May 1, 2012, 3:53 a.m.
Hiding Who We Truly Are: Chapter 1
E - Words: 4,170 - Last Updated: May 01, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 14/? - Created: Jan 09, 2012 - Updated: Apr 12, 2022 1,887 0 17 0 1
7 YEARS AGO.
"Blaine, please!"
"No Kurt."
"Please, c'mon."
"Kurt!"
"I want it, it won't hurt and it will be good for the both of us."
"No Kurt, I won't do it!" Blaine exclaimed, "I won't bully you! Why would you even suggest that?"
Nine year old Kurt Hummel was sitting cross legged on his bed, facing Blaine, who was leaning against the headboard, arms crossed stubbornly against his chest.
"I'm suggesting it because I don't want to get picked on every day of my life! I'm suggesting it because it'd be safer, not just for me, but for the both of us," Kurt explained.
"But you just asked me to be your bully! That's me picking on you, and how is it safer?" Blaine asked incredulously, throwing his small arms into the air.
Kurt sighed, and leant back against his hands, "You know how it works Blaine," he began sadly, "You've seen how certain kids have certain bullies, bullies who target them more than the others. I want you to be my bully, because I know that whatever you'd do to me wouldn't be nearly as bad as what someone like Karofsky would."
Kurt shuffled closer to Blaine, "I know that I'm different Blaine, and I know that you are too. But the thing is, somehow, everyone else can tell that I'm different, just by looking at me. You don't seem to have that problem."
Kurt leant towards Blaine, touching his leg gently so he would look up, "You're great at football, you're an incredible singer, you're kind, caring, and you have friends. Blaine... you could be popular."
"But-" Blaine's objections were cut off by Kurt's hand covering his mouth.
"Blaine, I like you," Kurt admitted, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. He lowered his hand off of Blaine's mouth and grabbed his right one, linking their fingers together. "I really like you," Kurt squeezed their hands tightly before continuing, "You said the other day that you liked me too."
"I do, but wh-"
"Blaine," Kurt interrupted again, "I was being picked on horribly before I met you. People used to trip me over, push me in the mud, call me girly names." Kurt frowned at the memories, before continuing shakily, "One d-day they stole my sensible heels and told me to stop being such a f-faggot."
"Kurt, please don't say that word," Blaine begged, squeezing Kurt's hand tighter.
They both hated that word, people called Kurt it all the time, just because he dresses differently, and talks differently, and is more interested in playing dress ups than football.
Blaine likes playing football, but more often than not he's had the urge to go play with Kurt. To sing along with him as he rearranged the dollhouse for the third time that day.
"Blaine, I want friends, more than almost anything. But when that imbecile Karofsky is constantly telling everyone that I'm a homo," Kurt scrunched his nose up, "nobody even wants to talk to me," he finished sadly.
"I do," Blaine said sincerely, gazing up at Kurt through his long lashes. "Kurt, I will always want to be your friend." Blaine smiled shyly, before continuing, "That's why I won't bully you. I want to be friends forever, not your bully."
Kurt held back a groan of frustration, "But it won't be bullying," he urged, "It won't! I'll know that you don't mean any of it! You could even tell me what you're going to do beforehand. Please," Kurt begged, squeezing Blaine's hand with both of his own, "I just need Karofsky to stop! Please, Blaine, for me."
"I don't want to hurt you." Blaine mumbled, rubbing his thumb over the back of Kurt's knuckles, "Maybe I could talk to Karofsky, we're kind of friends, because..." Blaine didn't finish his sentence and instead he looked pointedly down at his feet.
"He's friends with you because he doesn't know that you're friends with me," Kurt finished. He was used to it by now. "Blaine, please understand, if you go up to him tomorrow and say ‘Yo, Davey boy-'"
Blaine's giggles cut Kurt off mid-sentence.
"We don't talk like that," Blaine managed to gasp through his laughter.
Kurt smiled, happy that he could make Blaine laugh with such ease.
"Anyway," he continued, smiling fondly at Blaine, "Go up to him tomorrow and tell him that you want to be my bully."
