Sept. 2, 2014, 7 p.m.
Sinner or Saviour?: Chapter 3
E - Words: 5,028 - Last Updated: Sep 02, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Sep 02, 2014 - Updated: Sep 02, 2014 236 0 0 0 0
Kurt came out of hiding the moment Blaine said they were a safe enough distance away from school and started walking beside him. Having Kurt this close to him and for it not to be a big deal was a nice surprise. He felt like he could really be himself around Kurt – whoever that was. It wasnt like Blaine didnt have any other friends though, just over the past few weeks hed stop hanging out with them during his potential personal crisis.
At present none of those past concerns were on Blaines mind, because for a non-human, Kurt knew how to hold a conversation. Meanwhile Blaine, in his attempts to do the same, for the most part kept laughing at Kurts clever antidotes.
“So have you lived in DC for a while? Since you have an apartment here?” Blaine asked, hoping he wasnt being too personal.
Kurt nodded casually at him and said, “For about... oh... seven years now.” He then waited for Blaine to say something else but when he didnt immediately he smiled at him in encouragement – as if to say come on now, dont be shy.
Kurts little signal ended up working and Blaine managed to find his voice again. “What drew you to here?”
“Hmm? I grew up here actually, in an orphanage mind you but that still makes DC my hometown. For a while I just wanted to get away from here, you know, in attempts to escape my trying life. But once I did, I soon learned that trouble still followed me wherever I went. So I figured, why not try to run from it and for a while I did managed to. Until the drifter life got old some years later and I decided settling down back here was as good as any place,” Kurt explained.
Blaine knew that asking specific details about Kurts past would be crossing a line, so he decided to tell Kurt a bit about himself instead – to make it even. “I was born in Ohio myself, and I can say with complete certainty that living here is a much better choice.”
“I can imagine,” Kurt said.
After an enjoyable fifteen minute walk, Kurt brought Blaine to an apartment building just on the edge of town and announced that they had reached their destination. From the outside the area looked pretty decent and as he followed Kurt inside and up to his front door, that opinion was strengthened. It was no posh penthouse suite, but it was no shabby studio loft either.
Kurt had never had company over at his place before, because aside from hook-ups, humans werent usually worth the effort. But there was a first time for everything he supposed, so Kurt brought out his keys, opened the door and ushered Blaine inside.
“Its not much,” he said in warning.
Blaine shook his head at Kurt in amusement. “Im sure its fine.”
At first glance the small apartment was rather bare, but there were little touches here and there that managed to give the space some character. The first thing that caught Blaines eye was the quaint little kitchen that was on the right side of the room. On the other side was a cozy living area that held a two seat sofa couch, coffee table, television and lastly, a bookshelf that appeared to be full of various DVDs, books and a couple of ornaments. There were two doors in the room: a bathroom and bedroom respectively, to complete the apartment. Blaine smiled; it all looked simple yet functional. It actually reminded Blaine of his own dorm-room so maybe that was why it felt so inviting.
“I like it,” Blaine said.
Kurt snorted, “Youre just saying that to be polite.”
“Im serious Kurt, it feels... homey.”
Despite his obvious sincerity, Kurt eyed Blaine suspiciously and yet the man didnt crumble under his formidable stare. The showdown was over before it could even begin when Kurt just shook his head at Blaine, smirking away, and he headed towards his bedroom door.
“If its all right with you Id like to take a shower before changing. You dont have to wait for me to eat or anything.”
Blaine, who was busy looking around the apartment, turned to look at Kurt, and discovered that he was already inside of his bedroom stripping off his shirt. Blaine managed not to blush at the sight of his naked torso – because he wasnt some bashful teenager anymore – but it felt wrong to stare at him, so he averted his gaze ever so slightly.
“Its okay. I dont mind waiting.”
There wasnt a self-conscious bone in Kurts body to stop himself from going over to Blaine while he was still topless. Once he made it to the doorframe Kurt eyed Blaine annoyingly with his arms crossed over his chest. “Blaine, your stomachs been rumbling non stop.”
