Nov. 23, 2012, 9:40 a.m.
The Needle and the Damage Done: Chapter 9
E - Words: 2,197 - Last Updated: Nov 23, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Oct 09, 2012 - Updated: Nov 23, 2012 1,113 0 4 0 0
Kurt stared blankly at the French toast sizzling in the pan. For two days he had stayed awake, helping Blaine through the pain of withdrawal and allowing Cooper to finally sleep.
“That smells good,” Cooper said sleepily as he walked into the kitchen.
“Cooking helps me relax,” Kurt put a few pieces on a plate, poured some syrup over them, and handed it over. “Let me know if you want more.”
Cooper nodded and took a huge bite, sinking down into a chair.
“Do you think Blaine wants any?” Kurt placed two more slices into the pan.
“Maybe, make a few and we can ask…”
“I would appreciate you not talking about me behind my back,” Blaine’s icy voice startled them both.
He stood in the doorway, glaring darkly at both of them. A pair of old plaid pajama pants hung low on his hips and he was shirtless. Despite the sweat covering his forehead he was shivering and had a comforter wrapped around his shoulders.
“We were just talking about saving you some food,” Cooper perked up a little, seeing Blaine walking around. “Want to eat?”
“No.”
Blaine walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Without another glance at them he turned around to walk back out.
“How about you sit with us?” Cooper gave him a smile.
“I’d rather not.”
The older man deflated slightly as he watched his brother shuffle out of the kitchen into the living room. With a sigh he turned back to his French toast and took another bite.
“Well…he looks better.”
“More or less,” Cooper shrugged and Carole walked in, sitting at the table with them. She placed a few pamphlets on the table in front of Cooper and gave him a small smile.
“He is doing better so now might be a good time to get him into a rehab program,” She tapped a finger on the pamphlets.
“I thought that was what we were doing here,” Kurt took a seat as well.
“He’s just going through detox now. The problem isn’t the drugs it’s what led him to it. I know this wonderful rehab clinic that has services for high school students. I have a friend who works there as a counselor and she is also an interventionist.”
“I don’t know,” Cooper looked down at the pamphlets, eyes flashing with worry.
“Without proper help he might go right back to using as soon as he can,” Carole placed a hand on his arm. “Just let me know and I will call her.”
“Okay,” Cooper sighed. “Call her and let her come over.”
Carole smiled and nodded, dialing a number on her phone and walking into the back room to talk.
Kurt heated up a bowl of chicken noddle soup, grabbed a few saltines and a ginger ale, and walked into the living room.
“I have some soup for you,” He said softly, placing the bowl and crackers on the table. Blaine’s eyes flickered from the television over to him and back again.
“I’m not hungry,” He mumbled.
“I know but you have to eat. At least take a few crackers,” Kurt nudged the box.
“Don’t you have to go back to New York now?” Blaine leaned against the end of the couch, moving away from Kurt.
“No,” Kurt shook his head. “I called my boss and told her I had an emergency and she gave me another week.”
“Wow, it’s so nice that your schedule is so flexible,” Blaine said slowly, keeping his eyes locked on the television.
“Okay,” Kurt winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I sit here?”
“I don’t care,” Blaine’s body stiffened but he still didn’t look at him. “Not like people really listen to what I say anyway.”
“You’re right,” Kurt sat down on the floor against the couch finally making Blaine look down at him. “I didn’t listen to you. Maybe if I had none of this would have happened.”
“Mmhmm, because it’s all about you,” Blaine voice sounded airy.
Kurt pulled his knees up and sighed. He had no idea what to say. He had no idea who this blank, cold person was sitting in front of him but he wasn’t the sweet boyfriend Kurt had left in Ohio.
“I just want to see you get better,” He whispered and Blaine’s body relaxed slightly.
He moved forward, startling Kurt, and took the box of saltines before burrowing back into the blankets.
A few days later the interventionist came. Blaine knew about it and after the initial shouting match he had just decided to stay quiet.
Tabitha Williams was a young brunette who wore cardigans and a bright smile. She kept smiling warmly at Blaine which only made him feel more uncomfortable and squirm in his chair.
“So, we all know why we’re here,” she said slowly, patting the binder on her lap. “I would like to start by going around the room and having everyone say what they feel to Blaine. Cooper, how about you start?”
“Okay,” Cooper looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Blaine you’re worrying me. I’ve tried to be a good brother, especially since mom and dad aren’t always here, but maybe I didn’t pay as much attention as I should have.”
Blaine snorted in laughter.
“Blaine, let Cooper finish,” Tabitha broke in.
“I’ve tried, maybe not tried hard enough, but I’ve tried. I remember that for months after that dance I had nightmares that I was going to get another phone call telling me that you were…well I was terrified. So, when I got the call telling me that you were in trouble all those nightmares returned,” Cooper looked down at his hands. “I don’t want to ever get that call Blaine.”
“Can I say something back?” Blaine said softly after a moment.
“Let everyone else talk first.”
“Fine,” He huffed and slouched in his seat.
“Carole?”
“Blaine, sweetheart,” Carole started, giving him a smile. “You were part of our family. You still are. When I first met you I was astounded by what a lovely, sweet boy you were and I hate to see that person disappear. That’s…that’s all I wanted to say,”
Blaine stayed quiet.
