson:
I, God, Alex told me to eat a brownie they were passing around the room and I did

Well, not just the brownie. It was a whole bag of them

And they were, um.... they had marijuana in them.

k. hummel:
And you did eat one? And then what happened?

b. anderson:
Well, technically I only ate half of one.

But it was, um, I guess...I mean, it was good? But bad. And it was illegal.

I just...afterward we stayed for like an hour.

k. hummel:
But you're okay? Everything was okay and nothing bad happened to you?

I just mean...

Why were you worried to tell me that?

b. anderson:
No, nothing bad. I got scared that I was gonna get caught. So I made Alex take me back to my room.

I was scared you were going to be mad at me.

For being stupid. And not asking what was in them.

And also because I liked it.

k. hummel:
Blaine.

First of all, no matter what else is going on with us, I don't feel like I own you. At least, lol, not outside the bedroom. Secondly,

while I'd like to think that you are being careful, we've talked about being careful right? I don't have a real problem with you having fun without me. You may as well, right? I do, without you, sometimes. I'm kind of interested, really, to hear what you liked about it, and to know if that's something that maybe you and I can explore together some time.

b. anderson:
Did Denice talk to you?

She swore she wouldn't.

k. hummel:
No, she didn't, you told Denice about all of this?

b. anderson:
Um, yeah? I was afraid about the fact that I liked it because it was illegal. And she knows you pretty well. So I was trying to figure out if I should tell you or not. Plus, it was Alex and I was worried you were going to be mad at him.

And, also, I don't do bad things.

I was, am, scared that me not hating every second of it is going to make you want to have me do other stuff. Like drink. And I don't want to do that.

At least, not until I'm 21

k. hummel:
Well, yeah I mean Alex is a real asshole, I don't like to think about what his motivations were for getting you high, but Blaine, you may not do "bad" things, but you know I do. I'm not going to jump on you about that, I think you have that covered for the both of us.

I would never force anything on you, Blaine.

b. anderson:
Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm just overreacting.

k. hummel:
Okay, just... breathe. We're good okay?

b. anderson:
It's what Peter calls "projecting." He says I do it a lot. I'm mad at me so I assume other people are going to be mad at me, too.

I probably do it a lot without realizing it.

Right, breathing. Thank you for not being upset?

k. hummel:
I'm not upset. Not even a little, though I do think I need to do a better job communicating with you. I think it's the way we started things off. We need to find a balance of some sort. Because even if I'm not hanging out with you in public, I want you to trust at least enough to know you can tell me things like that.

b. anderson:
What? That I did it or that I didn't hate it?

And if you mean going to a party

I don't do it often enough to really think it's something I have to get used to telling you stuff.

Plus, you never tell me anything about what you do or where you go? Why should I do any different?

k. hummel:
No, I just mean, anything, you can't be scared of me. Afraid I'll be mad all the time. Whatever, you don't have to tell me anything it's not that, it's the being afraid part I don't like.

b. anderson:
I'm working on it.

k. hummel:
You're afraid of me?

b. anderson:
No!

No

Not you.

I just...back before I was here, at Dalton, my grandfather and I.

Well, he didn't like when I messed up. And I messed up a lot.

According to him, at least.

So I don't like telling people when I do something that isn't...good.

But I'm working on it.

k. hummel:
He sounds like an asshole, Blaine. You've pretty much mastered that perfectly polite school boy thing. And shit. No wonder you... fuck Blaine. I wish I'd known that before... but I'm just not... We can do better, okay? You work on you and I'll work on not being so fucking intimidating. I like what we do, you know? I like it.

b. anderson:
You would know if we actually talked, Kurt. I like what we do, too. But we don't talk.

Scratch that.

You don't talk.

I talk all the time.

But you never tell me anything.

Sorry.

You don't have to tell me anything.

It's your life.

k. hummel:
I know. I know I do that. I don't really, I don't even know when that became a thing I do. Don't apologize okay? This is ... maybe one of those conversations we should have had a long time ago.

b. anderson:
We don't have to have this onversation. Really, we don't. Not right now. I haven't talked to you in a while. We don't have to be serious right now. The only reason I even brought it up was because Denice, she said that I should tell you because I liked it. And because it made me feel mostly good.

You see? This is what happens when I try to do anything remotely close to "sexy." I end up making the conversation go a thousand different ways from the way it went in my head.

k. hummel:
Yeah, I'm not trying to make this a big deal it doesn't have to be, I'm just going to say this one thing and then we can talk about whatever. I'll see what I can do about, maybe be a little more open, okay? And yeah I like to get high so it makes sense that Denice would tell you that. But I would never press you into doing it again unless you wanted to.