“Im not going to faint and as long as you dont take an extra long shower, Ill survive the wait. And the more you fight me on this the longer the wait until we can both eat is going to be...”
Kurt shrugged. “Suit yourself then. Either way, I wont take too long in the shower.”
“No rush. Ill spend the time setting up the table for us even,” Blaine offered.
“I dont have much in the way of silverware or dishes but be my guest.”
“Ill manage, now go shower,” Blaine said, shooing him off towards the door.
The giggle Kurt produced made him wince but he took it in stride and gave Blaine a flirtatious wink before closing the door in his face. He glanced at his reflection in his bathroom mirror and he hardly recognized himself. He was smiling, beaming even. Kurt had to be more careful or Blaine could slip under his defences without either of them realizing it – and reach his well-guarded heart.
“As if he could,” Kurt snorted at the very idea.
Sure Blaine was cute, and could even be sexy if push came to shove, but he was also hopelessly in the closet and to make matters worse – planned to live a life of celibacy. Kurt shivered at the thought of a life void of sex. Luckily the hot water from the shower soon heated him back up.
“They told me to save him... but... of course they didnt say how I should do that...”
Out in the living room/dinning area of Kurts apartment, Blaine was doing his best to set up their breakfast. He used Kurts microwave to re-heat their Thai food a bit and soon Blaines work was done. He fought the urge to take just a bite of his portion and turned on the TV to give himself something else to do. He was in luck, Kurt had Bravo, and that was always his go-to television channel.
Kurt kept his shower short and headed back into his bedroom to choose his outfit for the day. One of the few things he enjoyed about living like a human was fashion. He just wished the wearable clothes werent so expensive. Kurt was off in his own little world and dressed only in a towel and before long he started singing to himself as he went through his closet.
Through the closed door Blaine could hear the faint sound of music and he put the TV on mute so he could make it out. “Is that Im Still Here from Follies?” Blaine mumbled. It was! Kurt was a Broadway fan, who knew! That was something they had in common then, because Blaine also loved Broadway musicals, in fact, back in high school hed always wanted to go to Theatre school after graduation. Obviously things had turned out differently for him, but his love of theatre had still remained in spite of that.
“Im nearly done, Blaine!” Kurt called to him through the door.
“Still doing fine out here,” Blaine said.
“You know...” Kurt began as he threw another rejected shirt on his bed. “... I gotta hand it to you Blaine, not every guy could handle some guy with wings appearing out of thin air in their dorm room as well as you did. I sure didnt think wed be heading to my apartment together the following day either.”
“Honestly, Im as surprised as you are,” Blaine said. “At first it was just so hard to believe but there you were, so I had no choice but to accept it.”
“Yes but you could have called security, not that they could take me, but you didnt know that at the time.”
“Who knows, maybe my moment to freak out will happen once Ive had time to let it all sink in.”
Kurt, who was now dressed in black skinny jeans and a navy dress shirt that had a golden circle and line pattern on it, stepped out of his room and grinned at Blaine on the couch. “Im starving,” he grumbled as he hurried over to sit next to Blaine. He grabbed a fork and shoveled a large portion of Thai food into his mouth.
Since Kurt was already tucking into his plate, Blaine quickly joined him and the pair ate their meal in silence, but while still smiling at one another.
For the first time ever, a human and an angel-demon hybrid were sitting down to breakfast – willingly. Kurt wondered what both sides of his parentage would think if they could see him now. Would they even care? Probably not. When did they ever take notice of anything happening among the mortals when they werent directly involved somehow. If history was any proof to their disinterest with humans as a whole, he doubted it. Of course Kurts opinion on the matter was rather biased, but if the shoe fit.
“I had considered living off campus myself at first, but I figured the fellowship aspect of the dorms would do me some good,” Blaine said.