"I don't think that'll work. What happens if he asks why I want to be so mean to you all of a sudden?" Blaine questioned with a frown, still not happy with their plan.
"Just tell him you really hate people like me," Kurt said with a shrug, "People who dress fancy and talk funny."
Blaine's frown deepened and suddenly Kurt's eyes lit up with an idea.
"If that doesn't work, tell him that you don't like me, because I like you," Kurt said, "Tell him that I have a huge crush on you and I've had it since I first met you," Kurt's voice gradually turned to a whisper as he dropped his eyes to his lap, realizing how true his words are.
Blaine lifted the hand that wasn't being held to Kurt's chin and tilted his head upwards so he could look into Kurt's ever-changing eyes.
"If I told him that... then I'd also have to tell him how I like you back," Blaine admitted quietly, never once breaking eye contact, "And how I think you're the most fabulous person I know and that you have really pretty eyes." He said as the tips of his ear turned red in embarrassment.
Kurt tilted his head to the side, flicking one of Blaine's red ears gently as the curly haired boy tried to hide his face, "You really mean that?"
"Yeah, I really do," Blaine whispered, letting his gaze lock with Kurt's again, but then Kurt started to lean in and he found himself staring at Kurt's approaching lips. Blaine's breath hitched in his throat as Kurt's soft lips pressed gently against his own. Both boys' eyes shut and they ever so slightly leaned in more to create more pressure.
It was their first kiss, it was perfect, and when they pulled apart Blaine brought his small hand up to cup Kurt's face, smiling.
"Okay. Okay," he sighed with a smile, "I'll do it for you," Blaine said, tracing his thumb over Kurt's high cheekbone. "I don't really want to, but if you think it will help keep you safe, then okay."
Kurt threw both his arms around Blaine, causing them to crash back into the headboard; Blaine wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt, tucking his head into his shoulder.
"Does this mean we aren't secret best friends anymore?" Blaine asked quietly.
"What?" Kurt pulled back out of Blaine's embrace, shocked and confused.
Blaine took his hand again, squeezing it reassuringly, "I just mean, are we... are we maybe, um, secret boyfriends instead?"
"Oh" Kurt breathed out, realizing what Blaine was asking, "I would like that," he said with a smile, leaning back down to rest his head on Blaine's chest.
Blaine nodded happily, "So tomorrow at school I'll go tell Dave that from now on, no matter what, you are mine."
Kurt giggled lightly at the double meaning, before snuggling deeper into Blaine's chest, and starting the movie they were supposed to be watching.
PRESENT DAY.
"You're mine, you're mine, you're mine!" Blaine growled into Kurt's ear possessively.
"Fuck yes," Kurt panted in response, gripping Blaine shoulders tighter, "Yes, babe, I'm yours, only yours."
Blaine had Kurt pushed up against the boys bathroom door, which thankfully had a lock on it. Kurt was writhing deliciously against him as Blaine's hands kneaded Kurt's ass through the back pocket of his jeans, grinding their hips together.
"God baby," Blaine said, kissing his way across Kurt's jaw, "You taste so fucking good." Blaine worked his way down Kurt's throat stopping at his pulse point and slowly sucking as he thrust harder.
Kurt simply groaned in response and removed his hands from where they had been fisted in Blaine's curly hair, down to Blaine's ass, helping them grind their hips together at a more rapid pace.
"Baby," Kurt panted, "If you don't stop," he groaned again, "I'm going to cum in my pants."
Blaine placed a trail of open-mouthed kisses from Kurt's pulse point up to the shell of his ear. "Well," Blaine breathed hotly, causing Kurt to shiver, "We can't have you ruining these lovely jeans, can we Kurt?" He said giving Kurt's ass a smack.
"Please," Kurt begged, digging his blunt nails into Blaine's shoulder blades.
"Please what baby?" Blaine asked innocently, thrusting harder as he reattached his lips to Kurt's throat, sucking painfully hard.
