The next morning, Blaine wakes up with a headache and a heavy heart. The night before comes back to the front of his mind instantly, and he sighs, not knowing what he's going to do with this whole situation. After kissing Kurt and leaving the man, he had realized that he couldn't let Kurt go back home alone this late in the evening, and he couldn't leave without properly explaining what he was thinking to Kurt, so he went back inside to look for him. However when he arrived in Rachel's loft, he couldn't find the man anywhere and figured Kurt must have already went back home somehow.

He hasn't seen Kurt since last night, and although he knows he owes the man an explanation, it isn't a conversation he's looking forward to having. He hates that he has to push Kurt away, but he can't risk it. What if they date for a while and break up and Kurt decides he doesn't want to see Emily anymore? It would break the little girl's heart and Blaine can't do that to her, she's lost too many people. At the thought of the little girl, Blaine sits up on his bed and turns towards her cot. The little girl is sleeping soundly, and Blaine is surprised to see it's already 10.30 in the morning. Emily is usually up way before that time, but seeing as she looks okay, Blaine doesn't worry. Maybe she just stayed up later than she usually does with her uncle Isaac last night.

Blaine uses the time Emily is still sleeping to get some clothes and go and take a quick shower. He doesn't really feel like getting dressed and doing anything today, but with Emily in the picture, he doesn't really have a choice. When you have a one year old daughter, you can't really spend your day moping around.

Emily finally wakes up around 11, and she lets out a huge smile and lifts her arms towards him as soon as she sees Blaine. Blaine had missed her last night, even before everything happens, and it warms his heart thinking that maybe Emily had missed him as well.

“At least someone will have been happy to see me today. I missed you baby girl! I hope you had fun with Uncle Isaac, because you're going to be stuck with me for a while now.”

Blaine can't imagine Kurt's reaction when he'll finally come face to face with Blaine, and he knows that Isaac won't be too happy with him either when he learns of what's happened yesterday, so it's nice to know at least one person in this apartment likes him, even if it is his 1 year old daughter. Blaine quickly dresses Emily after changing her nappy, and they make their way out of the bedroom to go about with their day. Blaine listens carefully when he exits the bedroom, to see if anyone else is in the apartment, but he can't hear a sound and he's ashamed to say he's kind of relieved by the fact for the moment. He starts making Emily her lunch, a fancy carrot and pea dish that Kurt had prepared the day before, which reminds Blaine once again of the importance of Kurt's presence in Emily's life, and they eat together with Emily babbling non-sense in between her mouthfuls.

Halfway through the meal, Isaac enters the apartment with a huge smile on his face, and exclaims:

“So, how was it last night?! I wanted to wait for you guys to come back before I went to sleep, but I got bored and you guys took ages, it must have been some evening uh!” he says, with suggestive eyebrows.

“You have no idea…” Blaine says gloomily. He knows what Isaac is referring to, and the fact that the evening could have turned out the way Isaac is suggesting, but in fact turned out to be the complete opposite saddens Blaine even more.

“If it was such a good evening, why are you so broody B?” asks Isaac sitting down at the table, starting to look a little concerned.

Blaine thinks about denying it and pretending it was a great evening, but he just can't bring himself to lie to Isaac. He knows Isaac isn't going to be happy with him, but he'll probably learn the truth anyway, and Blaine could use an ear to talk to right now. So Blaine starts telling Isaac the entire story, how the evening went from good, to perfect, to a complete disaster in the span of an hour or so. As he tells the story, he can see Isaac's face getting darker and darker, though he doesn't look angry, just sad.

“So you just left him there without explaining anything?” Isaac asks once Blaine is done, a little scandalized.

“On the moment, I was just thinking that I needed to get out of there before I started making out with Kurt again and making the biggest mistake of my life. I did try to go back and look for him after a while, but I didn't see him anyway and I figured he had just left…”

Seeing as Kurt isn't home right now, Blaine can only imagine where Kurt went. Sure it might be a friend's house, but it could also be one of the guys that had been eyeing Kurt all night…. However, Blaine is the one that took the decision to cut short on what they were doing, so he can't blame Kurt, no matter where the man went. It will hurt if Kurt starts bringing back different men to the apartment once again, Blaine can't deny that, but he can't fault him for it and it might help them both move on.

