March 23, 2012, 10:04 a.m.
Just Like in Fairy Tales: Chapter 7
K - Words: 4,906 - Last Updated: Mar 23, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Aug 04, 2011 - Updated: Mar 23, 2012 952 0 0 0 1
They were in his and Blaine's room again, Thad spread out on Blaine's bed, and Kurt sitting at his desk with the last of his homework for the night.
"So, what are you going to do this weekend?" Thad asked. He rolled over on the bed so he was on his stomach and rested his head on his hands. "It's sectionals so we're not going to be around most of Saturday. I miss when competition was held on weekdays."
Kurt hadn't even thought about Sectionals. Blaine hadn't mentioned it in the small amount of time he spent in their dorm when he wasn't at practice or on a date, and he wasn't around Wes or David - who were obviously busy with preparing for Sectionals - enough to have remembered that they were coming up. Thad, also had his own amount of responsibility to deal with, but he somehow managed to get everything done before Blaine left for his dates, so he could insert himself into Kurt's dorm and sometimes do nothing more than just watch him.
'I don't know' Kurt wrote on his constant companion, the dry erase board.
"Well, you won't have homework," Thad said, "I've pretty much made sure of that - aren't I wonderful - you could go visit your family or something."
No, he couldn't. They were going to be at the competition. His friends were his family, not to mention he was pretty sure his dad would tag along with Carole to go watch them perform.
Kurt shook his head.
"Too far away? You could leave Friday night and come back Sunday. Lots of people do it. It shouldn't be too far that you could drive yourself here, now could it."
Kurt looked away from Thad and his searching gaze. Sometimes he thought that Thad was just there to watch him, to question his every move. He didn't understand why, but there were times when he thought Thad was prying just a bit too much. It was as if he knew.
'My semi-quasi stepbrother's in show choir too. My dad will probably go watch him with his mom.' Kurt wrote it out on a post it and handed it to Thad.
"Oh," Thad said. There was a suspicious glint in his eyes. It was lucky, Kurt decided, that Blaine entered the room right at that moment.
Thad got up from Blaine's bed, fixing the duvet where he'd wrinkled it. Blaine looked between them.
"I thought Kurt was finished with all the make-up work," he said.
Thad shrugged. "He is. I just like hanging out with him, and you know there's an added bonus of being able to actually walk around your room."
Blaine cleared his throat. "You were in my bed."
"Yes, and it was very comfortable. Anyway, I should go, I was just giving Kurt some company. He is allowed to have friends, Blaine. Not that it matters why we should be explaining ourselves. See you tomorrow, Kurt. Blaine."
Kurt smiled and saluted at Thad, who laughed as he closed the door behind him. He then turned to look at Blaine, wondering what had just happened. He grabbed the board and a marker, ready to write out his question, but Blaine sighed and then dropped to his bed.
"I'm sorry," he said, "that was just…uncalled for. I don't even know…I just had a terrible time tonight. I've had a terrible time at each of these dates…"
Kurt gave him a look that asked why he kept going. Blaine seemed to understand.
"I can't just cancel on them after Wes has made it such a point of finding these guys who are all supposedly perfect for me and even started making reservations. I keep telling him he should be more focused on the Warblers or perhaps put all this effort to starting a dating site or something, not that it'd be successful, obviously."
Blaine groaned and dropped onto his side on the bed. Kurt from across the room, walked to his side and sat down on the space next to him, pushing him on his back. Blaine watched him.
"I never thought it'd be easy, you know, the dating thing. I don't even know that I want to keep doing it, but wouldn't it be nice to have that one person you can rely on, you know?"
Kurt nodded and reached to brush back Blaine's hair. He'd run out of gel earlier that day, so his hair was only half gelled and by now that small amount had practically disappeared.
"And my hair!" Blaine cried suddenly. He reached a hand up to pull at a curl into his vision.
Kurt laughed, the sound still only faint. He tugged Blaine's hand away and then stood up.
"Where are you going?" Blaine asked. It came out as a whine. "I like being able to rant to you like this. Please come back."
Kurt raised a finger and grabbed his phone. Blaine had gotten better and better at making out what Kurt meant just by his facial expressions, or miming, but as hilarious as his guessed could sometimes be, Kurt didn't feel like wasting any time. He was tired of what this week had become.
