Chapter Four

Somehow, after their lengthy and dramatic talk over Skype, Blaine and Kurt got to the point where they were back to their original plan. To go through their date, enjoy their time together, however fleeting it may feel. Then hopefully, by the end of the day, they'd try to figure out what their next move would be. As long as that move didn't gravitate anywhere near them wanting to get too physical. It had taken a lot more assurance and promises to make them both believe they would honour that promise because sex wasn't the answer, which they knew at least. Gone were any anxieties about what to wear, instead all their powers focused on enjoying their date together, even with a ticking time bomb over their heads. Kurt this time chose to wait inside, allowing Blaine the new experience of ringing the door and Kurt in turn greeting him. But as the minutes neared, Kurt's mind was distracted and in his weakened state, he convinced himself his choice of clothing wasn't appropriate at all, and that one thought horrified him and sent him running back to his room.

Blaine got out of his car and took a deep breath, Kurt was waiting on the other side, the second he knocked their second date would start and in turn, their last day together. No matter how positive a person Blaine was overall, even he was human, it was very hard to walk up to that door and face the music. But once he thought of Kurt's handsome smiling face, he felt his courage begin to return. He launched his feet forward, increasing speed with every step until he arrived at the looming entrance to the Hummel house and knocked. But nothing happened, the door didn't immediately open, Kurt didn't appear. Blaine frowned and tried the doorbell instead, still nothing. Just when Blaine was about to resort to calling Kurt, he heard a crash and the door swung open without warning and a frazzled Kurt Hummel almost fell through and at Blaine, who caught him just in time.

"Kurt! What's wrong?" Blaine shouted in surprise as he regained his balance and managed to keep them from toppling over.

"I'm sorry! At first I was so stressed I didn't care about what I'd wear. But then I saw myself in the mirror and to my horror, it was all-wrong! It was the first time I had made a coordinated disaster and before I knew it, I was having a full blown panic attack!" Kurt rambled at an inhuman pace.

Blaine couldn't help it but he began to laugh from Kurt's adorable antics. "Kurt calm down! This is no reason to go all a-wall for!" Blaine assured him.

Kurt rolled his eyes in annoyance, "For me it is, Blaine: fashion is how I express myself!" Kurt muttered, not feeling any better, despite Blaine's attempts to calm him down.

"Okay well, if you want my honest opinion, turn around, work it for me." Blaine said with a smirk.

Kurt normally would have turned down such a request, but then, he loved the chance to strut his stuff, especially to such a handsome audience, almost as much as he loved makeovers. So he just gave Blaine a playful smile and turned on a rare side of him, his model mode. Snapped into the zone, Kurt turned on his heel, snapped his head back and walked runway style back into the house, only to walk through the door a second later, giving Blaine a perfectly timed look at his money maker and what was covering it.

During all this, Blaine was far too distracted by Kurt's sexual energy to even remember his job was to look at his clothes, not his body, or his perfect ass. Thus ruining his whole chance to be useful to Kurt and to be charmingly playful with his verdict. "Um... Well Kurt, that proves it. Whatever you wear, or at least whatever you chose to dress in. Will be perfect with a body like yours underneath." Blaine declared with a sheepish grin. Waiting for the response and even after knowing Kurt for only three days, he had a feeling he wouldn't be impressed.

He wasn't, though secretly Kurt was in delusional bliss from having received such a comment from Blaine. Instead he just shook his head at Blaine and pulled him through the front door and inside, leading him by the hand back to his bedroom. Grumbling as they went, Kurt pushed him through the door and walked over to his closet, taking off his blazer jacket and putting it back on the hanger. "What is the point of finally having someone who's gay at my arsenal if they can't give me fashion tips?" Kurt muttered in frustration.

Blaine for once didn't make any playful comments, not because he was offended, no, Kurt was adorable as usual, but he could tell, there was a bigger reason for Kurt's current mood. "Kurt... this isn't about clothes and we both know it." he pointed out.

Kurt turned around to look at Blaine and he just felt like giving up, talking was good and healthy but in the end, sometimes it was useless against emotion. "I..." Kurt started but he stopped after the first word, it was no use, he was beginning to spiral downwards into despair. "I know we talked about it and we're both determined to go on our date... but..."

Blaine walked forward to Kurt and took hold of his right hand, kissing it lightly, then he leaned in and kissed him on the lips, as if he was trying to transfer all of his courage to Kurt, to give him a reason why they had to go through with it, why they deserved one more day. "I'm not giving you up, not yet, not before you get on that fucking plane." Blaine told him softly.

"This is starting to sound like a classic movie." Kurt laughed awkwardly.

"Which you adore." Blaine commented.

"I do... I'm sorry I'm like this." Kurt sighed.

"Don't be, I already had my moment of freaking out, remember? We've had enough angst for one day, I think we both deserve some happiness, no matter how short it will be." Blaine said with a small smile.

"Look at us, already supporting each other... we need to focus on the positive... we have far more to be grateful for than to get depressed over." Kurt added.

"And to top it off we're young and bound to make mistakes, but sometimes they're needed."

