"Soooo, I saw the spy and you flirting around, holding hands, bouncing with star-crossed love." He was making smooching faces while running around as, what I supposed was, a princess/fairy thing.

"Shut up Thad."

"But you two were so cuuute!" He wiggled his fingers in my face.

"You're ridiculous, you know that right?"

"My mother tells me every day."

"You don't even call your mom every day Thad."

"If I did, I am sure she would say it."

"Whatever, what did you need anyways?"

"Oh! Right! Well Wes refused to do my essay so I was wondering if you could do it?"

"Excuse me?!"

"I. Was. Wondering. If. You. Could. Do. My. Essay."

"No!"

"Why nooot?" He flopped over on my bed, an octopus of flailing limbs.

"Because! It's YOUR work!"

"Ugh, you're no fun Blaine. I'll go ask Nick I guess, though he wouldn't do nearly as good a job at is as you would."

"If your trying to compliment me into doing your homework, it's not working."

He threw his hands up, "Just thought I'd try."

"And for the record? No one is going to do your essay, stop wasting time and write."

"...nah, I'll keep asking...See ya Lover Boy."

"Yeah, yeah..."

Simon skidded in the door as Thad left, "Hey! You wanna do my essay?"

"Sorry...?" Simon looked up at him with stark indignation.

"Thad! Don't pick on the suite-mate! Not cool."

"Again, just thought I'd try."

Simon watched Thad prance down the hall, looking at him like he was a new parasite discovered in Buckingham Palace, "Did he seriously just ask me to do him essay for him?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Because he's Thad, cheater of the Dalton entrance exam."

"Do I even wanna know?"

"Probably not, no."

"Right, so I was thinking we could start with science today?"

"You always want to start with science, I can't stand science!"

"Don't rip my heart out know Blaine, watch your comments. Science has feelings too."

"I prefer to think of it as a heartless monster, but fine, we can work on science..."

"Yes!" Simon nudged up his glasses and jumped onto my navy comforter (people were doing a lot of that today).

"Whatever, lets start this torture."

•••

Flashing lights, taunts, fists, knees, kicks, screams. Blood littered the concrete like newspapers launched out of a second story window. Soft black fabrics torn, stained, with the caked evidence of their crime. It was torment beyond any experience, pain beyond comprehension. My world broke the moment his dying calls ceased, the moment I knew that these malefic devils had won. I felt the scrape of cement against my bones, the fire that shot down my spine, the hands pounding, pulling, tearing, harder and harder.

I gasped awake, shackled in my sheets, sweat drenching me to the core. I couldn't stop heaving in air, shaking in the remnants of haunting memories. Through the veil of darkness I saw the flash of eyeglasses and the outline of a pale face wavering in the doorway, slowly he approached me, like an antelope trying to comfort a mad lion.

"Blaine?" Simon whispered, his voice cracked with sleep.

I swallowed thickly, "I'm-I'm fine."

"You were having another nightmare..."

"I know, sorry."

"You don't have to be, do you want to talk about it?" He seemed unsure about the last remark, saying it more because it was protocol for night frights.

"No."

"Ok, how about I just turn on this lamp then?" I nodded slowly, the warm light flickered on, casting its yellow shadows around the room. Simon's face glowed in the eerie way things do at one in the morning.

"Why-why are you waking me up this time?" My voice was stunted from the night.

"I guess because I know you now? I didn't want it to awkward or anything earlier. I'm sorry I never woke you up before."

"Its alright..."

"So are you gonna be ok?"

"I'll be fine."

He didn't seem convinced but he knew his place, "Do you want the lamp on?" It seemed so childish, light. But it was oddly comforting to be able to see.

"Yes please."

"Night then Blaine, sleep better."

"I'll try."

I didn't even try and go back to sleep, I sat on my bed, knees tucked up to my chin, and watched the steady slip of snow out the dark window. When the halls became light enough to not be frightening, I padded out of the room, guitar in tow, and sat in the common room, strumming random chords in a never ending melody, not bothering to join anyone for breakfast.

•••

As much as my friends (especially Kurt) were remedies to my plight, the nightmares increased as Christmas break loomed ever nearer.

"Blaine, you've got to eat. I refuse to let you go until you have something."

"I'm not hungry Wes."