He was downright miserable knowing Blaine was out somewhere with some guy that didn't even know him as well as Kurt now did. Living together really did make Kurt aware about every nuance of Blaine's. He knew how Blaine stretched out in the morning, letting Kurt catch a glimpse of the skin of his navel. He knew that Blaine couldn't function properly until he'd had his first cup of coffee, and that there was no telling him anything before then. He knew that Blaine liked how the Dalton blazer gave him confidence. He knew that Blaine knew next to nothing about fashion but still made attempts that Kurt always needed to fix, sometimes with his own wardrobe. He knew that Blaine pretended to be perfect and okay, but he was as insecure and imperfect as everyone else.
Kurt sat down next to him again and Blaine shifted a bit more to make more room for him, and then pulled himself to a sitting position, before he dropped himself into Kurt's chest. Kurt took in a deep breath. Blaine had never done that before. But the lack of awkwardness that came from it didn't surprise Kurt. Blaine moved a bit more until he was on side and comfortably curled up into Blaine.
"I hope," he said shyly, "I hope this is okay."
Nodding, Kurt typed, 'Why was this one worse?' and held his phone for Blaine to look at.
"Well," Blaine began, "to begin with he goes to Westerville High, which you know at once put me off. He wasn't bad looking, but too much of a penchant for black. All he wanted to talk about is how he's going to try out for American Idol. And I mean, American Idol, come on! He also kept checking out the waiter, who was incidentally wearing eyeliner and actually looked more my type." Blaine sighed and sank into Kurt.
Kurt lifted his arms to wrap them around Blaine and Blaine cuddled closer. Kurt wondered for a moment what he was thinking about and how he could just get back to their dorm and just fall into his arms like he hadn't been out on a date with another guy.
"I just…he was nice. They're all nice. They just don't get me." He lifted his head to look at Kurt, "you get me."
Kurt nodded and waited with baited breath for Blaine to say something else, but he didn't. They laid like that for a while longer, until Blaine got up.
"I guess I should go shower."
Kurt stayed on Blaine's bed watching him grab his pajamas before heading to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed, Kurt sank farther into Blaine bed. It wasn't fair that Blaine could go out and date and not realize that Kurt was there right in front of him, perfect for him in every way. It was the lack of voice, he knew, Thad had explained it to him when he'd questioned it the other day in a fit of annoyance. Blaine wanted to date someone that could sing with him. Kurt had almost spilled everything to Thad right then and there. The irony was not lost on him. The spell had taken the one thing that would have made Blaine his. Kurt sat up on Blaine's bed and grabbed the pillow behind him, hugging it to his chest and letting Blaine's scent drift over him. On his pillow, Kurt could barely make out the smell of his gel. Instead his shampoo stood out clearly as well as something that was inherently Blaine.
When he heard the water stop, he got off Blaine's bed and grabbed his own pajamas to change into. He had just taken off his shirt when Blaine reentered the room, dabbing his hair with a towel. He stopped.
Kurt heard the towel drop.
"Kurt…"
He tried to get the white cotton top on before Blaine could come closer, but Blaine snatched it away and then he laid one of his hands on Kurt's back.
The bruises were almost gone. They didn't hurt anymore, but having bruises upon bruises meant that the healing took longer. His back was still a myriad of colors, but not to the extent it had been when he'd first arrived.
"What is this, Kurt?" Blaine asked. His voice held just contained anger. "God, your back, Kurt." He moved his hand softly in a reassuring manner. "This is why you came to Dalton, then, isn't it?"
Kurt nodded and gulped. He'd somehow been able to ignore the bruises and thinking about Karofsky and the other bullies, but having someone see the evidence. Having Blaine touch his back gently and knowing that he was angered on his behalf made not thinking about it harder than it should have been,
Blaine pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I am so so sorry you had to go through that. You of all people."
Kurt felt something wet on his shoulder and for a moment convinced himself that it was Blaine's hair dripping on him that had done it, but he knew Blaine was crying.
"I…I had bullies too. I told you, I did. But they never…god, Kurt." He'd pulled back long enough to meet Kurt's eyes as he spoke, but as soon as he was done he was pressing himself against Kurt again as if his hug could undo it all.
Kurt thought he couldn't breathe. Blaine was right there, holding him tightly and upset over a few bruises on his back, his warm hands still running over his bare back. Kurt felt his eyes sting. No one had ever reacted this way to the bullying he'd gone through. Even Rachel, as much as she tried to help, had only helped with cleaning him up as did most of the girls. Finn tended to ignore it all together. The other boys probably hadn't even realized how bad it got.
