Nov. 19, 2011, 9:43 a.m.
Send Me An Angel: Chapter 25
T - Words: 3,098 - Last Updated: Nov 19, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Jul 28, 2011 - Updated: Nov 19, 2011 1,161 0 1 0 0
It scared Burt to see his son his way. He tried to talk him into explaining why he was acting like that, but Kurt said nothing. Burt tried almost everything with no success, until he mentioned Blaine's name. Even if it was just for a second, Burt could see a small glimmer in Kurt's eyes, just before he went on denying everything.
It was like that night happened all again for Kurt. He was a living zombie, and Burt feared there was nothing he could do about it. That was, until he realized there was one solution. Seeing as Kurt continued to screen all Blaine's calls and messages, and even hid when he showed up at the shop or home, Burt figured he'd have to blindside his son. Using the tickets Blaine had given them, Burt rushed his family (except for Kurt) out the door for Six Flags. He called up Blaine beforehand, make sure he was off from work. When he told him the plan, Blaine was hesitant, but Burt convinced him after telling him about Kurt's condition.
When Blaine showed up at his house, he used the key Burt had given him to get into the house. He felt like a creepy stalker, practically breaking into his friend's house, but he had to do it. Running his hands through his hair, and smoothening his shirt, Blaine stood straight before knocking on Kurt's door.
A moment passed, and the door suddenly opened. Kurt's expression broke at the sight of Blaine, and Blaine momentarily pondered if this was a horrible idea.
"W-what are you doing here?" Kurt demanded softly.
"Can I come in?" Blaine asked.
"How did you get in my house?" Kurt questioned, and Blaine could see the panic his eyes.
"Your dad gave me this key." Blaine explained quickly. "May I please come in?"
"No." Kurt answered. "I'm sorry, Blaine, but I can't-"
"Please, Kurt, we need to talk." Blaine stated, cutting him off before he could shut the door on him.
"Blaine," Kurt sighed.
"Please? Kurt, if any ounce of our friendship still remains, let me in."
Blaine waited a long moment for Kurt to give his answer. After that statement, if Kurt didn't let him in, Blaine was sure they would be finished for good. Sighing, Kurt stepped aside, allowing Blaine to come in.
"What do you want?" Kurt asked, closing the door behind him.
"To know what's up." Blaine answered. "Why have you been avoiding me again? We're friends, aren't we?"
"Yes, we're friends. And I haven't been avoiding you. I've been busy."
"Don't give me that. I spoke to your dad. He said you closed everyone out; me, Finn, Rachel, even him. He said you go to work and then lock yourself up in your room. You barely even speak anymore. What's going on?"
"It's . . . it's nothing."
"No, Kurt. It's not nothing. Having a little drama fit, that's nothing. Totally blocking out your friends and family, that's big."
"Look, it doesn't concern you!"
"Yes, it does! Kurt, I care about you. You're like my best friend, seeing you like this . . . it hurts!"
Kurt was silent, not even bothering to look at Blaine. Sighing, Blaine asked the one question that's been on his mind since the beginning.
"Is it because of me?" Kurt said nothing. "Are you acting this way, because I kissed you?" Again, silence. "Kurt . . . I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen. I obviously didn't think you'd react like this. Look, we can act like it never happened. We'll just go back to being friends, hanging out and talking. I shouldn't . . . I shouldn't have done that."
Kurt looked to the ground, shaking his head. Blaine stepped forward, reaching for him, but Kurt jerked back.
"Kurt. . . . Please, I'm so sorry. I just . . . I like you, okay? I really do and I'm sure it must be weird, since we're friends and all, but I just feel something when I'm with you. Something I've never felt before. And it's good. It's a really, really good feeling. And I don't know if you feel it too. You obviously don't, since you're acting like I'm about to hit you every time I step closer. I just . . . I promise! I won't do anything. We can be friends, and I won't let it get weird. Just please, don't shut me out."
"Blaine I . . . I can't."
"Can't what? Please, Kurt, I'm sorry I fell for you, but don't let it ruin our friendship. I promise never to kiss you again or touch you, or even look at you in an intimate way. Just, don't close me out. You're probably the only person I can relate to and actually talk to. If I lose you, I might as well just go back to New York and stay there."
"Who said that was a bad thing?" Kurt joked, his voice cracking. "Ohio isn't exactly star central."
Taking a deep breath, Kurt sighed heavily. Blaine could see the twinkle of tears in his eyes, but said nothing. Finally, Kurt spoke, and his words nearly pushed Blaine over the edge.
"I wanna be with you, Blaine."
"What?" Blaine asked, pondering if he heard him right.
"I like you. I tried to force myself not to, but it didn't work. I feel what you feel, and it scares me."
Blaine stepped closer, his voice almost a whisper. "It scares me too. But, it's okay. We can do it together, ya know? Go slow."
Kurt shook his head closer, small droplets of tears began to fall down his cheeks. "No." He murmured. "I can't, Blaine. You don't understand. I can't like you."