"Please suck me," Kurt begged again, whimpering loudly at the lack of contact as Blaine stepped back. He didn't even care how desperate he sounded; he needed Blaine's mouth on him and he needed it now.
Blaine unzipped his own pants, pulled them down and shimmied out of his underwear, effectively releasing his throbbing cock.
Kurt gasped, no matter how many times he'd seen, held and felt Blaine's dick, he'd never get used to it. To him Blaine's cock is a work of art, something that should be worshipped, but only by him.
Still standing away from his boyfriend, Blaine grasped his own erection and pumped himself a few times, panting Kurt's name.
"Blaine," Kurt groaned, reaching out to pull Blaine towards him.
"Did you think I'd forgotten how hot you get when I touch myself in front of you?" Blaine continued to stroke himself.
Kurt groaned again, equally hating and loving just how much of a tease Blaine could be. He stepped forward determinedly; taking control and shoving Blaine to his knees, he then reached his hands down and popped open the button of his own jeans.
Blaine's hands flew to Kurt's, pushing them away from the zipper, and palming Kurt's bulge roughly.
Kurt stepped back against the door, his head hitting it with a thump, as Blaine crawled after him, chasing his boyfriend's hips and grabbing them to keep him still.
As Blaine slowly lowered the zipper on Kurt's jeans with one hand as he used the other to push the boy's shirt up and suck on the pale hip that he loves so much.
Kurt groaned again, fisting his hand into Blaine's curls and pulling his head back by his hair, forcing Blaine to look up into his eyes, "I need my dick in your mouth," He growled.
Blaine, who has always loved Kurt playing with his hair, looked into Kurt's eyes and nodded eagerly. He swiftly pulled Kurt's jeans and briefs down, keeping their eyes locked.
Blaine's fingers dug tightly into the back of Kurt's naked thighs as he licked a long, wet trail from the base of Kurt's throbbing cock to the tip, flicking his tongue out to lap at the pre-cum on the slit.
"Oh god, baby," Kurt panted, trying his best to not thrust into Blaine's face as his other hand found its way to those curls that he loves so much, he used both hands to gently urge Blaine forward.
Blaine sucked the head of Kurt's cock in his mouth, teasing his boyfriend. Above him Kurt groaned in frustration and began thrusting his hips slightly in need of the wet heat of Blaine's mouth. Blaine let the head of Kurt's cock pop out of his mouth with a smirk.
"What? Why? No, Blaine, no," Kurt whined. Blaine sat back on his heels, and watched his boyfriend writher against the door, thrusting desperately into the open air. Blaine had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
"Baby," Blaine said huskily. Kurt focused his eyes down to stare at his boyfriend in question, his lust filled pupils a mirror of Blaine's. "I want you to fuck my mouth."
Kurt let out a groan, "Yes, fuck yes," he growled in agreement, pulling Blaine's head back to his cock, shivering as Blaine's warm mouth enveloped him. Blaine's hands found their way back to Kurt, one on Kurt's hip, once grasping the base of his cock.
As soon as Blaine had a firm hold of his boyfriend, Kurt's fingers tightened in Blaine's curls and he thrust harshly into his welcoming mouth.
Kurt let out a satisfied moan and continued to thrust, but not as deeply as before, after all he doesn't want to choke Blaine, but still deep enough to make him mewl in pleasure. As Kurt fucked into his mouth, Blaine continuously twisted his hand around the base of Kurt's dick making sure every part of his length was covered.
"Blaine," Kurt panted, thrusting faster as Blaine shifted his head slightly, allowing Kurt to go deeper.
Blaine kept sucking, his cheeks hollowing out as Kurt's hips snapped forward at an incredible speed, loving the rough way in which Kurt pulled his hair, positioning him where he wanted.
"Oh fuck, baby!"
As Kurt's hips snapped forward faster and faster Blaine sucked harder and every so often he would graze his teeth over Kurt's cock, when he did this it elicited a high pitched keening sound from his boyfriend that Blaine relished in.
Blaine started to hum, and pressed his tongue to the vein that runs on the underside of Kurt's cock.
"Fuck yes, Blaine I'm close."
