Miserable was too nice of a word to explain how Blaine felt.

After he had come home from New York he had been unable to escape the guilt. He was unable to eat, unable to sleep, unable to breathe without the ache deep in his chest. 

All of his (Kurt’s) friends had heard about what happened and avoided him like the plague. They shifted their chairs away from him in Glee and glared at him. He was shoved in the hallways and tripped, nasty insults spat at him at every turn. 

He had never been more lonely in his life. 

So now he was sitting at the bar in Scandals, trying to fill up the aching emptiness with alcohol. Tears burned in his eyes and blurred the warped wood as he sighed heavily.

“You look a bit upset,” An older man, probably in his thirties, sat down next to him and waved over the bartender. 

“That’s an understatement,” Blaine murmured before draining the last of his drink. “Can I get another beer please?”

“No, no,” The man waved him off. “Get the kid a shot, he looks like he needs one. Hell, get me one too, tequila please.”

Blaine didn’t protest as the bartender filled up two shot glasses and handed them over. 

“To beautiful boys who don’t need to look so sad,” The man clinked their glasses together and Blaine blushed as he knocked back the shot. 

“That’s very nice of you to say,” He smiled, embarrassed. 

“Well it’s the truth,” The man put a hand on his back and rubbed it gently. “Another shot?”

“I’d love one,” Blaine gave the man a quick smile and felt a warmth in his stomach when the man grinned back. 

“I’m Pete by the way,” The man handed him another shot. 

“Blaine,” He took it and drank the shot again. 

“What a beautiful name,” The man’s large hand gently squeezed the back of his neck. “It totally fits you.”

After a few more shots Blaine was feeling much better. He could hardly think as he danced with Pete on the dance floor and didn’t resist as the older man started running his hands along his body. 

“Fuck you’re so hot,” The man groaned into his ear. 

Blaine hummed softly as Pete bit his neck and ground his hard cock into Blaine’s hips. 

“I want you,” He moaned and Blaine blinked back tears. 

God he just wanted to be wanted. 

“Please,” Blaine whispered into his ear, shaking slightly. “Please.”

“Come on,” Pete took his hand and led him to the empty bathrooms. Blaine staggered slightly into the room but Pete caught him around the waist and slammed their lips together. 

“I’ve been staring at your pretty mouth all night,” Pete growled, pushing Blaine to his knees as he undid his pants. “Want to fuck your throat so hard.”

“Mmm, yes,” Blaine moaned, trying to get his uncoordinated fingers to work as he tried to help pull them down. “Tell me more.”

“Slutty little thing aren’t you?” The man laughed and ran his fingers through Blaine’s curly hair and pushed his fingers against his mouth moaning as Blaine sucked on them. “That’s so fucking hot. Wanna hear you choke on my cock.”

“I’ll be so good for you,” Blaine felt his chest clench. “I swear.”

“I know baby. You’re already being so good for me,” He took a handful of Blaine’s hair and pulled his head back as he pushed his cock into Blaine’s open mouth. “Look at you, taking cock so well. Like you were fucking made for this.”

Blaine moaned around his cock, the compliments filling up some of the dark space that had been consuming him for so long. He sucked on it as Pete started moving in and out of his mouth. 

He dropped his jaw and leaned back as the man started thrusting harder until he was fucking his throat. Over and over again he choked and gagged on Pete’s cock until the man pulled his head as far forward as he could and came hard. 

Blaine fell back choking and coughing, trying to catch his breath. Pete kept running his fingers through his hair and helped pull him up.

“That was so, so hot,” Pete grinned. “Need any help yourself?”

“No,” Blaine shook his head as Pete reached down to palm his soft cock. “It’s fine…I…finished earlier.”

“So hot,” Pete ran his fingers down his body. “Let me buy you another drink.”

“I think I earned one,” Blaine laughed weakly.

“I’ll say,” Pete wrapped his arm around his waist. “Come on, I wanna go back out there so everyone sees what a hot little piece I have with me.” 

That night Blaine collapsed into bed and sobbed. For the first time in months he felt wanted, attractive, and desirable. He knew that when he woke up he was going to feel disgusting and used but for now, he was just going to enjoy feeling wanted. 

He swore he wouldn't do it again. 

He swore it was a one time thing, just to get it out of his system.

Then Artie had run over his foot at school and hissed something that sounded a lot like 'slut'.

Blaine tore through his closet, trying to find something to wear out. For so long he had been dressing like Kurt had told him too. He passed by all the cardigans, button ups and bow ties until he got to the back of his closet and found a pair of skinny jeans, v-neck, and boots. 

He looked at himself in the mirror later and froze. He looked nothing like himself.

That was exactly who he wanted to be, not himself. 

Half an hour later a random man (Jace…James…John?) has him bent over in the back of his car and was fucking into him as he moaned loudly. He was completely wasted and everything felt like it was floating as the older man grabbed his shoulder and slammed into him. 

“Fuck you’re tight!” The moan grunted, slamming his hips forward in almost a painful way. “Such a good slut for me.”

“Mmmm yes,” Blaine moaned, shaking as the man kept fucking him. 

The haze of alcohol and slight pain from the man pounding into him made him completely forget about the excruciating pain of everything else. 

“God baby you’re amazing,” The man moaned into his back as he stilled and came. “So good.”

Blaine closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. He winced slightly as the man pulled out. 

“You’re so pretty,” The man cupped his face and ran his thumbs over his cheekbones. “You take my breath away.”

Kurt pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “You take my breath away.” 

“I have to go,” Blaine felt like he had been doused in cold water and pulled up his pants before jumping out of the car. 

“Wait babe,” The man leaned out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything to upset you. Let me get you something to eat.”

“No,” Blaine shook his head and staggered towards the club, desperate to feel something besides the ache. “I gotta go.”

“I see,” The man’s eyes hardened. “Going to go and find someone else to fuck? Have fun whore.”

Blaine scowled at him and walked back inside. His body was shaking like crazy and he stumbled up to the bar. 

“Hi,” He smiled brightly at the man sitting there. “I’m Blaine.”

“Well Blaine,” The man looked him up and down. “It is very, very nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?”

“A drink would be wonderful,” He sat down close to him.