“And how has dorm life been for you?” Kurt asked, trying his best to sound interested – since he was – somewhat.
“Its everything like I thought it would be, and everyone is nice to one another, were like family,” Blaine said.
There was something in the tone of Blaines voice that betrayed his sincerity, that and how he was frowning. “But...” Kurt said musically, to give Blaine a chance to vent for once.
Blaine glanced at Kurt shyly, he knew there was no reason to hold his true opinion back, but years of wanting people to like him was hard to overcome. So was the fear that saying the wrong thing could turn away everyone he knew and cared about in an instant – like it had with his own parents – until hed convinced them he wasnt going to throw his life away (or his soul) anymore. “Sometimes... I find their friendliness suffocating at times. Like theyre all trying way too hard to come off as nice.”
“Oh trust me Blaine, being a devout Catholic doesnt mean theyre all saints. Everyone, even your fellow students, have their weak moments when they let their real opinions out. Youve just been lucky enough not to experience that side for yourself very much,” Kurt explained.
“Have you?” Blaine dared to ask.
Kurt shrugged indifferently. “Now and then, but its usually just words, and those just roll off my back.”
Blaine sighed, “I envy you.”
“So tell me Blaine, when did you decide to become a priest?” Kurt said, changing the subject.
It was an innocent enough question and Blaine didnt think that Kurt meant anything by asking, so how could answer without having the discussion turn awkward? Perhaps Blaine could summarize enough that he wouldnt be lying exactly, hed just be withholding some truths in the process.
“It wasnt just one thing that lead to it...” Blaine began, already failing with his attempts to slide past the key details.
Kurt put down his fork to eye Blaine. “Blaine...” he said warily. “You did decide on your own to become a priest... right?”
“Of course,” Blaine sputtered off nervously and that wasnt a lie, not exactly.
Kurt eyes widened. “Holy shit! Youre parents made you! Didnt they!”
“No!” Blaine shouted. “It was my choice to, honest.”
There was no reason for Kurt not to believe Blaines claims, but his gut feeling told him otherwise. But in attempts to lessen the rising tension between them, Kurt went with the old failsafe: humour. “Did youre folks catch you with a guy or something?” Kurt asked, chuckling until he saw the colour drain from Blaines cheeks.
Oh no. Bad idea. Fucking stupid idea. Kurt felt horrible – or he would have – if he werent still too shocked to properly react. “Holy shit! Thats what happened! They found you with a guy and made you turn your life over to God before youd be sent burning straight Hell upon your death! I bet they even said that it was the only way to save you,” Kurt grumbled bitterly, as if it had happened to him.
“Youve got it all wrong Kurt, it wasnt like that...”
“Have I?” Kurt challenged as he looked Blaine right in the eye.
As if Kurts gaze held some sort of power over him, Blaine squirmed until he could bear it no longer.
“Kurt, calm down and Ill tell you the real story,” Blaine said and once Kurt complied he went on, though he wished he didnt have to. “Its true that my parents did find me with a boy when I was seventeen... but I was going through a confused experimental stage and in a moment of weakness I gave into my unnatural urges. I knew what I was doing with him was wrong but I couldnt stop myself from letting it happen... over and over... until finally one day my parents came home early and caught us together. I felt so ashamed that I had let them both down and had turned to a life of sin. My parents were worried for me of course but once the initial shock wore off they didnt hesitate to help me find my way again. I looked inside myself and prayed to God for guidance and then finally, I had a moment. I finally knew what my path was: I would become a priest and dedicate my life to God,” Blaine explained.
It was a credit to Kurts stubborn nature that he didnt laugh in Blaines face, but regardless that he didnt want to hurt Blaines feelings, Kurt could only take so much. “Im sorry Blaine, but that has to be the stupidest thing Ive ever heard.”
The apology hardly softened the offending remark and Blaine stood up and walked away from Kurt. He wasnt about to storm out of the apartment but he didnt want to look him in the eye right now.
