The doe eyes worked perfectly, and Mercedes smiled and swatted him on the arm. "Oh, fine. You go get your mack on. If I didn't have my lipstick perfected, I'd give you a kiss for luck."

Kurt beamed and kissed her sculpted hair, "Knock 'em dead!" before breezing out of the room. It felt like he'd been trapped in the first floor bathroom forever. Honestly, forever. He didn't see Blaine or Damien in the main room and sighed dramatically. He was bumping around without any real direction before finally running into Wes. The other Warbler was a good shot at finding out what direction his boyfriend might have gone in. "Have you seen Blaine?"

"Yeah, he headed to the garage with Damien. Looked kinda pale. I think he might've been feeling sick or something." Wes smirked. "Anderson's a lightweight."

Kurt immediately felt awful for not being there when Blaine wasn't feeling well. "Thanks," he answered before hurrying on to the garage. If anyone was going to hold Blaine's hand while he threw up or whatever, it was damn well going to be Kurt. Even if the thought made him a little queasy too. He was prepared for a great many disgusting things when he burst onto the scene. None of those things were Damien on his knees in front of Blaine while his boyfriend moaned. Kurt's jaw dropped, and he felt as if the world had gone away with it.

Kurt couldn't help staring for a moment as if the image might shift to something he could understand. He silently prayed that it would. He found no such luck. It remained Damien and Blaine. He could still see the look of absolute pleasure on his boyfriend's face as someone else went down on him. Kurt's mouth went dry, and he backed out of the room hurriedly. Tears blurred his vision, and he almost ran into several people. He made for the first dim room he spotted only to find it occupied.

He started to move away only to realize he knew the sound of the voice groaning in pleasure on the couch. Blinking away the tears, he realized that it was Finn with some stranger writhing on top of him - a stranger that looked almost disturbingly familiar. Kurt sucked in a breath and fell back against the wall outside the room. He couldn't walk anymore. It was too much. Too damn much. He tried to tell himself that he was happy that Finn had found someone. He repeated the words like a litany in his head even as the sounds of the party and the moans from inside the room threatened to drown it out. Kurt listened as the stranger made quick good-byes, and he felt his heart clench. Finn deserved better than that.

Though his knees still shook, he forced himself to move and stepped around the corner. "Finn?" he called in a small voice, desperate for someone he knew, someone he could trust.

Unsure whether Ryan had returned or if he might be hallucinating, Finn raised his head with an effort and peered into the dim light. "Kurt?" he hailed back. Sure that it was his stepbrother, Finn vaguely registered that something was very, very wrong. Alarm sent him into action... Only to land in an undignified heap on the floor. He cried out in pain, gritting his teeth even as he tried to stand one more and go to Kurt.

Kurt was by his side in a heartbeat. "Oh, Finn, are you... are you okay?" He reached for his stepbrother's arm and helped Finn back up onto the couch, biting his lip. He definitely hadn't meant to startle Finn quite so much, and sniffled, wiping away the tears and trying to get ahold of himself. It wasn't Finn's problem, really. It was his. He'd been stupid enough to think everything really WAS fine just because it had seemed fine. Kurt found himself wishing his dad was at home. It was definitely the sort of night where he could have done with eschewing any attempt to be an adult for awhile to curl up on the couch with his father and just be comforted. "I was," Kurt's voice broke, and he swallowed, "I was going to call a cab. Thought you might want to come with me. If-if you're ready to... to leave." He'd tried hard to sound composed and dignified and, in his own estimation, had mostly failed at the attempt.

"Yeah, more than ready," Finn agreed, sobering at the sight of his clearly upset stepbrother. The urge to embrace Kurt was overwhelming; he simply could not bear the sight of the other boy in pain. Somehow he managed to pull himself up off the couch, using his crutches for support. "C'mon, let's go home." Luckily there were plenty of taxi cabs on duty that night, and he and Kurt did not have to wait long for a ride. They bundled into the back seat and, as soon as they were settled and had given the driver their address, Finn's good arm wrapped itself around Kurt. "You must be pissed with me," he decided, finding no other reason for Kurt's distress. "I broke my promise."

Kurt shook his head. It probably would have been a good idea to lecture Finn about drinking and about doing god knows what with a complete stranger, but he couldn't. Instead he just rested his head on Finn's shoulder and scooted in closer. "No," he answered quietly. "I worry about you, but it... you didn't... you didn't do anything wrong, Finn. Honestly. Not to me. I..." It had hurt to see him with someone else, but Kurt wasn't so upset that he couldn't see that any jealousy was most definitely his own problem. Softly, he asked, "Can you be just my friend tonight? Please."