He sighed into Blaine, letting the other boy be his strength for once. This was what a relationship was all about, being able to let those walls drop, allowing those weaknesses that were normally hidden from everyone else out. But they weren't in a relationship, not unless their friendship counted. Kurt pulled back and Blaine looked at him, surprised, but didn't pull him back or ask anything.
Kurt slipped his shirt on and pointedly did not look at Blaine, walking around him to head into the bathroom for his moisturizing routine. He left the door open out of habit and opened the cabinet. He heard Blaine follow and saw him lean against the door.
"I know you may not want to talk about it, but it can help. I know what it was like and how hard it must have been for you, and talking is hard, but it's better than internalizing everything."
Kurt began the nightly routine, not even paying attention to what he was doing, his eyes finding Blaine's via the reflection in the mirror.
"Will you tell me?"
He gave a sharp nod.
"No pressure. I just…I know what it did to me and when I finally talked about it, it didn't make it go away, but it did make it better. I'll go wait for you."
Kurt nodded again and waited until Blaine left to let himself droop in the chair. He didn't know if he could do this.
- - -
He's been going on dates all week, and coming to our dorm looking miserable. I want to feel bad about feeling so happy about this, but I can't. Maybe it'll open his eyes.
I hate and love how comfortable we've become with each other. I want it to mean more, but even just as friends, I'll take his every touch.
From the diary of Kurt Hummel
- - -
Blaine had suspected that something had happened to Kurt back at his old school. Kurt acted at times like Blaine himself had acted when he'd first transferred. The dreams those first two nights, how shy of touch he was sometimes, and just certain mannerisms of his, how jumpy he got at times.
Blaine sat on the edge of his bed, waiting. He'd been so shocked when he'd come out of the bathroom to see the fading bruises covering Kurt's back. They looked like they were still hurting him, but somehow Kurt hid the pain well or he was too used to it to notice anymore, Blaine didn't know which he should be worried about more.
When Kurt finally appeared, he looked scared, but determined somehow. He walked over to his bed first and grabbed the laptop that rested there, closed and then walked back to Blaine's bed. Blaine watched him, taking in every movement.
Not wanting to startle him or make him regret deciding to tell him about it, Blaine sat in silence although he wanted to just keep reassuring Kurt. More than anything, though, Blaine wanted to reach over and pull him into another hug.
Blaine stood up and moved back on his bed, so he was against the headboard, leaving enough room for Kurt to sit beside him or across from him.
Kurt, after a moment of hesitation, during which their eyes met yet again, sat down next to Blaine and made himself comfortable, pulling the lap top onto his lap and opening the lid. He typed in his password quickly. A word document was already open, but Kurt deleted everything on it before Blaine could catch a glimpse, and then he began to type.
'I know you're going to have some kind of reaction, and I haven't told anyone before. I couldn't. I didn't want to tell anyone, but you, well, telling you would be okay. Out of everyone, it'd be okay. I want you to read everything before you say anything.'
Blaine nodded. "Alright."
Kurt had already started typing again and Blaine read as he did so.
' I was always bullied, that was just how it was at my old school. I wasn't the only one and really it wasn't that bad. It started freshman year with slushies being thrown at me and the jocks throwing me in the dumpster.'
Blaine fought the urge to speak and tell him how terrible that was. This had never happened to him.
' In the halls they pushed me into lockers, sometimes just because, other times to get me out of their way. I was used to it. I didn't really have friends then. But I did eventually make friends and things were better for a while. The bullying continued but the extent of it wasn't as much. Then, this year one guy, one of my bullies really had it out for me. He just kept coming after me. I guess I was getting tired of it. So, I snapped and I yelled at him and chased him into the locker room'
Blaine didn't like where it was going. Something terrible must have happened. Kurt stiffened beside him and stopped typing. Blaine reached for his hand and squeezed it. Kurt tilted his head to look at him with tear filled eyes that matched Blaine's. Blaine tugged into a half hug that could offer some comfort to the younger boy.
Kurt sank into his arms and they stayed like that for a while, until Kurt sat up again to continue typing. Blaine didn't know if he even wanted to know anymore.
'We shouted some things, I can't even remember what I said, really, but then I thought he was going to hit me, he had his fist raised up right in front of me and I was pressed up against the locker. But instead of hitting me, finally doing what I thought he'd wanted to all along, he…'
Kurt dropped back into Blaine, hands shaking violently. There was fear in his eyes and something else, disgust, Blaine thought. The tears that had been pooling in his eyes were flowing freely now and Kurt looked more vulnerable, more broken than he ever had before. Yet there was this ethereal beauty about him as well.