“What if it wasn't a mistake Blaine? What if it was the best thing that had happened to you, and you just walked away? What if leaving was the mistake?” Isaac asks, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts.

“Ise… you don't understand. I can't risk it, for Em…”Blaine starts to explain.

“Oh no I understand just fine Blaine. I understand that you're scared. And because you're scared, you left a man that already has more abandonment issues that you could ever imagine, and just ran away without an explanation.”

“Abandonment issues?” repeats Blaine confused

“That's not what's important right now!” yells Isaac, starting to get a little worked up. “You just left, and won't even give it a try!”

“Because I love him okay?!” Yells Blaine, hating that Isaac just doesn't understand what's at stake here. “I love him, and I can't afford to lose him. Not just for Emily, who if things turned to the worse between Kurt and I, would love something close to another father, you said so yourself yesterday. But for me as well, I can't lose him because it would hurt too much. I'd rather have him as a friend and keep him around for a long time, than have perfect weeks or months being with him, and then losing him when it ends!”

“But what if it doesn't end?” asks Isaac, softening up now that he can see how upset Blaine is with all of this. “Is the situation you're describing so much worse than the situation you're in now? And you keep getting stuck on all the negative outcomes. But what about the possibilities? How about if you get together, and live happily ever after, and provide Emily with the family she deserves.”

“Life isn't a fairy tale Ise” says Blaine sadly. “I know we could be great, and we could end up not falling apart, but those are small odds in comparison to all the other options. I just don't think I can't put either Emily or myself through this.”

Blaine is looking at his hands, his throat heavy and not able to look Isaac in the eyes at the risk of letting all of his emotions out and breaking into tears. Even Emily is quieter, as if she was able to sense the mood somehow, and acclimated to the changes.

“Okay” Isaac says finally. “I won't bother you with this anymore, but just think about it okay? It could turn out great, and you might be throwing away something that has the possibility of being amazing for all three of you, just out of fear. And I'm not saying that's unreasonable, I understand where you're coming from. But I've seen you and Kurt. You're already acting like a couple most of the time. This wouldn't just be a fling B. You're so in sync with each other already, and you're both so happy when you're spending time together, I hadn't seen either of you this happy in a while. And you both love Emily to death, so please, just think about it.” He says before exiting the living room and going into his bedroom after squeezing Blaine's shoulder gently.

Blaine sits there in the middle of the living room for a while, meals long gone, but still not moving for the moment. He sits there until Emily starts fussing again, and then he's brought back to the present moment. He gets up and picks up Emily, hugging her and kissing her forehead. When he does, he feels the warmth there and he can't help but be a little worried.

“You're all hot baby girl, what's up? Are you not feeling okay?” Blaine asks worriedly. Emily doesn't answer of course, and she just snuggles her face in his neck, her eyes drooping.

“You can't be tired already… You just woke up an hour ago.” Blaine says, talking to himself rather than talking to Emily.

Emily being tired again so soon is a little strange, and Blaine worries she might be getting sick. He thinks about calling Tina to see what he should do, but he doesn't want to worry her about nothing. After all, the little girl might just be tired, and Blaine doesn't know what she and Isaac were up to last night. Deciding that he won't worry for the moment, Blaine carries the sleepy little girl into the bedroom again, and puts her in her cot. Not even 2 minutes after her head touches her mattress, Emily is already sound asleep. She must have been a lot more tired that he figured. Blaine walks out of the room quietly, deciding to let Emily nap, even if it is early for nap time. If the little girl is tired, then he's just going to let her rest.

Blaine pulls out a book he has to read for class and hasn't even started yet, and decides that while Emily is still sleeping, he's going to use the time to get a heart start on his reading. He manages to read peacefully for about an hour, before the sound of a key in the lock jolts him out of his reading, and his shoulders tense, knowing who it has to be. Isaac had left about 20 minutes ago telling Blaine he wouldn't be back before tonight, so Blaine knows Kurt's going to be the one to enter the apartment, and he knows he owes the man an explanation.

When Kurt finally gets the door opened and enters, he stops net in his tracks when he sees Blaine sitting on the couch. He looks at him for about 2 seconds, but quickly averts his eyes, not making eye contact with Blaine.

“Hi” Blaine says uncertainly, not knowing how mad Kurt is going to be. When Kurt just nods in answer and starts making his way towards his bedroom instantly, Blaine decides that it's time they had a talk.