"Blaine, face it, you're tiny. If you try and run out on me I can pick you up under one arm and force feed you."

"Being 5''8' isn't actually that short Wes..."

"Shut up and eat Blaine."

He shoved a plate of toast at me, I pushed it back, he picked up the bread and put it in my hand, gripping my wrist until I promised to eat it. On the days that I didn't join anyone for breakfast, Wes had taken to bringing up food for me. I made him promise not to tell the other guys what was going on (I think they all knew though, except Kurt. I couldn't worry Kurt, not now). Wes would sit there and rant at me until I finally gave in, Wes could break anyone I swear, and ate a bit of toast. He tried to get me to eat other things too, but eventually just gave in to my love of carbohydrates and stuck with toast.

"Eat ALL of the toast Blaine. You're getting too skinny, eat."

"I'm fine Wes."

"The more you say it the less I believe it, eat the freaking bread."

"I feel childish..."

"Well if you ate we wouldn't be sitting here on the couch fighting would we?"

"Lots of people skip breakfast Wes...."

"And lunch? No, they don't. Look, I believe there is something bigger going on here, and someday I am going to figure it out, but for now all I can do is try not to let you starve yourself." Please don't Wes, please don't try and figure it out. I trust everyone here with my life, don't kill me now."

"I'm fine Wes."

"Eat."

•••

What does one wear when they are meeting their crush's parents? Of course, I have met them all before, but briefly, and going over to their house brings everything to a whole new level. I only had about half an hour before Kurt and I were planning on leaving (why did I always wait until the last minute? Gah!), and I still was just staring blankly into my closet.

"Ooh! What's going on here?" Nick ogled at my closet.

I thumped down on the floor in defeat, "I'm going over to Kurt's for dinner and I don't know what to wear."

"SERIOUSLY?"

"What? Yeah..."

"No, wait, you're going over to KURT'S?"

"Yeah..."

"OMG! Blaaaiine! This is HUGE, you're like totally dating now!"

"Did you really just say omg Nick?"

"This is what the cuteness of klaine does to me!"

"Klaine?"

"Yeah! That's our nickname for Kurt and you when we talk about you two behind your backs."

"Okaaay, but seriously, what should I wear?"

"Wow man, you are head-over-hees, this is the first time you haven't been able to dress yourself."

"Shut up and help Nick."

"What? I don't know! You're the gay one."

"Gee thanks."

"It's true man."

"You said 'OMG' earlier, I think you can help plan an outfit."

"Fine, but no complaining if it's ugly." He tapped his finger on his chin exaggeratedly, "Ok, wear these shoes, and this shirt, you can pick out your own pants."

"And bowtie!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"THANKS!"

"Go get dressed."

"Ok!"

Nick skipped out of the room (I never actually asked him what he needed...), and I looked at the ensemble spayed across my bed. Glistening black boat shoes, a white dress shirt, and a soft black blazer. I placed a pair of red cropped pants beside this (was red too blaring to be wearing to dinner? Who knows) and then put a black and white picnic blanket bowtie on top of it all, like some kind of jeweled crown.

Once fully fitted out in my dapper apparel, I grabbed my leather satchel and headed out to meet Kurt in the main commons.

A few minutes later a bedraggled looking Carver came striding down the stairs like a bored giraffe, "So yeah, Kurt sent me down to tell you that he is running a bit late, and I'm here to tell you that it's because he has changed his outfit like five thousand times. Don't tell him I said that though. The only reason I am actually here instead of making him come is to warn you that if you don't compliment his outfit he will freak out on me every time he gets dressed for the next year and a half...and also because he deserves it."

"Don't worry Carver, I'll make sure to tell him, not that I wouldn't anyways."

He just smirked down at me, "good," before barreling off down to the cafeteria.

"I'm sorry! Did Carver find you? I didn't mean to keep you waiting! I-"

"You look...fantastic..."

"I-oh? Thanks." He reddened high on his cheekbones.

It wasn't Carver's orders that controlled my words, but I. I was breathlessly enamored by Kurt's appearance, by Kurt himself. His hair was coiffed high on his head, a black and white coat fitted snugly around his slim waist. I felt like I had just fallen off a diving board and landed hard on my chest, the possibility of regaining air wasn't even an idea.