"Why not?"
"Everyone I care about gets hurt." Kurt said. Blaine cocked his head to the side. Kurt just wasn't making any sense.
"What do you mean? How can they get hurt?"
Kurt sniffed, doing his best to stand straight. "You know how I don't talk about my high school years? Or how when Rachel or Finn brings something up, I won't say a word? There's a reason for that. I wasn't always so queit and mean. I used to talk, and laugh, and have fun. My life almost seemed like a fairytale, only backwards."
"Will you tell me it?" Blaine asked softly.
Kurt nodded slowly. They sat on the edge of his bed. Blaine turned towards Kurt, who sat looking straight. Clearing his throat, he started talking.
"I was popular, you know? I mean, when school first started out, anyone associated with Glee club was pretty much banished into Loserville, but we stuck in there. We performed and soon enough, people started to love us."
Blaine smiled softly. "You were in Glee club?"
Kurt nodded. "Rachel and Finn were the leads, but I was an important asset. I was wanted, if not needed. It was a great feeling. Ooh my senior year . . . I had everything! Glee club was practically on top of the popularity charts; we were shoo-ins for the title; I had amazing friends; and an even more amazing boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" Blaine mimicked slowly, shocked by the word.
Again, Kurt nodded in response. "Dave and I, we were a strange couple. He was tall and meaty. He played for the football team and a lot of people were scared of him. I was the Glee clubs countertenor and was practically skin and bone. Even Finn was shocked when we started dating, we looked very odd, after all. But we were happy. He was out and proud, and I couldn't ask for anything better for a boyfriend."
"Did you love him?"
Kurt smiled shyly, practically blushing. "Did I care for him? Yes. Did I love him like a best friend? Of course. Did I hope and dream one day we'd had that white picket fence type of marriage? Absolutely, but so does everyone with their first boyfriend or girlfriend. I needed him and he needed me; we were there for one another. Yeah, we got crap from people, but we never let it bother us. We always had each other, ya know? We wouldn't let them get to us."
"So what changed?" Blaine partly whispered.
Kurt took a deep breath; his body practically shaking when he let it out. "We always thought their rude comments and stupid threats were nothing but sheer homophobia. We never took them literally. Not even when they said they would kill us. We never realized they weren't kidding, and that they were planning something."
Blaine's mouth dropped, though he said nothing.
"It was prom night. Dave and I went as a couple, of course. We ignored the sneers and looks and just danced. We were with out friends and refused to let them ruin our night. Dave and our friend, Santana, were running for prom king and queen. Dave won, and instead of Santana, some jerks rigged it to where I would be the queen. It hurt, of course. I mean, gay or not, I'm no queen, no matter what the slang may be. Anyway, Dave refused to let them get to me. He convinced me that instead of running away in tears, I had to stand strong and prove to them they can't touch me.
"So I went out there and they placed the crown on my head, and people clapped. Like, they actually clapped - like with joy and stuff. Dave and I danced as king and queen then. It was a sweet moment. We were laughing and even kissed at one point. We were having an amazing time. After we left, we walked through the parking lot of the school holding hands. We were talking and laughing, deciding whether we should go back to his house or go out for ice cream or something like that.
"We were almost to the car when we heard it. The emotionless banging of a bat slamming into a headlight. Startled, we looked around, and sure enough, there they were. They surrounded us in a circle, just like the movies. It was mostly guys from the hockey team, but there were some soccer and baseball guys there too. Even football players. And then their leader showed: Brett. We sat next to one another in English; I didn't think much of him, aside from being a homeless-smelling druggie.
"Turns out he was a raging homophobe, and our relationship set him off the edge. I think it all started because I checked him out once in ninth grade, but that was a long time ago, nor did it matter then. Anyway, they circled us and just kept coming closer until we were right in the middle.
'Sorry about your headlight, Karofsky.'Brett said, holding the Louisville slugger in his hands.
"I could tell Dave was confused, and probably scared. I was too, and I'm sure it showed.
'What do you want, Brett?' I finally asked and Brett merely laughed.
'I want you two fags out of my school.' He answered.
'It's prom night, school is gonna be over in a week.' Dave pointed out.
"Brett laughed sickly, tapping the bat against his hand. 'Sorry, but I can't wait that long. I can't deal with the sick, fucked up way you look at one another in halls, or how you two Ladyboy's like to kiss before each class, or just the smell of you two around me. It seems like sweat and hell; it makes me wanna throw up!'
'We're not gonna stop just because you don't like it!'I stepped up, practically shouting in his face.
"Brett said nothing. He just stood there, smiling. 'Oh, but you will.' He told us, his voice grave and dark.