"If you're young and this wise Blaine, I hate to think what you'll be like when you're old!" Kurt muttered with amusement.

"Now you're really getting ahead of yourself." Blaine teased.

Kurt laughed and went back to his closet, where he had brought out all the clothing he had packed for his visit. He finally chose a less flashy but still flattering navy blazer and held it up to Blaine, who this time did his job. He came over, felt the fabric and grinned at Kurt, giving it his nod of approval. "Let me." he said politely, holding out the jacket to help Kurt maneuver his arms into the sleeves and pull it over his shoulders. Blaine walked around as he adjusted the front lapel and he beamed at Kurt, who began to blush. To seal the deal and really let Kurt know he liked how he was dressed, he suddenly kissed him and this time, Kurt forgot about fashion all together. "I'd suggest we skip the date and keep doing this... but then, I've come up with something really good." Kurt whispered between their kisses.

"Better than making out on your bed?" Blaine murmured.

"Better no, but wiser, yes." Kurt answered.

"Message received and libido reigned back in." Blaine said as he stepped back from Kurt with a cheeky smile.

Kurt grinned at him and they walked hand in hand out of Kurt's room, down the hall and out of the house and towards Blaine's car. "I really wish I could keep this a real surprise but considering you're the one driving... yeah, that's not possible. To the local library, my good man, and drive carefully." Kurt commented.

"The library..." Blaine began to say in surprise, but when he glanced over at Kurt through the corner of his eyes, he saw Kurt glare and him and that look, Blaine already knew it meant there was no use in talking anymore. "Okay, the chauffeur is shutting up." Blaine commented.

"I have half a mind to make you wait until we get there to start explaining why you're driving us to the library of all places... but we need time to prepare." Kurt began to explain.

"You have me interested now."

"Just as I knew I would, I'll have you know that Lima's land of books has a very interesting piece of furniture, or entertainment actually. In fact I'm surprised you don't already know, it's so you. But there's a piano there, in the music section, one people are allowed to play." Kurt explained.

"Are you serious, man I wish I had known! But a piano in a library? Aren't you supposed to be quiet there?" Blaine had to mention.

"Yes the irony is noted but I could care less about that. I remembered Rachel telling me she ended up sharing a duet with a guy there once and. I thought it would be right up our alley. Our little car duet proved our voices fit together and I must admit I want to experiment further on that front. But before you get all dapper and worry about us interrupting all the readers, I called the front desk and well... one thing lead to another and we have it booked for the afternoon. Think of it as an impromptu mini concert... mind you, the only ones who might be there are nerds and homeless but really, it's all for our benefit." Kurt rambled, finally pausing to take a long breath. He waited for Blaine's response but got none, but Kurt could see him grinning away from ear to ear. "So... what do you say? They've already put a note up on the bulletin board Blaine..." Kurt edged on.

Blaine somehow made himself keep his eyes on the road, but his smile was easy to see in his handsome profile. "Kurt, you had me at piano."

"Which I know you can play since I strategically asked you about your musical talents last night." Kurt added proudly.

"Oh right, you did, very crafty Kurt Hummel."

"I try." Kurt stated sounding like a holiday starlit from older, classier times.

"So what's the game plan here? You said we'd need time for preparation?" Blaine asked.

"The plan is for us to hit the sheet music section, where the piano is located. Spend some time finding songs we want to perform and sing them, simple as that. I even brought a few number possibilities I'd love us to sing together... I think this could be really fun. After our concert, I thought we could grab some dinner to go and go to your place this time. If you don't mind being a host and when our meal's over, we can get to that long overdue talk..." Kurt said.

Blaine finally got the chance to turn his attention off the road and to Kurt as he pulled into a parking spot and parked the car. "You sure know how to plan an evening Kurt, it's wonderful. Because for me, it's always been easier to sing my feelings than speak them. So if we get the chance to sing together and do some solos, I hope, maybe that will help the talking portion of our date along."

"Shall we? Our audience awaits us, well maybe..." Kurt said as he ended up opening the car to his door before Blaine could, winking at him.

"Already denying me that job huh?" Blaine teased as he got out of the car.

"Nonsense Blaine, you're worth so much more." Kurt assured him as Kurt walked over to Blaine and took hold of his hand, and they walked towards the library together. Once they made their way through the front doors Kurt stopped at the front desk, to let the workers there know they had arrived and the show would begin on schedule. Which, Blaine learned was an hour away and then he let Kurt lead him over to the sheet music second by the hand. "Why the delay?" Blaine asked.

"We need time to find our music and squeeze in some warm up before hand. Not that I don't think we couldn't manage such a performance without any preparation, but it's nice to have when you have the time." Kurt explained.

"Do we have the time?" Blaine asked as he looked playfully at Kurt from his repeated questions.

"This is the only thing we're doing before we go to your place, what do you think?" Kurt answered smartly, turning the reply into a question.

"I think I want to sing with you again." Blaine chuckled.

"With that answer covered, let's tackle the question of what we'll sing next."

