Jan. 11, 2013, 2:42 p.m.
Another Time, Another Place: Chapter 41 ~Born this Way: Part 1~
E - Words: 9,026 - Last Updated: Jan 11, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 47/47 - Created: Feb 04, 2012 - Updated: Jan 11, 2013 329 0 0 0 0
~Born this Way: Part 1~
After living the seventeen years of Kurt's life so far, through its ups and his mind, far more many downs had proved anything, was that the world could be a cruel place. Try as he might, Kurt's plans to not let Karofsky's scare tactics to get to him were proving impossible as they days went on. It seemed the bully was making up for lost time and he wasn't merely resorting back to his old tricks, Dave Karofsky had upped his game. To the point where whenever Kurt was alone in the hallways he was pushed into a locker. That was something Kurt was no stranger to, and he took them and the homophobic slurs he heard daily in stride. It was the notes that scared him the worst, which made Kurt feel pathetic. Since normally they wouldn't have bothered him, but what the notes had scribbled on them were very hard to ignore. At the start of another day, Kurt was beginning to realize he was kidding himself if he thought he could get through it all without a show-down. Despite everything, Kurt wasn't a quitter and he pushed himself to face the confrontation head on this time, no matter what it brought. Kurt had no idea if standing up to Karofsky would help or hinder his plight but there was only one way to find out. Kurt got his chance when he was shoved hard from behind all of a sudden after stepping out of the washroom, crashing to the floor. Ignoring any pain, Kurt forced himself back up and turned to glare at Karofsky, hiding his fear well from his features. “Would you just stop with this?” Kurt shouted.
“Why should I when you're still here gaying things up, homo?” Karofsky taunted.
“I'm not going to stop being who I am, Karofsky. You think you'd realize that by now.” Kurt snapped.
Karofsky, who at this point had started to walk away, stopped in mid step and stormed back over towards Kurt, coming to tower over him. Kurt kept his ground by some amazing show of courage, but all that strength in Kurt only brought out David's own hidden insecurities and fear and made him act out with anger. “So go live it somewhere else, I'm sick of you and that midget of yours spreadin' your gay around. Like it's normal.” he sneered. “I'm just trying to get you to turn tail and run.”
Kurt found his emotions turning to anger and even when it was dangerous, Kurt wasn't about to back down and shy away, clearly that hadn’t worked so far. “Listen to yourself, Blaine and I aren't doing anything to provoke you. I mean, you can barely turn a corner without seeing some hetero couple sharing saliva. That's not what this is about and we both know it.” Kurt groaned. Anger was never the answer so Kurt tried to bring forth some genuine empathy to see how that would fair. “Look, I get it, you're mad...” Kurt began as he lowered his voice so there was no risk anyone would over hear. “But believe me... these feelings you have... they won't just go away. Hate is never the answer. The sooner you realize that... the sooner you can get through it.” Kurt offered.
It seemed that Karofsky wasn't willing to listen or take any of Kurt's kind advice to heart, instead he stuck to his game; denial. “I dunno what you're talking about, faggot. So don't go acting all high like and mighty. Take my advice and transfer, or I'm gonna make your life a living hell if you don't... and it won't just be you this time, lady-boy.” Karofsky warned.
Kurt's eyes flashed in alarm, what did that mean, was he going to go for Blaine to really hurt Kurt? “I honestly don't know why you left me alone for so long...” Kurt breathed, trying to change the subject to something less intimidating.
“The stupid deal's off.”
“What deal?”
“You wanna know? Go ask your little boy toy.” Dave whispered as he walked past Kurt and gave him one final shove. “I'm sure he has a lot to tell you.”
Kurt simply watched him go in amazement, frozen in place, almost forgetting how to breathe for one long moment. Finally he made his legs move and Kurt leaned against the wall, fighting to keep himself together. Somehow despite the terror Karofsky struck in Kurt, he could tell, deep underneath his cruel exterior, that he was terrified. Kurt wasn't about to reach out to him, not by a long shot, there was only so much one person could take. Kurt chose to focus on the new and confusing piece of information he now had about a deal Blaine was supposedly involved in. Wanting to know what that was all about allowed Kurt to forget about the rest, for the time being at least. The second Blaine and him were alone later that day, he knew a serious talk was in order. As much as Kurt hated to admit it, he might have to seriously consider leaving McKinley in order to feel truly safe and experience a violence free environment. He wanted life like that so badly, for himself and Blaine, the thought of missing his friends didn’t make him want it any less; Kurt hoped to think he deserved that and it wouldn't make him a coward.
The chance to do so ended up being delayed when Blaine was oddly late when it was the usual time they met up after class was finished. Kurt instantly became worried and his mind kept picturing horrible scenarios as the cause. Usually Blaine always managed to show up before Kurt that it was almost annoying. Wanting to get to the bottom of things and quick, Kurt brought out his phone and sent a hasty text message.
Where are you? Is something wrong?
In his anxiety, Kurt had decided to seek the calming sanctuary of the choir room, figuring running around the school with no direction would be futile. Instead he forced himself to calm down, sitting at the piano, playing a soft melody. It wasn't long before Kurt's salvation, in the form of a text from Blaine came and he let out a deep breath of relief.
Sorry, I'm heading to you now.
I'm in the choir room.
Gotcha.
