Aug. 25, 2012, 2:14 p.m.
Be Not Dishearten'd: Chapter 1
T - Words: 1,241 - Last Updated: Aug 25, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 1/? - Created: Aug 25, 2012 - Updated: Aug 25, 2012 346 0 0 0 0
Those who love each other shall become invincible.”
-Robert Frost
Slam!
Lockers and homophobes. What else is new? He’s used to it by now but that doesn’t change the fact that his back is now bursting with pain. He can feel the spasms travelling up his back as the icy cold feeling of his school’s hatred and prejudice crawl up his skin. No one cares. No one bats an eye; not a teacher, not a friend, not a bystander.
Does he deserve it? Sometimes he feels like he does. Sometimes, when he gets up off the ground and dusts off his designer clothing he thinks he deserves it. Sometimes he knows he deserves it, when he sees the hatred in their eyes, juxtaposing the laughter that was in the football players’ eyes before he strutted into the halls. He must deserve it, because if he didn’t, wouldn’t somebody stop them?
He is lonely too. He knows that he is gay, well sort of. But there is another layer added onto his already existing hell; he doesn’t want what other boys want. He doesn’t want a one night stand, or a hookup. The very thought of sex disgusts him, he never goes past thoughts of romantic dinners and maybe a stolen kiss if he’s feeling daring. That doesn’t change the fact that he is lonely though; he does want a boyfriend. He wants someone to love him more than almost anything. He fantasizes about meeting his dream boy; tall and dark and beautiful, who brings him flowers on his birthday and offers him coffee every morning. He dreams of a faceless man who loves him despite his affliction, which is what he refers to it as. What normal teen boy—gay or not doesn’t want sex at every hour of the day? He doesn’t though; he wants love.
“Why don’t you visit the Garglers?”
“The Warblers, Puck.” He corrects tiredly. He’s so done with this glee club nonsense. He has enough to deal with and he doesn’t need a criminal record for trespassing on private property to add to it. There was no way he was being coerced into this.
***
Sadly Kurt is a bit of a pushover as well, and so he finds himself in a poorly assembled mock-Dalton Prep School uniform, walking down the crowded halls and completely lost. He walks down the spiralled stair case in defeat; still having not found these “Warblers” that Mr. Schue spoke so highly of. He decides to ask for help.
“Excuse me, I’m new here” he starts, and it seems believable enough because the boy—the beautiful and stunning boy that he stops is now taking his hand and leading him down the hall to a now-full room of uniformed boys getting ready to start an ‘impromptu’ performance.
All Kurt can think throughout the entire ordeal is that this boy is an Adonis, he wants to sit him down and just look at him until his eyes are sore. He feels that if he were a painter, he would want to create a million pictures of those eyes and that smile. The smile that was currently bearing down on him humorously; but still friendly.The eyes that had dancing flicks of golden and forest green amusement within them, a face that showed no sign of anger, despite his stupid actions.
“It’s very nice of you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying,” he comments into his coffee. One of the three men who aren’t Blaine chuckle softly.
“We’re not going to beat you up.” Kurt looks at him inquisitively. If someone had trespassed at McKinley they wouldn’t see the light of day from Rachel Berry’s basement.
It doesn’t make sense, but these boys have apparently decided to show Kurt more kindness than he’s seen in months at McKinley. The thought that these boys whom he’s never met are showing such kindness, and complete acceptance of his looks and obvious sexuality makes him start to tear up. Thankfully Blaine dismisses the other two boys before he can make even more a fool of himself.
“It seems to me that you’re having problems at your school,” Blaine says. Kurt laughs humorlessly.
“They torment me every day. There’s one that-that just wants to make my life a living hell.” Kurt replies. Blaine gives him a considering look.
“Well I’d love to say just come transfer here, but the tuition at Dalton is hefty and I know not everyone can afford it. But there’s another option, Kurt. You can fight back. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt. And it’s very possible that this guy just needs to be informed.”
***
They talk like that for a while longer, exchanging numbers with the promise of meeting for coffee. Although Dalton has a zero tolerance bullying policy, Kurt is the first out gay boy Blaine has met since he transferred and would really like to get to know him better.
So with the promise of another meeting, and a new found sense of courage, Kurt returns to McKinley braver than he was before.
And is immediately greeted with a more-than-harsh locker slam by his favourite tormentor, David Karofsky. But this time he isn’t going to take it laying down, he decides this is the time to fight back.
He follows the jock into the locker rooms; bad idea. He can’t run, he can’t hide, and although that wasn’t his plan anyways, when the boy presses a crushing and disgusting kiss to his mouth he really wishes he could have. He spends the next period in the locker room, alone, crying and wondering what the hell had just happened.
He calls Blaine once he had stopped crying for sure, and the other boy offered immediately to come to his school and talk to Karofsky. He didn’t figure it would help but he really needed his friend right now.
The talk doesn’t go well, it ends in Kurt having to physically separate Karofsky from Blaine with a power he didn’t even know he had. He deflates after the confrontation, he really just needs a friend right now and he feels so alone and the tears start up again.
“What’s the matter,” Blaine asks, sitting next to him on the metal stairs, “Why are you so upset?” Kurt breathes out shakily and wipes his eyes.
“Because,” he explains, “Before that I had never been kissed, not one that mattered anyways.”
Blaine wants nothing more than to show Kurt what a real first kiss should be like, to grab his chin lightly and brush his lips ever so gently upon his. But he knows that that just isn’t what Kurt needs right now. Right now Kurt needs a mentor; a friend. So he collects himself and gets ready to cheer this beautiful boy up, no matter what the cost.
“Come on,” he says instead, nudging Kurt gently. “I’ll buy you lunch.”
And it isn’t going to fix anything, they both know that. But for right now those little gestures mean the world, and he’ll take what he can get. Blaine will wait until Kurt is ready for a relationship, he’ll be a mentor and a friend although he has no clue what he’s doing. He’ll do everything in his power to make this beautiful boy smile. For he may not know him yet, but somewhere deep in his heart he knows that this boy is going to be something big in his life, and he isn’t going to give up until that dream becomes a reality.