Feb. 5, 2013, 4:24 p.m.
Part of My Chemistry: Chapter 8
E - Words: 3,106 - Last Updated: Feb 05, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: May 22, 2012 - Updated: Feb 05, 2013 333 0 2 0 0
Arriving at Ev's apartment, Finn was fairly thrumming with anticipation as he stood outside the musician's door. He knocked, ready to pull Ev into his arms and kiss him the minute he appeared.
Ev walked over to the door in a daze. When he saw Finn standing there, he just stared for a second, shocked into being uncertain whether the man was even really there. But he was. Finn was looking at him like an eager puppy, and Ev's stomach clenched. Well, at least now he knew that the video hadn't been sent on purpose. "You sent the wrong file," he observed, tone dull and listless. Anger bubbled up beneath the shock, and Ev gripped the door tighter in his free hand. "He was in your apartment, Finn. He... you... the two of you are... you're together. Living together? Fuck... how long? How long have you been..." He was shaking with the effort of holding himself together. "I'm an idiot. All that time I was falling for you and you were... you were just..." Everett could feel the tears threatening again and quickly snapped, "Get the fuck out of here and don't come back," before slamming the door and locking it quickly. Still shaking, Ev made his way back to the bedroom and slammed that door too. If Finn had any entreaties to make, he could make them to the front door.
Finn's heart plummeted. Of all the idiotic things he'd ever done in his life, this topped them all. //Shit...// In his excitement, he'd accidentally attached the wrong file and it had blown up in his face. What could he say? What could he do? Finn had never seen Ev so hurt or angry. And he had every right to be despite the fact the two of them had discussed the possibility of sharing another lover. Actually seeing it apparently was vastly different from entertaining the thought. Ev was the first man he'd ever admitted his true feeling to. He was the first man he'd ever loved. And now... he'd ruined it all with one slip of a finger.
"I'm sorry, Ev," he whispered feebly at the closed door. Then, completely shattered, Finn turned and headed back downstairs to his waiting car.
Driving around for what seemed like hours, he turned into the parking lot of Kurt's hotel. He folded his hands on the steering wheel and rested his head. He looked like hell, and there would be no hiding the fact that something had happened from his observant stepbrother. But he had no intention of letting Kurt know what had really happened. As he trudged out of the car and toward the hotel room door, Finn knocked and called out, "Hey, are you ready to go?"
"More than," Kurt agreed. He'd managed to fit everything he owned into one large suitcase and a moving box and gestured for Finn to grab the box while he hefted the suitcase into the trunk of the car. Noting his stepbrother's suddenly downtrodden demeanor, Kurt faltered and his expression darkened. Was Finn having second thoughts? "Is... is everything alright?" he ventured uncertainly.
"What?" Distracted, Finn only vaguely registered Kurt's concerned question. "Yeah, everything's fine. I..." He trailed off, shaking his head miserably. Kurt had always been able to read him like a book. And there was simply no use in hiding his feelings from his stepbrother. "No, that's not true," Finn admitted, leaning back with an almighty sigh. "I did something stupid. Really, really stupid. And Ev broke up with me." Now Kurt might be powerfully observant and try to drag it out of him. But Finn had absolutely no intention of divulging the reason why. Kurt might never forgive him--especially if Ev revealed everything to Blaine--and that was something he could not live with.
"Oh, Finn... god, I'm so sorry!" Kurt reached out and took Finn's hand and squeezed it. He wanted to ask what had happened during so brief a visit to make things go so wrong, but Finn didn't look like he was up to hashing it all out. "Let's get home and I'll make you something for dinner, alright? Something nice. I was going to anyway to thank you for giving me a place to stay and... Whatever you need. Let me take care of you tonight." He hated that Finn had lost his lover when things had sounded like they were so good between the two of them. "What do you say? Boys' night?"
Leave it to Kurt to make him feel better. Finn had absolutely no right to be cheered up. He'd screwed up big time, and his stepbrother had unknowingly played a part in it. "That's what I'd hoped you'd say, bro," he replied, managing a half-grin despite his guilt and broken heart. "I've missed your cooking. You know I've never been any good in the kitchen." That was about all the cheerfulness Finn could muster. He prayed for Kurt's sake that Ev wouldn't divulge their actions to Blaine. Because he knew the devastation it would cause all around. Making love to Kurt hadn't been a mistake; he'd wanted it, Kurt wanted it. But he doubted Blaine Anderson would ever understand. "I appreciate you wanting to keep me company. But I know you're dying to talk to Blaine." Finn sighed, starting the car. "Why don't you call him when we get home?"