Kurt couldnt bear to watch Blaine turn his back on him. He had screwed up horribly and he knew he had to make amends with his offended friend and quick.
“Blaine...” Kurt said helplessly.
“What?” said Blaine, who still had back turned.
“I didnt mean to...”
Blaine whirled around to look Kurt and the eye and it was clear he wasnt about to let Kurt off so easily.
“To what? Mock what was a very difficult time in my life? Call me stupid and not even care how that might make me feel?”
Kurt ran a hand down his face; why was he so bad at apologizing!
“I am truly sorry if I hurt you Blaine, I am. Theres no excuse for saying something so cruel to you but just hearing you talk like that triggered me. It made things personal and in my own stupidity, it caused me to lash out of you. That was wrong of me... but you need to understand that I just... I dont want to hear you say that being attracted to another man is something you should be ashamed of. Or that you actually are trying to make yourself believe that only God can save you because of course any other option -- like learning to accept that you could be gay and that it doesnt have to be a big deal – is totally out of the question!”
“All throughout my life Ive heard back minded shit like this and I am so fucking sick of it. So Im not even that angry at you Blaine, Im mad at people like your parents, who have fuelled years of prejudice... and hate and it all makes me wanna scream out, Why?! Why the fuck should two men loving each other, having sex or doing the same things that heterosexual couples do even matter! Why is it so wrong?” Kurt cried out in frustration.
Blaine watched Kurt as he went through a wave of emotion during his speech: his voice broke in places, his eyes teared up even and his lip quivered under the strain. Since meeting Kurt, Blaine had never seen him so emotionally shaken before. He needed to say something while Kurt stopped to catch his breath, but what?
Kurt let out a tired breath; his outburst seemed to be finished or the brunt of it at least. “Im sorry Blaine, but this is how I feel.”
Blaine didnt want to argue with Kurt about how different their beliefs were, so as a compromise he said, “Do you think we can simply agree to disagree on this matter – at least for the time being?”
Kurt sighed in defeat; he knew Kurt couldnt go against Blaine and those big puppy dog eyes of his. Just like he knew this wasnt the end of things, not by a long shot. The better acquainted they became with one another, the more their different beliefs would continue to clash.
“We can try, but I cant promise you anything,” Kurt said.
Blaine smiled weakly at Kurt; thankful that he was willing to meet him at the middle. “Thats good enough for me Kurt, thank you.”
“For what?”
Blaine smile widened as he stepped towards Kurt so he could place his hand upon his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “For being my friend.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
Never before had Kurt had a friend like Blaine, who was kind, inviting, funny and oh so sweet. Hed never had a friend at all really, but that fact didnt make his friendship with Blaine any less special. Before Kurt had met Blaine hed always thought himself a loner but that belief was quickly proving untrue.
Since Blaine was off at Sunday morning mass and Kurt really didnt want to join him there -- not that Blaine had offered -- he decided to physically walk back to his apartment just to pass time. It was too early in the afternoon to do anything really fun, so while it was hardly exciting Kurt decided hed do a bunch of mundane chores while Blaine was busy doing his own thing.
But those plans were quickly interrupted when Kurt opened the door to his apartment to see that he had unexpected company. Kurt didnt react to the intruder, instead he just nonchalantly closed the door behind him and hung his jacket up in his hallway closet. Once his shoes were off and his outer layers put away did Kurt finally look at the young woman who was quietly sitting on his couch. He noted her white lace dress, her pretty asymmetrical shaped face and her golden blonde hair and casually asked, “So, where are from? Up top or down below?”
The young womans calm demeanour never faltered as Kurt coolly addressed her, or her indifferent smile the least bit friendly. “Cant you tell?” she countered.