Blaine’s awaited arrival came when he stepped slowly into the choir room and Kurt took one look at him, shot up from his chair and hurried over to his side. He now knew why Blaine had seemed less his chipper self even in text form. His boyfriend knew the second he saw Blaine, who was dressed in different clothes, something was up. It didn't take much to conclude why and how either, but Kurt got another clue in addition to the visual ones. “Blaine, why are you wearing something completely different... wait... and why do you smell like lemon?” he demanded, the urgency in his voice due to concern.
Blaine began to shuffle his feet awkwardly, his body language showing his discomfort, or hesitance rather. He wasn't use to hiding anything from Kurt, but then, he still didn't want to give him another thing to worry over. But then, lying wasn't an option in Blaine's mind either, so he let out a long breath in dismay. “I sort of... got slushied... again.” Blaine admitted. Knowing it would be futile to keep stalling and not regret it instantly.
Kurt let out a loud groan at the news, “What again? That's like... what, the third day in a row now!” Kurt grumbled in annoyance. Then as he thought on it further he got a horrible epiphany. “Hold on... first it was cherry, then orange and now lemon... oh lord! They're totally going through the whole rainbow!” Kurt blurted out.
“Oh yeah, I bet they are! Great, that means tomorrow will be lime. I still don’t know how they even found a lemon slushie. If only bullies would use their powers for good.” Blaine sighed, trying to lighten the sombre mood in the room with humour. One look at Kurt and his less than amused expression, Blaine saw it was no time for jokes. “Kurt, it's fine...” he began to insist.
“No, it's not fine, Blaine, this is scary! It time we fess up and talk it out, it's been long enough. Wouldn't you agree?”
“Yes, keeping everything to ourselves will do nothing, we should do what we always do. Talk to each other, let our trust help us figure things out. Let's go straight to my place and forget the Lima Bean?” Blaine suggested.
Kurt nodded, “Just let me stop at my locker and we'll head off and have a very long talk.” Kurt replied.
“We're of one mind, as per usual, handsome.” Blaine said playfully in response as he followed Kurt down the hallway. In truth, he was relieved to hear Kurt was ready to share, since he had been reaching his breaking point. To the point where Blaine had begun to feel guilty about keeping how he was being harassed by Karofsky now from his boyfriend. He had realized while keeping it from Kurt had been to save him grief, if Kurt found out about it and not from Blaine directly, it would make things even worse. This would be their chance to admit how serious things were becoming and figure out how to deal with it and in turn, support each other. Blaine knew Kurt's situation was far worse than his own and he felt so helpless. He was constantly worrying for Kurt's safety, it was so frustrating that there was nothing Blaine could do to stop it. His efforts before had only delayed things, in fact, his black mailing of Karofsky had probably made it worse in the end.
Kurt opened up his locker and a piece of paper fell out, landing on the floor in front of Blaine. Kurt rolled his eyes, of course he'd get one now, when Blaine would find it. But he was through with keeping it all in and this would be his first move towards redemption on that front. It seemed the universe was telling it was time to fess up.
Blaine bent down to retrieve the note and raised an eye at Kurt curiously. “What's this?” he asked.
“Probably another hate note, I've been getting those a lot.” Kurt admitted, sighing.
Blaine's eyes widened in alarm, “Seriously? Kurt, this is getting scary... can I read it?” he asked.
Kurt nodded and watched Blaine unfold the paper and his expression turned to shock. “Blaine, what does it say?”
Blaine knew it was pointless to deny the request, so he relented with no real resistance. “It says... 'Since you're going to hell anyway, get ready to experience it from now on. No homos allowed.' Kurt, I don't like this, not one bit.” Blaine said, his voice full of unease.
Kurt took the paper from Blaine's hand and ripped it up in anger, tossing it into the nearby garbage can. At first the notes hadn't bothered him enough to tell Blaine, but as they increased and got more hateful, it had turned to the opposite. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner.” Kurt began.
Blaine was in no mood to become a hypocrite and call Kurt out on his withholding vital information, since he was no saint either. “Well... if we're being brutally honest here, I've been keeping things from you too. But we'll get to that when we're at my place. Right now though, Kurt, I’ve got to ask, why haven't you told any of the faculty about these notes?” Blaine questioned.
Kurt closed his locker and took a deep breath, he had asked himself that same question many times before, but the answer was always the same. “Because nothing would happen if I did. I can't prove Karofsky wrote the notes, he even used a computer to print them.” Kurt muttered. “Blaine, this time... I don't think standing behind my friends will do the trick... I'm scared... and worried. About what could happen and the thought of transferring has been in my mind a lot this week.” Kurt admitted softly.
Blaine wanted to do nothing but gather Kurt up in his arms and keep him safe, but the school was far from empty and it wouldn't make things better. Instead he took Kurt's book-bag from him and urged his boyfriend to move, towards the parking-lot and Blaine's car. It was time to face everything and do it the right way, the 'Klaine' way. “Come on handsome, let's go have that long talk.” he commented.
Kurt, while feeling week knew it was the remedy they both needed, if not the solution to their concerns, breathed “I love you.”
____________________________________________________________________
Their bedrooms had always been a safe haven for the young couple, a place they could be at total ease and share every deep and personal thought, or in this case, fear. Any thoughts of romance or even sexual escapades were totally void from their minds. It was beyond the right time to offer each other comfort with touch. Sometimes, words worked better than the physical and this was one of those moments.
Blaine watched Kurt, who was sitting beside him and his body language revealed so much without the need to be vocal. In turn Blaine knew it was the same case for him at the moment. “I know we always say how we talk about everything... but right now, I got nothing.” Blaine admitted sheepishly. “There's too much...”