Their search for that answer turned out to be very enjoyable, starting with Kurt and Blaine splitting up to choose a number of songs possibilities and to bring their choices to critique together afterwards. They both agreed choosing songs that would work best for piano, and songs that the library would approve of. Not that there were many inappropriate songs to be found in their inventory, it was a bit too outdated. But then, what they lacked in recent artist was long made up by the vast amount of show tunes. By the time they had reached that point, there had far too many pages of sheet music and it was noticeable right away.

"Okay, we have way too many songs for the amount of time we have to sing..." Blaine stated.

"Is that really all that surprising? Now if it's okay, I brought along a song for us to sing for the closing number... so you can choose our opening act." Kurt offered.

"How kind of you and I know the perfect song." Blaine replied as he handed Kurt one book of sheet music in particular. Kurt took it from him gently and Blaine had the pleasure to see Kurt's reaction change from surprise to amusement when he read the song title.

"John Lennon, nice one, Blaine. And 'Imagine' happens to be one my all time favourites of his." Kurt said in approval.

"Can I see what you brought for the closing number?" Blaine requested.

Kurt nodded and brought the piece of sheet music out from his book-bag and handed it to Blaine. "Now I know it's probably not needed to be said Blaine. But the lyrics of this song don't pertain to us... but even if they don't, well... I thought they could be some words we could remember and look back on, if the need arises. Which naturally I hope it doesn't but still..." Kurt began to sputter off in defense.

Blaine grinned at Kurt; "You're cute when you get all flustered. You're right though, it's not necessary. I'm sure if we tried hard enough almost every song in the world could to relate to a point in our lives. That hardly matters, sometimes, we sing because we want to, not to give some hidden message." Blaine replied. Blaine then turned his attention to the song and his grin got even wider at the reveal. "Oh I remember this song! Hmm I see why you felt the need for a disclaimer, but we so have to sing this, it's Elton John the piano was made for him." Blaine insisted.

"More like it's the other way around, but I'm glad you approve." Kurt teased.

"The title is 'Friends Never Say Goodbye' so how could I argue with that?"

With the opening and closing numbers determined, what was left were the song to fit in between. As they worked their time slot and the amount of songs that could fit, they broke it down to playing nine songs in all, split up between short breaks after three in a row. Wanting to keep things even and thus equal for both singers, aside from Blaine having to play the piano for each number, they began to divvy each song up. Three of which would be duets, leaving them each three solos, which they would split between to give their voices a moment to rest. (Such as, duet-solo-solo, duet-solo-duet and solo-solo-duet). Kurt found the idea of singing so many songs in one sprint refreshing and very welcome, considering who his duet partner was. No more sitting on the sidelines watching all the kids in glee club pair up and swap partners, singing love songs to one another. It was Kurt's turn and he was more than ready, willing and able to get his fair share at long last. Finally they had their set list and Kurt looked over what they had decided on.

"Okay let's see here, so the show starts off with our duet of 'Imagine' by John Lennon, then I take over with 'From a Distance' by Bette Midler, then you'll finish the first run with 'Just Haven't Met You Yet' by Michael Buble." Kurt began.

Blaine nodded and took the sheet from Kurt to continue. "And after our short intermission we come back to sing 'You and I' by Queen. Then it's back to me with 'Thank you for the Music' by Abba, and you're singing the classic 80s love ballad 'When I Look into Your Eyes' by Fire House. Then another break..." Blaine continued.

"To bring us to our last three, were you sing what I know will be a phenomenal rendition of 'Take it All' by Adele and I try to follow with 'I Happen to Like New York' from The New Yorkers and then finally..." Kurt said as he looked at Blaine with a smirk, urging him to finish.

"Friends Never Say Goodbye by Elton John, wow, now that's what I call a set list." Blaine beamed.

"I hope the library patents of Lima are ready for our raw talent." Kurt added with a witty grin.

"Should we comment on how even when we don't try most of the songs still have context?" Blaine asked.

"Not yet, let's save that for the future." Kurt suggested. __________________________________________________________________________

The pair spent the remainder of their hour before the show, figuring out what parts they'd sing for their three duets, during which Blaine began to practice playing some of the music on the piano and he was relieved to see he did it half decently. Kurt listened as Blaine started the intro for Imagine and he closed his eyes as Blaine began to sing the first part, as a warm up. But when it was Kurt's turn to take over, when Blaine looked up to watch him, he saw tears running down the young man' s face instead. Concern washed through Blaine's body as he stood up instantly and hovered over Kurt.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

Kurt hadn't expected he'd nearly break down in a library over Blaine singing a few lines of a song in warm up, but here he was, fighting back more tears. He sighed, and then Blaine handed him a tissue, standing next to him with silent support. Kurt glanced around, the place was pretty empty, but he didn't feel anymore at ease to open up at such a public place. But if he kept it bottled up he'd risk ruining their last full day together. "I don't know... or no, I do, just it's so many things I can't begin to explain what they are... hearing your voice, brought this out. I wish the lyrics John Lennon sings in Imagine were true... but just hearing that word. Made me begin to imagine what it would be like if..." Kurt began to explain, but he shuddered as he choked up with emotion.

The only reason Blaine was able to hold himself together, and just barely, was because the part of him that needed to be a giver, took over. Blaine found it very easy to be strong for others; it was when it was for himself that he faltered. "Do you want to go?" he offered.