Kurt was panting heavily as he thrust deeply into Blaine's mouth. Blaine dug his fingers into Kurt's hip again, before letting go of it, and bringing his hand down to his own cock, jerking himself and humming loudly as Kurt fucks into his mouth.
"More, Blaine!"
Blaine hummed louder, and Kurt tugged his hair sharply in warning, before his hot cum suddenly shot down Blaine's throat, Blaine swallowed greedily, drinking every precious drop as Kurt continued to thrust, weaker now as he climaxed.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Blaine, oh God! Oh yes," Kurt's always very verbal when he cums... unless his mouth is occupied elsewhere.
As the last shudders rocked through Kurt's body he once again let out another deep throaty groan but this time it was of Blaine's name and that was it.
"Blaine."
Blaine came on the bathroom floor to the sound of his name falling from Kurt's lips; he still has one hand gripping his own cock and one hand still grasping Kurt's. When Kurt had been sucked dry and Blaine had created a substantial puddle on the floor, Blaine let Kurt slip out of his mouth.
Without Blaine's support Kurt was sliding down the bathroom door, unable to hold himself up but quickly his boyfriend's strong arms wrapped around him. "You can't sit there baby, you'll get cum on your ass."
"What?" Kurt asked still dazed from his intense orgasm, Blaine merely shook his head and chuckled in response.
After a few minutes of ragged breathing from both Kurt and Blaine, Blaine stood up slowly, helping Kurt to do the same and kissed him gently.
"We need to do this more often," Kurt murmured, blissfully happy, "We don't see each other enough at school."
Blaine hummed in agreement and pulled his pants up, looping his belt through his own jeans as Kurt mirrored his actions.
Blaine walked over to the paper towel dispenser and pulled out a clump, wetting them in the sink before cleaning up his mess on the floor.
Kurt turned to the mirror, frowning at the hickey below his right ear as Blaine threw the used paper towels in the bin.
Kurt sighed quietly in fake annoyance, and rummaged through his messenger bag for his tube of concealer, dabbing it on thickly as Blaine approached him from behind.
He smiled at Kurt's reflection sheepishly, standing up on his toes and resting his chin on Kurt's shoulder as he wound his arms around his waist, "Sorry about that babe."
Kurt shook his head fondly, placing his spare hand on Blaine's forearm.
"I don't mind too much, it's more inconvenient than anything," he shrugged.
Blaine kissed his neck tenderly and stepped away, bringing his hands to his hair to try and tame the mess atop it.
Kurt watched him in amusement before he decided to take pity on his boyfriend and pulled out a small tub of gel. Handing it over to Blaine, he reminded him to only use "the size of a dime", before pulling out his own hairspray, and attacking his disheveled bangs.
"Kurt," Blaine said hesitantly after a few minutes of them both silently fixing their appearances, "It's been seven years. Don't you think we should stop this now?"
Kurt huffed in annoyance, he tossed his hairspray and the abandoned gel bottle back into his bag before he spun to face his boyfriend, leaning back against the bathroom wall and crossing his arms.
"I don't think we should, Blaine. For the last seven years this," he said unfolding one arm and gesturing to the both of them, "has actually worked for us; during the day you're a complete dick to me, at night you amend that by playing with mine."
Blaine flinched and folded his arms across his stomach, looking down at the floor.
Kurt knew Blaine too well, and immediately he regretted his words.
Kurt pushed himself off the wall and carefully made his way towards Blaine, who was staring intently at the ground. "Baby, I'm sorry." Kurt said and he snaked an arm around Blaine's middle, rubbing his back gently as he continued, "I didn't mean that."
"Really?" Blaine asked, leaning into Kurt's familiar hold as he sniffed back his tears, "Because it sure sounded like you meant it."
"No, no," Kurt said quietly, wiping away the stray tear that was making it's was down Blaine's cheek, "It's not like that at all. What we have is amazing Blaine. It's special, and loving and-"
"It's a secret, Kurt. Hiding what we have, it's not right, it's not healthy, it's torturous."