Kurt sighed, snuggling up a little closer to his boyfriend so their shoulders were touching. “Me too, we don't have to know, sweetie. Let's just... say what we're feeling right now and why.” Kurt offered.
“That usually tends to work, you go first then... I insist.” Blaine replied.
Kurt felt in no mood to argue. “Alright, I can do that. I think you can tell... even with me going into detail about it... but things with Karofsky are far worse this time. It's not like he's really doing anything different, he has turned to mind games, in addition to shoving me into lockers like before. I swear, it's like he's hiding around every corner, always there to push me down, physically or emotionally, with brute force or words. He's learned from last time too, he always keeps back just enough not to get caught. Seems Karofsky spent all that time when he left me alone to come up with a new battle plan... and the result of that is... well... not good.”
“It's my fault.” Blaine whined with remorse.
“What?”
“That Karofsky stopped harassing you for a while there... I sort of... talked to him right after you decided not to transfer.” Blaine admitted.
Kurt wasn't sure how to react to Blaine's confession at first, he had always been suspicious that Blaine might have been involved with Dave leaving him alone. But he hadn't been sure so Kurt didn't bother to confront Blaine about it, in case he was wrong. It was impossible to become angry or even annoyed at the news either, not with the guilty expression Blaine's face currently held. “What sort of talk?” Kurt asked softly.
There was no turning back now and Blaine didn't want to keep running. “About how he needed to stop focusing on you. I mean, I promised Burt I'd keep you safe, Kurt. It honestly was in Karofsky's best interest too, everyone in glee club was watching him like a hawk. So I went up to him and asked him to leave you alone.” Blaine explained.
“I have a feeling that didn't go to well.” Kurt concluded.
“No, so I was left with no other choice but to make it personal.” Blaine continued.
“I don't like the sound of this...” Kurt warned.
“Neither did I, but when he ignored my request I was left with no alternative. I'm not proud and I hated myself at that moment... but you mean that much to me, and there was no time to be polite. I told him if he didn't, I'd tell everyone... about the kiss.” Blaine finally finished.
Kurt's reaction was to blink at Blaine in shock, he never would have guessed Blaine could do a such thing. Actually threatened to out someone, yes his reason was for Kurt's sake, but he hadn't asked for him to do so. Not to mention how much danger Blaine could of put himself in. “You did what? Blaine, that’s sheer insanity! Don't even get me started on that threatening anyone just isn't you. What if he had retaliated? What if he had beaten you up? I... seriously don't know how to think about this right now.” Kurt fumed. He could no longer remain still, standing up to begin to pace back in forth in front of Blaine, who was still sitting on his bed. “I can't believe you.... what about what we said before? Blackmail is never the answer.” he grumbled.
Blaine watched helplessly as Kurt tried to vent his anger out, knowing it wouldn't be wise to stop him. “Kurt, look I'm sorry...” Blaine pleaded. “I know blackmail isn't right and I didn't want to go there... but, I didn't know what else to do! I was scared, for you... and I didn't want to just stand by and watch you suffer.” Blaine whimpered.
Hearing the near begging for forgiveness in Blaine made him sigh and he came to a stop. “Blaine, we are not the ones to blame here. I don't like what you did, but... I see why... and if the tables were turned... I honestly don't know what I would have done. If I was faced with such a hard choice. I don't believe in outing people, even ones like Dave, we've both heard the tragic stories before.” Kurt pointed out.
“I know, but you're not doing anything wrong. Why can't you just be the person you are, the one I love.” Blaine half sobbed.
Kurt came to sit upon Blaine's lap and kissed him, then continuing their heartfelt talk. “Blaine Anderson, this is not your fault, you hear me. All we should have done was be more honest with each other, right from the start. So no more blaming ourselves, we are going to get through this.” Kurt told him firmly. “Together.”
Blaine nodded, pulling himself together and finding his inner strength once more. “Tell me what you want to do, Kurt, honestly. I think you already know by this point.”
“What we want to do you...” Kurt began.
“No, forget about me right now.” Blaine argued.
Kurt looked at Blaine and in the safety of his warm embrace he gave in and admitted what his mind had made up already. “I... want to transfer to Dalton, Blaine... no, I don't want to... but I think I need to. I can't take this, not again, not time after time. I've tried to be brave and not run, to stick it out at McKinley and show everyone Kurt Hummel doesn't back down from hate. But I'm sick and tired of being scared all the time. When Karofsky was leaving me alone, I got a taste of what my life could be like and I want that life, Blaine. It was great but deep down even I knew it wasn't going to last. Turns out I was right and I hate that I was. I'm really going to miss everyone, all my friends, glee club... and going to Nationals. I can't stay here anymore, and I don't think I can remain strong for much longer. When we went to the Warblers benefit and I saw, how us being gay didn't matter. That we could just be who we were and not have to hide our love; I want what everyone else seems to have.” Kurt admitted.
“You do deserve it, Kurt, we all do.” Blaine whispered.
“Then I think how you're in as much danger as I am now... and... that makes me really scared. Karofsky must have realized, hurting you is the best way to get to me.” Kurt breathed.
“I haven't been... in any real danger. Sure, I've gotten the slushie and locker smashing treatment..” Blaine began to sputter off in defence and he saw Kurt give him the look and he sighed. “Okay... I'm scared too... it reminds me too much of what I faced in my old school before Dalton.” Blaine confessed.