Kurt shook his head; it was as if Blaine knew by some instinct the very thing to bring back his inner strength. Running was never an option, giving into despair would only bring on regret and more pain. Instead Kurt took a deep breath, his lips quivering and he just looked to the positive side of things, hope wasn't weakness. "No." he whispered. "I'm honestly sick of angst." Kurt muttered.

Blaine suddenly began to laugh and again it was the right thing to do, Kurt's tears of anguish turned to amusement as they both vented out all their stress in a far more enjoyable way. By the end of it, they had attracted a few curious by-standers, but they were ignored completely. Blaine wished they weren't there though, because he wanted to hold Kurt, but given their still fragile hearts, it probably wouldn't be a wise move. "Feel any better? Because I know I do."

Kurt nodded and allowed himself to touch Blaine's shoulder for a moment and squeezed lightly. "Yes, the show must go on." Kurt replied.

"Actually that's brilliant, Kurt!" Blaine declared.

"Come again?" Kurt asked in confusion.

"Let the performers in us take over, we're well seasoned show choir pros after all. I think once we're in front of an audience, however small, we'll pull through. If needed, just picture us on stage with a crowd full of anxious on-lookers." Blaine suggested.

"It would be better to imagine that." Kurt admitted sheepishly, already feeling slightly embarrassed about his moment of weakness.

Blaine picked up on that right away and he gave Kurt the best assuring smile he could, the adoration on his handsome face being easy to notice, for everyone in the room. In fact it did get noticed and the whole romantic mood was ruined.

"Stupid fags." a voice grumbled as a guy fled the scene.

Kurt glared at him when he left, but he felt no urge to comment this time, because he wasn't worth the effort. But the wake up call brought Kurt back fully and he just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Why was he even in the sheet music area, then?" Kurt commented.

"I have no idea and I hardly care to theorize, isn't it almost time?" Blaine asked, putting the laps in the chemistry behind them.

Kurt brought out his phone and nodded in confirmation, "Why yes it is and... Blaine look!?" Kurt whispered in surprise.

Blaine looked over to where Kurt was pointing to and he grinned, during their distraction the absent audience had started to fill the room. Various fold up chairs where brought out by the staff and a good number began to be claimed. As Kurt and Blaine shared excited looks, by the time their show was suppose to begin, there was close to a dozen people waiting. It might not have been a theatre full of die hard fans, but for Lima, and for it being a last-minute mini-concert at a local library, it was quite impressive, at least by Blaine and Kurt's judgment.

Blaine came to sit down in front of the piano in preparation, leaving Kurt to address the crowd and he stepped up to the plate. "Well, this is quite a turn out, thank you for coming. I'm Kurt Hummel, one of the members of the New Directions, who won Nationals last year, of William McKinley, before I graduated... Anyway, I have the pleasure of singing with Blaine Anderson of the Dalton Academy Warblers today. So just sit back and relax and hopefully, you'll all enjoy the show." Kurt told everyone.

There was no cheer of excitement or applause, but no one suddenly got up to leave, so they took that as their cue to start. Blaine did just that by once more starting to play the intro to Imagine and this time, Kurt was ready and knew there was no risk of breaking down. Like Blaine had suggested, the instant the music started Kurt let the professional in him take over. He used everything he had learned in Nyada so far to his benefit and it only strengthen his control till he was a force to be reckoned with, stage fright had nothing on him.


Imagine there's no heavenr
It's easy if you try
No hell below
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Kurt took over with the second verse and no tears were visible.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

When Blaine took the next verse, he felt himself slip a little, from Kurt's voice, but he held it together, somehow.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

When it was Kurt's final solo part, they both allowed themselves to look at each other, but even then, they kept going.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

Combining their voices for the last part, using all their talent to get it a big finish.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

By the end of it, it was the audience's turn to show how they had been affected and the room filled with applause. They hadn't brought the house down, but for their venue, it was good enough, and Kurt and Blaine stood to give quick bows in gratitude.

The rest of the event went rapidly by, which was the case for the duo's time together. Until their final song, another duet had arrived and this time, neither of them knew if they could keep their lucky streak going till the very end. But there was no use worrying over it; there was no time, per usual.

"Wow, this has been amazing everyone, thanks so much for being here." Blaine told the crowd, which had changed somewhat, a few people had left, but others had arrived, so the numbers were about the same. Blaine began to play on the piano, plucking the ivory keys with a few simple notes, with Kurt leaning on the piano at his side, smiling down at him. "Now this final song, some of you might not know. It's by Elton John and from the soundtrack to the animated movie, the Road to El Dorado. I hope it will be a fitting closing number." Blaine explained as he started the intro.

There isn't much I haven't shared
With you along the road
And through it all there'd always be
Tomorrow's episode
Suddenly that isn't true
There's another avenue
Beckoning, the great divide

Ask no questions; take no side
Who's to say who's right or wrong
Whose course is braver run?
Still we are have always been, will ever be, as one

After Kurt sang the first verse, Blaine took over for the second.