"His expression changed then. His smile was gone and his eyes became black; as if there was no soul behind them. He ordered for the others to get us, and that's exactly what they did. Flashes of red and black came and Dave and I were separated in an instant. I guess, because we were so far into the parking lot, no one could hear us in the school. We tried, though. We screamed and cried for someone to come and stop us, but nothing happened. I even shouted for God, but he didn't answer either. So instead I had to listen as they beat my boyfriend senseless, just before they did the same to me.
"I'm not sure how long it went on for. Maybe five minutes, maybe an hour, but it just seemed to go on and on and on. I could hear Dave fighting back. He was strong, ya know, so he could take a few of them. He shouted my name, trying to break free so he could help me. But that only made them fight harder. I was no match for them, of course. Even when I did try to fight back, they just punched harder and kicked faster; I was too weak to stop them.
"Finally when it stopped, I was lying on the ground in my own blood. My clothes had been torn and all I could hear were the words they were shouting. 'loser', 'dicklick', 'cocksucker', and most of all: 'faggot'. They loved that word, because it hit the hardest. My eyes were burry from tears, but I could just see Dave a few feet away. They were still kicking him, trying to keep him down. At that point, I honestly thought they were gonna kill us. I could hear Brett laughing as he stood above me. Looking up, I saw him smile, just before he raised the bat.
'I hope you enjoyed your sick life, faggot, cause you're done living it.' That was the last thing he said before slamming the bat down on my head.
"I woke up from a coma for a month and a half later, not remember anything. I was scared, of course, having no recollection of the event that took place. I had bits and pieces, but everything else was blank. It wasn't until months of therapy and seeing Dr. Fitzgerald almost every day that I began remembering. That was also when I was diagnosed with PTSD; Posttraumatic stress disorder. I would had dreams of the event or even flashbacks. I could hear their voices and see their faces, as if I were reliving it all over again."
"The day in the shop," Blaine breathed out. "When you saw the licenses plate."
"I hadn't had a relapse in so long. Seeing that . . . it set me off."
"Oh my . . . God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. W-what happened next? With the assholes who did it and with Dave?"
"They were all arrested, thankfully. Charged with hate crimes and attempted murder, they all got fifty to life. Brett, of course, got two life sentences and is hopefully getting his ass ripped apart by someone in jail, if I may be so bold."
"And Dave?"
"Dave . . . despite getting beat twice as bad as me, he awoke from his coma in half the time. He visited me while I was in mine, but ended up moving away before I woke up. His parents though it was better if they left town, ya know? Left what happened behind. Last time I heard, he was going to college Upstate."
"He just got up and left? After everything?"
"Finn used to tell me he cried when he found out. But he was only seventeen and didn't have any other family around here, so he didn't have a choice. He tried to write and call me, but I was still too weak to even realize what was going on. We just lost touch and that was that."
"Kurt, I . . . I don't know what to say. I'm so, so sorry."
Kurt held a hand up, stopping him. "Don't be. It was a long time ago."
"But Brett was right." Blaine spoke after a moment. "You have stopped living your life. I mean, you don't sing or perform anymore. You dad always says for you to go out and be with your friends, which you never do. You're letting him win!"
"It's not that easy." Kurt sighed. "I lost everything since then. I can't stand to see any of my old friends, because I know it'll just be a constant reminder of how they're moving on and I'm stuck here. I feel ashamed to listen to musicals, like I'm just that same old fag who deserved to get his ass beat. I'm scared as shit to be outside in public, fearing someone will go after me again for being who I am. You don't understand!"
"Maybe not!" Blaine argued. "But I know pretending to be someone other than yourself is basically showing them they beat you down to the lowest point."
Kurt shook his head, refusing to look at his friend. "Everyone I've cared about has gotten hurt. Finn's been threatened. My dad used to get phone calls. Carole and Rachel were attacked in the mall once, because they were seen with the faggot. And then with what happened to Dave. . . . I can't let anyone else get hurt. So I lock myself away, making sure no one see's a reason to hate me or anyone I'm with."
"Do you really think that will happen? That someone will go after me if we start going out? Kurt, unless you've forgotten, I'm already been bashed, and I really don't care what they think. I wanna live my life the way I want to live it, not the way they want me to."
"It's easy for you. You're handsome and popular."
"And you weren't when they attacked you? Kurt, do you listen to yourself when you talk? You don't have to be scared and you don't have to hide. You can be yourself; I promise you, no one is going to hurt you again. Yes, some people may not like it, but you can't let them push you down. Not again."
"I don't know if I can do that. Stand up strong and be brave."
"Let me help you." Blaine said. Kurt looked at him, small tears running down his red cheeks. "We can do this together. I can help you." Kurt was silent, not knowing what to say. "We can do this, Kurt. We won't let them touch us."
Sniffing, Kurt gave a small nod. Reaching forward, Blaine took Kurt's hand. Kurt looked at him and with his eyes shining, Kurt smiled. Maybe all hope wasn't lost.
Comments
YAY! Finally! I have been waiting for this chapter! Well done. I was hoping for another kiss at the end of the chapter but thats just something to hope for later. This chapter was worth the wait!