"You don't have to ask me twice," Finn whispered, drawing Kurt in closer. His mind feverishly worked to reason out what had happened to leave his stepbrother in such a state. Had some asshole bullied him again? And where was Blaine...? Finn froze. //Blaine...// "Kurt," he started gently. "Did something happen with Blaine?"

Kurt considered brushing it off, keeping Finn at arm's length, but that would defeat the purpose of having him as a confidante. "Yes," he answered in the same soft voice as if speaking any louder would somehow make it more real. "I... I went with Mercedes to help her freshen up, and when I came back, Blaine wasn't there. Wes told me he was... in the garage..." Kurt could hear the tremor in his own voice and hated the weakness, the vulnerability. He also couldn't do a damn thing about it when he was so close to starting to sob again. "He was there with Damien. They... were... Damien was..." He'd never been good at talking about sex, and this seemed to be no exception. Kurt shook his head and hoped that Finn could fill in the blanks himself.

Stunned, Finn couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Blaine Anderson cheating on Kurt of all people? It didn't make sense, no it seemed absolutely impossible. Finn wouldn't have even thought twice about it if the words hadn't come from Kurt himself. "Kurt, God..." He held his stepbrother closed, caressing his arm as if the tender gesture could magically demolish the hurt. "...I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry..."

The sweet words were all it took for the dam to break. Kurt began crying in earnest, his face pressed against Finn's shirt, heedless of the fact that he was getting fake blood on himself in the process. He needed someone to lean on both literally and figuratively, and he was immeasurably grateful that Finn was giving him that. "Why would he... god, it's my fault. He never would have if I... hadn't..." Kurt's thoughts were as disjointed as the words as he cried his sorrows out on Finn's shoulder.

How was it Kurt's fault? Thanks to the spiked punch, it seemed to be taking Finn longer than usual to process everything. Then, realization hit the jock like a ton of bricks. Blaine's having caught him and Kurt kissing... Surely that had been worked out? It had happened weeks ago, and Blaine wouldn't have pretended that everything was all right for that long... Would he? "It's not your fault, Kurt," Finn whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. "It's mine... If I hadn't been so damned stupid... Please, don't blame yourself..."

Kurt just shook his head. It was the only thing that made sense, and a much as he wanted to lay all the blame on Finn, he couldn't. He shuddered. "I can't stop... stop seeing..." It was like a nightmare, honestly. A horrible nightmare that he hoped he would wake up from soon.

"Shh... Close your eyes, and concentrate on going home," Finn soothed, wishing more than anything else in the world that he could take Kurt's pain away. Riding through the Halloween night, Finn simply held his stepbrother and rocked back and forth in the seat. When the cab stopped, he glanced over at the house to find that Burt and his mother were still out for the evening. "C'mon, let's get you inside." Finn paid the driver, then hobbled as best as he could on his crutches to his room. He urged Kurt down on the bed, with no other intention than to comfort him. "You're not going to be alone tonight. No arguments either; you've got me."

Kurt nodded, grateful for Finn's willingness to stay by his side. The truth was that he didn't think that he could handle the dark alone. He reached a hand out to Finn. "Thank you." The fact that he was still in his costume struck Kurt a moment later, and he looked down at himself, staring hard for a minute. "I look like an idiot," he finally decided, sighing. "God, why did I think this was a good idea?" Kurt sat up and fidgeted with the skirt before beginning to unstrap himself from the shoes. "Ridiculous."

"No, it's not," Finn protested, reaching out to gently squeeze Kurt's shoulder. "You look amazing, Kurt... Beautiful..." Still muzzy from the potent Halloween drink, he found himself overwhelmed by the desire to take Kurt back into his arms and kiss every last bit of his stepbrother's heartache away. "Kurt..." Finn straightened with a groan. "...I'm an idiot for even suggesting this, but... You should really try and talk to Blaine tomorrow." He couldn't believe what he was suggesting. "Don't get me wrong; I want to tell you to forget about him, and be with me... But, I know how much he means to you, and... Well, you should find out what happened... that's all."

Kurt swallowed hard. Even the thought of trying to face Blaine after what he'd seen made him feel queasy. //And will it be easier to put it off until he's sitting next to you in the choir room?// Finally Kurt nodded. "You're right. I know you're right." Kurt swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'll be right back. I have to get out of this." He felt like a fool, and being dressed to match Blaine didn't exactly make it easier not to focus on the other teen. He padded over to his own room and came back a few minutes later, make-up gone and dress replaced with a pair of blue cotton pajamas. Almost shyly, he asked, "Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean... I don't... don't have to stay here with you."