Kurt saw the vulnerability in Blaine's eyes and he slid off of Blaine's lap, coming to rest at the end of the bed, his head and back resting against the bed-frame. “Come here, I need my Blaine-bear.” he urged, making grabby hands at his boyfriend, with big puppy dog eyes.
Blaine gave Kurt a weak smile and crawled into his outstretched arms, lying his back against Kurt's chest. “I like that new nick name.” he replied with a chuckle. The short moment of amusement was soon replaced with concern once more. “If that's what you need, Kurt, then there's no shame in that. It's your life; no one should judge you for wanting to be safe. Nobody in the New Directions did before, so they won't again. Neither will I.” Blaine pointed out. “Just, it goes without saying my answer from before still stands. If you transfer, I'm going with you.”
“I couldn't be brave enough to leave without you cutie, it's just... you coming with me... means you'll be running again.” Kurt began.
“No, don't start! You will not let me effect your decision. I won't be the reason you stayed. It would be far too much pressure. Not to mention, it would be like it's my fault that you were forced to suffer. I told you, forget about me for a second.” Blaine snapped.
“I don't know if I can forget you, Blaine, I can't... you mean that much to me.”
“If you love me, then don't deny yourself what you want.” Blaine pleaded.
“I don't want to leave McKinley Blaine, but... I don't think I have much choice.” Kurt sighed.
“Then transfer, Kurt, everyone will back your choice, starting with me. We'll have each other, same as always, no matter where we go.”
Kurt felt like his heart was beginning to melt from the warmth Blaine was causing in him, he felt so filled with so much love at that moment. “Fine, but just to be clear... is this what you truly want? Considering you just scolded me about making my own decision.” Kurt muttered.
“No, just like you said... I'd like to say, but I'm just as scared. I can't go through this again, or be forced to watch it happen to you. My choice all comes down to you, if you want to stay, well then I want to as well. Like before, we'll make it bearable; but we both know, this time that might not be enough. So let's transfer to Dalton, together, and we'll make sure neither one of us feels like we're being cowards.” Blaine said. “We'll still have each other and that's something to hold onto, don't you think?”
Kurt smiled and kissed the back of Blaine's neck, like he had done many times before. Blaine was right, it might not feel like the brave option, but for them, it was the best one to secure their safety. “And you say I'm the brave one.” he cooed.
“You are.” Blaine said softly. “So, when do we tell people?” Blaine asked. He wasn't looking forward to telling his parents, but he'd do it just the same.
Kurt sighed, “Let's wait a little longer, I mean I'm pretty much convinced at this point. But... just to be sure, I say we wait it out until the end of the week. Before we tell anyone at school we should tell our parents first, of course. I don't want to tell our friends or anyone if we get second thoughts. If something makes my mind up before then... well that will just make the decision that much easier.” Kurt explained.
“I'm with you on this, it's out best option. But... there might be something that could help you cope.” Blaine offered.
“And what is that?” Kurt asked with a smile.
“Music, you might not want to tell people in glee club about wanting to transfer. But you should try to show them how you're feeling right now and what you're going through. We both know the best way to admit the hard topics, emotional ones, is through song.” Blaine suggested.
“Like when I sang about when my dad was in the hospital?”
“Exactly, why don't we look for a good contender right now? Might be therapeutic by this point?”
Kurt's spirits began to return to him, “There's no need, I already know just the song. Here... let me show you.” Kurt countered. __________________________________________________________________________
At the start of glee club the following day, Kurt found little encouragement to stay at William McKinley, not with the drama unfolding in the choir room. Kurt was in no mood to be subject to a horribly offensive slewing of insults, all brought on when Rachel had entered the room, announcing she planned to get a noise job. Kurt had just gaped at her in shock, Blaine joining him, but there was no chance to argue, not before Santana got going. Kurt narrowed his eyes as she began to list everyone's faults and when Blaine was thrown into the fire, he was losing his patience.
“I bet Blaine's looked into taking growth hormones so his feet can touch the floor whenever he sits.” Santana rambled to everyone.
Kurt fumed at her and Blaine just muttered her was fine. “Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't slap some sense into her?” Kurt whispered to his boyfriend.
“Because she could kill you Kurt and easily, your life is too important.” Blaine whispered back.
“And you just know that Kurt's tried to tan his pasty ghost complexion under a lamp.” Santana added.
“Maybe if we do it together we can both take her.” Blaine whispered in anger.
“I'm way ahead of you cutie, you distract her while I hack off her ponytail.” Kurt grumbled.
Neither boy was being serious with their battle plans, since they had bigger problems and far more dangerous bullies to deal with. Nor did Kurt intend to forget about Rachel's ludicrous notion about getting a nose job. A problem he planned to deal with soon enough, right after he focused on his own dilemma for a moment. It was time to put Blaine's suggestion to the test, all he wanted to do was sing his heart out and possibly deal with the pain. When Mr. Schuester brought the discussion to a close, Kurt got his chance, bringing his hand to shoot up in the air.
“Mr. Schue, if I may?” he asked as he had done many times before.
“The discussion is finished, Kurt.” Will warned him.
Kurt rolled his eyes, of course no one had noticed his plight, aside from Blaine. “Yes, I'm well aware of that fact. This is different and I know it's oddly placed... but I couldn’t care less. I want to sing, right now, I'm trying to get through some difficulties in my life and it's helped before. I have no idea if it will this time, but I'd like to try.” Kurt explained.
