Feb. 8, 2012, 9:02 a.m.
Heir of December: Chapter 5
T - Words: 2,094 - Last Updated: Feb 08, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Dec 31, 2011 - Updated: Feb 08, 2012 619 0 0 0 0
“Except for family, of course... and the court physician,” Kurt added in an strange tone. His thoughts had strayed only rarely from Blaine since his eyes first opened, though the two of them had said not a word to one another.
Any oddity was lost on Finn, who beamed at the observation. “Right! He was really something. I always thought the guy was sort of creepy to be honest. The hood and, well, him being sort of mean and everything, but he doesn’t wear the hood much anymore, and he did a good job.” Nodding to himself, the prince added, “He saved you.”
Kurt bristled at the suggestion. “You saved me. He mixed a few things together, but you risked your life. I don’t really know how to thank you for it.” He felt a swell of emotion that he’d mostly suppressed bubbling to the surface. It was difficult not to be a bit in love with Finn, and the daring rescue he’d executed had stirred those feelings with new force.
“You’re my brother! What else would I do?” The taller man reached out to give Kurt’s arm a warm squeeze before standing from his perch. “Do you need anything? Mom won’t stop asking me. She’s worried about you, and with all the planning with the lady Quinn here and keeping everyone entertained... it’s driving her crazy not being here with you.”
“No... honestly, nothing. I wish she wouldn’t worry. I’ll be perfectly alright.” King William had even put in an appearance to see that his son was well. What surprised Kurt most about the visit was the fact that the king had even come close to admitting he was wrong not to listen to his son about the poison. When asked about what he had seen to prompt the warning, Kurt protested that his memory was foggy about the entire night and begged for rest before he pushed to recall things more clearly. He still had no idea what he wanted to do, and it didn’t help that the court physician remained one of the few people at court who had not set foot in his room since affirming that he was no longer at death’s door. “Actually, would you... if you could fetch the physician? I would like to thank him in person.”
Finn nodded at once, beaming his approval of the idea. “I’ll send him up. I’m sure he’ll be happy you’re looking so much better.” The taller man’s smile faltered slightly. “He was really worried.”
The smile that Kurt offered was wavering at best, but Finn didn’t notice. Kurt sighed as his brother left, and he found himself contemplating what he would say to Blaine only to realize it was more about what Blaine might say to him. Could he say anything that would make it all make sense? Make it all okay?
The door opening broke into Kurt’s thoughts, and Blaine stepped in. He looked absolutely ragged, his curls in utter disarray and deep circles beneath his eyes. Looking almost as ill as Kurt himself, the man stepped closed the door to give them some small sense of privacy. He took only a few steps into the room. “I had expected guards to have come by now.”
The words hung awkwardly in the air for several moments before the prince could find a proper response. “No.” Kurt fidgeted momentarily with the heavily embroidered comforter draped across his lap. “I wanted to know why. I still want to know why. I told everyone that I’ve been having trouble recalling anything from that night.” When Blaine still seemed stuck, frozen by his own indecision, Kurt gestured for him to sit down. “I want to hear everything from you. You promised me an explanation, and I need it.” As far gone as he’d been, Blaine’s rough voice and desperate pleas had stuck with him through the heavy sleep and into his waking world.Those as much as anything had held his tongue fast.
Blaine shuddered as if the very idea made him ill but sat down on the edge of the bed just the same. He searched Kurt’s face and found a guarded sort of curiosity there. It hurt to feel the distance between them, hurt even moreso when he knew he was the cause. “I never wanted to hurt Prince Finn,” he finally offered. Blaine averted his eyes and added more quietly, “I had intended to kill the king.”
The words were enough to startle Kurt into gasping. It wasn’t that he thought of his father as so likable a man that no one could ever want him dead. It was that he had never thought of Blaine as a man who would willfully try to kill someone. Hearing the words meant that any justifications he’d tried to make up in his own mind were false. It had been no accident, save for an error of intended victims.
“Do you... want to hear the rest, or shall I... shall I turn myself in? It seems that your brother was kind enough to leave a guard at your door,” Blaine finished in a tone so soft it was almost a whisper.
Kurt swallowed. He should, of course, insist upon it. Blaine deserved to be punished for so abhorrent an act. Anyone would, and yet the thought of seeing Blaine dragged into the courtyard and hung for the crime made him feel sick all over again. “No,” Kurt answered before he could stop himself. “No, please... continue. If I recall, you promised to tell me everything.”
