All he remembered was holding onto a hand that he still hadn’t let go even while sitting in the waiting room.

It was too white, with cheap wall paper made up of random shapes in light, pastel colors. The carpet in contrast was darker, and the chair were all uncomfortable and squeaked when someone moved. Had Kurt been a better state of mind, he could have redesigned the room in his mind.

Amie was seated across from him with Finn and Rachel. Rachel was leaning against Finn and looked as if she’d been crying. At least they weren’t fighting anymore. Carole stood by one of the few windows and he knew she was definitely crying. He wondered if he should get up and join her. Amie beat him to it. He was glad. He didn’t want to leave his seat and the hand that was anchoring him down.

The hand he held flexed, letting him go for a moment and he turned and was almost surprised to find Blaine there.

“Sorry. Cramp.”

Kurt blinked. His anchor was Blaine. It was Blaine’s hand that he’d been holding and Blaine’s hand that kept him from freaking out even further. Why was Blaine there?

“Kurt?”

“Thank you,” he muttered.

Blaine nodded and he offered his hand. Kurt took it at once, sliding his hand onto it and letting their fingers twine. It looked right. It felt right. There was a small contrast between their skin color. Blaine was tanner and Kurt had always been paler than anything. He liked seeing their hands together again. He looked back up at Blaine.

He was frowning, looking a mix of worried and scared. His father meant something to Blaine too. He squeezed his hand. “It’ll be okay.”

“I should be saying that to you.”

It was about an hour before anyone appeared to give them any news and it came from a tired looking doctor.

“It was a mild heart attack caused by a blocked artery. Basically blood wasn’t getting to his heart and that caused it,” she told them, “he’s still out and some tests are being run, but it looks like he’ll be alright, you should be able to see him soon and we think he’ll be just fine.”

“Oh, thank god,” Carole breathed and wiped at her eyes. Kurt didn’t even know how he’d responded.

It was another half hour before they were allowed to see him and Kurt followed the nurse and Carole with Blaine at his side, hands still held together. He doubted that anything could have torn them apart. It was how it was supposed to be. Blaine was supposed to be by his side. Kurt didn’t want to think about what would have happened if Blaine wasn’t with him.

Burt was in a single. His bed took up most of the room, but it was still big enough to accommodate a small sofa and two chairs for guests. He was connected to a whole bunch of machines but he was breathing on his own and he only looked like he was asleep.

Carole was on his side at once, her hands touching his face as silent tears poured down her cheeks. She kissed his forehead and then grabbed his hand in both of hers. He and Blaine stood at the foot of his bed and Kurt didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even realize he too was crying until his vision blurred. He lifted his empty hand to wipe at his eyes and then slowly he let go of Blaine’s as he walked to the other side of the bed.

The doctor had already told them Burt wasn’t going to wake up for three more hours, but Kurt couldn’t help but let himself childishly hope that it’d be sooner than that.

Almost an hour later, Blaine got up from the sofa where he’d been on the phone making the call to the Hummel’s publicist to go over the statement she was giving to the press who’d gotten wind of what’d happened and were speculating away. He’d seen a few of them outside the hospital when they arrived and he was sure there’d be pictures in the morning.

“I should go,” he said, “I’m sure Nick picked up Mia, but…”

“Oh, of course, Dear,” Carole said, “don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay. You didn’t have to stay.”

Blaine nodded but muttered, “yes, I did.”

Kurt looked up at Blaine from the chair he’d pulled up closer to the bed and he tried to say something, but couldn’t. Because of course Blaine had to leave. Blaine had to get home to Nick and to his daughter. He wasn’t Kurt’s. It hurt to remember that, and to know that he couldn’t demand that Blaine stay there and hold him until everything was okay.

“Call me if anything changes. He was…he is like a father to me.”

Carole stood up and moved towards Blaine. She pulled him into a tight hug. “The moment anything happens for the better or worse we’ll let you know.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back when I can.”

Kurt turned back to his father only when Blaine had left the room. It somehow felt emptier.

- - -

“Leaving?”

Blaine nodded. Finn and Rachel carried coffee from the Starbucks across the street where Carole had sent them earlier.