Kurt couldn't help blushing at the offer, though it was true. He did want to talk to Blaine - wanted badly to talk to him. No matter how upset he'd been that morning, Kurt found that even after a few hours, he genuinely missed the man. "I'd like to if you don't mind... but then you're getting dinner whether you want it or not." Kurt had already scoped out the fridge and found that Finn had a decent stock of ingredients even if he didn't use them. He was buzzing with anticipation by the time they reached the apartment, and Kurt gratefully grabbed the wireless phone, instructing Finn to pick out anything he wanted for dinner and he'd make it before slipping into the bedroom for some privacy. Kurt dialed Blaine's number from the business card in his pocket. When the man finally answered, Kurt smiled to himself. "Hi... It's Kurt. I'm sorry... I should have called earlier. I was moving. I'll be staying with my stepbrother - with Finn - and... time got away from me."
After the thoroughly shitty day he'd had, Kurt's voice was exactly what Blaine needed. "No, I should have called you," he insisted, his heart warming as he could actually hear the other man smiling on the other end of the phone. "Kurt, listen, I'm sorry I had to leave. Business came up, and I know that sounds like a feeble excuse. But, when Dad calls, I really don't have much of a choice." Another thing to blame his brothers for. He quickly pushed the thought of Everett and Cooper out of his mind before the image of his siblings tangled up in each other could reappear. "It's late, but I want to see you again," Blaine continued, feeling uncharacteristically bashful now. "Are you busy tomorrow?"
"No. I need to unpack, but... well, I'll have that taken care of tonight. I'm free whenever you are. And... I wouldn't mind trying that proper date thing again." A hint of nerves seeped into Kurt's voice as he confessed, "I just really want to... know you. Talk to you." Not wanting to make the call into anything too painfully serious, Kurt forced his tone to lighten. "So just give me a time and a place and I'll be there. I have a shift tomorrow night, but until 10, I'm all yours."
Blaine definitely liked the sound of that. //All mine...// "I did promise you a proper date, didn't I? So, how about I take you to the fanciest Italian restaurant in town? Ai Fiori? Say about six o'clock?" His pulse quickening, the excitement over the opportunity of seeing Kurt again brimming over. "You don't have to meet me there. This is a date, and I want it to be perfect. Let me come by and pick you up." Visions of arriving with a bouquet of roses filled Blaine's head as he had every intention of completely sweeping Kurt off his feet.
Kurt couldn't help but smile at the idea. He wondered if it was a good idea considering the fact that seeing Blaine might still be a little jarring for Finn - but, then again, his stepbrother had also encouraged him to contact Blaine and try to work things out. "I'd love that." He pulled out his phone, having put the address in knowing that he'd never learn it so quickly on his own, and related the information to the other man. It had been a long time since Kurt had something so special to dress up for, and he was glad that he'd been vain enough not to sell off all his designer even when things got tight. The selection had dwindled considerably, but he knew he could still make himself presentable enough for the evening. "I can hardly wait, actually."
"I'm already counting the minutes," Blaine agreed, his tone low and seductive and filled with excitement. "I'll see you tomorrow evening." Ending the call with Kurt, he felt worlds better after his terrible day. He had no one to blame except himself, really. If he'd never agreed to that damned rendezvous in the first place, then he wouldn't have been subjected to Cooper's company, nor have to endure the sight of his brothers crawling all over each other like wild animals. Again. Cutting his ties with his siblings once and for all had been the best thing to do. Not seeing Everett hurt him deeply, but it was better than the alternative. Pushing those thoughts aside, Blaine concentrated instead on planning the perfect date with Kurt.
*****
Finn ventured into the bedroom, peeking around the corner to find that Kurt had ended his conversation. His stepbrother fairly glowed, which was definitely a good sign. He'd been wracked with guilt over the possibility of Everett confiding in his brother about the video. But, much to his relief, all seemed right with the world. "Everything okay?" he asked, just to be safe. "You're smiling, so it must be... right?"
Kurt looked up at his stepbrother, unable to keep from grinning. "Yes, everything's fine. Blaine's going to come by and time me out for dinner tomorrow before work. I guess I was just being a little... dramatic." Kurt shrugged slightly and then shook his head. "In other words, my usual." He rose and gave Finn's hand a warm squeeze as he passed the other man by on the way to the kitchen. "Now, what did you want for dinner? Anything we have the ingredients for is game." The least Finn deserved was a proper meal after suffering a break-up with someone he obviously cared about.
"Oh, you know I'll eat anything," Finn replied, leaning against the door frame and watching Kurt. He suddenly felt maudlin despite being glad that things had worked out for his brother and Blaine. Having never set out to intentionally cause someone pain, the weight of Finn's guilt over hurting Everett threatened to crush him. Although they had talked about the possibility of a threesome, seeing your lover within someone on video wasn't the same thing. Then, there was Kurt. Every since that first quick and intense coupling at the strip club, he had started to feel things for his brother that excited and confused him. You couldn't love two people at the same time... could you? "Kurt," he started, without thinking, "is it wrong that I'm a little jealous of Blaine?" Finn sighed, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm not looking to jump into another relationship this fast. But, if things were different..." He paused, shaking his head sadly. "No, it's stupid... why would you still want me?"