It's okay, we can move on if you like. See we can talk, I'm talking.

b. anderson:
I'm trying to take the guilt out of the situation. Because I think I did like it.

k. hummel:
I think that's a good start.

b. anderson:
Except for when I got scared we were going to get caught, it was good. I was, um, fuzzy like in my brain.

k. hummel:
And relaxed?

I get this loose feeling all over.

b. anderson:
Yeah. I almost felt floaty?

And I wanted to touch. Stuff.

Everything, really.

k. hummel:
Yeah, that's part of what I like. Touching gets really happy.

b. anderson:
Alex let me play with his hair for a while.

But his hair is short, and kind of weird.

k. hummel:
I'm sure he did. hahaha. Yeah it is.

b. anderson:
Your hair would be nice.

It's soft.

k. hummel:
Is that your way of saying this is somehting I can look forward to someday?

b. anderson:
I kind of, yes?

I might want to try it again. But only if it's with you.

Not at a party.

k. hummel:
I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, Blaine Anderson.

b. anderson:
I'm just worried about one thing.

k. hummel:
What's that?

b. anderson:
When me and Alex were at the party, my heart started beating really fast and I thought someone was going to find me. Even though we were being quiet.

And even when I was in my room, I thought I would get caught.

k. hummel:
Well, let me work on that, okay? Maybe there's some way to get off campus a bit? Or... maybe we can just talk about doing it for now. You getting paranoid is sort of the last thing I want to happen if we do this. It's all about being relaxed and floaty and... yeah we can work on it.

b. anderson:
The feeling? That's normal?

Because Alex was laughing at me when I told him I was scared.

k. hummel:
Lots of people get paranoid when they're doing something like that. He's an ass. He probably pissed himself with fright the first time he broke the rules.

b. anderson:
Do you? Get paranoid?

k. hummel:
I don't now, but I did, the first time I got high I begged to stay at my friend's house so my dad wouldn't see me. I was sure he would know just by looking at me, lol.

b. anderson:
If it was just us, do you think I'd be okay?

k. hummel:
Maybe. We could... we could just lock my door and stay in all night. On a weekend night. No one would bother us. Or if that's too much I know a few choice spots throughout the grounds here...

b. anderson:
That sounds...kind of nice, actually. Except not the outdoors, roaming the grounds of Dalton at night part. I've never really been a good "nature" person. Especially at night.

k. hummel:
Okay, my room it is then, I'll even provide some choice junk food items and we'll make a night of it. You can bring some music that's really chill for you too.

b. anderson:
Wait, so does that mean I could stay the night?

k. hummel:
Well, just... I was thinking sending you out after getting you high, and after promising to try and make things safer feeling? It just seemed... you should just stay that night.

b. anderson:
No, yeah, thanks for that. It's only one night. Not a big deal.

k. hummel:
Right, I mean, we can totally make that a thing, you know? Like, if we're going to smoke, you'll stay. It just makes sense. Logically.

b. anderson:
Um, yeah.

Sorry. I'm internally freaking out a little bit.

I've never actually smoked before.

Is that...doesn't that smell?

More.

Than food, I guess.

Er, yeah. I have no idea what I'm saying.

For the "I can get kicked out of school if I get caught doing this" thing.

I know we won't. Get caught. And then in trouble. And expelled. I know we won't.

k. hummel:
I won't let that happen to you. Nope.

b. anderson:
Sorry, it's a reflex.

Hey, Kurt? What are you supposed to do after we do this?

I mean, what do people normally do after?

k. hummel:
After we get high?

b. anderson:
Yeah, that.

k. hummel:
Well, all sorts of things really, it will depend on how we feel. This may not make a whole lot of sense, but it's not always the same. It's always good for me, but it's not always the same. Sometimes, the touching, leads to other things. I think we'd both enjoy that. But a few times it's led to me sprawled over my bed listening to music and feeling it in my bones. I've also laughed so hard I cried. Like for hours. And it felt fantastic. Whatever we do, we'll have fun, I'm sure.

b. anderson:
No, it makes sense that it's not the same every time, I think. Everything is situational. I think, no matter what happens, it'll be good, then. Especially with you. If it's doing nothing or other stuff, that sounds...nice

Actually nice, the dictionary definition, you know? Pleasant.

k. hummel:
I think so. So I'll see you for dinner Friday, okay?

b. anderson:
Right, yes. See you at dinner. Friday