The hand that was rubbing soothing circles on Blaine's back stopped and Kurt pulled away to look at his boyfriend incredulously, "What do you mean by torturous?"
Blaine took a deep breath, thinking carefully about his answer, "Kurt, for the first two years, me being your bully worked great. We were secret boyfriends, and you never once got hit, or shoved by anyone. You were called names by me, but I always apologized after."
"I know," Kurt leant back into Blaine, his hand resuming its slow trek up and down his back, "That wasn't your fault, to keep the act up you had to say those things."
Blaine nodded, "Exactly. But as we've grown older, the bullying has become more physical. The guys aren't satisfied with me only calling you degrading slurs and sneering at you when we walk past. You've seen how they treat Jacob Ben-Israel, he gets tossed into dumpsters every morning, tripped as he's walking down the hall, locked in port-a-potties, checked into lockers." Blaine uttered sadly, looking up at Kurt. "They've been egging me to do the same to you, and I have, even though it's usually only the tiniest of things. Most days I can convince them that, ‘violence isn't cool,' but it's becoming more and more common for me to have to physically hurt you, just so we can keep up with this charade."
"Blaine," Kurt said gently, stepping in front of him and cupping his face, "I told you I was okay with that."
Blaine let out a frustrated growl, spinning away from Kurt, he wrapped his arms around his middle again and walked towards the door, "Well, maybe I'm not! It hurts, Kurt, every time I have to call you a homo or a fairy or a pussy it kills me."
He pivoted back to face Kurt, pain evident in his eyes. "Every time I shove you into a locker," Blaine gasped walking towards him. "Every slur, every name," he grabbed Kurt's hand, and placed them both on his chest, over his heart, "I feel it in here." Blaine took a deep, shuddering breath, "I see how it hurts you and just knowing that I'm the cause of your pain... It kills me," Blaine finished, hanging his head and stepping away from Kurt, towards the bathroom door again.
"Blaine," Kurt called quietly as he followed him to the exit. Blaine paused at the door he'd just unlocked, and waited for Kurt.
Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist, pulling his chest flush against Blaine's back.
"Blaine, I'm sorry, I am," Kurt said, peppering light kisses against the side of Blaine's neck. "I know I'm being selfish, but for the past seven years I've been safe... we've been safe."
Kurt pressed longer, lingering kisses behind Blaine's ear, nipping lightly at the soft flesh of his lobe, "That's all because of you," he whispered, his hot breath caressing Blaine's ear. Blaine shuddered gently, closing his eyes.
Kurt pulled away, keeping his arms around Blaine and kissing his neck once more before continuing; "You think I want to keep living like this, in secrecy? No, I don't, but you know what happens to kids like us in this school," Kurt reminded him quietly, "I just don't want us to end up like James and Oliver."
Both boys grimaced at the memory. It had been three months since the 'accident.' James and Oliver had been the only openly gay couple at McKinley. They had been together for several weeks when, one day, after school, they were cornered and beaten to within an inch of their lives by McKinley's homophobic footballers.
The authorities had had no hard evidence as to who had been responsible, so no one was held accountable. James and Oliver were forced apart by their families, and no one has heard from them since.
The only reason they knew of this was because Blaine had been invited to help ‘rid the school of the homo couple.' He didn't go, obviously, but also refrained from saying anything, and that was something that haunted him each and every day.
"Please don't remind me of them," Blaine begged softly, turning in Kurt's arms to face him.
"I'm sorry, it's just I don't want that to happen to us. If anything ever happened to you, I would never be able to forgive myself," Kurt stated as Blaine leant his head against his shoulder.
The bell signaled for lunch, but neither boy heard it as they were too wrapped up in each other.
"The bullying keeps escalating," Blaine said biting his bottom lip, "and Kurt, I don't want to scare you... but Karofsky thinks that I'm getting soft, that I'm not being rough enough." Blaine pulled back from him, the crease in his brow indicating just how scared he was.
"He told me that if I didn't put you in your place soon, he would," Blaine finished quietly.
