He couldn’t help but think about the day that his parents told him that his mom was going to die as he climbed in the shower and let the few tears that escaped slip down his cheeks. He took his shower slowly and only got out once the warm water turned cold. He picked out the perfect ensemble for seeing his mother, he wanted to impress her, and quickly dressed before heading downstairs.

He was glad that Finn was already at school and Carole had most likely headed to the hospital already. As he walked into the kitchen he saw his dad sitting quietly at the table. He walked over to him and leaned down to give him a hug.

Burt had tear streaks covering his face and gladly held his son tightly for a few moments. He was not an emotional guy but today was one day that he allowed his son to see exactly how he felt. He tried to hide it when Kurt was younger but eventually Kurt asked, very bluntly, why didn’t he miss mommy and should he (Kurt) not miss her either? After that Burt was not afraid to show his son that it was okay to miss his mother.

“How are you holding up bud?” Burt asked his son as Kurt walked towards to refrigerator and grabbed a grapefruit. Kurt didn’t bother turning around and just shrugged. Burt was used to Kurt not talking this time of year so he didn’t mind.

“You going to go visit your mom?” Kurt walked over and was sitting across from his dad picking at his breakfast.

“Yeah what about you?” Kurt knew that sometimes it was just too hard for Burt to go to Elizabeth’s gravesite and if that was the case Kurt would normally bring some extra flowers from Burt.

“I don’t know. Maybe later tonight” Burt went back to sipping his coffee (decaf) and the Hummel men sat in silence as they finished up their food. Kurt stood and put his dishes away.

“I will see you later Dad. “ Burt waved as Kurt walked out of the room and towards the front door. Kurt put on a light jacket and headed out towards his car and began the drive to the flower shop that knew he was coming. As he pulled into the parking lot he forced himself to just stop and breathe for a moment.

The little bell over the door rang as he walked ain and he glared at it. How dare it sound so cheerful on a day like today. “Hey Kurt” Marie yelled at him from behind the counter and Kurt gave her a weak wave. “Your normal?” Kurt nodded and reply and Marie went to the back room and grabbed a bouquet of a dozen lilies. Kurt handed over the money he owed and turned back to the door.

“Thanks Marie” He said softly and walked through the door. She waved back to him and he got back in his car setting down the flowers carefully. He drove quickly to the cemetery and walked up towards the hill that his mother’s grave was located on. He slowly trekked through the familiar path and ended up in front of his mom’s grave. He leaned down and brushed away some leaves and dirt that was covering the tombstone and set the flowers down in front of it.

“Hey Mom. I’m going to have to tell someone to take better care of this. It was all dirty. How disgusting.” He sat down on the ground in front of the tombstone and crossed his legs fiddling with his hands in his lap.

“So remember that the last time I was here I told you about Blaine? How he was absolutely gorgeous and amazing and that we were dating? Well we are still together, so that’s good I guess. I can’t believe I have been with him over a year. We did have a fight at New Years though and we broke up. This guy Jared tried to get between us because of something that happened to his brother but we worked it out. I think it’s better that that happened honestly.

“We can trust each other completely now. I know that he really does love me and I think he is in this for the long run as well.” Kurt sighed and looked directly at the gravestone, “I really love him mom. He is amazing and treats me so well. You would have loved him. He is so perfect for me and such a gentleman. He gets stuck at doors all the time because he holds them open for people.” Kurt chucked slightly before turning serious once more.

“Dad misses you but Carole is good for him. You would like her too. She is helping me make sure that he doesn’t put anymore crap in his body. Finn is good too. He is actually treating me like we are blood brothers not just step-brothers. He makes sure that no one picks on me at school which is great of him. Although he does need to work on staying with the same girl for longer than a few months. He keeps switching between Rachel and Quinn.”

Kurt continued talking to his mom for another hour or so, tears flowing freely down his face. “I miss you mom. So much. I wish that you didn’t have to go when you did but I can’t control that stuff. I wish you were here for me to talk to and ask advice. We know Dad tries but sometimes I think you would be a bit more understanding than he is. I wish you were here. I love you mommy” Kurt felt his throat tighten as he finished up. He forced himself to take a deep breath and stood up, brushing off his jeans. He put his hand on her tombstone before forcing himself to walk away.