“I have to make sure my daughter’s okay and really it should just be family.”

Finn frowned. “But you are family, dude.”

Blaine shook his head. It did feel that way sometimes and he had just told Carole and Kurt that he pretty much considered Burt as a parental figure, but really they weren’t his family.

“Anyway,” Rachel said, “here. We got you one, and now it’ll just go to waste.”

He grabbed the cup of coffee she was thrusting at him and thanked her.

“Not sure if the caffeine’s a good idea right now, but alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Make sure Kurt actually eats something…he’ll try to talk around it, but he…” He stopped, realizing what he was doing. “Just, take care of him, he’ll be really fragile right now.”

Rachel nodded even while giving him a speculative look. He walked past them with his coffee and walked to the elevator.

By the time he got home it was late enough that he didn’t expect Nick or Mia to be awake. He’d texted Nick earlier letting him know he was staying at the hospital for a few hours, but Nick hadn’t responded. Blaine could hardly even remember if they’d exchanged words before he was leading Kurt with the help of Amie to the car that would take them to the hospital. It had been chaos and really his main focus had been on Kurt.

He entered making as little noise as he could and took off his shoes and coat by the door, dropping them in the dark living room before proceeding to his and Nick’s room. Nick was in bed as expected, but he was awake. The TV was on, but muted, and Nick propped up against their pillows looked as if that was the last place he wanted to be.

“I expect you to at least give me a week. Maybe two,” he said breaking the silence after Blaine had finally fully entered the room and tried to figure out just what he should say.

“What?”

Nick pushed the duvet that had been covering his legs and got out of the bed. “Two weeks,” he said, “I need at least that to move out. Unless, that is, you plan to move out. But, you know, I was thinking Mia might actually gain from the stability of staying in a place she knows considering everything that’s about to change.”

Blaine had no idea what to say. When he left the hospital he’d known there’d have to be a conversation with Nick. He would have expected it even if Burt hadn’t had a heart attack. But the lateness of the hour had almost assured him that Nick would be in bed – he was meeting with a new artist early the next morning and had even used that as a possible excuse to not go to the party – and he wouldn’t have to deal with it until the next day. He hadn’t prepared for this. But it had to happen.

“It’s just, Blaine, I give up. Or – no, that’s not the right way of putting it – maybe…how about, I’m setting you free. Yes, that sounds better.”

Nick walked from around his side of the bed to where Blaine was standing just within the room. He stopped just in front of Blaine and his face was lit by different colors from the commercial on the TV.

“Just what I’m saying, Blaine,” he said, “I can’t do this anymore and frankly, I don’t think you can either. Tonight has shown me as much, if nothing else. So, give me two weeks.”

It hit him hard. But he was also filled with relief. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. Granted, he hadn’t thought this would be the outcome, not this quickly. Blaine had expected there to be more yelling, maybe even tears. Instead he was relieved and struck with shock and in the dim light he could see that Nick was only just holding it together.

“Say something,” Nick said and Blaine could hear the emotion in his voice.

“Is this really how it ends, then?”

Nick snorted. “What did you expect?” He closed his eyes and gulped, “you do love him though, don’t you?”

Blaine nodded. “I loved you.”

Nick gasped in a breath. “Don’t.” He turned away.

“No,” Blaine said and he stepped closer. He slowly lifted a shaky hand and placed it on Nick’s cheek, turning him to face him again, “you have to know that these past few years were not me waiting for him. We were happy, weren’t we? I did love you. Don’t just write that off.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Nick said and he stepped back. Blaine’s hand fell from his cheek, “just give me those two weeks.” He coughed and went past Blaine and added, “and promise me I can still see her.”

Blaine nodded.

“Thank you.”

He heard Nick walk down the hall and a mixture of emotions welled up. He couldn’t describe them all, gripping at him as if they were fighting to be noticed by him. All he knew was that they each contradicted each other as they came.

- - -

It apparently meant something to have money and be one of the biggest donators to the hospital they’d been taken to. Kurt was allowed to stay the entire night at his father’s side despite usual hospital hours and they were actually afforded the privacy requested. Carole had wanted to stay the night too, but Kurt had sent her home with Finn and Rachel, promising to call at any change.