Kurts jaw tightened ever-so-slightly and his eyes narrowed warily at her. “Appearances can be deceiving, especially with non-humans. Ive learned never make any assumptions.” This was going to be unbearable, he just knew it. “So tell me...” Kurt said, opening up his fridge to get a bottle of water, “because Ive always wondered, that shell of yours, it is modeled after a living human or did you just randomly conjure up your lovely appearance on your own?”
The woman didnt answer; she just continued to watch Kurt prowl around the apartment as he tried to act like her presence didnt bother him. “You are as snarky as they say,” she said.
“And the they you are referring to is?”
“If youre also as clever as they say, then you should know by now.”
Kurt groaned; anyone this deflective had to be an angel. “I should have known you wouldnt leave me alone,” he grumbled begrudgingly.
“Ive been sent to check up on you from time to time, to see how youre doing with your assignment, Kurt,” she explained.
“Do you have a name or are you above such things?”
“You can call me Quinn.”
“Pretty. Okay Quinn, Ill level with you here, if only to get you to leave that much quicker. Im handling my assignment just fine, thank you very much,” Kurt snarked.
Quinn stood up off of the couch and went to where Kurt was silently brooding; his dagger eyes doing nothing to keep her at bay. The way she was looking at him, with her superior smile, sent a message that she clearly thought Kurt was like an unruly child who needed guidance – either that, or to be reprimanded.
“Ill be the judge of that, since that is why I am here. Theres no denying that when it comes to earning Blaines trust you have done very well, but as for saving him, you still have a long way to go and the archangels are wondering why that is.”
Kurt snorted, “I bet they are.”
“Youve been at this for a month now Kurt, so why are you stalling?” Quinn questioned.
The angels werent the only one who could be stubbornly evasive at times, and Kurt wasnt below using such tactics to avoid confrontations either. He knew that he was stalling but it wasnt for the reasons that Quinn and her fellow angels thought. Kurts hesitance was all due to the fact that he was afraid to tell Blaine that he was his assignment and that he already knew the solution to Blaines problem. In the month since theyd become friends, that particular elephant in the rooms size had only gotten bigger. What would it take for Blaine to realize that being gay wasnt wrong and he didnt need to become a priest to make up for his sins.
“I need to understand where Blaine is coming from to know how to begin to save him. I dont know how you like to operate but theres more to mortals than just showing up in a halo of light and preaching Bible verses to them. Blaines problems are very complex and after spending a month getting to know him, Ive learned that there is no easy fix. I want to do this right and I wasnt aware that there was a time limit for the assignment either.”
“We didnt think we needed to give you one,” Quinn said.
Kurt flopped down on the couch; determined to keep pretending that he had the upper hand. When it came to power, Kurt knew one lonesome angel was no match for him, but she could easily call for reinforcements. Besides, things hadnt escalated there just yet, it sounded like she was just here to remind him of his task, though she was doing a shitty job of it.
“Is it my fault that you gave me such vague instructions for the assignment? Because telling me to save Blaine sure left a lot to interpretation, so Ive had to wing it.”
“Is that why you and Blaine have become so close?” Quinn asked as she joined him on the couch.
“Were close because Blaine needed a friend,” Kurt stated matter-of-factly.
“I thought perhaps you were trying to lead him astray.”
Kurt glanced at her out of the corner of his eye; what was she getting at? “And why would you think that, Quinn?”
“We know youve been in contact with demons, Kurt.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “I should have known, but forgive me if I dont act all ashamed. Is it my fault if your greatest enemy has the same idea as you? Im their kind as much as I am yours. So like you, they suddenly gained an interest in me when my powers awakened. You cant blame them for wanting to secure such a powerful being,” Kurt pointed out.
“Before you call in the big guns, I havent actually chosen a side yet,” Kurt added smugly. And with how things are going so far, I dont know if I ever will, he thought.
Quinn reached over to the side of the couch to snatch the maroon cardigan resting over the arm and Kurts body stiffened because it belonged to Blaine. Hed left it there last evening when theyd spent all of Saturday together and there hadnt been a chance for Kurt to return it yet.