“He killed my father and my brother. Not that anyone would call it that,” Blaine allowed, visibly shaken as he looked at the floor and slowly, haltingly began to relate a story he’d never told anyone before. “They were sentenced. All within the law. They used magic. It had been outlawed since your father’s father sat on the throne, and they did it anyway, and they were... they were hung. In the square. In front of everyone. In front of me.” After a moment more to swallow the tears that rose at the memory, Blaine finally spoke again, “There was no evidence against me, and so I was allowed to stay at court. I professed my loyalty to the crown and to Albion and I took my father’s position. I was young, but I had skill enough.”
Kurt remembered dimly when Blaine had taken over the position, recalled talk of the court physician being new, but such things rarely affected him. It was simply another staff change. He had a fever sometime the next spring and had been surprised at first by the new face tending him, but Blaine was just a servant in the household and one who mostly hid from view. He gave it no more thought after that. He had never known that the man who tended him before that was Blaine’s father, and he had certainly never realized he had taken over because his father had been killed, never known that the man who saw to his ills was only a few summers older than he was himself. “I never knew.”
“No.” Blaine’s tone was bitter and laced with anger borne at the injustice of the act and its invisibility to anyone who could have stopped it. “He was just another criminal. If he hadn’t worked here, I doubt that the king would even have known his name. I’m sure he doesn’t remember it now. I’m sure that I would have been hanging alongside them, but my father was careful. He tried to claim the crime was his alone, but a guard had seen my brother using spellwork to heal someone. In the end, that was the only thing they could prove against him. Can you imagine that? He was hanged for healing someone.” Blaine’s voice cracked, and he finally looked up at Kurt. “I owe them something. I owe them their revenge.”
The exchange had been intense already, and Kurt had to steel himself before he found his voice. It struck him that he had never before seen Blaine so naked before him. For once there were no masks or pretense. Walls, yes, as Blaine attempted to hold himself together, but Kurt knew that they were closer in that moment than they’d ever been before in some perverse way. “They would want you to hang, then? After your father fought so hard to spare you, he would want you dead?”
Blaine looked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and glared. His jaw tightened, and he barely grated out, “How dare you-”
“No, how dare you? Your family died protecting you, and you would spit in the face of that sacrifice for something as shallow as revenge. It’s disgusting,” Kurt answered. His own eyes blazed with anger. Blaine might not want to hear the truth but he needed to hear it before things got more out of hand. “You hate my father for killing within the law, but you would murder him in cold blood? You almost killed my brother, who did you no harm. You almost killed me.”
That finally had an impact, and Blaine winced and looked away. His hands twisted on his lap, silently telling the story of his real feelings as the rest of his body remained rigid. “I would never-”
“But you did. You may never have meant to, but you did, Blaine, and that’s something... that you’ll have to live with. It’s something you need to think about. Right now, I have a decision to make. Before I make it, I need to know... can you promise me that this is over? Can you promise me that it will never happen again?” Kurt met Blaine’s gaze without wavering. He looked pale and sickly, but there was a new resolve in his eyes. He knew that he had been foolish and naive. He had created a relationship in his mind with someone he didn’t even know, and the more he learned, the more uncertain Kurt felt about whether they had ever even truly been friends. Friends knew one another far better than he had never known Blaine.
The physician hesitated and then nodded. His head fell forward onto his chest once more. “I promise you. I won’t ask for your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. But I do ask... I ask that you accept that I’m truly sorry.”
Silence hung awkwardly between them for several minutes before Kurt finally decided, “I won’t tell anyone. For now. I don’t know what to do, and I... I won’t make any decisions until I’m sure. Right now I think I need rest.” He waited until Blaine rose from the bed and moved to exit the room before calling out, “I don’t think I’ll need anymore lessons.” He managed to hold himself together until the door closed and then rolled over, burying his face in the pillow and sobbing.
************
Blaine kept his distance. He stayed back, he did his work, and that was all. The hooded cloaks he had foregone at Kurt’s request returned as Blaine tried to blend into the background. He hadn’t realized how much he’d come to rely on seeing Kurt every day until the prince was gone entirely from his routine. He felt the ache all the more keenly because he still saw Kurt almost every day. Instead of talking with the prince, he watched him. He watched Kurt grow strong again under the constant watch of either his brother or one of the knights, and though there was a constant haunted look on his face during quieter moments, Kurt seemed happy.
Blaine saw him most often with Finn as the younger prince fought to bring his brother out of his shell once more. It hurt seeing Kurt constantly at someone else’s side, especially when he looked so content. It hurt more when he realized the way the prince looked at Finn when he thought no one else saw. There was more than friendship there and more than brotherly affection. Kurt was in love, and Blaine could feel his heart breaking.