//Damn...// Kurt looked incredible standing there vulnerable in his pajamas. Finn gaped openly at him for what seemed like an eternity, fighting his desire for his stepbrother with every last ounce of his willpower. He swallowed hard, sighed and then gestured Kurt forward. "Of course it's okay," Finn insisted, patting the bed invitingly. "Didn't I say no arguments? You're staying with me tonight." He smiled softly, adding, "I know I'm not big on keeping promises these days, but I'll do my best to control myself."

"Oh, Finn, you... you're not the only one who's been making a mess of things lately," Kurt assured as he climbed into the bed and threw himself back onto some pillows. He paused and searched his stepbrother's face. "You don't have to tell me, especially not when you're probably still only remembering part of your own name, but... want to tell me about your new... friend?"

Finn sighed contentedly; it felt absolutely wonderful having Kurt laying beside him. His good arm snaked around his stepbrother's slender waist, drawing him in close even as Finn felt an uncomfortable pang at the mention of Ryan. "Ryan? We met at the hospital," he replied after a moment's hesitation. "He reminds me so much of you..." Finn winced. "...Is that wrong? That I like him because he's so much like you?"

Kurt settled his head in once more against Finn's shoulder and thought about that. "Not wrong, no... a little strange," he confessed in the same hesitant tone. Wanting to ask before he thought better of it, Kurt asked, "Is it better? With... with Ryan, is it better because he's more, er..." Kurt cast about for a way to put it that didn't involve the words "slut" or "trash" because his catty nature supplied both terms quickly enough at the thought of the two of them together. "Because he's willing to do more?"

"No, god... Kurt, no..." How could he make Kurt understand? Finn exhaled deeply, desperate to reassure his stepbrother. "Ryan, he... he can never be you... When we were together at the party..." He grimaced, not wanting to refresh Kurt's memory of finding Blaine and Damien together. "...I was drunk out of my mind. I..." Finn hesitated, warmth rising from his neck as he almost bashfully explained, "...thought he was you. I didn't see him at all, I kept seeing you..."

Kurt was glad that his face was buried against Finn's shoulder because he would have died of embarrassment otherwise. He was in for a penny, so it seemed like the time to go in for a pound. "But whether he reminded you of me or not... he... obviously he was willing to... um..." Realizing he was tipping his hand, Kurt confessed, "I, uh, saw a little bit of what happened." He continued on quickly before Finn could protest, "He was willing to do things I wasn't. And... obviously Damien... was too. Maybe," he ventured quietly, "Blaine just got tired of waiting."

Finn tipped Kurt's chin up with his finger and, meeting his eyes, told him with feeling, "Kurt, you're worth waiting for." He ached to kiss his stepbrother, to make him believe he was more special than anyone else in the world... "I wouldn't have been with Ryan tonight if I wasn't wasted out of my mind. I kept seeing your face instead of his, and... I thought it was you doing all those things to me..." He gave a self-deprecating chuckle, "Still being stupid, huh? Chasing after you when you're in love with someone else..." Finn sighed, "Listen Kurt, I'm not defending Blaine... But, maybe that punch had the same effect on him... and he didn't know it wasn't you?"

Kurt arched an eyebrow and leveled Finn with his most withering gaze. "Because all guys with so many piercings look alike," he observed dryly. But Finn did have a point. Blaine had probably been drunk or well on his way to it. Maybe something had happened and... He honestly couldn't think of anything that would explain away something like that. Kurt groaned and lay his head back down on Finn's shoulder. "Maybe," he allowed somewhat stiffly. A muffled buzz greeted his ears, and Kurt glanced over at Finn's nightstand. "Your phone. Maybe your new boyfriend," he added, trying to tease, to be lighthearted, to do anything to drag his mind away from Blaine.

"He's *not* my boyfriend," Finn countered, narrowing his gaze at Kurt meaningfully. He didn't actually know what Ryan was to him. A friend? A fuck buddy? A substitute for Kurt? The insistent buzzing of the phone cut through his thoughts, and Finn grimaced at the device vibrating away on the nightstand. "Whoever it is, they can wait," he decided. "Taking care of you's more important to me than a damn phone call." He pressed another soft kiss to the top of Kurt's head, forcing himself not to let the contact linger.

Kurt couldn't help smiling at that. He knew that the situation was not in the slightest bit easy for Finn, and the fact that the other teen was willing to work so hard to keep himself in check meant the world. "Alright, he's not," Kurt agreed amiably. "I wonder if Mercedes managed to make any headway with the guy she'd painted a target on last night. She looked stunning if I do say so myself." It was so much easier talking about anyone's love life but his own. Part of him also wanted to ask Finn why he'd felt the need to get completely smashed, but since he already knew the answer, he cautioned, "Be sure you're hydrated. If you spend all morning puking your guts out, I think dad and Carol might catch on."

