Sept. 2, 2014, 7 p.m.
Sinner or Saviour?: Chapter 2
E - Words: 4,875 - Last Updated: Sep 02, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Sep 02, 2014 - Updated: Sep 02, 2014 230 0 0 0 0
For the first time in ages, Blaine ended up having the most restful sleep that he could remember. He awoke in the early morning, feeling groggy but not tired. Blaine yawned, sitting up in bed as scratched his head absentmindedly. He wondered to himself, still in his post waking state, why he had slept so well. Blaine got out of bed to check the time and he smiled, it was only 9 am so he hadnt over slept that much. It was the weekend anyway so he had no classes to go to, but Blaine still kept a busy schedule in attempts to keep himself safely grounded. Not this morning though, as he had cancelled his afternoon plans yesterday – for which he was quite glad.
Oh what a naive life he had lead so far. One he had started to question and then, without any warning, hed gotten a sudden reality check in the form of a young man who claimed to be half angel half demon. Blaine had no reason to trust him, or to ever accept anything Kurt was so willing to offer him for that matter. Yet as he got out of bed and set to his usual morning routine, Blaine couldnt let himself think everything that had happened to him was just a dream.
Instead he took a deep breath, hoped he wouldnt regret it and said out-loud, “Kurt?”
Immediately Blaine felt Kurts presence enter his mind and it felt as strange as the first time, but still not in a bad way.
‘Mm?' Kurt sleepily replied.
“Could you come out of my…” Blaine started, pausing when he tried to think of less intimate sounding word to use than body, “…mind for a moment please?” Blaine asked awkwardly.
Blaine heard Kurts loud yawn and then his grumpy mutterings from being awakened and before he could say anything in reply, Kurt appeared in front of him looking as tired as his yawn had implied.
“You rang?” Kurt said, still grumbling.
Blaine had momentarily forgotten his reason for calling Kurt in the first place, but his memory quickly returned. “I wanted to take a shower,” he explained.
At hearing this, Kurt immediately snapped into awareness and he grinned at Blaine playfully. “How kind of you to wake me so I can watch the show.”
Blaine rolled his eyes. “I asked you to come out so I could shower alone, Kurt.” Just the idea of having Kurt in his head while he did that sure wasnt something Blaine wanted to experience.
Kurt smirked at him. “Blaine, you do realize Ive seen naked men before and thats not counting myself. I thought we covered this last night. How when you and I are linked together, there is nothing sexual about it; its just a way for us to remain connected. Unless you called my name during the shower, I wouldnt even know you that you were taking one.”
“Oh,” Blaine said softly, running a hand through his hair with a sheepish grin on his face. “I think when my shower's done we should sit down and talk so you can explain to me how this all works.”
“Sure,” Kurt easily granted, flopping down on the empty bed opposite of the room so he could rest a bit longer. “In the meantime Im going to get the rest of my beauty sleep while you shower. Wake me when youre done.”
When Kurt heard the door close behind him, he opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. A smug little grin spread across his face; he was that pleased with himself and how things with Blaine were going. Thanks to his ability to adapt to any situation; Kurt had managed to change tactics the second he realized that the any attempts to play on Blaines repressed sexual urges wouldnt work. Ironically as soon as Kurt switched to playfully platonic with just a hint of flirtation Blaine had started to open up to him – emotionally.
So Kurt had no concerns that instead of taking a shower, Blaine was calling the cops on him. While the fact that Blaine showed every sign of coming to trust him already, Kurts work was far from over. If only Blaine would see the error of his ways and realize what hed been taught about homosexuality was horribly wrong. Things would go so much faster, but if it were that easy Kurt doubted he would have been assigned to Blaine in the first place.