“Thank you. Kurt? You’re turn,” Tabitha gave him a warm smile.
“Um…well…” Kurt blinked rapidly and swallowed. “Blaine you aren’t the person I fell in love with any more.”
He refused to look at Blaine but heard the shaky breath.
“I know that I’m partially to blame but I want to help you. I want you to be healthy and happy and maybe we’re not together anymore but I don’t want to see you in pain. I want to help you go back to who you were.”
“Thank you everyone,” Tabitha smiled around at the small group. “Now Blaine, is there anything you would like to say?”
“No one sees me,” Blaine whispered.
“No one sees you? What do you mean no one sees you?” Cooper leaned forward.
“Kurt you said that you want to help me go back to who I was. I don’t even know who that is,” Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed. “I do what other people tell me to do because it’s easy. The last time I tried to really be myself I came out at my old school and was beaten so badly that I was hospitalized. So I blend in. It’s what I do.
I put on the blazer and became the perfect Dalton boy. I met you and became a mentor. I started dating you and became the good boyfriend. You told me you liked me wearing sweater vests so I bought sweater vests. You said you were lonely at McKinley so I moved schools. You told me to stop talking to Sebastian and the Warblers so I did.
I know that the Glee club only put up with me because of you. They ignored me when you left and I was alone. Whenever I tried to talk to you I was ignored. You only ever talked about yourself and I tried to be supportive but I was so alone. Eli talked to me and complimented me. He actually wanted me and didn’t treat me like a burden. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was so wrong but I went over. I didn’t do anything because I felt so bad and flew to New York. I needed to tell you and I needed you to understand but you refused to even talk to me.”
Blaine took in a shaky breath and wiped his eyes before continuing.
“The guys I went with made me feel wanted. They made me feel attractive, sexy, and like I was worth something so I let them do anything. I let them hurt me and…” He let out a sob and covered his mouth. “Sorry…the…the heroin made me happy and feel safe. I liked it and would be perfectly happy just continuing with it. I know you say that it’s changing me but it’s been so long since I was just myself…I have to wonder if this is who I really am.”
“Blaine, if you had felt this way you should have let us know,” Cooper’s voice sounded strangled with tears.
“No one would have listened,” He sounded so sad that tears began to trickle down Kurt’s cheeks.
“We can work harder,” Kurt promised.
“Blaine you know that I work for Sunrise Rehabilitation Clinic,” Tabitha gently rubbed his back as he wiped at his eyes. “We have a program for ninety days geared towards getting you sober. We have tutors who can help you keep up with your lessons so you don’t fall behind.”
“Ninety days?” Blaine’s voice was soft.
“There is a catch. As wonderful as all of your support is we don’t allow any contact with your friends or family for the entire duration of your stay,” Blaine stiffened and looked panicked.
“I can’t talk to anyone?”
“You said it yourself, you cling to what people think of you. It’s the best way to help you figure out who you are,” Tabitha closed the binder. “Your brother has a bag packed so we can head out as soon as we’re done here.”
“We’re leaving now?” Blaine’s eyes widened.
“The sooner the better,” Tabitha rubbed his back. “It’s for the best.”
Blaine wrung his hands together for a few moments before nodding. Everyone stood and it looked like Blaine was close to crying.
“It’s too quick,” Blaine shook his head sharply. “I don’t know…I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You can,” Cooper swept him into a tight hug. He held his brother for a long time before releasing him, both of them wiping tears off their cheek. “I’m proud of you Blaine. You’re going to go work on yourself and I’m going to work hard to be a better brother for you.”
Blaine eyes swam with tears and he took in a deep breath. He shot Carole a smile and stared at Kurt for a long time before giving him a tiny one as well. After a moment of hesitation, he took the duffle bag Cooper handed him and walked to Tabitha’s car with her.
His hand hovered over the door handle for just a moment before he turned and flung himself in Kurt’s arms.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered into Kurt’s ear. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
“I know,” Kurt squeezed him back. “I just want you to get better.”
“I’ll try,” Blaine promised, pulling back and giving him a small shaky smile. “I guess I’ll see you in ninety days…oh…wait you’re back in New York. I guess I’ll…”
“I’ll be here,” Kurt rubbed his shoulders.
“Okay,” Blaine stepped back at smiled at them all before sliding into the passenger seat. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you Blaine, I’ll be here when you’re done,” Cooper smiled tearfully at his brother.
Blaine paused for a moment before shutting the door, giving Kurt a sad smile and pressing a hand to the glass of the window. Kurt gave him a smile back and pressed his hand on the other side before the car started and pulled out of the driveway.
Comments
I really love this story. I really admire you for writing a story such as this one. You're doing a really wonderful job with it.
Oh god. The water works are in full motion. My heart is breaking. And I think i'm devloping a headache from crying so much. I love this chapter SO much. I feel like this is the best characterization of Blaine i've read in any story, no matter how tragic it is. *slow claps*
this chapter make me cry..sad seeing blaine suffer but I believe he can make it.. =)
Omgg yup the end of this chapter made me cry too :(