Will was slightly taken aback by the news, proving he had been clueless to what Kurt was going through. That was partly his fault since Kurt had kept quiet on the matter for the most part, as did Blaine. But was it so impossible to think that some of his friends might have noticed? Well, it was time to wake them up, all of them.
“Uh... yeah, sure, Kurt, go right ahead.” Will stuttered in reply, trying to hide his awkward tone.
Kurt ignored the response and everyone else in the room, or he would have noticed their shared looks of concern mixed with confusion. His own expression was totally void of emotion, which was one of his defence mechanism, one he usually tried to avoid, as he made his way over to the piano. The song he had found wasn't well known or anything like his usual musical taste. But it described what he was feeling very well and he only hoped it would help. He felt no desire to explain why he wanted to sing or what he was going through. No disclaimer, he loved his friends but sometimes they didn't go the distance.
Blaine was forced to watch Kurt fight his inner turmoil and what he saw, nearly broke his heart. He knew others in the room might have noticed Kurt's blue mood from time to time, that they may have even bothered to ask if Kurt was okay; but when he casually told them he was, no one had bothered to press him further - to see he was lying. It didn't mean they didn't care about him, Blaine couldn't deny they didn't. It was proving to be hard to believe, in Blaine's mind, that this time, them banding together for Kurt's sake would be enough. Blaine swallowed down the lump of emotion that was forming in his throat and simply watched Kurt begin to sing. Like the night prior, Kurt's rendition of 'Shaken' by Shiny Toy Guns was hauntingly sad and brought up a well of emotion in him, causing his heart to ache.
Running in circles
Chasing pain
Of yesterday
Shaken... fearful
Because I've come
Back for what is trouble
Still...
I will wait it out, I will wait it out
I will wait it out
I will not be shaken
Strange calls to meet those
Who feel and know
How to give up
The stage lights
And heroes
Razor pain
Rubbed it all away, love
Still
Didn't notice it right away
Didn't notice it until it was too late
I'm gonna change my desire
For your all consuming fire
Didn't wanna cry out at night
Didn't wanna stop at mid flight
I didn't plan for the fall
When I was running from it all...
Have I no evil
Citizen Cain
Slowed-- my desperate running
Still....
Blaine couldn't help but watch the students around him and their reactions to Kurt's performance and he observed varied reactions. But everyone was moved by it and many, looked at their friend with remorse and sympathy and guilt. If the New Directions were unaware what hardships Kurt had been going through, well, they did now.
Little by little, each note, each verse of the song brought a bit more courage back to Kurt's tired body. It was slight and fleeting, but it renewed him all the same. To where by the end of the song, Kurt finally realized he had begun to cry. He might have felt somewhat healed from the emotional upheaval, but in his heart he knew. The bravery in him, was only enough to transfer to Dalton, not to remain and face the hate and he only hoped, he could live with that hard choice in the end.
_____________________________________________________________________________
'Okay singing that song did end up doing some good I guess. Now all my friends know what's happening to me. But... it's too little too late at this point. I don't want to tell them I'm going to transfer yet either.' Kurt thought to himself, deep in thought. He was surprised, but touched when some of his friends went so far to insist joining him and Blaine at their table at the Lima Bean. To get more details from Kurt, ones he didn't feel like answering just yet. It was making him very conflicted and he knew while he didn't want to talk about it, pushing away wasn't the answer either. So there he was, sitting beside Blaine, pressed up and close, their shoulder's touching, with Mercedes, Tina and Santana sitting across from them at the table. In his mind, Kurt couldn't think of anything they could say or do would change his mind not to transfer.
“So judging by that sob fest song you sang today, you're depressed?” Santana asked in her usual non tact way.
Kurt rolled his eyes, “Why Santana, that almost sounded considerate.” he answered in a sarcastic tone.
“You haven't said anything about you being so down, Kurt.” Mercedes told him.
“Why? Because it's too painful?” Tina asked with concerned.
Kurt glanced at Blaine, who nodded in support, oh well, there was no escaping it he supposed, he didn't want to lie. “Yes, actually. While you've all been worrying about your own lives and preparing for Nationals... Blaine and I have been facing a hate backlash from Karofsky. One you'd barely believe and it's worse than ever before.” Kurt sassed.
“I know we messed up with not noticing how bad it was for you guys... but...” Tina began to argue.
“I don't want to talk about it, I also don't blame any of you.” Kurt muttered weakly.
That reply wasn't enough for Santana it seemed, “Seriously! Why haven't you told Principal Figgins?” Santana demanded.
Kurt rolled his eyes, she was such a pain at times, he wished Rachel were here instead. “Because, nothing will happen if we do.” Kurt snapped.
“I think we all know how well that went the last time for Kurt.” Blaine chose to point out.
“But Kurt...” Mercedes began.
“No buts, it's too late now. Staying isn't an option I'm afraid this time.” Kurt said at point blank.
“Wait what?” Mercedes blurted out in shock.
“We're transferring, to Dalton, my minds pretty much made up by this point.” Kurt declared.
“And I agree with my boyfriend.” Blaine added.
“But Kurt, you and Blaine can't go, not when we're going to New York!” Mercedes said.
“We'd miss you guys so much!” Tina added.
“Isn't there any way you can stay at McKinley?” Mercedes asked.
“It's not like either of us want to leave and we wouldn't have to if it wasn't for Karofsky.” Blaine replied.