While he sat in the somewhat comfortable chair, Kurt thought. He thought about the phone call he’d received that morning about the company, and he thought about the book of designs that he’d started actually making.

“Why didn’t you tell me who you choose, eh, old man?”

Burt made no response.

But mostly, he thought about Blaine. Blaine who had held his hand the night before and stayed longer than he should have been expected to. He couldn’t get away from thoughts about Blaine.

“How is he?”

Kurt turned his head and found Amie. She held one of those carton cup holders and flowers in the other. She set the flowers down in the empty space on Burt’s bedside table and extended the coffee to Kurt.

“Figured you might need some,” she said.

“They say he could wake up any minute,” Kurt said, “he’s going to be okay. It wasn’t major, you know, and it helps that I’ve forced the staff to not give him anything high on sodium or deep fried.”

Amie smiled. “That’s good.” She sat down on the sofa and Kurt was reminded that Blaine had sat there the night before. “What are you thinking about?”

Kurt shook his head. “nothing.”

“Something,” Amie insisted.

He didn’t know if he should say anything. What if he’d made it up in his head? What if wishing for it so badly had made him think it was possible, when really it wasn’t? All Blaine had done was hold his hand.

“It’s Blaine, isn’t it?” Amie asked.

“It’s always Blaine.”

Kurt jumped. “Dad, you’re awake.”

Burt coughed and tried to sit up. Kurt helped him at once and Amie grabbed the pitcher of water and poured into one of the plastic cups that had been left near it, bringing it to him. Kurt held it up to his lips so he could drink and then set it aside.

“How are you? Does anything hurt? Amie, can you fetch the doctor?”

Burt chuckled. “I’m okay, kid. Feels like heartburn.”

Kurt shook his head and gave his father a steady stare. “Don’t say that,” he said, “you don’t know how scary it was for me.”

The doctor, followed by a nurse and Amie entered. Kurt stepped back to let her take a look at him and fixed his dad with a look that told him to cooperate. Burt rolled his eyes at him. Kurt shook his head but he couldn’t help but smile. He was going to be okay. When the doctor had told him earlier that there was nothing to worry about except maybe getting his dad to really change his diet and exercise more, Kurt had tried hard to believe it and really wrap his mind around it. Seeing him awake, though, and being so lively about it let him believe it.

“Well, everything looks good for now. The tests last night showed that it was a mild heart attack. We’re going to have to put you on medication and I think a change in diet might be in order.”

Burt barely responded.

The doctor wrote something in the chart she’d picked up and then handed it to the nurse.

“I’ll be back later,” she told them and then left the room.

The nurse checked on a few things and then she left as well. For a moment Kurt didn’t know what to do. His dad was going to be okay.

“I’m going to be alright, Kurt,” Burt said.

“Yes,” Kurt said, “I’ll make sure of that. You heard the doctor, diet change.”

Burt groaned, but then he smiled at Kurt again, “I don’t think I expected anything less.”

When Carole arrived a few minutes later, Kurt finally moved from his father’s bedside and then he agreed to go home and get cleaned up. It was only Amie and Burt teaming up against him and Carole’s comment on his wrinkled clothes that finally got Kurt to leave.

“I’ll be back,” he promised.

He walked towards the elevator and stopped only to wait for the doors to open. Around him doctors and nurses walked to and from rooms. He spotted a couple of patients in wheelchairs and others standing on their own as well as family members. The elevator doors opened and Kurt waited for the people within to step out and was surprised to come face to face with Blaine.

“Are you leaving?” He asked.

Blaine looked a mess, as if he’d been the one that had fallen asleep in a somewhat comfortable hospital chair. He wasn’t wearing the clothes from the night before, and he looked like he’d taken a shower, but that didn’t change the fact that he looked horrible.

“Have you gotten any sleep?” Kurt asked and stepped aside of other people on their way into the elevator.

“A few hours,” Blaine said, “not that you look any better.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I stayed here all night, what’s your excuse?”

Blaine pursed his lips. “I need to talk to you about that,” he said, “I’ve been dwelling on it all night.” He seemed to remember his surroundings then, because he asked, “how’s your dad?”