Kurt ignored Quinn as she put the cardigan on and he turned on the TV on to drown her out in case she chose to verbally taunt him. “Its not nice to take other people's things,” Kurt commented.
“Then why do you have it to begin with?” Quinn said.
“Blaine left it here yesterday.”
“Hes been spending a lot of time here lately.”
“So what if he has, hes doing it by choice,” Kurt snapped.
“Hes using you as an escape from his usual life Kurt, his friends are starting to notice. Theyre whispering things...”
Nothing Quinn was saying was news to him, because the same concerns had crossed Kurts mind many times. So what if he was trying to escape his struggles. If his company had become a safe space for Blaine, then he wasnt about to feel guilty for that. Considering how much Blaine was giving him in return, it was the least he could do to help his friend.
“Its funny how none of the people around him have tried to reach out to Blaine in his time of need,” Kurt said mockingly.
Unfortunately for Kurt, the angels had chosen well when theyd sent Quinn to keep an eye on him. She took one look at Kurt and actually smiled sweetly at him, as if his icy glances were meant to make her feel welcome – instead of the opposite. “How can they when hes never around?” Quinn asked.
“You can try all you like but you wont make me feel guilty.”
“Not even when I mention how you obviously have romantic feelings for Blaine? Despite the fact that hes dedicated himself to God?”
That was it. Kurts patience finally ran dry and he tried to make a foolish escape to his bedroom. Slamming the door behind Quinn might feel good but his pleasure was short lived. Sure enough, when Kurt lay down in his bed he opened his eyes to find Quinn there close beside him. Kurt growled in annoyance and rolled over on his side to put his back to her. Kurt had been doing his best to deny the fact that hed fallen for Blaine and Quinn stating it outright wasnt making the job any easier. The sensation of being watch remained, and it felt like Quinns stare was burning holes into the back of his head.
“Why are you still here?” Kurt grumbled when Quinn still hadnt made any attempts to leave.
“I thought you might want some counseling,” Quinn said.
Kurts eyes snapped open; that was the last straw. Kurt clamped his hand on Quinns right forearm and he used just enough power so she couldnt break free as he got up in her personal space. “Leave,” he ordered darkly.
Kurt loosened his grip on her just enough that she could go if she chose, but of course she didnt. Fed up, Kurt yanked her off of the bed, half dragged her to his front door and practically tossed her out into the hallway. “And please dont come again!” he barked.
Quinn found herself on the other side of Kurts door and yet she just smoothed the wrinkled fabric of her dress and fixed her hair (she'd already taken off Blaine's cardigan in Kurt's apartment). Once her appearance was perfect again, she stared at the closed door with her arms crossed over her chest. She had been warned that Kurt was a loose canon, but this was a bit much even for him. Quinn decided shed leave him to his own devices for now, because she had been ordered to observe him and not intervene on her own. Things could still turn out for Kurt too, though that all depended on him and Blaine and if they could ever admit the things they were trying so hard to deny.
Her job done for the day, Quinn turned away from the door and her figure faded into nothingness as she went.
Kurt let out a breath of relief as soon as he felt her presence disappear. He was in such a pissed off mood he had half a mind to go and blow off some steam but it was a little too early in the day to do that. With nothing better to do, Kurt went ahead and did the chores that had been piling up but the boring tasks did nothing to bring down his aggravation.
Then, right when Kurt was this close to having his anger come to a full boil, his salvation came in the form of a familiar and friendly sounding voice.
�
Kurt?
In one instant, Kurts anger melted away and was replaced with warmth and affection. With no one there to point it out anymore, he didnt shy away from those feelings. It was too late for that anyway, and there was no denying it either; Blaine had captured Kurts heart and he didnt want to ask for it back. He was already too far-gone. But no matter how strongly he felt for Blaine, it wasnt in the cards for them, so he had no intentions to tell Blaine about it.
Im here Blaine, same as always, Kurt sent back playfully.