It was so obvious how unhappy Blaine was and yet those around him seemed unaware of the fact. Even when he had been raised among them, Kurt still couldnt understand humans most of the time. He had half a mind to go confront Blaines parents, who were the real perpetrators. Thanks to their teachings (more like brainwashing) Blaine had spent the past twenty-one-years feeling lost and confused. Of course, Blaine's parents werent solely to blame, they themselves had been most likely raised the same way by their own families – forever in an unbreakable chain. It was mind numbing to think even about it, so Kurt just threw himself down on the bed to actually give going back to sleep a try.
Blaine returned twenty minutes later and he poked his head inside his dorm room to see that Kurt appeared to be snoozing on his bed. He quickly closed the door before anyone in the hallway could see an unfamiliar man inside; if anyone besides himself could see Kurt at all – yet another thing he needed ask him about.
Blaine put the finishing touches on his hair and once he deemed himself presentable enough, he turned to glance at Kurt behind him. He looked so peaceful -- lying on his side with his mouth open slightly, his right hand above his head, while the left was draped over his tummy -- that Blaine was tempted to let him sleep a bit longer. What made him reject that idea was when he realized he was admiring Kurt a little too much and he backed away from the bed.
Calm down Blaine, you havent done anything wrong. Hed stopped those thoughts before they could get away from him plenty of times, so it shouldnt be any different this time around.
“Kurt, Im done now,” he said in firm voice.
“Already?” Kurt croaked tiredly, looking very human in his just-woken-up-disheveled state.
Blaine could only nod as Kurt sat up to look at him and he tried his hardest to clear his mind of any remaining sinful thoughts. Blaine had the sinking suspicion that this was going to be a challenging thing for him to overcome. Eventually Blaine realized Kurt was staring at him and his warm smile made him grin in turn, albeit nervously.
“You look nice,” Kurt said, giving him a good look over. “Very dashing,” he added with just a hint of flirtation in his voice.
Blaine blushed in response; he felt like a bashful teenager all over again. “Um thanks, I guess… you look…” he began, stumbling on his words as Kurts gaze somehow changed to look even more alluring. “… good. I mean, you look good too.”
“I swear Im not trying to make you uncomfortable, Blaine. I just like complimenting others when they look good. But if youd rather Id not, then I wont.”
“No its fine. Im sure Ill get used to it soon enough. Just remember to go easy on me okay.”
Now that he was fully awake, Kurt sat upright on the bed, crossing one leg over the other as he watched Blaine for a moment to make sure he wasnt having any second thoughts. There appeared to be none, at least to him, so Kurt figured as long as he didnt get too aggressive with his flirtations, then there was no cause for worry. “I can answer any questions you might have if you like, unless Im keeping you from something,” Kurt offered.
Blaine brought out his cellphone to check his itinerary over just in case hed forgotten something. “I dont have anywhere to be until the evening, so we have time,” he said.
Kurt nodded, his playful expression turning slightly more serious. “First off; I see now that I should have explained myself better – or at all really – before entering your consciousness without your consent, especially since wed just met. Honestly, Im amazed you didnt freak out more.”
“I had no idea what you were doing exactly, so thats probably why,” Blaine said.
Kurt chuckled; he was glad that Blaine was still taking everything rather well -- all things considered. “True enough. I guess that means what I should do first is explain how it all works, though Im not sure how to do that exactly – or where to begin even…”
“How about you start with why you can do it?”
“I have my demon bloodline to thank for that, since demons regularly posses humans when it serves them. Except in their case its usually to take control of their bodies… or worse…” Kurt began to ramble, until he realized such subject matter would hardly help Blaine come to trust him. “For the record I have no intention to do that to you.”
An unsettling thought entered Blaines mind. “Could you though, if you tried?”
“Im not sure, since I honestly havent tried to before, on you or anyone else,” Kurt told Blaine truthfully.
Amazingly enough, Blaine actually believed him, even when he had no real reason to. There was something about him, something that tugged at Blaine; a connection perhaps? Such a thought might have made him concerned, but then, not all connections were romantic in origin. Right?