Kurt went stiff in Blaine's arms, his breath hitched in his throat and his jaw clenched painfully tight.
Karofsky terrified him, more so than any homophobe he'd ever faced before. There was this fierce intensity about the way he glared at him. The other guys just bullied him for fun. To them, Kurt was just the gay kid who dressed weird and had an unusually high voice. But to Karofsky, it was like just the thought of Kurt made him physically sick, it was like Karofsky felt he had the right to rid the world of homosexuals, one by one, starting with Kurt.
He knew this day would come eventually, but he'd naively hoped he'd have until senior year.
Maybe this was the universe trying to restore balance, maybe, after seven amazing years of minimal harassment; it was time for his life to take a turn for the worst again.
Blaine squeezed Kurt's shoulder gently.
"Hmm?" Kurt said, he had zoned out and missed what Blaine was saying.
"I was saying that I don't care what I have to do, I won't let him touch you. I swear, if he even tries I'll-"
"I need you to punch me," Kurt said flatly, interrupting Blaine.
Blaine stepped back, astounded, "What?! No! No way in hell Kurt."
"Think about it Blaine," Kurt stepped forward, grabbing Blaine's hands, "You need to ‘put me in my place.' You need to hit me, in the face where everyone can see."
Blaine ripped his hands away from Kurt, looking at him like he was seeing him for the first time, "No Kurt! Never in the seven years of this charade of ours, have I ever hurt you like that, and I'm not going to start now."
"But, if you want Karofsky to stop..." Kurt trailed off gently.
Blaine pulled Kurt into a tight hug, "I won't let anything happen to you... you're mine remember. I just need to talk to them, hopefully they'll let me deal with you my way," He whispered almost desperately, kissing Kurt's neck.
Kurt sighed in defeat and wrapped his arms tighter around Blaine. Truth be told he was extremely sick of this stupid act they had. It's been seven years and both he and Blaine had been through so much together, he just wished they'd get a break.
Blaine sighed happily, whispering reassuringly into Kurt's ear just as the door opened quietly, and Noah Puckerman walked in, Finn Hudson trailing quickly after him, looking like he was about to piss himself.
"Megan Fox is a thousand times hot-"
They stopped dead in their tracks as their eyes fell upon Kurt and Blaine, who still had their arms wrapped around each other.
"What the fuck?" Puck gaped in disbelief at the boys who were now frozen.
"I'm so sorry, I love you," Blaine whispered quickly into Kurt's ear just loud enough for him to hear, before shoving Kurt away roughly.
"What did I tell you about touching me fag?" Blaine demanded, eyes filled with pain but voice strong, unwavering.
And then Blaine did something he'd swore he never would.
Comments
Hi :) Awwww, thank you so much! Yep, should be updating soon :)
I love this...this is so good! I hope too see an update soon! :)
This is really an amazing chapter. The whole plot is very original. I can't wait for more! *Favorites*
Hi :) Thanks so much for the awesome review :) Next chapter should be up soon :)
Hi :) sorry for late response, i try to respond to all reviews but yeah i actually have the first 10 chapters written, they are just getting Beta'd, so they will be up soon (i hope) Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review :)
OH MY GOD UPDATE!
Hi :) thanks so much for your awesome review :) i will try and update soon :)
OMG! UPDATE! i need to know what happens like now! This is so good :)
Wow, Oh My God! Thank you, I feel so honoured :) I will definitely try and update soon, my first 10 chapters have been written and I'm just waiting for them to be Beta'd, so hopefully an update will happen soon :) But thank you again! :)
hi, i got an account just to tell you how amazing this story is. please please pease continue with it. i REALLY love it and want to know what else happens. it is really amazing. please write more!
this is soooo...just wow. at the beginning sweet and inocent childrean and now...wow again awesome story. i have to read moooore
AHHHH!!! I LOVE this story!!! Cant wait for more!!!!
Thank you so much <3 Update should be happeing soon :)
I am surprised how much I like them together too!
Update :)
Are you going to update this anytime soon?
I look forward to reading when I get the chance :-)