He reached for the laptop again, but Blaine stilled his hands with his own. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to...just from how you're reacting I can tell he did something terrible to you and I just don't want you to be obligated to tell me."
Kurt got an odd look on his face, then, a look that Blaine had never seen on his face before and he began to smile a little and before Blaine knew it, he was turning his face and leaning towards Blaine, his lips landing on Blaine's cheek in a soft kiss.
Blaine gasped, his cheeks burned and his skin where Kurt's lips had been, tingled.
Kurt blushed, and dropped his head to Blaine's shoulder. They still held hands and Blaine thought that the feeling in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach from just that much closeness with Kurt was more than he'd felt with any of the boys he'd been going out with all week.
Some moments later, Kurt reached for the laptop.
'I trust you. I want to tell you. He kissed me, Blaine. Karofsky kissed me.'
Blaine gasped. "No," he said, and then, "did he do anything else?"
Kurt shook his head.
"Good. I mean, it's terrible that he did that, but it was only that and…oh, god, Kurt."
Kurt closed the computer lid and pushed the laptop away. Blaine pulled him back and they sat together on Blaine's bed, clutching each other's hands and pressed closely together. Blaine held as still as possible, not knowing if he was allowed to pull Kurt closer.
Ten minutes later, they were still in the same position and Kurt had his eyes closed. There was a frown marring his brow and Blaine shifted a bit, to get more comfortable. Kurt followed him. It was only then that Blaine realized Kurt was fast asleep.
"I don't understand how you can be so comfortable with anyone touching you after what you've been through," Blaine whispered, "or how someone could ever think of hurting you."
Blaine, as much as he enjoyed having Kurt next to him and could have easily fallen asleep right then and there with Kurt in his arms, knew that it wasn't a good idea for a number of reasons. Kurt had not only been through something that must have been traumatic with his bully, but staying with him this way even to offer comfort would give Kurt the wrong impression and Blaine still wasn't sure what he felt for Kurt or if Kurt even thought of him that way, for that matter.
So, Blaine picked Kurt up, surprised at his weight. Kurt always looked so small - though taller than Blaine - and thin that Blaine had not expected for him to actually weight something.
Blaine carried him anyway and set him down gently on the floor so he could peel back Kurt's covers and put him between them. He tucked Kurt into bed and on impulse leaned down to press a kiss to Kurt's forehead. His skin was as soft as it looked and Blaine decided that the skin regime he kept religiously was not something that really should not be interrupted if it gave those kind of results.
"I'm so sorry any of this happened to you, Kurt," Blaine whispered.
- - -
Kurt. Just Kurt. What excuse is there to hurt him. I can't even imagine anyone that could even think about doing anything like that to him. He didn't say it, but I could tell, that was his first kiss.
I've never kissed anyone. I can't even begin to imagine what it would feel like, to have something that precious, that important just stolen, and it happened to Kurt. I just want to lean over and show him that that kiss meant nothing. But I can't.
I'm more confused than ever.
From the journal of Blaine Anderson
- - -
The day that the Warblers left for Sectionals, found Kurt on Google, looking up where Sectionals were being held that year and then writing it down on a post it before he headed to his car and put the address into his GPS. It was a crazy plan, and one that hadn't come to him until he waved off Thad asking him if he'd be alright staying at Dalton without them.
He wasn't even going because he wanted to support the Warblers, or even watch Blaine perform. Instead he wanted to see New Directions. He wanted to be there for his team.
For the first time since he'd gotten to Dalton, he texted Rachel.
Coming to see you guys at Sectionals, good luck. - Kurt
He didn't bother checking if she had replied, and set out on the hour long drive. He would get there just in time to see the performances. If he remembered correctly, these things went on for a while with each group taking their time for preparation before going on stage. He didn't care much for the drama that would undoubtedly unfold in the green room, but he wanted to be with them with such a longing, that he realized he must have been repressing how much he missed his friends during his time at Dalton. He wanted to go up there and sing with them, belt out whatever song, even if he was singing in the background. He would have had a solo for this competition.
By the time Kurt got to the place Sectionals were at this year, the parking lot was getting filled up. He parked his car farther off just in case and in an outfit that he hoped would not give him away to the Warblers, left the car, and checked his phone. There was no reply from Rachel, but the moment he entered the building, he spotted her yelling at one of the workers behind the concession stand and smiled to himself.