“Anyway, being half demon makes it possible for me to enter a person, like, with my spirit I mean. Basically I just enter their physical body and I kinda… share theirs… so to speak…” Kurt tried to explain, but all it took was one look at Blaine to see the confusion under his polite smile to know he was failing miserably.
Blaine eyed Kurt disconcertingly, he wasnt really sure what to do or say – and hed felt like this since last night actually. “Are you okay?” Blaine asked finally when Kurt appeared to be struggling with his explanation a little too much.
Kurt sighed in annoyance. “What does it look like to you?”
“To me it looks like you have bad gas or something,” Blaine admitted playfully.
Blaine grinned widely as his attempts to break the tension caused Kurt to burst out laughing. He in turn joined in and the pair shared a moment of laughter before pulling themselves together.
Kurt wiped a tear from his eyes, beamed at Blaine and said, “Thanks, I needed that.”
“Youre very welcome,” Blaine replied charmingly without even trying. He wished he could be more helpful but before yesterday he didnt even known that angels and demons had physical bodies. He racked his brain for a possible solution, since Kurt still appeared to have none himself – judging by his furrowed brow and constant muttering. Until Kurts eyes suddenly lit up and Blaines heart raced at the sight of him. In one instant Kurt had gone from handsome and brooding to dazzlingly beautiful and either he was imagining things or he swore that Kurt was almost glowing.
“Thought of something?”
Kurt nodded his head in confirmation. “Possibly, if youre game for what I have in mind that is. It just dawned on me than instead of trying to tell you how it works, I could just show you,” he explained.
“All right,” Blaine said without any hesitance.
Just the fact that Blaine could trust him so easily caught Kurt off guard, but he didnt ask Blaine if he was sure, because Blaines soft smile of assurance said it all. “There are three different levels for how… prominent I can be in your mind, Blaine,” Kurt began. “I thought I could give you an example of each and then explain what I can perceive at each of those said levels.”
This all sounded fine to Blaine, though on the inside he was a little nervous about the whole thing. Hopefully Kurt explaining things to him while it was happening would help him be more at ease. Once he understood the process better then he could decide if he would go along with it or not – or at least set up some boundaries. Blaine waited for Kurt to start but nothing happened and he realized Kurt was waiting for his okay. Blaine quickly nodded at him, minding to keep smiling as he watched Kurt get up off the bed and begin to slowly approach him.
Kurt carefully minded his pace as he inched closer to Blaine, stopping when their mouths were only inches apart, but Kurt just grinned at him playfully.
“Ready?” Kurt said, just to be extra sure.
Blaine gulped, “Yep.”
For one split second Blaine thought Kurt was going to kiss him and he held his breath when he moved his head forward but there was no kiss, Kurt just stepped right into him like a ghost would walk through a wall. Blaine staggered back in shock; he hadnt seen what Kurt had done the last time, so he had no idea what to expect.
Sorry, there I go again not explaining myself. Im more the act first -- think latter type of guy. I should really work on that, Kurts sassy voice chimed in his head.
Once again Kurts ‘presence' didnt feel intrusive, it actually felt rather natural for him to be there in Blaines mind. Of course that only made Blaine more confused but maybe he shouldnt worry that much about it – all things considered.
I think thats good advice, Kurt agreed.
“I keep forgetting you can... read my thoughts... and that parts kinda... unnerving.”
Ah well, I can only do that when Im at this level, so lets call it level one okay? Thats when my presence is fully integrated into yours. Im basically linked to you: I see through your eyes, hear with your ears, I can read your mind and feel your emotions too. Not only that, but if you were to fall down on your ass Ill feel the same painful sting same as you would, Kurt explained.
Blaine frowned; this was quite disconcerting news, because up until this point hed only ever had to worry about hiding his feelings from others and not his personal thoughts.
Just so you know Blaine, I dont plan to use level one very much – or at all really – for obvious reasons, since I know the importance of privacy. I went there last night because I was just trying to tell the differences with the levels so I could move between them.
