Lima, Ohio September 2012

Say good-bye to not knowing when

Kurt has only been gone for a month and Blaine's positive the last month has has been the longest and hardest month of his life. Sure, he had been beaten, bruised and ridiculed his whole life but for the last year he has had Kurt. And Kurt was his beacon of hope. Like a lighthouse he always guided him in the right direction. He gave him advice, held him when he was lonely, and made him smile when the world was screaming at him to frown. Blaine always preached to Kurt about courage, but the truth is Kurt was way more courageous then him. And he needed Kurt to keep him from cowardly avoiding his demons.

The truth in my whole life began

And then there was McKinley. When Blaine transferred Kurt and him were able to persevere through the stares and whispered comments because they had each other. Kurt's old bullies were still there but their love created a shield from it. They ignored the comments because they knew what they had was true love and it ten years when they were happily married with two kids and the Jock was working eight hour days and coping with an alcohol addiction, they would laugh knowing their suffering was worth it.

Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry

But now Kurt is gone and those ghosts hidden in the corners were upsetting him around every corner. He stood tall but it was hard when people were sneering at him. Asking him how it felt to be alone. Telling him his boyfriend was probably off fucking someone else and didn't even remember him. Even though he knew Kurt would never do that, it still got to him. Every jab feeling like a punch to the gut.

You taught me that

New Directions realized something was wrong and everyone tried to cheer him up in different ways. The only person who really understood though was Tina. Mike was also off in New York pursuing a career in dancing. So he was not surprised when she came and sat next to him one week during Glee.

He turned to acknowledge her and was happy to see a smile on her face. "You look extra happy today. What's up?" he asked.

"I just got off the phone with Mike. He called me to tell me how much he missed me." she exclaimed, grinning ear to ear.

"That's great." he said half heartdly looking away from her. He really wanted to be happy for him but it was hard when Kurt had not called him in two days.

He felt Tina place his hands on his shoulders and as a natural reaction to touch he flinched. "Blaine, you don't have to pretend to be happy around me. You don't have to keep up those walls. I understand what you are going through and I feel your pain. You need to have a friend here and I can be that friend." exlplained Tina.

Blaine jerked away. Hiding from her, he whispered. "I just, I cant, I don't want to be a burden." He didn't mean to say that but Blaine was learning that sometimes you just can't hold your feelings in anymore and lately he was speaking his mind more and more. If he was honest with himself it was something he learned from Kurt.

Tina moved in closer to Blaine and Blaine felt her place one hand on his knee and heard her snap her fingers making him turn around and look at her. Once he was looking at him her demeanor changed, she became mother like, talking in soft tones. "Blaine, you are not a burden to me please don't think that way. Yes, I am having a good day but you are have a bad day. And we have to be willing to talk to each other about how we are feeling good or bad. Both of our boyfriends are off in New York thousands of miles away, who else do we have. I am not saying I want to be a replacement, I am just saying that maybe trusting each other and being friends will make things a little easier."

Blaine sighed. As much as he hated opening himself up, he really could use a friend. "You know what Tina you may be right." he agreed placing his hand over the one Tina had laid on his knee. At his agreement Tina's face lit up and he was happy that he was the reason for that smile. Because if he couldn't be happy, he really wanted her to be because she deserved it.

So every week he went with Tina for coffee at anywhere but the Lima Bean. The Lima Bean held two many memories. It was his sacred place and Blaine did not want to ruin that with memories of being alone. They would talk about each others triumphs and strife, weakness and assets confiding in each other the secrets that only their significant others knew. Blaine was really glad he began opening up to her because it was nice to have a friend and even though the pain in his gut from Kurt leaving still remained it was dulled by the fact that he was no longer alone.

And I'll remember the strength that you gave me

New York City September 2012

Kurt loved New York. He loved his dingy dorm room, his messy room mate, his strict teachers and his massive workload. All the things he would normally despise were candy coated because he was in this new, wonderful city. There was so much to discover and while he missed and thought about Blaine, sometimes Blaine wasn't the first thing on his mind. He missed him but he was not miserable.

Now that I'm standing on my own

It was impossible to be miserable when he could finally be himself. New York allowed him to be everything he couldn't be in Lima. His voice, while still unusual, was not a point of ridicule, his fashion wasn't too loud, and his sexuality was completely normal. He created this whole new life in New York without changing who he was. Kurt was so excited for Blaine to meet all of his new friends and to take him to every place he fell in love. Kurt would always snap a little picture of these places and send them to Blaine. He even found a cafe that reminded him of The Lima Bean. And when he found it he snapped a picture and texted Blaine the picture adding "Can't wait to spend breaks between classes here with you xo Kurt."

I'll remember the way that you saved me

The only problem was that sometimes he was so busy that he Skyping Blaine became a chore. That's why as he walked into his room late September after a ridiculous lecture on Solfege he was annoyed to hear the beep of his computer, signaling that Blaine was calling. As much as he missed Blaine, he really just wanted to finish writing the 5 page essay he had due for his Musical Theory class tomorrow. Kurt sighed as he gently unwound the scarf around his neck and unbuttoned his coat, setting them down on his desk chair. Before he answered the call, he plastered a fake smile so Blaine couldn't tell he was really feeling.

"Hey, B!" Kurt exclaimed as he watched Blaine's image appear on his screen. Kurt was pleased to see Blaine looking in better spirits than he had been in the last few days. "How are you?"

"Better today actually." Kurt heard as Blaine's voiced cackled out of his speakers. Kurt watched as Blaine subconsciously ran his hand through his un-gelled hair. Kurt's annoyance slowly faded away at this gesture, relishing in actually getting to see Blaine and his habits. All he wanted was to Blaine to be with him in New York. "Did you just come from outside? you look flushed." asked Blaine.

"Yeah, I had to walk back from my Theory lecture, its chilly out in New York." he replied.

"I know you will hate me for saying this Kurt but I love when your hair is wind blown and your cheeks are pink. The way you look now reminds me of the way you looked this summer. Flushed for a different reason. God I miss this summer." Blaine awkwardly stated. Him and Blaine still hadn't gotten the hand of the webcam flirting. Regardless, his cheeks blushed even pinker as he thought of all the late nights spent together over the past summer, tangled under the sheets, limbs intertwined, breathing uneven, and caught up in each other, not caring or thinking what the outside world thinks. It was in this moment and the remainder of the conversation, that Kurt decided that Blaine was worth the trouble. Yes, the distance sucked and nothing was going to change that but without Blaine he wasn't complete. Kurt decided that he would do everything in his power to make this work.

Unfortunately,sometimes regardless of bonds shared, distance tears two people apart and this was a lesson Kurt and Blaine were going to have to learn.