“It was a mild heart attack like they thought. He’s going to be alright. A few more tests and they said they want to keep him for a few more days. Carole and Amie are forcing me to go home. I think knowing he’s actually going to be okay helps.”

Blaine shifted from one foot to the other and looked down the hall. “Can I come with you? You – you don’t have to say yes, it’s stupid but I need to get this off my chest and…”

At that point, Kurt was getting curious. They hadn’t spoken in weeks except for their conversation in the kitchen the night before and Kurt hadn’t expected for Blaine to actually want to talk to him again.

“No, um, yeah, come with me.”

Blaine smiled brightly and they waited for the elevator again. It was awkward for a moment when they fell into silence. It was worse because Kurt could feel him next to him within touching distance. He could still sort of remember how his hand had felt, gripping tightly and fitting just right with his.

They stepped into the elevator and a few other people came with them. They remained in silence, standing towards the back, Kurt trying to make sure no one figured out who he was. It had been all over the news, he knew. Burt Hummel’s heart attack had made headlines, as had the name of the hospital, Lenox Hill.

“Clark is supposed to be waiting for me,” Kurt said once they were outside.

The paparazzi that had been there the night before were for the most part gone and Kurt knew it was because the hospital had asked them to leave and because he hadn’t emerged from the hospital either. Rachel and Finn had caused a riot when they were leaving the night before to get home for their kids. The few photographers left didn’t really pay them any mind and Kurt hoped it would stay that way.

Clark found them, pulling up after they were outside for a few minutes and it was probably that which alerted the few paparazzi around them to who they were.

Blaine opened the door to the car, but already they were taking pictures and throwing questions. They were so loud and all talking at the same time that Kurt wasn’t even sure what they were asking. Blaine pulled at him until he was getting into the car and then he slid in afterwards. Once the door was closed, Clark began to drive.

“Those pictures are going to look horrible,” Kurt said to break the ice.

“I don’t even have gel on,” Blaine groaned.

Kurt began to laugh and Blaine nudged him with his elbow, “sush, you.”

They go to Hummel Plaza in fifteen minutes and Blaine opened the door before Clark could get out of the car to get it. Kurt followed Blaine inside and as they go into the elevator began to really try and figure out just what Blaine wanted to talk to him about.

“Do you want to get a shower and get a change of clothes first?”

His curiosity gnawed at him to just ignore personal hygiene, but looking at Blaine and how obviously nervous he was made him pause before answering.

“I’ll only be fifteen minutes.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “more like thirty.”

If they could keep it at banter everything would be alright. “Twenty.”

He was back in twenty five and Blaine tapped his watch and raised an eyebrow. He was seated with a book open on his lap in the living room. But he closed it and set it aside.

“Fabulousness does not just happen, you know.” Kurt walked to sit down.

Blaine smirked at him. “Is that right?”

Kurt was almost afraid of breaking their small talk. But it had to be done. Whatever it was, it had to be important. Kurt was readying himself for something horrible. While in the shower he’d tried to keep himself from thinking on it, but it’d been hard and he’d gone through a number of scenarios of what it could be and the only thing he could think of was that Blaine was quitting.

“You wanted to talk,” he said.

Blaine nodded. “Yeah. I...this is hard.”

“You can just say it, you know.”

He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. He was staring at him with a strange look in his eyes and then he finally spoke and Kurt gasped. For a moment he didn’t think he’d heard right.

“What?”

“It’s over,” Blaine said, “Nick and I, that is, we’re over.”

Blaine said it casually with some amusement and he rushed towards Kurt, throwing himself on his knees in front of where Kurt was seated and he took his hands, “you know what I feel, Kurt, you must. For weeks now I’ve known it was coming to this and…”

“But…”

Blaine let go of his hand, but only so he could cup his face instead, tilting it downward so Kurt was staring into his eyes; hazel eyes that were filled with joy and excitement and at the same time fear and nerves. But there was one more thing there and Kurt knew it when he saw it.

“Oh,” he breathed and leaned forward.

Their foreheads touched and Kurt let his eyes close.