"So, are you ready to go?" I nodded, Kurt chuckled quietly at me. I then noticed his suitcase and tried to reach for it when I was stopped by my own bag being pulled off my shoulder, "Hah! I'm the gentleman now Blaine Devon!"

I huffed in mock disappointment and stuffed my hands in my blazer pockets, Kurt leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You look quite fantastic yourself." And now it was my turn to blush merrily.

We were each taking our own car, so I could return to Dalton later in the evening. I opened the passenger door so Kurt could place my almond bag inside, "So I'll just follow you there then?"

"Yeah, traffic shouldn't be to bad."

"Alright see ya there then?"

"Okay!" He smiled with all his teeth, crinkling those lucid tropical eyes.

He looked so handsome out there in the snow, creamy pale except for the rosy spots on his cheeks and his perfect pink lips. Snow lightly dusted the tips of his topaz hair, his shimmering emerald scarf cascading from his neck in rivulets of soft cashmere. I watched his black boots crunch a path of steps in the snow as he made his way over to his car before I climbed in mine.

I followed the glare of his headlights through the snow, highways, side streets, wondering just what home was to him. Would it be like the guy's houses that I camped out in for days over the summer, escaping the empty cavern of antiquities of my own home (of course they never knew the real reason for my stays, just that my parents were "away". It was never a problem though, their parents loved me)? Would it be warm? A library of photographs and stories? Would it reflect their lives in the way any normal home should? I was so immersed in this whirlwind of wonder and want that I almost missed when Kurt's Navigator pulled into a driveway on a quiet little street.

The house was pleasant, windows lit with soft glows that spread across the white lawn like old candles, two stories but still cozy and petite.

It looked the way home should feel.

Kurt tapped on my window to get me to unlock the car, "Coming in?"

"Yeah-yes, sorry."

"You're fine." His eyes twinkled like a little child's under a Christmas tree.

I followed him up the three steps onto the covered porch, he slipped a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, releasing a gush of delectable smells.

"I'm home!" His voice sang through the steamy interior, his bag forgotten at the foot of the stairs, I placed mine in the same fashion.

Standing behind him nervously, I bit my lip less than conspicuously, waiting for whichever occupant of available to appear. It turned out to be Ms. Hudson (I think she kept her last name anyways...maybe I'll just go with the less polite but still acceptable "ma'am").

"Oh! Hello boys! It's so good to see you!" She enveloped Kurt in a stifling hug and the reached out and patted my arm.

"Hi Carole! Where is everyone else?"

"Oh they're just washing up for dinner, they'll be down soon. How are you Blaine?" Oh wow, she remembers my name.

"I'm good, thank you ma'am." Good, that was an improvement over fine right?

"You can call me Carole, dear."

Or I can stick with ma'am...

"Yes ma'am." She let out a small "tsk" but let me stick with my formal nature.

"You two can put your things up later, dinner's almost ready."

Finn came bounding down the stairs at a speed that verged on dangerous, "Hey dudes!"

"Hi Finn," Kurt replied in fond exasperation.

"Nice to see you again Finn."

"Blake, right?"

Kurt sighed, "It's Blaine, Finn, Blaine."

"Right, sorry dude. So, Mom, what's for dinner?" We started our walk towards the kitchen. I tried to take in everything as fast as I could, the house seemed to be everything I had hoped it was, a box of memories and lives on discreet display. It was formed on comfort rather than reputation, and that made my heart squirm with conflicting emotions.

"Well I made spaghetti, but instead of tomato sauce I made alfredo," she turned towards me, "I heard you weren't a fan of red sauce Blaine."

"Anything would have been fine-"

"No! Dude! Stop right there! I hate red sauce too, only Mom doesn't listen to me, only you 'cause you're the guest and stuff. You just like totally saved my night man."

"Um...you're welcome?"

Kurt let out a squeal, "DAD!"

"Hey bud!" Mr. Hummel practically lifted Kurt off his feet, "How are ya kiddo?"

"I'm great! Dad, you remember Blaine right?"

"Oh yeah," he firmly pumped my arm, "Nice seeing you around again son."

Son, my own father never calls me "son".

"You too sir."

"Burt kid, call me Burt."

"Yessir." I received about the same response I had gotten from Carole earlier.