“How come I cant hear or feel anything from you? I mean, I can sense that youre there and I can hear your voice in my head when you speak to me, but thats it,” Blaine said.
Ah well, thats because I have very strong emotional walls built around me Blaine. Its nothing personal, but if I were to lower them... Im worried that my thoughts and emotions might overwhelm you and get mixed up with your own. Its better this way, trust me, although I know it seems like its an unfair exchange...
Blaine swore he could pick up faint waves of regret coming from Kurt and feeling emotion that wasnt his own was strange to process. Actually, strange didnt begin to describe it. “So how is level two different then?”
A few minuets passed before Kurt finally said, “Here we are: level two. Take a moment to see how it feels.”
At first Blaine wasnt sure there was much of a difference, but with him being unable to sense much from Kurt to begin with, it was understandable. He supposed there had to be a way to test the limits of Kurts reach when it came to his thoughts. Just, how should he go about it? Blaine was so clueless. He was used to hiding certain things but in many ways, Blaine still wore his heart on his sleeve most of the time.
Anything so far? Kurt asked.
“Not really, no, aside from your voice being a bit fainter.”
Ill explain the differences on my side then, to clear things up for you. That is fundamentally it though Blaine: everythings fainter. I cant hear your thoughts anymore, but I can pick up on your emotions still – strong ones anyway. Like, I can tell youre a bit confused right now and thats about it. I can still see through your eyes and hear what you hear, but its more like Im just an observer over being a physical part of your body... Kurt said. Am I making any sense?
“Actually yes, for the most part anyway. That just leaves level three to experience.”
Thats the one where I am not actually sharing your consciousness and I just leave our connection open just a tinge so I can still feel you, Blaine. I cant hear or feel anything from you, not unless you contact me directly. I was at level three when you woke up this morning, which is why I didnt wake until you called me, Kurt explained.
“If youre not physically with me when were at level three, then where are you?”
That depends. Sometimes Im just elsewhere doing my own thing. While other times, Im taking a break from my physical form, and just chilling.
“Excuse me, what?” Blaine muttered confusingly.
Kurts mental laughter filled Blaines ears and he wondered if they were still at level one and not two, would he be laughing too?
Thats just what I call it: chilling. You see Blaine, angels and demons normal form is nothing like what humans have depicted throughout the ages; angels arent beautiful humans with golden halos above their heads and large white bird wings, nor do demons have horns, cloven feet and long tails with a point at the end. Their true forms are a lot more... fuck I cant even describe it, because Ive never seen either myself truthfully. They both only take on forms that look human when they need to. But even then, neither race can keep those physical forms for very long, a few days at best. From what Ive been able to find out, the more energy they use, the quicker it burns up their physical shells, Kurt explained.
“Youre different though?” Blaine said.
Very good, Blaine, Kurt said with approval. I am. For some reason I can hold my physical form without any trouble. How much power I use doesnt factor in either, which is a nice break for once. I have no idea why that is though. I guess Im just an oddity, but whatever, Im here, they can go fuck themselves for all I care!
Blaine didnt need to read Kurts thought to know that the ‘them' he was referring to wasnt the human race. He also got the feeling that any dealings Kurt had with angels or demons hadnt gone very well.
Sorry, Kurt apologized, for yelling at Blaine when he had done nothing wrong.
“Dont worry about it. Thanks for explaining things to me. Now that I know how everything works basically, I would ask you not to go to level one without my permission and with level two, not without telling me first,” Blaine politely requested.
That sounds more than fair to me. Ill also let you know when Ill revert all the way to level three too. I think as time goes on, well get the hang of it pretty quick. That being said, Im going to come out okay? Since the lesson in levels is over with now.
“Go right ahead,” Blaine granted.