“Wait, what did you just say?” Santana suddenly asked.
“Kurt needs to be safe.” Blaine answered.
“We both need to be safe, Blaine, and can we please change the subject.” Kurt commented.
“I'm just saying that even if I weren't being targeted, you shouldn't have to face this at all.” Blaine interjected.
Kurt let out a long sigh, “Yeah well... I think we all know the world is rarely fair. I'm still going to wait till the end of the week to tell my dad. But... I doubt anything could change my mind, I'm stubborn after all.”
His three female friends seemed to realize there was no point in trying to sway him, or two rather, since it seemed Santana had long stopped listening, being off in her own little world. Leaving Mercedes and Tina to come around and offer their support for their friend.
Mercedes reached out to touch Kurt's hand for a second, only for him to pull away, proving he was in no mood to be coddled. “As much as we'll miss you Kurt, you too Blaine, everyone in glee club will understand. I know I do.” she assured the couple.
“Yeah, I mean we can only help you guys so much. You can't be protected everywhere at school.” Tina added.
Kurt felt his heavy mood began to lift and he managed to give them both a warm smile. Ignored Santana who was still starring off into distance, like she was lost in thought. “Thanks you, you're good friends.” he said.
“Just promise us if you do go to Dalton we'll still see you.” Mercedes said.
Blaine was glad the tension had broken enough so could laugh again. “Oh there's no danger there, I like having female friends now. Also being one of the underdogs, it feels like true kinship.”
“This isn't making having to transfer any easier..” Kurt complained.
Blaine nudged Kurt's shoulder gently, until he broke into a small smile. “You already know my minds made up, handsome. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right there... following you around like a love sick fool.” Blaine chuckled.
Kurt smirked and pulled Blaine's arm to drape around his shoulder, not caring what anyone thought about the small show of PDA. He knew this moment of amusement wouldn't last, soon the cold hard truth would be impossible to ignore. Come the end of the week, he'd be filling out a transfer form to Dalton, along side Blaine. Tuition would be hard, but Kurt already had a plan for that, he'd make the ultimate sacrifice, one just as worse as missing Nationals. There was simply no other option, not this time. Still, Kurt wasn't about to start another pity party, he welcomed the chance for humour. “Maybe we can drive to New York to watch Nationals?” Kurt suggested with a smirk.
“Don't tempt me, Kurt...” Blaine teased.
Santana suddenly chose that moment to snap out of her mysterious trance and stood up. “I gotta gay... go. I gotta go.” She stuttered off.
Blaine couldn't help but grin at her in amusement from the slip up, somehow managing not to laugh and face her wrath.
Kurt sighed but grabbed onto her hand before she could head off. “Wait Santana, can you keep this conversation to yourself? If you heard it. I don't want to tell anyone else in glee club yet.” Kurt requested.
Santana simply shrugged, “Sure, but don't throw in the towel yet, Hummel. Because things can change at a moment’s notice.” she replied with a wink.
Kurt eyed her suspiciously, not liking her look, she was up to something, but Kurt was in no mood to care. “Yeah right, what are the odds of that happening?” he grumbled sarcastically.
____________________________________________________________________________
As the days past and Kurt found himself sitting in the choir room for another day of glee club, where he felt like a ghost. He couldn't stop thinking how soon there would be two empty chairs in their place. But at least with Lauren joining the club, they would still have the needed twelve members and that made Kurt feel less guilty. These were the last few days he and Blaine would be as part of the team. No matter how welcoming Dalton and the Warblers could be, it didn't make the impending parting of ways all that easier to face. What did was the idea that Kurt would no longer flinch whenever someone got too close in the hallways.
Blaine caught on quickly to what Kurt must be thinking, only because he was on the same train of thought. His whole experience of transferring to McKinley had been interesting, far from mundane, actually down right dramatic at times. But he felt he truly belonged there, with Kurt, not just as his boyfriend, but as a valued member of the team. That being said, he still held firm that there was no real choice but to transfer, their safety had to be the priority. Blaine leaned over to Kurt and caught his hand, giving it a light squeeze. “You hanging in there, handsome?” he whispered.
Kurt simply nodded, but he was unsure if that was the honest answer. He simply chose not deal with it yet, since his true reaction would have been noticed. Mr Schuester entered the room, with Miss Pillsbury in tow and everyone exchanged confused looks. Will stepped over to the white board to begin the week’s lesson, giving them a clue, writing the word 'acceptance'. But when the room remained silent, Finn chose to get the bottom on things, raising his hand up.
“Um, why's Miss Pillsbury here?” Finn asked.
At the question, Will turned to face his students. “She's helping us out with this week’s assignment.” he answered. “Now this is the only club at school that's represented by... just about every race, religion, sexual orientation and clique But many of you are still having a hard time with acceptance.” he explained to them all.
“That's crazy, Mr. Schue, we love each other.” Mercedes commented.
“It's the first thing I noticed when I got here.” Blaine added.
“Now I won't deny that you accept each other, but, you don't accept yourselves. This week’s assignment has two parts; I want all of you to sing songs about accepting yourself for who you are. The best and the worst parts.” Will said.
“What's the second part?” Rachel asked.
“Well we're gonna do a group number by the queen of self-love, Gaga.” Will answered with an smile.
No matter how melancholy Kurt might be feeling, there was no way he couldn't get excited at the news. He didn't hesitate to join along as a number of students began to clap and cheer in approval. It meant that Kurt and Blaine would get to leave on a very high note. Weather that would make it easier or harder to leave, was undetermined so far. If anything he was glad he had chose to wait until the end of the week to transfer.