"Hey Finn," Kurt called across the kitchen to where Finn was clandestinely trying to eat spaghetti out of the pot. He slammed the lid back on with a shrug as we all turned to him, "I though Ms. Berry was joining us for dinner."

"Oh no, she decided not to come over until later, she said she couldn't stand eating any more non-vegan meals." Wow, this girl was quite the character.

"Oh, pity."

Finn apparently didn't understand sarcasm, "Yeah, I know right?"

"Hey boys, mind helping with setting the table?" I of course followed them over to Carole, who was holding an armful of dishes, "I didn't mean you Blaine, you're the guest."

"I don't mind. I'll help."

"Alright then," she handed me a fistful of silverware, which I proceeded to place ruler line straight around each plate, earning an approving cocked eyebrow from Carole.

Once the table was set Finn and Mr. Hummel flopped down into chairs, I stayed primly behind mine, waiting for Carole and Kurt to bring the spaghetti over and be seated.

Burt studied my actions closely, "Where'd ya get this one Kurt. He's got manners."

"Dad!"

"What? He does!"

Kurt and I sat down neatly after Carole had done the same (I resisted the VERY strong urge to pull Kurt's chair out for him, I didn't want to give his dad the wrong impression or anything), "Thank you for having me over, it's very kind of you."

"We're glad you could come kid, it's nice to meet some of Kurt's new friends. And you're a nice change from Rachel Berry."

"Hey! She's my girlfriend!"

"Yes," Carole mumbled, "unfortunately she is..."

"You're in that glee thing too right?"

"The Warblers, yes I am."

"Yeah, Rachel's been trying to get me to join for like ever now."

"Why don't you?"

"Kurt really hasn't told you? Glee club at McKinley is like total social suicide, man."

"Oh, well at Dalton glee is like the coolest thing you can be in."

"Weird..."

"Do you like to sing?"

"Oh yeah!I love guitar and the drums too!"

"His drums are the most obnoxious things EVER." Kurt moans.

"Drums are awesome man, they're awesome."

"I think drums are cool!" Kurt shoots me a look.

"Blaine plays guitar, Finn."

"Awesome! We should totally play something later!"

"Sure." I smiled politely.

"Blaine dear, would you like any broccoli?" Carole cooed from her end of the table.

"No thank you ma'am, I'll stick with the pasta."

"Blaaaiiine...eat your vegetables."

"Fine, ok, I'll take a piece Carole."

"Is Kurt on to you about your food choices too kid?"

"Oh yessir, every day. He can't seem to accept my undying love for bread."

"And dessert..."

"Yes and dessert."

"Hah! He's been onto me now for years, he has literally called Carole everyday and quizzed her about what I ate that day."

Carole patted Kurt's arm, "I think it's sweet."

"I think it's insane," Finn stuck his fork at Kurt's face, "Kurt cleaned out like ALL the good food out of the house."

As the new family bantered on about food, I sat back and enjoyed the calming atmosphere.

This was a home.

I smiled softly as they challenged each other and laughed with each other, they worked together like gears in a watch. It was fascinating.

Then I heard my name and the word Christmas in one sentence, "So are you excited for Christmas break, Blaine?" How could Carole know that she was about to go into territory that could potentially ruin my night.

"Um, yeah, sure."

"You don't sound very excited," Burt eyed me from down the table.

"Well Christmas at our house is more like the kind of affair where you have to use five different forks at every meal."

"That's a lot of forks dude." Thank the lord for creating Finn, one could always count on him to break up awkward conversations.

"It's formal Finn, you wouldn't understand it." Kurt chided.

Burt was still looking at me from across the table and Carole was looking at Burt, I sunk down a tiny bit in my chair, trying to avoid their good meaning stares. I think Carole noticed my sudden lack of conversation because she switched the topic pretty quickly.

"Hey Finn, why don't you call your dear girlfriend and ask what time she is coming over, we can have some dessert when she gets here.

"She's not gonna eat it if it's not vegan, Mom."

"Well then she can sit and enjoy watching you eat it. Now go call her."

"Guess that means dinner's over," Burt stood up and began to carry some of the dishes over to the sink, swatting Carole's attempts to help away with a sponge.

"I can get it sir."

"Nah kid, you're the guest, go do something fun with the boys."