What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I'll lose
But if I started over I know I would choose
The same joy, the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say

Leaving the rest for them to sing together.

Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye

Suddenly that isn't true
There's another avenue
Beckoning, the great divide
I would choose
The same joy, the same sadness each step of the way

That fought me and taught me that friends never say

Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye

By the end of their emotional finale, Blaine and Kurt saw the tears welling up in their eyes and they just smiled at each other. But soon their attention was brought in front of them, when by some miracle, they were treated to a standing ovation, right there in Lima Ohio, amount a sea of books and people trying to escape the cold. Kurt laughed happily, he wondered if when he found his way on a Broadway stage, after his first performance, if he'd feel the same rush of happiness and he wasn't sure the moment could be topped and he almost hoped, for a while, nothing would.

Blaine sighed with content as he brought out a tissue and dabbed the corner of his eyes lightly. He leaned into close to Kurt, so he could bring his mouth to his ear. "Thank you, Kurt." he whispered.

Kurt smiled back at Blaine, not giving away his true feelings to anyone, aside from the man next to him. "My pleasure." he replied. _________________________________________________________________________

It was finally time to face the music, after they had sung their hearts out, which was ironic, but not very comforting. But Kurt and Blaine put a brave face on as they stepped inside Blaine's house, with a bag full of packed up dinner. Blaine decided to let them have one more lull before things needed to get heavy by giving Kurt a quick tour of his house. Which was empty, for once, and Blaine was relieved, not that he felt the need to hide Kurt from his parents, or vice versa, no, it would just be something else to prolong the inevitable, which they didn't need. Blaine and Kurt decided to just eat in Blaine's bedroom, since they had picked up an easy dinner. Blaine led Kurt into his room and watched as Kurt inspected it, giving Blaine a chance to bring out their meal.

Kurt returned to Blaine and their almost picnic set up on Blaine's bed and laughed, and they set to eating, allowing it to give them time for any final thoughts. When they were finished, Blaine brought out plastic champagne glasses for their innocent Coke Zero beverage. But Kurt took the offered glass and grinned at Blaine playfully.

"I propose a toast." Blaine announced as he held up his glass in front of Kurt.

"To what?" Kurt asked, but he held his glass out with no hesitation.

"To us, and our journey so far, no matter what will happen next, I have no real regrets. As far as I see it, my wish is coming true."

Kurt gazed at Blaine, his throat getting caught up on emotion, on what that meant, Blaine had wished for love, like Kurt. Did that mean he was admitting he loved Kurt, or thought he did, or was Kurt over thinking things, wanting them to get that complex at the start? If they did love each other already, it could give them the hope they needed. But Kurt couldn't ask Blaine what he meant, or make any confessions himself. Because even when he felt himself falling under Blaine's spell, he was clueless, was it love? Real and honest, or puppy love? Or was Kurt falling in love with the idea of love? He had no answers, so in a way, that was his answer; it was too soon. "To never saying goodbye." Kurt added.

Blaine was taken a back by Kurt's comment, but he clinked their glasses together nonetheless. "Wow... that's quite a promise to live up to." He admitted.

"We don't need to promise it, we can't see in the future and even if we could, I'm not sure I'd want to." Kurt added.

"It might just freak us out even more, because it would just be pieces... little clues..."

"Yeah and uh... even us discussing it isn't helping."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Blaine asked.

"We talk, we have all night, let's use it for all its worth." Kurt said with determination.

But finally having to get to the gritty part wasn't very welcome, but they had run out of time, or rather, they refused to let that happen. Kurt began to think how'd he start to explain his decision to Blaine and make it seem positive. He had a sinking feeling he would have to be the one to say the tough parts, which they needed to keep from going too fast.

Blaine finally slumped down on the bed, feeling heavy with impending things, but he saw the same conflict on Kurt's face and that snapped him into action. He patted the spot next to him on the bed and Kurt crawled over to sit beside Blaine. Blaine placed his hands together in his lap and began to twiddle his thumbs as he placed things together in his mind. "Kurt... there's no easy way to start this off and I get the feeling, this is going to surprise you but... back what you said before, that you were worried you'd end up sounding like the villain, really hit me last night. I've been too blinded by how amazing we've been together to... man up, to use a phrase. Kurt... I don't think we should commit yet, not at this point." Blaine admitted softly.

Kurt heart skipped a beat, even when Kurt had been prepared to say the same thing, it didn't make it any easier to hear. "That we shouldn't become boyfriends?" Kurt asked, needing real clarification.

"Yes, I wish... that it didn't need to go in this direction, but, it's for the best Kurt. We're falling into things too fast, at this rate, I'm almost relieved we've run out of days together."

Kurt stared at Blaine, which almost hurt, not from any rejection it could hold but how true it was. "I'm scared Blaine... on how easily I could fall in love with you. I don't want us to feel pressured in any way... I want our relationship to run its natural course, at a healthy pace. Us being forced apart shouldn't make us jump into things, before we're prepared for it. We keep saying how new this is, for the both of us... that is a big clue. It's a novelty, a new and exciting experience, very intoxicating... which could lead to making bad choices... if we keep going on like this..." Kurt began to explain.