“Can we talk?” he asks Kurt, and Kurt stops walking, before turning towards Blaine a hard look on his face.

“Oh now you want to talk, don't you?” he asks, voice a little mean and because Blaine knows him well now, he can recognize that his voice is a little hurt too. Blaine hates himself for hurting Kurt, but despite his conversation with Isaac this morning, he stills believes it's for the best in the long run. Kurt and him will be able to work this out and stay friends, and that way, Blaine is sure Kurt will stay in his and Emily's life for a long time.

“I'm sorry Kurt.” Blaine says, voice resigned. “I shouldn't have left like that, without explaining anything. It was wrong.” He thinks about telling Kurt that he did go back inside to look for him, but he doesn't think it would be welcome right now. And truthfully, he also doesn't really want to know where Kurt was when he couldn't find him. Ignorance is bliss after all.

“You're right, you shouldn't have.” Kurt just says, angry, starting to walk back towards his bedroom. Before he has the chance to reach it however, Blaine pops up from the couch and walks quickly towards him, keeping him from moving forward by grabbing Kurt's arm. Before the man starts to protest, Blaine decides it's time to come clean.

“Please just let me explain? And then I'll leave you alone if you want me to. I just need you to listen to me for 10 minutes while I explain where I was coming from. I promise I wasn't out to hurt you, and I just want you to understand why I acted the way I did.” Blaine pleads.

Hearing this words and Blaine's tone, Kurt pulls his arm out of Blaine's grip, but he doesn't walk into his bedroom. Instead, he backtracks and goes to sit down on one of the chairs in the living room in front of the couch, still not looking Blaine in the eyes. Still, it's a start, Blaine decides and he just sits on the couch in front of Kurt.

“Look, I'm sorry…” Blaine starts saying.

“You've said that already” Kurt cuts him off. Blaine sighs, Kurt is not going to make that an easy conversation. Blaine knows all of his defense mechanisms, and he can see them all at play right now. He feels a little annoyed, but when he remembers why Kurt's defense mechanisms are up, he remembers that it's mainly his fault and that's why he has to explain and be patient with Kurt.

“Right, I know. Just, let me talk, please?” Blaine asks, and waits until Kurt nods to keep going. “I shouldn't have kissed you.”

Blaine can see the way this single sentence brings out the hurt look on Kurt's face even more before the man manages to hide it, but he decides to keep going, hoping it will make things better.

“It's not that I didn't want to, trust me, I really did. I've been wanting to for a while, and the kiss was perfect, more than I could have hoped for.”

“What are you saying then Blaine?” asks Kurt, face impassible and even voiced.

“I'm saying that I like you” understatement of the year, Blaine thinks. But still, he keeps going. “I'm saying that you're one of my closest friends now, and part of Emily's family, and I can't risk her losing that. I really like you, and if it was just me, then I would be willing to try, but it's not just me anymore, and Emily can't lose you. I can't put myself in a position where Emily would risk losing another person. If we were to try being together, and it ended up not working out, the not only would I lose one of my friends, but Emily would lose one of her family members, and I just can't have that. I just can't risk it.”

By the time Blaine is done with this whole speech, he's almost out of breath, and he's praying Kurt will understand. Saying all of this took a lot out of Blaine, and he hopes it will be enough to salvage their friendship. He hopes when Kurt finally looks up, he won't have this angry look clouding his face anymore.

However when Kurt looked up towards Blaine, the look on his face is even worse. He doesn't look angry anymore, he looks hurt and resigned. Like he's used to feeling this way, almost like he feels it's expected and he deserves it. Blaine opens his mouth to say something, anything that will make the hurt look go away. Before he has the time however, Kurt starts speaking:

“You don't think very highly of me don't you?” he asks, with a cold voice that is trying to mask his pain. Blaine is so surprised by the question, that he doesn't have time to ask what Kurt means by that before the man is talking again.

“I should have expected it. You think so low of me that you think if something was to happen, I would just what, up and walk away from an innocent little girl that has already lost so much?” Kurt says, voice getting louder and louder. “You think I'm so selfish that I would put my well being in front of hers, and I would just stop seeing her because things had ended badly with you? How much of an asshole do you think I am anyway?! And if that's what you really think of me, why would you even be interested in being friends with someone like that, hell, in being with someone like that period!”