"It's good, really, I'll get it. You can go watch the game that I know is on."

"You like football son?"

"Yessir, I do."

"What's your favorite team?"

"The Buckeyes, I'm a college football fan."

"Ah, OSU, good team."

"I'll help Blaine with the dishes Dad, go relax."

"Stop worrying about me bud, some dish washing isn't gonna ruin me."

"Go relax Dad."

"Fine, fine..."

"Sooo what do you think of my crazy family."

"They're wonderful." Oh you have no idea how much I want this Kurt, no idea.

"Ah, they're alright."

"Well they seem to care about you a lot."

"Yeah, they do."

"I think it's great that you all get along so well even after just a short time."

"Well it can be kinda weird sometimes, but I don't it's really the fact that my family just suddenly doubled that bothers me. It's that it doubled and I'm not even around."

I didn't really know what to say to that, at all, so I just let out a quiet hum and continued scrubbing abstract patterns of sudsy bubbles onto plates.

We were standing side by side at the kitchen sink, Kurt with a hand towel, and me with my blazer sleeves rolled up, arms immersed in water. The light from the kitchen reflected off the small window over the sink, reflecting our faces instead of revealing the quiet world outside.

It felt so achingly normal.

"I like your house."

Oh, I did not mean to say that out loud.

"Thanks."

As we finished the last dish I could feel Kurt side eyeing me, he bit his lip and then turned towards me, "Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"You're welcome here, anytime."

I couldn't really meet his eyes, "thanks."

He moved directly into my line of sight, forcing me to look into his serious opalescent eyes, "I mean it Blaine. Anytime."

I just nodded and whispered a quiet, "Thank you."

We stayed silent, lost in our own thoughts until we heard Finn sprint to the door and jar it open like a rifle shot, "Rachel's here!" He boomed out, unnecessarily loud.

"Oh god..." Kurt slumped against the counter.

I prodded his arm gently, "Should we at least go say hi?"

"Yeah, we probably should."

Together we made our way into the living room, the Rachel girl (seeing as she was the only girl in the room it was safe to assume that it was her), spun around, "Oh, it's the traitor boy, how could-Oh My God! You're Blaine Anderson! From the Warbler's? You sang a solo at Regionals last year. We didn't compete against each other but I make it my goal to keep close track of every remotely good glee club in the region. You probably already know who I am."

Wow, ok, that was an overwhelming and slightly creepy introduction. Rachel was like a foot shorter than me, which is saying something, and looked like a molecule of toddler and another of grandma had been smashed together in a fusion to create this insane thing called Rachel Berry. I could already tell that her visit was going to make it a long evening.

"Um, hi, yes I'm Blaine. You must be Rachel."

"So you HAVE seen me perform! Was I good? No that's ridiculous to ask, I am always PERFECT, and of course you liked it."

"I told you she was insane," Kurt murmured into my war. I didn't even know how to talk to her, like she was still talking now, ok I'm just gonna go with the smile and nod. Oh it seems to be working, that's good. Wow she is really close to my face, this girl has waaay to much energy. She is seriously starting to freak me out. Is she still talking about herself? Oh, yes, yes she is.

Wow.

"Hey mom? Rachel's here! Can we have dessert?"

"Sure, you all can just have it in there, Burt and I are going to hide out in our room, watch the game and stuff."

"You're going to watch the game?" Kurt shot Carole a quizzical look.

"Shh," Carole pointed at Rachel and then made ridiculous eyes. She sat down a plate of exceedingly enticing brownies and scurried away.

"I almost wish I could go join them, which is saying something because I would never otherwise go anywhere near a football game, even on TV."

"Oh my god! Those aren't vegan are they! Finn, you know I can't eat that!" And look at that, she was off ranting again.

"Boy is she endearing." I whispered over at Kurt, my face running with sarcasm. I handed him the dessert plate, "Want a brownie?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh live a little Kurt. I ate some broccoli you can please me by eating a brownie."

"You ate A piece of broccoli Blaine, ONE."

"Well then you can have ONE brownie." I picked one up off the plate and stuck it in his hand, suddenly feeling very much like Wes.

"Hey dude! Wanna come over here and share those?" I knew Finn was a nice guy, but he was also huge, and that generally freaked me out. I guess I was just going to have to get used to him like I got used to Carver though, I mean they were practically clones of each other.