Blaine listened to Kurt intently, but he had to ask one thing. "Do you have regrets? About what we've done so far?" he asked softly. Because by his regard, they had kept things rather safe.

"I'm not talking about anything physical, Blaine, because on that front, we've been decent... all things considered, our hormones most of all. But when it comes to emotions, I know I've been leaving myself too exposed..." Kurt began but then he saw Blaine's worry and he felt like an idiot. "Blaine! You would never hurt me; it's why I've left myself so unguarded. But we could hurt ourselves, with the pain separation would bring." Kurt pointed out.

Blaine nodded, letting the words wash over him. "I don't want the first thing we experience as a real couple... to be finding out that long distance won't work Kurt," he admitted.

Kurt brought his right hand over Blaine's lap and captured Blaine's hand, lacing their fingers together. The simple gesture was nothing compared to what most teens did together, but it was extremely intimate for the both of them. "Blaine, I... I think we need a break, before we even begin." he breathed.

Panic filled through Blaine's mind, no, he couldn't face their distance if he didn't get to hear Kurt's angelic voice. "No." Blaine muttered.

Kurt blinked in surprise as Blaine's grip on his hand tightened. "What?" he asked.

"I'm lot letting you go, Kurt, you're not running away from me."

"Blaine..."

"We need to take a step back, not jump off a cliff, Kurt." Blaine stated.

Kurt sighed, "I'm not saying I want us to... walk away from each other! I'm just saying, we... oh I don't know!" Kurt cried out.

Blaine didn't join Kurt in his frustration, he had taken the need to be frank to heart, but inside he was a weakened mess. "I think you do, you're just afraid to say it out loud. Think long and hard about it..."

"That's all I've been doing since we met, Blaine!" Kurt hissed. "I think I liked it better when I was the bad guy..." Kurt grumbled.

"Stop that, no playing the victim, or the villain, we need to talk, Kurt..." Blaine urged.

"Aren't we talking right now?"

"No, you're stalling." Blaine rejected flatly.

Kurt just groaned as he allowed his head to come to rest on Blaine's shoulder, hoping the touch would transfer some of Blaine's attitude during the whole 'ordeal' to him. It didn't, but Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt protectively and the act brought Kurt some strength. "I'm just... so confused." Kurt admitted with a sigh.

"Me too." Blaine assured him.

"Really?"

"Yes, this is all an act, my confidence right now is very superficial. It's how I am; I put on a brave face for the sake of others. Most of my conflicts are internal and well hidden, but I don't want to hide from you right now. What we need to do is fix this, our whole conundrum, or as best to our ability." Blaine insisted.

Kurt nodded and the wheels in his mind began to turn once more, until he got a brilliant though. "Blaine, we've been so blind." Kurt muttered.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"We've been so busy focusing on the negatives, we forgot one very big glimmer of hope. A light at the end of the tunnel!" Kurt declared. When Blaine showed his was in no mood to guess, Kurt continued. "Christmas vacation, Blaine, it's barely a month away... and of course I was planning to head home for the holidays." Kurt explained. Blaine's face changed instantly, though what to, was inconclusive, since Kurt had no idea, how was it even possible to see happy and angry at the same time. "Blaine... your face." Kurt smirked, feeling glad he still could laugh at this point.

"I'm sorry... but we're fucking idiots, why didn't we think of that sooner?" Blaine blurted out.

Kurt chuckled lightly; they needed this, a break to recover. "It's almost a good thing we didn't, or else, we would have just let that... make us fall into risky security."

"So you're not suggesting we start dating, as in boyfriends, with this new epiphany, then?" Blaine asked, he saw Kurt glare at him and he gave him an apologetic look, touching his face for a moment. "But for the record I'm not saying we should change our game plan all of a sudden, we just need to re-consider it now..." he added quickly.

"I think we should try being long distance friends before boyfriends, Blaine." Kurt explained.

Blaine let out a long breath and turned to look Kurt right in the eye, trying not to lose himself in the blue pits before him. "Kurt, that's the most sensible thing either of us said all night." Blaine declared.

Kurt smiled, but the tears running down his cheeks betrayed his control. "And I was the one to say It." he struggled.

Blaine felt his heart began to ache and he swept Kurt up in his arms on the bed, swaying back and forth, rocking them soothingly. They allowed a moment of silence to recover. "It could be like a dry run, beta testing. The next month, we can see how long distance goes, as friends like you said. When you come back here, we can see what and where we want to go from there." Blaine suggested.

Kurt fought to hold himself together, when it would be so easy to fall apart in Blaine arms, to become unhinged, but it wasn't an option, Blaine was worth too much. "I think we have our answer Blaine, we should be proud of ourselves." Kurt said.

"I don't feel all that proud, not with what I'm starting to want now..." Blaine admitted sheepishly.

"... Can I be weak for just a second, please?" Kurt begged.

"Oh not fair Kurt, you know I can't resist that tone..." Blaine whined.

Kurt sighed and he pulled away from Blaine's embrace slightly, "Kiss me, please, just... I need it."