Blaine doesn't know what to say. He never expected Kurt to take the news that way. It doesn't have anything to do with him or what Blaine thinks of him. In fact, Blaine thinks he's wonderful, and perfect, and that's why he can't stand to lose him. However, before he has the time to say any of that, Kurt just keeps going, not being done with everything he has to say.

“We've barely had our first kiss, which was interrupted by you pushing me away and running away basically, that you've already played up our entire relationship in your head, and have already imagined the ending. You didn't even give me a chance, you just decided that we weren't even worth a chance, and that of course I would just disappoint you in the end and I would leave you and Emily behind. You didn't even think for a second that maybe it wouldn't end, did you?! That maybe we could have been good with each other, for each other. And even if we did end, you didn't think I would stick around did you? I would just leave, not caring about Emily, and about her losing someone else! Well you know what? Fuck you Blaine. I love this little girl as well, I've been there for her as well from the beginning, and I can't believe you think so little of me that you think I would leave her behind that I would leave you behind!”

“Kurt… That's not what I meant; it's just the risk of….”

“Forget it Blaine” Kurt replies and he looks so defeated, so resigned. His voice contains so much self-hatred that Blaine can barely stand hearing it. “You're right anyway. I'm never worth fighting for, and I'm not worth the risk. That's what my father thought, that's what 99% of the people in the orphanage thought, and that's what you apparently think. I shouldn't even be surprised anymore; I should be used to it”.

And with these words, Kurt left the apartment, leaving a dumb struck Blaine behind him. Blaine doesn't move for a while, still too surprised and upset to think about doing anything. He can't believe that's what Kurt thinks. He can't believe that's what he made Kurt think. Blaine can't believe he's been such an inconsiderate asshole, and that he made Kurt feel like he wasn't worth it. He's worth anything, the only thought holding Blaine back is the thought of losing the man himself, and that's what scared Blaine, and made him react that way.

But of course, Kurt was right. Blaine just assumed that if things were to turn badly, Kurt would just leave them behind, but that's not who he is. Kurt's stuck around since the beginning, when he didn't have to. Emily isn't his niece, it wasn't his problem, and yet he decided to stick around and help Blaine provide the best home possible. He's watched Emily so many times, and has played with her and loved her and Blaine just through all of this back in his face. Blaine just erased all of that, out of fear, and made Kurt feel like he wasn't grateful for everything Kurt had done. Of course Kurt wouldn't just leave, he loved Emily to death and no matter what had happened between him and Blaine, and he would have been there for her, always.

Except now, Blaine has gone and made him so angry, that he had to leave the apartment. That Kurt couldn't even stand being in the same space as him. He had made Kurt think so little of himself, that he thought he wasn't worth taking risk for, that he wasn't worth loving. Guilt started creeping up Blaine's chest, and the man felt so sad. He felt sad for himself, because he might just have lost Kurt forever, just because of his own stupidity. And he felt sad for Kurt, because after everything he must have gone through, Kurt thought he wasn't worth anything, and Blaine had just involuntarily comforted him in his idea.

After just standing there for a while, Blaine decided that he would do everything is his power to fix this. He loved Kurt, and he couldn't let the man believe otherwise. He would apologize until he didn't have any voice left, he would do anything to make Kurt see how much he was worth the risk, how much he was worth it, how much Blaine loved him.

With this thought, Blaine decided to go and wake Emily up, seeing as the little girl had been sleeping for more than an hour and a half and Blaine could use one of her hugs right now. He opened her door room slowly, and walked up to her bed.

“Emily, it's time to wake up baby girl. If you sleep any longer, there is no way you're going to sleep tonight” he said, but Emily didn't steer. Thinking she was just in a heavy sleep, Blaine started to shake her gently to wake her up, but Emily still didn't move. Blaine could feel her breathing and see her tummy moving, but Emily wouldn't open her eyes. Blaine felt her forehead and started to panic feeling her temperature. The little girl was so warm to the touch. Blaine scrambled to get his phone, and instantly dialed 911, begging for Emily to be okay, for the little girl to just wake up.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“It's my daughter, she won't wake up! I can't get her to wake up! She just won't move. Please, do something, please!” Blaine sobbed on the phone, feeling helpless and desperate.