He headed back to his car slowly, wiping away the tears that were falling furiously. He noticed a few other people walking around the graveyard but ignored them all.

“Kurt!” He whipped around when he heard his name and saw a tall blonde heading towards him. His face fell into a frown when he realized that it was Jared, but forced himself to stay so that the other boy could talk to him.

“Hey Jared” Kurt waved weakly as the other boy approached. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down waiting for the blonde to finish walking towards him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Jared asked with a smile. He then noticed the tear staining the pale boys face and frowned. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine. I was just visiting my mom” Kurt shrugged refusing to look the other boy in the eye. “What about you? What are you doing here?”

Jared looked down at his feet. “Visiting Anthony” He mumbled quietly, not looking up and making designs in the grass below his feet.

“Your brother? I would have thought that he would be bur—that his grav—that he would be in Connecticut with your parents” Kurt stuttered out the question. He knew how hard it was to talk about a family member who died.

“Yeah well my parents put a thing here too. So that his friends from Dalton could visit him whenever they wanted. If they wanted.” Jared looked back up at Kurt’s face and Kurt couldn’t help but notice that there were tear streaks covering the other boys face. He reached out and took Jared’s hand in his own.

“I’m glad that you can come visit him then” He squeezed the pale boys hand and smiled weakly at him. Jared smiled back and squeezed back, nodding in thanks.

“Me too. I am sorry to hear about your mom though” Kurt just shrugged and took his hand back, rubbing the back of his neck. “But at least you can come visit her as well.” Jared smiled and reached up to wipe away the stray tears that were still running down his cheeks.

“Thank you. Well I’m going to go. My dad will want to – well I should go” Kurt stepped back and began to turn towards his car before he was interrupted by Jared’s voice once more.

“I actually wanted to ask you something. I wouldn’t feel right doing it without asking you first.” At Kurt’s nod he continued on. “I was hoping that I could talk to Blaine,” Kurt opened his mouth, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, “About Anthony I mean. No one here knows him except Blaine and I miss my brother Kurt. I just want to talk to someone who knew him well and I know that Blaine knew him well.” Jared played with his hands nervously, looking around the graveyard, anywhere but at Kurt.

“Jared…” The boy in question looked up at the boy’s musical voice. “Of course you can talk to Blaine about Anthony. I know that you need someone to talk to about him. That is how I am about my mom but I only have my Dad. You are lucky enough that someone your age knew your brother as well as you do.” Kurt smiled and rested his hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“Feel free to talk to Blaine anytime. I mean you are going to have to talk to him about it, make sure that he is okay with talking about Anthony, but I won’t mind. But please don’t force him to talk. Anthony is still a sore spot with him but I think he needs to talk about it. It will help both of you to talk it out. So yeah, you have my permission or whatever” Kurt smiled and Jared couldn’t help but lean over and hug Kurt tightly.

“Thank you Kurt. Thank you so much” he whispered in Kurt’s ear as he held him.

“Of course Jared. You need to be able to talk to someone about it” Kurt hugged him back, feeling the pain that the other boy must be feeling. He pulled away and looked at Jared’s face searching. Seeming pleased with what he saw he backed up a few steps.

“I really do need to go though. Talk to him or me whenever you need to. Everything is in the past now. I forgive you for what happened. Please call me or text me if you ever need to talk to me.” Kurt gave him another quick hug before turning to walk to his car. He waved at Jared over his shoulder before shoving his hands in his pockets and heading down the hill to his Navigator.

Jared watched at Kurt walked away, his sad smile turning into a smirk. They really had no idea. He turned back and head back to his brother’s gravestone.

“Don’t worry Anthony. I didn’t give up. Blaine Anderson won’t get away with doing what he did to you” He ran his hand across the top of the tombstone and started laughing. He read the words that covered his brother’s second tombstone, the exact same ones that were on the real one.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”