It took every ounce of control in Blaine's young and conflicted body not to grant Kurt's request instantly. He knew it was dangerous, the amount of emotion between them could make everything they'd accomplished, all their mature decisions, fall apart under their need to be tactile. "If I kiss you, I might not being able to stop." Blaine warned.

"Then I'll make sure to stop, this can be our first test." Kurt assured him.

Blaine wasn't sure if he should trust Kurt, but he wanted it just as bad. "As long as it's not a goodbye kiss." he warned.

Kurt smiled at Blaine and just, drank his entire splendour in. "Kick me out if I prove you wrong, but I won't." Kurt insisted.

Blaine smirked at Kurt and that was all the convincing he needed, he happily obliged Kurt by cupping the side of his cheek and leaning in for a kiss. Kurt responded immediately, but resisted the urge to lean into Blaine's body, keeping the right distance instead. Kurt shut his eyes as he let the sensation wash over him, burning the feeling into his brain. True to his word, when the right time to stop came around, Kurt pulled away and sat up from the bed, walking over to pour himself another drink.

"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine said, remaining seated.

"For what?" Kurt asked playfully.

"For just... being you." Blaine stated.

Kurt cracked a smile and took a long drink and sighed. "Now what?" he asked.

Blaine scuffled back on the bed so his back rested against the headboard. "We keep talking, it's far from over." he responded.

Kurt sighed, Blaine was right of course. "I guess not, anyway... to continue. We both agree we'll hold off for now, remain friends, who hope to graduate to more in the future... but for the moment, keeping back is our best option. We need to see if long distance is even possible, I'm sure going to try... but it won't be easy."

"Life rarely is, Kurt, come here." Blaine urged as he made grabby hands for him.

"No funny business, Blaine Anderson." Kurt warned, but he was being playful.

"We're both going to be busy, Sectionals is like, mere weeks away for the Warblers. Not to mention final exams, since the break marks the end of the term." Blaine added.

"I get the feeling we might do okay at the start, but things are bound to change..." Kurt began to admit.

"So let's focus on not beating ourselves up already, that's just silly, let's take this one day at a time."

"I like the way you think, Blaine." Kurt chuckled.

"Likewise."

"My winter break is substantial, the second term doesn't start until the third week of January. I get the feeling you'll return to class a lot sooner, being it high school." Kurt said, as he tried not to sound too disappointed with the last fact.

"Hmm? Oh well Dalton's a private school, so I got back a week into January." Blaine explained.

"That's something, then." Kurt commented.

"One day at a time, remember?" Blaine warned.

Kurt laughed and he snuggled up next to Blaine on the bed, figuring they could allow themselves this much comfort, considering how mature they were being. Kurt smiled as Blaine took hold of his hand and they lay there, basking in each other' s company, letting the chemistry between them, that underlining attraction, keep them strong. Kurt knew in his heart this was the right choice for them, the right road to start down. When it was at last made, Kurt felt some of his guilt begin to fade, he was sure there would still be the risk he'd neglect Blaine at some point, he wasn't delusional. Kurt just hoped, whatever happened, they'd get past it, so they could both move forward, at a pace they wanted. "Not that I want to bring our emotional recovery back down... but there's one more thing we need to cover." Kurt began to say.

"I'm listening." Blaine announced.

"So we say we won't commit, but I bet on some level we will. It's easy to say that because honestly... we're not going to be able to do anything that would define us as a couple, even if we wanted to. I think we can both admit it's too soon to start getting all lovey-dovey with words over the phone or even Skype. So in a sense, really, how does us deciding not to be boyfriends make it different than just being friends? There's a clear example: if by some miracle, someone hits on us or we get asked out... what do we say?" Kurt questioned.

"Oh..." Blaine began, turned out there was one more thing he hadn't considered. "Honestly... I could see myself saying no thanks..." he admitted.

"Me too, but then, can we with any honesty say we're just friends?"

"We can be honest and say we're not just friends by choice?" Blaine suggested.

"I think we have to be really careful with this subject Blaine... because if we're not committed... then we should be able to see people, in a date scenario or not. But I know if we were to do that, if I found out you're being courted.... I'd feel a little hurt and begin to worry... that it could be a deal breaker, that someone could steal you away before we got the chance to become more." Kurt said.

Blaine didn't coddle Kurt and tell him that was impossible, because as much as he hoped the situation would never happen, he knew it could and he knew exactly how Kurt felt. "Meanwhile I'll start thinking about how it's only a matter of time before guys in NYC realized how amazing you are, Kurt. I mean, you're hot as hell! How the gay youth of NYADA have resisted your chiselled cheekbones, smooth skin and your body... not to mention how intellectual you are, I'll never know. I just know they're gonna be chasing after you and I can't be there to scare them off."

"Like you would..." Kurt teased.

"If I were there with you, we'd be boyfriends and then, I sure would. But nope, I'm stuck here..." Blaine grumbled.

Kurt grinned at Blaine and kissed him on the cheek, "Blaine, your life here has meaning, don't live vicariously through me. You have your own story and your own journey to make, because I have a feeling you're in store for big things."

"Do they include you?" Blaine asked softly.

"I don't know... but I hope they do." Kurt answered honestly.

