About a week and a half after Jared approached Kurt at the graveyard, he finally talked to Blaine when he saw him at the Lima Bean after school. Kurt had to talk to Miss. Pillsbury about his application to UCLA since it was later than most of the other students who had applied there. He still beat the deadline but he wanted to make sure that his admission video was amazing (Miss. Pillsbury suggested that he doing something to make his application pop). Blaine was going to meet Kurt back at his house after the meeting so he thought that he would get some coffee to pass the time.

“Hey Blaine.” Jared walked up behind Blaine in line and spoke softly. Blaine couldn’t help but jump slightly when he heard the voice all of a sudden and turned around before smiling brightly at the boy.

“Hey Jared! What’s up?” He asked as he walked backwards in line, so that he moved towards the counter but was still facing the blonde boy. Blaine wondered if this was what Kurt was talking about and if Jared was finally going to talk to him about Anthony.

“I was just wondering if you were free to talk about some stuff. If not that’s cool, I totally understand that I just kinda appeared but yeah…” He shrugged and looked down at his feet nervously. Blaine reached out and placed his hand reassuringly on his shoulder.

“Of course we can talk Jared! Let’s just get our drink and sit down okay?” Blaine questioned him and Jared nodded his head smiling slightly at the shorter boy. They ordered their drinks, Blaine paying for both of them (“No Jared! I got this don’t worry about it!”) and waited for their names to be called before heading over to a table in the corner.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Blaine asked stirring his cinnamon into his drink. Jared fiddled nervously with the top of his cup, still not meeting Blaine’s eyes.

“Well I was hoping we could talk about um…“ He trailed off, chancing a glance at the older boy. He cleared his throat and tried again, “I wanted to have someone to talk to about Anthony. And since you are one of the few people here who knew him, I was hoping that I could talk to you about him. I mean I understand if you feel uncomfortable since he you know cheated on you and stuff but I don’t really have anyone else here who even knew who he was so….” He stopped talking, taking a long drink of his coffee. Blaine reached out and put his hand on top of Jared’s, attempting to comfort his ex’s brother.

“I understand Jared. I would be glad to talk to you about Anthony but I need you to understand that it may be hard for me sometimes too. It will probably be worse for you, I mean you are his brother, but I did think I was in love with him at one time. I was heartbroken when he cheated on me. But I am more than happy to be the one you talk to about him.” Blaine squeezed Jared’s hand and smiled at him, trying to let him know silently that he was open to talk to him.

“Yeah but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, especially with what I did with you and Kurt earlier, which I am extremely sorry for once again!” Blaine waved it off, letting Jared know that it was in the past, “But yeah I just want to be able to talk about who he was and how much I miss him and stuff.”

“Alright! What do you want to talk about first?” Blaine smiled and clapped his hands in a way very reminiscent of Kurt. He quickly grabbed his phone and sent Kurt a text under the table so that Jared didn’t feel like he was being ignored.

Blaine: Hey! You were right. Jared wants to talk to me about Anthony. I may be a little late coming to your house. Love you xx

“Well it was going to be his 21st birthday next year. I don’t know why I started thinking about that. Maybe cause now would be the time we would start planning? I don’t know, we would always talk about what he was going to do for that birthday, since it was such a big one, and how he would sneak me drinks at restaurants and provide me with alcohol for any parties I wanted to throw or something. It was a joke we had that when he turned 21 me and him would go to Vegas and he would rent out a penthouse and we would get a bunch of gay strippers and just have fun. I guess that I am just kind of realizing that that is never going to happen.” Jared sighed and put his head in his hands, “It just hit me harder coming back to Ohio and seeing the people that he may have interacted with.”

“Plus it is going to be June in less than 4 months. That has to be hard for you right?” Blaine didn’t want to admit but June 17th was always a hard day for himself as well. He always felt responsible and it would just crash down on him that day.

“Yeah that is always a really bad day. I just relive finding him in the bathroom, blood everywhere, him pale and eyes open the entire day.” Blaine had to close his eyes and take a deep breath as Jared continued to talk about the day that Anthony died. He knew that he killed himself but that was about it. Hearing it described in such detail made him nauseous. He stood up abruptly and grabbed his messenger bag.

“Sorry Jared. I need to go. We can talk later. You have my number. Let me know when you are free sometime.” With that Blaine rushed out of the Lima Bean, leaving his half drunken coffee on the table and Jared staring after him, shocked. As he watched Blaine drive away he couldn’t help but let a smirk cover his face. He was surprised how easily he was able to get Blaine to talk to him and how easily he was able to get Blaine to break. He reached into his backpack, pulled out a book and flipped it open, reading leisurely and drinking his coffee slowly.