“We're gonna perform her anthem to acceptance, Born This Way.” Will added.
“That's like my theme song!” Kurt shouted out happily.
Blaine laughed and rubbed Kurt's back affectionately at how cute he was being. “You're so adorable.” he whispered.
“Wait, wait, I still don't know why Miss. Pillsbury is here.” Finn reminded Will.
“I'm here to help you with your costumes for the big number. Each of you will be issued a beautifully fitted white t-shirt. We will then use this letter press, to write a word or a phrase that best describes the thing about you that you’re the most ashamed of. Or that you'd like to change but you can't. Because you were born that way, which is super terrific.” Emma explained to them.
“I want you to love those parts about you, y'know embrace them, share them on your chest with pride.” Will said.
“Can you give us an example?” Mike asked.
By the time Emma had revealed her own shirt, with 'Ginger' written and continued to explain why she had chosen that word. Kurt began to let his mind wander once more, not bothering to think too hard about how she obviously wasn't being fully honest with herself. Kurt didn't feel selfish about returning to his own thoughts, not this time. He had realized the chance to sing Born this Way, would be a perfect final act before the curtain closed on his life as a student at William McKinley High; a final show of defiance to the homophobes and haters of the world. Kurt had long accepted he was different and the reason why, was a badge he was ready to wear with pride. The things that made you different, also made you unique and the road to acceptance was the road to take.
______________________________________________________________________________
Life was coming around full circle for Kurt and Blaine, sitting in Blaine's bedroom, as they worked on their final assignment as members of the New Directions. They would both miss that, since long before Blaine himself had transferred, working on the weekly assignment had almost become a tradition for the pair. They were both determined to enjoy themselves and help each other like it was any other week and so far, Kurt was ahead of his boyfriend for the lesson.
“Well, I already know what my shirt will say.” Kurt muttered as he wrote the words out in his note book, turning it around to show Blaine his handy work with a big grin.
Blaine leaned forward from his spot on the bed to read what Kurt had written and he smiled. “Likes boys?” he asked with amusement.
Kurt nodded and went back to brain storming, Blaine simply watching him as he puttered around in thought. “You’ve got to admit, it's the best choice for me. It took me a while to be brave enough to come out of the closet, accept that I was gay and more so, decide I didn't want to hide anymore. I'm proud of how I've come to embrace it, even with the negative side effects in my life. I'm not denying who I am, or hiding whom I love.” Kurt explained. He paused to see Blaine beaming at him with adoration and he gave him his come hither look. “And I for one, am glad I ended up being gay, because it lead me to finding and coming to fall in love with you, Blaine.” he gushed, leaning in to give his boyfriend a tender kiss.
Blaine gave Kurt his most charming smile and celebrated the fact by kissing him, wrapping his hands around Kurt's waist. “I'm sure glad you were born this way, baby. Your choice is a good one... but...”
Kurt heard the hesitation in Blaine's voice, and he wasn't about to let it slide. “But what, cutie? Did you want to use it too? There's no rule that two people can't have the same phrase.” Kurt pointed out.
“No, that's not it, I mean yes coming out was hard... but I dunno...” Blaine began to struggle.
“Blaine, if you don't think you being gay is what you should use, it doesn't mean you think I'm less brave in retrospect. I already know for you, admitting you were gay was the easy part, as was telling people. What got difficult... was accepting how others reactions changed, am I right?”
Blaine rewarded Kurt's getting him exactly with a short make out break, then he resumed their talk. “I love you, so much, Kurt. You just get me... yes that's it exactly. I don't thinking me 'liking boys' is what I want my shirt to say. The trouble is... I'm not sure what it should...”
“Blaine sweetie, it's not like there's going to be a test on this. You are taking this too seriously, I mean Finn told me his shirts gonna be 'Can't Dance' so you don't have to get super deep.” Kurt assured him.
Blaine smiled as Kurt began to playfully kiss his neck. “Yeah I know... I just need to think about it for a while.”
“Hmmm, should I stop this, so you can think?” Kurt murmured as he paused his caresses.
“Oh fuck no!” Blaine blurted out.
“Maybe I'll end up inspiring you...” Kurt almost purred as he returned his mouth to Blaine's neck and began to suck on it once more.
“Why don't we find out.” Blaine suggested as he ran his hands down Kurt's sides softly. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Later that evening, when it had gotten late enough that the young couple had to part, Kurt had just finished his night-time skin routine, when his cell phone rang. Kurt shook his head with amusement, he had been planning to call Blaine, but of course his boyfriend beat him to it. Despite the late hour, Kurt proved how perky he was when he hit the answer button on his phone.
“Why hello there, cutie.” Kurt chimed in greeting.
“Hiya handsome, god I love the sound of your voice.” Blaine declared with a dreamy sigh.
“So any ideas for your shirt?”
“Uh... not really so I think I'll just go with the old fail safe, my height, or lack thereof.”
“Oh honey, I love you no matter what size you are.” Kurt said lovingly.
“Change the size part to height and I'm liking what I hear.”
Kurt let out a throaty laugh, instantly getting what Blaine meant. “You know I didn't mean it like that you goober!” he chuckled. Turning his attention back to aiding his boyfriend's little conundrum, he began to ponder the next part of the assignment. “Well if you're going to go with that... finding a song about being short and embracing it, might be tough. Almost as hard as finding a positive song about being gay.” Kurt pointed out.