Suddenly the pair heard a knock on Blaine's door and Blaine shot up from the bed and answered it, to see his mother, Jennifer, standing there. "Mom, you're home." Blaine announced.

"I heard voices... I see you're not alone, you're welcome to have friends over Blaine, but don't let the visit run too late, even for a Saturday night." Jennifer explained.

Blaine nodded; he had no idea what time it was. "Of course mom, oh this is Kurt Hummel." he quickly said, introducing him.

Kurt waved shyly from his spot on the bed and said his hellos, Jennifer let them be after Blaine assured her she could go to bed without worrying, insisted Kurt wouldn't stay much longer. When he closed the door, but not fully, making sure to leave it open a crack, he turned back to Kurt. "What time is it?" he asked

Kurt, who already had his phone out, gave him a weak smile. "It's 9:20..." he answered.

Blaine sighed; it was later than he had guessed, thinking back on it, they had delayed a bit at the library. But getting to talk to the librarians with Kurt and how much they enjoyed the show had been infectious. By the time they made it back to Blaine's, it really had been dinnertime and they had taken their time eating, stalling their talk. As he feared, when the big moment came, it was passing at an alarming speed. "Wait, when's your flight tomorrow?" he asked.

"At ten in the morning." Kurt told him reluctantly.

"Are you serious?" Blaine groaned.

"I'm sorry but at the time I didn't think anything could amuse me enough here to want to stick around for any longer. I'm very glad to be proven wrong but now... it just sucks." Kurt grumbled.

"Can I drive you to the airport tomorrow?" Blaine pleaded as he came to stand at his bed where Kurt was sitting.

Kurt looked at Blaine and his big puppy dog eyes and he resisted the urge to cave, blast Blaine and his appeal, it made being noble very difficult. "Blaine... I don't know if that's wise. It might just make things harder... I'll break down." Kurt warned.

"But in a public place, if we say our goodbyes tonight..."

"It's not goodbye!" Kurt interrupted. "Sorry..." he added weakly.

"Fine, if we are forced to say, farewell for now... tonight, then I will break down and I don't want that to be your last memory of me in person." Blaine whined.

"Maybe you're right, fine... it will make it easier for me to go home tonight. If I know I'll get to see your face tomorrow." Kurt relented.

Blaine beamed at Kurt and let him be pulled down on the bed by Kurt's one good hand. Coming to rest beside him, their faces so close the noses were touching. Blaine ran a hand down Kurt's side; feeling him shiver and Blaine's heart began to race. "Kurt... I..." he began.

Kurt stopped him by placing a finger over his lips. "Shh Blaine, save it, for when we're sure." he whispered.

"Who says I'm not sure now?" Blaine interjected.

"Because, so far, we've been of one mind. It's a novelty, it will wear off and the real emotion will remain. There will be time for this later, when we're both ready. I don't want the first time we... say anything like that to each other, to be a lie Blaine. Remember, we're holding back because we care..." Kurt reminded him.

"Okay... don't go yet, stay for another hour at least?" Blaine asked.

"Of course Blaine, I was about to ask the same thing." Kurt admitted.

"How should we pass the time? I'm sort of... sick of talking." Blaine added.

Kurt felt his heart skip a beat; oh he knew exactly how he wanted to pass their last hour together. But then, the question was, should they. "Well... we could... Be a little... daring... I mean, come tomorrow we'll have to be mature. But right now, I feel... rebellious." Kurt admitted as he gave Blaine a devious smile.

"Kurt Hummel, tell me what you mean before my cock takes over and gives me suggestions." Blaine warned through clenched teeth.

"I want us to make out, on this bed... I wish I could offer you more... but I haven't done anything. I have no oral talents, when it comes to sex, it would just turn out to be very awkward if I were to try..." Kurt admitted and he felt an onslaught of embarrassment run through him as his face turned bright red. Kurt hid his hands over his eyes and he winced as he felt a twinge of pain in his left wrist from the sharp movement. "What am I saying." he cried out.

"Shh Kurt! My mom's home, my dad now too... that sort of decides thing for us. Making out under their noses is one thing... I couldn't even manage a hand job, and I have no idea if we could handle blow jobs... oh my god... this is so hard..." Blaine muttered. Then he caught the double meaning and he groaned. "I say we make out a bit and stop when it reaches heated levels. Armed with the fact that my folks are home and I don't have protection..." Blaine began, but it was hard to continue.

".... And we don't have the time we'd want. But before we get our mack on, looks like there's one thing to make clear. If we do get together come December, that doesn't mean I want us to jump immediately into the sac. I want sex... whenever we're ready to go there, to be more than just the physical, I want it to matter." Kurt explained, repeating similar words Burt had given him in his senior year, when they had finally had 'the talk' before Kurt had left for New York.

"So, the real question is: to kiss or not to kiss?" Blaine laughed.

Kurt grinned at him, wondering if they'd make the right decision, but only one would lead to smooching Blaine, so he chose with that in mind. Kurt got so bold as to roll over, so he was lying half on top of Blaine's chest as their faces inched closer. "Blaine..." he whispered and then, they stopped talking, for longer than an hour.