I scooted over to the couch a bit warily, "Thanks man," Finn gurgled out as he stuffed his face with brownies. He and I spent about the next ten minutes nodding and pretending to listen to Rachel while we ate the whole plate of tepid brownies.

It was actually kind of awesome.

"I can't believe I am actually here with two enemies! I mean what if you were secretly spying or something." I chuckled thinking about Kurt and how half of the guys still called him The Spy.

"You think that's funny? Show choir isn't funny Blaine Warbler, it is serious, do you here? Now tell me your set list."

"Um, no thank you."

"Well if I'm going to sit with enemies I might as well get some kind of reward."

"Were aren't actually 'enemies' Rachel" Kurt pointed out, "I was in glee with you for like a year and a half."

"I don't care! You a freaking traitor Kurt! How can I trust you after you abandoned our club to go join the enemy?"

"Hey Rachel, cool off my brother ok?" Wow, I just earned like a thousand new points of respect for Finn.

"No! He just ran out of McKinley! We all get bullied, how come he gets to abandon glee?"

"It's not like you actually cared about me when I was there..."

"But you were a part of the club! You can't just quit and switch sides! That's treason!"

"I was receiving death threats Rachel!"

"So? You can't just quit!"

"So? SO?! You would put glee over my LIFE? God Rachel! I want to slap you so bad by now!" By this pint Kurt was standing up rigid, his voice about five octaves higher than usual.

"Rachel seriously cool off Kurt."

"No I won't!"

Ok, I don't give a freak wether or not this is my house and that this is Finn's girlfriend or that what I am about to do goes against all rules of acceptable social conduct.

No one gets to talk to Kurt like that.

I puffed out a breath and stood up, "Rachel? I don't like what you are saying. I don't like the way you're saying it. And to be honest? I don't really like you at all right now. Don't you dare EVER speak to Kurt like that again. Do you understand? Not ever. Now I think it would be best if you left."

"Excuse me?"

"I think it's best if you left."

"Finn?"

"Rachel I think we need to talk, but not now ok? I'll text you a time ok?"

"Are you breaking up with me Finn Hudson?!"

"I don't know, "As he got up off the couch I heard him add under his breath, "But I think I'm leaning that way."

Finn escorted Rachel out of the door, I sat down heavily, completely drained. Never in my life had I done anything that rash. Ever.

I looked over at Kurt who was still standing, instead of looking upset though he was gaping at me like I was some kind of lustrous green alien.

"Oh my god."

Finn came back into the room with his shoulders drooping, hands stuffed down into his pockets.

I couldn't stand it any longer, "Look I'm sorry, I know that it wasn't my place at all. Especially because this is your house-"

"Blaine shut up. Just...shut up. That was...amazing. I have never seen you mad like ever, not even slightly aggravated, so yeah it was surprising. But just-stop talking-you were amazing."

"Seriously dude, that was cool of you."

"I really am sorry that it didn't work out between you and Rachel Finn, I never have liked her, but I liked seeing you happy."

"Yeah, it sucks. Like I knew she was mad about all this and stuff, she kept dropping little comments, but she has never gone off like this..."

"I'm so sorry..."

"Wait, what? Dude, no, you're my bro, that is like way more important. Stop saying your sorry ok?"

"Ok...you know I really am glad that Dad didn't hear that, if he did I think we would be calling the police over Rachel's dead body..."

"Dude me too, you have no idea...so we're all cool right?"

"Yeah."

Finn turned to look at me, "Of course."

"Alright then, lets stop moping around and do something...oh! How about a guitar-off between Blaine and me!"

"I get to judge!" Kurt jumped up. I am pretty sure neither of us were going to be truly letting the old topic drop, but it was a huge relief to have a distraction. Finn has no idea how much he helps.

Finn flew upstairs with a clattering of shoes and returned like two seconds later with a really nice looking acoustic guitar, "Ok, since it was my idea, I get to go first. You ready for this, private school boy?"

"Bring it."

"Alright!" He ended up playing some kind of cover of Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line", it was freaking awesome. This guy has a VOICE, like he seriously needs to get over himself and join glee club. Like now.