Blaine quickly drove over to Kurt’s house and sighed in relief when he saw Kurt’s Navigator parked in the driveway. He quickly parked by the curb and dashed up to the front door, knocking frantically. Kurt opened the door smiling, but quickly frowned when he saw that Blaine looked close to tears.

“Blaine? What’s wrong?” Kurt wrapped his arms around his boyfriend when he leaned forward into his body. “What happened?” Worry was evident in Kurt’s voice and that was all it took for Blaine to break down. Kurt could feel the hot tears on his neck before he realized that Blaine was crying.

He led Blaine inside, closing the door with his foot behind them, and up the stairs to his bedroom. Burt passed them on his way down and opened his mouth, about to warn them to keep the door open, but one look at Blaine’s face he stopped in his tracks. Kurt shook his head at him and led Blaine into his bedroom, closing the door mostly with only a slight crack.

“Babe, what happened? Did Jared do something?” Kurt rubbed his hand up and down Blaine’s back allowing the boy to sob into his shoulder, for once not caring about his clothes (even if it was Alexander McQueen). After a few more moments the sobs got quieter and the tears stopped falling.

“Sorry about that” Blaine sniffed, wiping the tear tracks off of his face. “I swear I didn’t mean to cry when I came over” Kurt reached over and grabbed a tissue and took over wiping the tears off.

“It’s fine Blaine. Just… what happened? What made you cry?” Blaine could hear Kurt’s voice getting angrier. “I got a text that you were going to hang out with Jared and then not more than an hour later, you come home crying, and aren’t even able to tell me why.” Blaine couldn’t help but smile when he heard Kurt calling his house Blaine’s home as well.

“It wasn’t Jared’s fault really…” He sighed resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder, “I mean he was just telling me about Anthony and about how he misses him. I was the idiot that brought up June. I was the one that made him think about the day his brother died. I should have expected him to talk about it after that.”

“What do you mean talk about it?” Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair, messing up the gel and playing with the curls. The shorter boy hummed contently, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“He was just explaining what it was like walking into the bathroom and seeing his brother dead, covered in blood, eyes open and glazed over…” Blaine’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I knew what happened to Anthony in theory, but to hear the details, I don’t know. I mean I know it’s my fault and this was just a way that I was reminded that it was all my fault…”

“Blaine! Look at me” Blaine lifted his head weakly and looked up at his boyfriend. “It was not your fault that Anthony did what he did. He cheated on you so you broke up with him. No self-respecting person would do anything different than what you did. He was the one who decided that he wanted to end his life. Not you. You didn’t make him die. You were not the one who forced him to take that bottle of aspirin or to cut himself. He did that all his own.” Blaine shrugged in response.

“Yeah but maybe if I had let him explain then it would have never happened. He could still be alive…” Blaine looked back down at his lap, gripping Kurt’s hand in his own.

“And you could still be together.” Kurt ripped his hand away from Blaine’s and Blaine looked up shocked. “Are you sad because you feel like it was your fault and hearing the details just made that more clear or are you sad that you aren’t still with him?” Kurt’s voice was harsh. He knew he shouldn’t be jumping to these conclusions but he couldn’t help it.

“No Kurt! No! I love you! I just wish that he didn’t feel the need to kill himself after it was all done. I just wish that maybe we would have been able to work it out and be friends. Don’t even say that. I love you and I will always love you!” Blaine took both of Kurt’s hands in his own and held them to his chest. He felt Kurt’s body relax and drew him in for a tight hug, pleased when Kurt hugged him back just as tightly.

“I love you too and I know I shouldn’t jump to these conclusions but sometimes I just can’t help but feel like you can do so much better than me.” He ducked his head into Blaine’s neck, kissing it softly.

“Never Kurt. You are amazing.” Blaine pulled back and met Kurt’s lips with his own. The kiss was short but meaningful.

They spent the rest of the time before dinner just lying together on the bed, limbs entangled, only moving when Finn came in to get them for dinner. They ate quickly and went back to their positions until Blaine had to go back to his parent’s house talking about everything.

When 11 o’clock came they reluctantly parted and Kurt walked Blaine to the front door.

“I am still going to talk to Jared if he approaches me again. I should probably apologize for my behavior today anyway.” Blaine took a step outside before turning around and facing Kurt who was leaning against the doorframe.

“I think that’s a good idea. I will see you tomorrow at school.” They kissed quickly, knowing that Burt was lurking in the living room.

“See you tomorrow then.” Blaine walked to his car waving to Kurt as he back out the parking lot. Kurt waved back smiling but as soon as the car turned the corner he couldn’t help but let a frown cover his face. Something felt off but he couldn’t place his finger on it. Deciding to see if the feeling was still there tomorrow he went upstairs, calling a goodnight to his parents and Finn, and got ready for bed.