Surprised by the words and caught off guard, Kurt stared at the man with wide eyes for a moment before blushing and going back to organizing the ingredients for steak and roasted red potatoes. "I do. I... I would." It was confusing. Of course he cared about Finn. He always had, and Kurt was fairly certain that, stepbrother or not, he always would. Finn had been his ideal for so long that everyone else had to measure up to him in a lot of ways. Now, knowing that he could have Finn was exciting and tempting and scary all at once. As he methodically went through his mis en place, Kurt mulled over how to follow that up. "The way I connected with Blaine... it's something that I'd regret not exploring. I missed him. Just being away for a few hours today, I missed him, and... I don't want to give up on that, but it doesn't mean that I don't..." Kurt looked bashfully back over his shoulder at Finn, "It doesn't mean that I don't feel anything for you." //Or Cam,// he added silently.
Hearing that gave Finn a little spark of hope, which quickly evaporated. Had had no right expressing his feelings for his stepbrother, or causing complications for Kurt when it was clear his heart wanted to pursue a relationship with Blaine. "Thanks, Kurt," he said softly. "I had my chance with you, and I blew it. I'm not about to do anything to mess things up with you and Blaine." Moving up behind his stepbrother, Finn snaked his arms around Kurt's slender waist and gave him a warm embrace. "Gonna treasure those moments we had, I hope you know that." He breathed in Kurt's scent, and pressed a tender kiss to his throat before backing away. Determined to keep himself in check while he and Kurt lived together, Finn could see a lot of cold showers in his future.
As soon as the stakes were sizzling on the stove and the potatoes drizzled with olive oil and placed in the oven, Kurt turned to Finn and leaned back against the counter. "I'd... actually like your permission to do something. I don't want to if you really don't want me to, but... it's important to me that I stop hiding. Since I left home, I've been lying about everything. It's not any way to live." Kurt had been thinking about it since he first saw Finn and begged his stepbrother to try and uphold the lie for him. It was ridiculous. "I'd like to tell Blaine about us, about what happened because maybe the timing was wrong, but I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not sorry that it happened, and if that's something he can't live with..." Kurt shrugged and offered Finn a faint smile. "I'm also going to call dad. And Cam. I've been really stupid for a really long time, and I need to stop."
Now that completely took Finn by surprise. It made him very proud of Kurt to want to be so forthcoming and honest, while--at the same time--adding to the weight of his guilt over the video he'd mistakenly sent Everett. "If you're really sure?" he started carefully. Finn had no idea how Blaine might react. It wasn't as if he and Kurt had made a commitment or anything. But he didn't want the confession over their tryst ruining a potential meaningful relationship for his stepbrother. "But I don't think you should tell your Dad about dancing in a strip club," Finn cautioned, adding after a moment, "Otherwise he'll come up here and drag you home, and it won't matter how old you are either."
Kurt nodded slowly at that. "No, you're right, but I at least want to apologize for being so distant. It's been ridiculous. I think I'll go with 'bartending'." Burt wouldn't be thrilled about that, but at least he wouldn't have another heart attack. "But Cameron deserves to know. I should have told him from the start." Kurt could hardly believe in retrospect that he'd been so stupid about the whole thing. "I'm hoping dad will at least be happy I'm staying with you now. As for Blaine, I... I can't lie. I don't want to. I think it will be better to tell him now than for him to find out somehow or suspect something... I just... I want to be sure he's okay with all of me before we move forward. It wouldn't be fair otherwise."
Finn died a little inside. He wanted to tell Kurt the truth, about the video and how he'd really fucked things up with Everett. But he was too much of a coward. Here was his stepbrother being brave, and he couldn't even return the favor. //He'll hate me. I know he will.// Certain of that, Finn decided to keep it a secret. "Well, if Blaine has a problem with it, you still have me," he replied, sporting a crooked, little-boy-lost expression he'd usually reserved for High School math. "But, I meant what I said, I'm not going to get in your way. I want this to work out for you, dude. God knows you deserve to be happy." Reaching out and caressing the back of Kurt's neck, Finn pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Now that he'd lost Ev, he had no intention of losing Kurt too.
When dinner was ready, they sat down to eat and Finn hadn't enjoyed such an amazing meal in quite some time. He complimented Kurt all the way through, even offering to pay for all the ingredients his stepbrother needed to keep right on cooking. Once they were finished and the dishes were put away, Finn fetched some clean linen, some pillows and blanket. Then, he made out the sofa bed for Kurt. As badly as he would have liked to have shared his own bed, he knew the temptation to do more than sleep was far too great.
Saying goodnight, Finn disappeared into the bathroom and took a shower--a cold one--before climbing under the covers and having himself a good cry over Ev and what he couldn't have with Kurt.
Comments
Oh God! Everett and Finn will be the death of me!!!! Please let it be ok!!!!
I swear, hurting Ev is like kicking a puppy. He may be one of my favorite characters I've ever written for, and it KILLS me.