I mention this to him and he just tells me to shut up and play, so I do. I play "Hey there Delilah" by the White Stripes because it reminds me of Kurt. Of how someday he's gonna be in New York and I am going to be here working my heart out to try and join him. I think Kurt gets my message because my the end of the song he is giggling breathlessly, which I find way too endearing, and blushing pink fire. We play around like this for quite awhile, losing ourselves in the chords and words and acoustics. Finn pretty much sticks to playing classic rock while I go on the path of top-40 covers and the occasional indie pop. With Kurt being our judge, Finn doesn't win a lot of rounds (he actually only wins two with "Don't Stop Believin'" because Kurt has always secretly liked that song and then again with his rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" just because he made Kurt almost cry laughing) I however earn a little smile every time I play to him, play for him.

I sing him everything I can think of, half the time I barely even know the lyrics or the tune, so I just sit there and play and make a fool out of myself, but here in this home, no one cares. I sing him my usuals and when he asks for broadway I sing him a sweet love song, and when he asks for a ballad I do my best to find the cheesiest one. And I think he is starting to realize that I truly mean the lyrics.

At the end of one of Finn's songs, Burt appears in the doorway, "So you gonna stay the night Blaine?"

"Oh no sir, I'll drive back to Dalton."

"Kid it's alreadyten o'clock, with snow out you won't be getting to Westerville until around one in the morning."

"Oh! I didn't realize it had gotten that late! I'm sorry, I'll leave now."

"Kid, there is no way I am letting you drive all the way back to Dalton in the snow at midnight."

"I'll be fine."

"No, you're going to stay here. Kurt can give you something to wear and we can set up the air mattress somewhere."

"I couldn't possibly impose, I have already stayed way past what is appropriate."

"No arguing, you're staying here ok? I'll go get the mattress and set it up in Kurt's room...wait...ok I want the truth. Are you two dating or anything? Because if you are, there is no way you two are sleeping in the same room."

"No we aren't-"

"No, Dad, no-"

"Just friends Mr. Hummel." Though I wouldn't mind being more...

"Alright, just making sure...don't decide to suddenly start dating tonight though ok?"

"DAD!"

"Ok, ok I'll just go set up the bed." He put his hands up and proceeded to make his way up the stairs.

"Finn began putting up the guitar, "Dude, you are like a rockstar, it's freaking awesome." He patted me on the head (holy freak he was tall!).

"You're not to bad yourself," I chuckled.

His face turned as serious as I ever expected Finn's to be, "Look, sorry about Rachel." We just nodded, and he made his way up to his room.

"So I guess I'm staying here tonight..."

"Yup, you are."

"I really didn't mean to stay this long..."

"Well now we just get to hang out all of tomorrow too, stop worrying about it Blaine. We are all glad to have you."

"...okay."

"Come on, Dad's probably almost done with the mattress, I'll get you some pajamas."

We passed Burt right before we entered the abode of Kurt Hummel, "Alright, everything is set up. Don't stay up too late and don't do anything stupid."

"We'll try not to Dad."

"Alright, I love you bud, goodnight." Ooh, wow, I think I just about burst with jealousy (not the mean kind, I just wanted someone to tell me that so bad that it HURT."

Kurt gave him a tight hug, "Night, Dad."

"Goodnight Blaine, it was nice to see you."

"Thank you sir, it was nice of you to have me over."

"Of course, goodnight boys."

And then I entered the true world of Kurt Hummel.

It was life had been taken and squeezed out into the room. A bulletin board held every kind of broadway poster and about five cover pages of the latest Vogue magazines. His bed was layered in shades of mauve, maroon, and dairy cream, all fluffy pillows and tumbling comforters. The carpet was thick around my feet (which had long since been bare), curtains framed the windows, distorting the light through the thin colored silk.

"So, yeah-um, this is my room." He waved his arms around.

"It's great, I love it."

"Thanks! Now let's find something for you to wear," he started shuffling through numerous drawers on his deep stained dresser until he finally pulled out a neatly folded blue t-shirt and a pain of dark plaid pants. "Ok so the bathroom is right through there, you can change and then get settled in. There should be an extra toothbrush and stuff.