The was no way to for Blaine to anticipate it but when the precise moment that Kurts presence left him took place, the difference was quite noticeable. Just like the other two times, Blaine was left feeling empty inside, like a piece of himself was missing. Blaine was very glad that Kurt couldnt read his thoughts at the moment because they were beyond embarrassing. He watched Kurt reappear before him and the young mans grin sent shivers down Blaines spine. Why did he have to be that attractive? Kurt was the child of an angel though, and a demon – so Kurts mingling of beauty and handsome fit in a way.
Kurt wondered if Blaine realized just how much he was giving away with his slight grins and twinkling eyes. It was so obvious that he found Kurt attractive and as for what Kurt thought of Blaine, he was equally smitten, not only with his looks but his personality as well. It had all started when Kurt had first connected himself to Blaine. Too bad Blaine had been so brainwashed with religion – and stuck too far into denial -- that he hadnt felt the same spark.
The potentially awkward silence was broken with a quiet grumbling noise and Blaine embarrassingly brought his hand to his stomach.
Kurt laughed, “Hungry there, Blaine?”
“It would seem so,” Blaine said, bringing out his phone to confirm it was past his usual breakfast time.
“I could go for some food actually, and we cant very well have you starve, because what kind of friend would I be then?” Kurt remarked.
“Your physical body needs food too?”
“Yes, although I can go without it a lot longer than humans can, but whats the fun in that? Nourishment -- at least the good stuff out there – is too delicious a thing to deny myself. That being said; hows the food at this schools cafeteria?” Kurt asked.
There was no mistaking the sudden cause for Blaines smile to wipe from his face: panic – mixed with fear. Kurt did his best not to become offended when Blaine went so far as to stagger backwards. His nervous expression was priceless too.
“Or would you prefer to eat alone? Is that it?” Kurt asked coldly. His response was hardly mature but it was either that or ask him, Are you ashamed to be seem with me on campus?.
Blaine wished sitting with Kurt at the schools cafeteria wouldnt be anything to worry over, but he could already picture the stares, the whispered questions – all wondering who this young man could be and what was his connection to Blaine? Also, if he did go through with it, would Kurt behave and not sound so overly familiar with his tone? For that matter, would Blaine be able to resist using an equally friendly voice when he didnt even try to most of the time? There were just too many unknown risks, too many chances for people to misunderstand and unfortunately – telling the truth wasnt an option, because who would believe them?
“Look, if you want me to go then just tell me, Blaine. I hate when people string me along,” Kurt said.
“No I dont want you to go Kurt! I just dont think that taking you to the cafeteria is such a great idea,” Blaine muttered.
“Oh, Im sorry. I didnt realize you were forbidden to socialize with openly gay men,” Kurt said, his words cutting like ice.
Blaine snapped, “I am not!”
Kurt eyed him suspiciously. “Are you sure? Cause it seems like there should be a verse in the Bible about consorting with sodomites.”
“Will you please stop it! I just dont want anyone being impolite to you, Kurt. Not everyone is so accepting and people will surely talk. If thats all they did Id be more willing, but, Im worried things might escalate...”
“Its just breakfast Blaine, so I doubt anyone will really take notice. Ive lived among humans most of my life and not a single one has ever caught onto what I really am. Im not just talking about being gay, because yes at times to I do project it but only because I refused to hide who I am. People can judge me all they like; they can damn me to Hell or whatever they want, because no matter what they do or say, they cant touch me. I can take care of myself, Blaine.”
Blaine thrust his hands into his pants pockets and walked away from Kurt, but he didnt go very far. “Cant we just go eat someplace else?” he almost pleaded.
“You mean somewhere where Id be more accepted?”
“If you want to think that, go right ahead. Either way, eating here isnt in our best interest.”
Kurt narrowed his eyes. “Youre right, for all we know I could burst into flames the moment I cross the threshold of the cafeteria,” he said mockingly.
Blaine let out a tired sigh. “Kurt...”