He had opened his mouth to shout her name, before realizing that he couldn't speak. Instead he crossed the room and tapped his shoulder.
"What is it?" She asked in an annoyed tone, but once she turned, broke out into a grin, before she threw herself at him. "Kurt," she breathed as Kurt stumbled back.
Rachel pulled him away from the crowd. "It's so good to see you, Kurt. How is everything? What happened to you? I…everyone thinks your dad decided to send you to Dalton because of Karofsky, and I know what really happened. Why are you here anyway? You're not with the Warblers, are you?"
Kurt again opened his mouth before he remembered that he couldn't actually talk. He touched his throat and then reached for his phone.
'The stage took my voice until I am truly happy. I miss you guys so much, but Dalton, it's just what I needed and Blaine, he's wonderful.'
Rachel clapped a hand to her mouth as she frowned at him in a mixture of shock and sadness.
"Oh, Kurt. Your voice." She pulled him into another hug, "that must be terrible. I…this is all my fault isn't it?" She stepped back and stared at him for a moment, before looking at her watch. "I have to go. Listen, if you stick around later we can catch up. I'll do anything to help you with getting your voice back. I can't even imagine what I would do. I'm so glad I didn't go through with wishing for anything, and I'm so sorry I even took you there. I'll help you, Kurt."
She hugged him one last time and then headed off. He stared after her before he proceeded to the theater to find a seat.
Kurt sat down near the back and entertained himself by playing a game on his phone while he waited for it to begin. From time to time, he made sure that no one he knew was around. If Rachel hadn't known he was mute, then it was very much possible that none of the rest of New Directions or his dad, for that matter, knew, and he didn't want to take a shot at explaining what had happened to him.
When The Hipsters went on stage, Kurt put his phone away and watched them. They really were no competition to either New Directions or The Warblers. He applauded them anyway and waited impatiently the five minutes it took for The Warblers to get on stage.
He'd heard them rehearsing often enough to know what they'd be singing, but watching them perform was something else entirely. Blaine was right at the front, bouncing around the stage. Kurt couldn't stop smiling as he watched them. They looked like they were having so much fun despite their questionable choreography.
When they were done, applause erupted from the audience, Kurt clapping furiously, but still rooting for New Directions than his new school's team. The crowd quieted down a bit before New Directions came out. He was only mildly surprised when Sam and Quinn entered from the back, more surprised about Sam and Quinn being the ones to sing than anything else.
They sounded amazing together, and when the curtains were pulled back and the rest of New Directions appeared, dancing perfectly he wanted to just run up there and dance with them.
The some came to an end and suddenly Santana had a mic in hand and sang as she danced. Kurt gasped in surprise. He knew Santana was good, but Mr. Shuester would never have given her a solo for Sectionals. What had happened to Rachel and Finn singing lead in everything? Now, he understood why she'd been so disgruntled earlier. What he didn't know was if this had been a good move or not. The Warblers had been equally as good and all that New Directions really had over them was the choreography.
He clapped loudly when they finished and walked off the stage. There'd be ten or so minutes until they returned with the judges having decided. he saw Mr. Shuester leave the theater and was glad to not have been noticed.
When the three glee clubs came back onto the stage with Mr. Shue, Kurt waited for the results and was more than pleasantly surprised when it was a tie between the Warblers and New Directions. Loud cheers erupted from around him and the stage. He longed to be up there with them. He sat, and just kept watching them as they congratulated each other and then eventually began leaving the stage.
People in the audience were leaving too, and Kurt waited for a little longer before he got up and walked to the exit. He didn't know where he was supposed to meet Rachel, but headed in the general direction of the green rooms.
Too many people, meant that the walk there was slow and full on running into people. Maybe it was because of this, that Kurt didn't see two Warblers spot him or hear them call his name. Rachel's appearance, Kurt did catch and he pushed forwards until he was next to her.
"I told them my dads are taking me home even though there's talk of a party. They couldn't make it because of work of course, but no one knows that. I told Finn to text me. Come one, your car is here right?"
Kurt nodded and offered his arm. Rachel took it and leaned into him.
"I missed you, Kurt, so much."
Questions floated in Kurt's mind about everything, but he knew he'd have to hold them back until he was able to write or type everything out.
- - -
Suddenly the loss of my voice is hitting me again. I want to go back to my dorm, crawl into my bed and just sleep until Blaine gets back and he can remind me why I gave so much up.
From the diary of Kurt Hummel