I took my clothes and put them on carefully, reveling in the feeling that they were KURT'S and I was wearing them. Yes the shirt was a tad bit too long along with the pants that I continued to step on with the backs of my heels, but they were soft, and smelled like the sweet vanilla flowers of Kurt's bedroom.

Kurt had already changed when I went back in, long sleeves, dark green pants, and a cute pair of shag slippers, "Do the pajamas work?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Welcome, I'm going to go do my nightly moisturizing routine, and then we can get to bed. Sound good?"

"Sure."

"Ok, you are welcome to anything over there while you wait," he gestured over to his statuesque bookshelf. I ended up just scouring over the titles, seeing what he enjoyed reading, and to see if I myself had read anything. I came across a book that mentioned something about courage in it's summary, and I suddenly felt quite brilliant. Taking a purple marker and a loose sticky note that I found on Kurt's dresser, I got to work. I traced out the letters and painted on little swirls and tiny decorum until the sticky note was bursting with purple lines and I stuck it straight in the middle of Kurt's cork board. When Kurt finally finished his nightly routine, he immediately notice the note, smiling softly at it, but not mentioning it in itself. Because those were the kinds of people we were.

While Burt had told us not to stay up late, we were essentially having a sleepover, we were going to talk, it was inevitable. We first started out with usual sleepover topics: romance and celebrity crushes (Kurt like Ryan Gosling whereas I fought for Orlando Bloom as he was in "Lord of the Rings", we decided to agree to disagree on that) but eventually when we both quieted down, we knew that there was still a large topic that needed to be discussed.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"You're still upset about Rachel aren't you?" When he didn't say anything I added, "It's ok if you are, I would be."

I heard a sigh before he started to speak, "It's just the fact that she takes my life so lightly. I could die and as long as she won Nationals she wouldn't give a freak."

"Was she that...I don't l know...egotistical, when you were at McKinley."

"Well she was still self-centered, but at that point at least we were all generally on the same level. She didn't care about me at all though, not until I left for Dalton, and now it's like, without me, she thinks glee club is going to fail."

"Well you do sing Adele like a god." He snorted out a thanks, "Do you miss McKinley at all?"

"I guess I do miss a couple of the other glee kids. They were all generally good people, they were just too scared of getting bullied more to actually stand up for me or be my true friend."

"Do you, um, do you think you will ever go back?" My voice sounded pitifully small.

"Blaine, when I was at McKinley, I didn't last a single day without absolutely dreading school. At Dalton though, I don't think I have dreaded anything at all."

"Good." I whispered.

We were silent again for awhile but then I heard Kurt's bed squeak and saw his silhouette sit up in the dark, "Blaine?"

"Mmh hmm."

"Please don't like hate your friends forever or anything but I just thought that it would be unfair not to tell you..."

"...what?"

"That-that um, I um, I know about your panic attacks." He rushed out the last part, sounding almost frantic.

I was not prepared for that. At all.

"I-I overheard some of the guys saying they were worried about you, and I was worried too because I knew that Wes was practically having to feed you himself, but I didn't know why. So later I cornered Wes and Trent in the hallway and made them tell me what was going on. They were pretty vague about the reasons behind everything, actually they didn't really say much at all except that you have nightmares and panic attacks and that the cold makes it better." Kurt was stumbling over his words now, he sounded almost scared, scared about what I was going to say.

He didn't really have to worry though, it was almost a relief that he didn't have to find out by catching me in one of those terrible panics.

"I want to help Blaine, I don't know what to do, but I want to help."

"You already do."

"How?"

"Just-just by being around..."

"Look Blaine, I'm always going to be here if you need anything ok? I really want to know the reasons behind everything that's going on. We pretty much are all in agreement that there is something more. Obviously the guys know a lot more than I do, but it isn't there right to tell me. When you are ready to talk it should be on your own terms, not ours."

"Ok."

"I'm alway here though, if you need me."

"I know. Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"It'll be fine, I promise."

"You always say that..."

"I do."

Neither of us really felt the need to end the conversation before we drifted off to sleep, because in the backs of our minds we both knew that this wasn't truly over. As I drifted off into a world of thoughts and dreams I heard Kurt's light voice reach out in the dark towards me. I guess he thought I was asleep, I don't think he would have said it if he knew I was awake, he may have wanted me to know, but I don't think he would have said it.

"Courage, Blaine."


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