“Oh god, you're right! This is gonna be a tough week.”
“But still an enjoyable one, since you know I love a good challenge... and it's a fitting ending.”
“You're sticking to your decision to transfer then?”
“Yes, something happened to elevate things Blaine... Karofsky tried to trip me at the top of the stairs today.” Kurt admitted with a groan.
“He did what?” Blaine blurted out in shock. “Kurt, we need to report this! Sure it might not do anything in the long run... but... even if we're transferring. What if Karofsky just re-directs his hate to someone new?” Blaine concluded.
Kurt let out a tired sigh, he hadn't thought of that, he had been too focused on his own problems. “You're right, when I go to announce my transfer and fill out the forms... I'll tell Principal Figgins why. I also ask the New Directions to keep an eye on Karofsky for that possibility, I know they'll be willing.” Kurt suggested.
“Sounds good to me and I'm still supporting us transferring 100% Kurt. As much as I'll miss everyone, but...” Blaine began but he couldn't find the proper words, so he gave up, changing the subject. “When will you tell your dad?” he asked instead.
“I'll talk to him tomorrow after school.” Kurt answered.
_________________________________________________________________________
Kurt got another treat to lift his spirits during their final week of glee club, when he had the pleasure of watching Blaine dance with Finn and Mike during his step-brother's number for the assignment. All the while during the performance, Kurt's eyes never left his boyfriend's frame, no matter how much he danced around. Kurt was truly grateful he didn't have to face the prospects of being separated from Blaine. After his transferring from Dalton to McKinley, Kurt had become too accustomed to sharing his school days with his cutie. He still felt guilty though, about inadvertently causing his boyfriend to run back to Dalton, even when, deep down, he was relieved. Because as hard as leaving all his friends would prove to be, he'd still have Blaine, and that was what would make the difference, make it bearable, like it had been during the school year so far. By this point Kurt's inner thoughts were interrupted when the song was over and Blaine didn't return to his seat. Kurt knew why of course, Blaine's own performance was next. At Blaine's insistence, they hadn't told each other what their song choice was and Kurt felt anxious in wanting to know.
Before Blaine could take his turn, Rachel, true to her diva nature, stepped up to interrupt, announcing she was indeed getting a nose job. Kurt stared at her in disbelief, his mouth hanging open. He had almost forgotten Rachel's insanity and that wouldn't do. No, it was clear that an intervention was needed and there was no way Kurt would let himself leave before he fixed it, or at least tried his best to. He saw Blaine giving him an alarmed look and Kurt simply nodded, mouthing 'leave it to me.'
After Mr. Schuester's attempts to sway Rachel's stubborn mind failed miserably, along with everyone else in the room. Giving up, for now, they left her alone and Will chose to move the class along, turning to face Blaine, who was still standing out on the open floor. “Okay then.... Blaine, you're up next.” he urged.
Blaine was more than ready to get to singing, as like with Kurt, it always helped get his feelings across. He addressed the crowd and ignored the nagging fact that soon, he wouldn't get the chance to do so anymore. “Well... after having a bit of trouble of what to pick for my phrase... the answer was always there I suppose. I mean, take a look at me and you can clearly see... I'm lacking in the height department. It's not like I'm even that short... not really... as far as averages go. But since joining the New Directions and how freakishly tall all the guys in here are... it creates quite the contrast for me. To the point where I think I feel even shorter now. I need to accept that... this is who I am and if I'm only 5'8 in a room of guys all over 5'10, well... then so be it.” Blaine explained, noting the smiles of amusement or light laughter from his wording.
“Hey, we're pretty much the same height, Blaine, you just can't tell with the chair is all.” Artie suddenly commenting, causing a break out of laughter.
“Thanks, Artie, that proves my point, there's no use worrying over it. Unlike Rachel's... hasty choice... I can't really make my myself taller through surgery. So instead, I choose to accept I was born this way. I'd like to think, what I lack in height, I make up in energy and charisma.” Blaine said smoothly. “...and my voice.” he added with a grin.
“Well I for one know you do!” Kurt told him with affection.
“And thank you, Kurt, now onto the song. I need to note it was very difficult to find a song about being short... let alone one that would be in context. In the end I'm not sure if I really succeeded but I'm happy with the route I went. Here's hoping you'll all agree.” Blaine rambled and he finished his little disclaimer and switched into performer mode and the transition was seamless.
Kurt, ever watching his boyfriend, let out a silent gasp as the air left his lungs, when the music started. Trust Blaine, in his normal virtuous nature, to choose something that would relate to Kurt's situation and give him support. He did this by singing Little Wonders, by Rob Thomas.
Let it go, Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know The hardest part is over
Let it in, Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels
Our lives are made In these small hours
These little wonders, These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away, But these small hours, These small hours still remain
Let it slide, Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain
The tears began to fall well into the first verse, but Kurt hardly cared, he was that moved by the gesture. Sure it might not really pertain to the message of being vertically challenged, but in Kurt's venerable mind, that hardly mattered. What did matter was there was no denying the message spoke with everyone in the room, on some level. He knew Blaine had chosen the number to give him encouragement and he got the message loud and clear. Wiping his damp cheeks, Kurt took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. As their eyes met, the love between them was visible and registered in their minds. Whatever happened, no matter where they went, they'd go together and face the world, because in the end, love trumps hate.