“Okay fine. Far be it from me to keep arguing. How about we get some food to go and head back to my apartment. That way I can get a change of clothes.”
“You have an apartment?” Blaine asked surprisingly.
Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine; not this again. “Where else do you think I would live? In some dark cave? As if. My place isnt much but its still should suffice as a place that we can eat together without having to hide the nature of our relationship...” Kurt said, pausing to note Blaines little frown. “ I just mean how youve become friends with an angel-demon half-breed.”
There was just no helping it, staying angry with Kurt, even when their beliefs were so different, just wasnt possible. Blaine didnt feel like fighting with Kurt any way and it wasnt just due to how hungry he was either. “All right,” he said in defeat.
The decision made, Kurt headed towards the door but right when he was about to touch the nob Blaine grabbed for him.
“Wait!” Blaine shouted.
Kurt whipped his head around so he could give Blaine a judgmental glare. “Now what?”
“You cant just walk out of my dorm room with me like that. People are gonna notice,” Blaine pointed out.
Kurt could see how having people think Blaine hooked up with some guy last night wouldnt be anything hed want. “Okay, then Ill just head out with you on the inside,” he offered.
“At level two of course?” Blaine asked playfully.
Kurt scoffed, “Of course.”
This time with Blaines blessing, Kurt once again entered Blaines body and he withdrew back enough until he could no longer pick up Blaines thoughts. He kept quiet as Blaine gave his appearance one quick look over in the mirror before heading out of his dorm. Oh Lord. Blaine was walking like a man who was hiding something and Kurt made a mental sigh.
Um Blaine, maybe try acting a bit more natural?
It was less than twenty-four hours into their friendship and habits were already beginning to form. Blaine supposed this was a good thing, so he chose to embrace it. Loosing the tension in his shoulders, Blaine nonchalantly strolled down the hallways, smiling, addressing and nodding at people as they greeted him. Luckily no one tried to keep his attention for long so he was able to keep on the move.
My arent we Mr. Popular at school.
“That tends to happen when you try to be genuinely nice to people.”
That reminds me, when were chatting like this, you might want to start thinking your words instead of saying them out-loud. It will make you seem less crazy in case someone notices the guy talking to himself, Kurt advised.
Blaine frowned at Kurt. “But I thought you couldnt hear my thoughts at level two?” Did this mean that everything Kurt had told him was a lie? What if he could hear Kurts thoughts at any level and this was just a way for him to get Blaines guard down?
Theyre two different things, Blaine. Just give it a try and talk to me like you normally would but think it, dont say it. Trust me here.
Once Blaine was almost clear of the dorm building, he went off to the side to give himself enough privacy to focus. He looked around to make sure no one was watching him, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It all sounded simple enough and really, what was the harm in trying? The numerous possibilities came flying at him: what if Kurt wasnt who he said he was, what if Blaine was signing his life away without knowing it? Why else would someone like Kurt, who was an out gay nonhuman, want to even deal with someone like him.
Are you trying yet? If so then its not working so far. Try to project your thoughts towards me, Blaine, Kurt said, interrupting Blaines moment of doubt.
At hearing Kurts voice, any worry Blaine had about him was swiftly tossed aside. Whatever the risks were and no matter the many possible unknowns, for some reason, Blaine couldnt walk away from Kurt. Not after theyd just started to get to know each other and above all, he wanted them to become friends.
Im here, Blaine sent.
Good. I heard that loud and clear, Blaine.
Its like you said, I just needed to project my thoughts.
So any idea what you want? Kurt asked, meaning breakfast.
No, but thankfully, I have you now to help me decide.
Why do I get the feeling you dont just mean with food?
Blaines only reply to the playful accusation was for him to laugh, until he realized he was standing there chuckling to himself for no reason. Blaine shrugged it off and headed through the campus streets, whistling as he went – like Kurts calming presence had put an extra kick in his step. Quite the contrast to the state Blaine was in only one day ago.