As noble as Finn wanted to be for his stepbrother, his body threatened to betray him at every slight shift of Kurt's warm frame. He felt wonderful; even through the pajamas Finn marveled at the silky smoothness of Kurt's skin. He ached to touch him, hungered to taste him... //I can't... I just can't...// Biting back a deep groan, which sounded more like a cough, Finn latched onto Kurt's train of thought as a way to distract himself. "I will... and thanks for worrying about me." Although it only seemed to make matters worse, he continued inhaling the sweet scent of Kurt's hair. "Honestly? I really didn't mean to get smashed again," he explained, not wanting the countertenor to think the worst of him. "Whoever spiked that punch must have dumped their whole liquor supply in the bowl."

"It smelled like sewage with rubbing alcohol in it," Kurt agreed, wrinkling his nose. "I agreed to be the designated driver for a reason. It felt good at first, but... well, obviously there's the puking, but also... it's just... I don't like feeling like I'm not me or that I might do something I wouldn't do. If I do something, I want to know why. I want to remember it." He shifted away a little so that he could look down at Finn. Though he didn't want to lecture, he couldn't help but worry. He couldn't help wanting Finn to be happy and healthy and cared for. "When my dad gave me The Talk - aside from it being awkward and awful - he told me that I shouldn't 'throw myself around,' that I mattered. Finn, you matter too. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what you want with who you want, but just... you can find someone who's right for you, not just someone who's there."

"I love you, Kurt. I love you so much I can't see... or think..." Saltwater stung his cheeks as he struggled to sit up. "I want you more than anything or anyone," he continued, pouring out his heart even if it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference. "If I only knew how I really felt back then... You wouldn't be hurting now." Finn's hand trembled as he reached out to tenderly cup Kurt's cheek. "You'd be with me... and I'd never let you go... never..."

Kurt swallowed hard, finding it difficult around the lump that had formed. He couldn't help thinking that Finn wasn't wrong. In the least. He'd thought it once or twice himself, that if things had been different, that if he'd never gone to Dalton... "I know," he answered with a sigh. "But you didn't. You were happy with Quinn and then with Rachel, and there's nothing wrong with that. I may have hated it at the time, but I wanted you to be happy."

A hint of a smile flickered across Kurt's face. "Maybe not as happy as you would have been with me, but happy. Things are different now. It would be easier if I could say that I don't feel a thing for you. I do. You know I do. I always have. I just... I... I honestly love Blaine. I do. I feel like I can't breathe when I think about... about earlier, but... I don't know what that means. I'm not going to do anything that might make things worse than they already are." He reached up and took the hand on his cheek into his own, squeezing it. "Not for either of us."

Finn gave a shuddering sigh and nodded. Feeling even more foolish for crying, he sniffled and blinked back tears that still threatened to fall. "I understand, I really do..." he murmured, relishing the precious moment of Kurt grasping his hand. "You and Blaine have something amazing... Whatever happened tonight, you have to try and work things out..." A gentle smile tugged at his mouth, and Finn added sweetly, "... If they don't... just remember I'll always be here... waiting?"

Kurt wanted to tell him not to wait, to be happy, but instead he just smiled. "I won't forget," he agreed firmly. Finn was still half drunk and more emotional than Kurt was used to seeing him. Obviously he wasn't the only one in need of a little comfort. Maybe they couldn't offer one another precisely what the other needed, but it was close enough. "You need sleep. So do I. I have a feeling the morning's going to be more than slightly unpleasant for both of us even if it's for very different reasons." He gently urged Finn to lie down and then stretched out next to him on his side. "Now sleep before dad and Carol get home. I do not want a repeat of New Year's Eve. I can live the rest of my life without ever, ever hearing that again."

"Okay, yeah... sleep sounds good," Finn agreed, settling back into bed and draping his uninjured arm protectively around Kurt again. He almost dreaded to think of morning arriving and his stepbrother leaving his side. What would tomorrow bring? Would Kurt and Blaine reconcile? Finn hated to admit it, but he hoped so for Kurt's sake. The pain in the other boy's eyes was too much to bear. He wanted to see that replaced with the familiar sparkling happiness Finn loved so much. He leaned in close, whispering, "If you need me, I'm here..."

Kurt smiled and settled comfortably into the pillows. It was surprising how comfortable he felt, actually. It should have been awkward, at least on some level. Instead he felt entirely at ease. "That goes both ways, you know. Really." Even if it was strange talking about Ryan, Kurt didn't want his stepbrother thinking for a second that they couldn't talk, that he wouldn't help. He was eager to do whatever he could to mend things between them. They'd come so far, and he wasn't letting go of either of the men in his life without a fight.