Behind The Masks, Lies A Secret..
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Behind The Masks, Lies A Secret..: Chapter 8: Truths


M - Words: 2,264 - Last Updated: Mar 22, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 14/? - Created: Sep 23, 2012 - Updated: Mar 22, 2013
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Author's Notes: Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, abusive/homophobic parents, & A bit of smut near the end. Enjoy ;D

 

Blaine finished his shower and walked out of the bathroom with sweats and a tank top.

Kurt *thinking*: Se- No, don't think like that. You don't even know if he has a boyfriend. He obviously does, he's way too handso- nope, not going there. Although I have a sudden urge to touch his curls...

Blaine: Umm, about before uhh..

Kurt blushed.

Kurt: I just forgot my shirt....

He kept his eyes on the magazine as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Blaine coughed awkwardly.

Blaine: Okay, uhh...

Kurt: Yes?

Blaine: Before I interrupted, you said something about a football team and?

Kurt: Oh, I was also on the cheerleading team..

Blaine chocked, well it looked like he was.

Kurt's blush deepened, but he still rolled his eyes.

Kurt: What?

Blaine: Nothing, I was just imagining you in your cheerleading outfit.

Kurt threw a pillow at him.

Blaine: Hey! That hurt... I think I need to go to the hospital.

Kurt rolled his eyes.

Kurt: Can you stop with the sarcasm?

Blaine: I could, but that's no fun.

Kurt: I would throw this magazine at you, but it's the one with all of the new clothes in this season.

Blaine rolled his eyes.

Blaine: We just bought you a new wardrobe, and you still think about clothes.

He shook his head.

Blaine: What are we going to do with you?

Kurt threw his other pillow at him. Blaine glared at him.

Kurt: Can you toss that back? It was the last one.

Blaine got an evil grin.

Blaine: Suree.. 

Kurt: Nevermind. I'll get it.

Blaine: No it's fine, here you go.

Blaine shoved the pillow on top of Kurt's face.

Kurt: Blaine! Ah, eww.. What's on here?

Kurt started spitting out whatever was on the pillow.

Blaine: Hair gel.

Kurt glared at him.

Blaine: What?

Kurt: I have to moisturize again!

Blaine chuckled.

Kurt: This is not funny!

Blaine: Kinda is.

Kurt: How do you have friends?

Blaine: How do you have a life?

Kurt gasped.

Kurt: Too farr..

Blaine shook his head.

Kurt: I was being sarcastic.

Blaine: That wasn't sarcasm, that was stupidity.

Kurt: Why am I still talking to you?

Blaine: I don't know, stop wasting my time.

Kurt sighed.

Kurt: I'm gonna moisturize.

Blaine: Whatever.

Kurt *mumbling*: You and Santana are perfect for each other.

~ 8 minutes later

Burt opened the door to Kurt's room.

Burt: Good Night kiddo.

He gave Kurt a goodnight kiss on top of his head.

Kurt: Goodnight Dad.

Blaine: Goodnight sir.

Burt: Goodnight kiddo, and I told you to call me Burt.

Blaine smiled.

Burt: Night.

Kurt & Blaine: Night.

Burt closed the door on the way out.

Blaine: How come your mom didn't say goodnight to you?

Kurt remained silent. 

A single tear slid down his cheek.

 

Kurt *barely audible*: She isn't with us anymore...

Blaine immediately felt terrible; he knew he had hit a soft spot.

Blaine: Oh, I'm sorry. Where does she live now? I know divorces are hard...

Kurt tried swallowed the lump in his throat, but it stayed there. What was the saying? A frog in the throat?  That was what it was like for Kurt.

Kurt: She-she's up there..

He pointed up.

Blaine's eyes widened. He knew he was in deep shit now.

Blaine: I-I'm sorry, it's all my fault.

Kurt shook his head slowly.

Kurt: It's not.. It's mine, I can't just get over her death, she wasn't just my mother, she was my friend... my best friend...

Blaine: Do you want to talk about it?

Kurt: What do you want to know?

Blaine: What was her name?

Kurt: Elizabeth..

Blaine: That's a pretty name....

Kurt: Perfect for her..

Blaine: She was pretty?

Kurt: Absolutely beautiful. Looking at her was just breath-taking.. Whenever I got hurt, she would just look a t me, and I would instantly get better. I didn't know how she did it, but it worked..

Blaine *thinking*: That explains why your middle name is Elizabeth, you must look like her. You're perfect too, not one thing that has flaws. Beauty and perfection everywhere. No, I can't think like this, it's too soon..

Blaine: How old were you when you lost her?

Kurt: Eight..

Blaine gasped.

Blaine: How are you and your dad holding up, you aren't bottling up your emotions, are you?

Kurt: No, it's gotten easy as the years progressed. And I just want my dad to be happy, he's engaged.

Blaine: He is?

Kurt: Yes.

Blaine: Do you like her?

Kurt: Yes, but not love. She's a nice woman, she makes my dad happy. I haven't seen him happy in years. So as long as she keeps him happy, I'm happy.

Blaine smiled.

Blaine: You almost make me want to do charity work.

Kurt laughed.

Kurt: And you almost make me want to set fire to your dorm.

Blaine: Woah, when did you get evil?

Kurt: When I met you.

Blaine: Fair enough.

They both laughed. They sat there in silence. It was a peaceful and comforting one, not like the usual awkward ones. Kurt broke the silence with a question.

Kurt: How's your dad?

Blaine sighed.

Blaine: That's a subject I rather not get into.

Kurt: Okay...

Blaine looked at Kurt and completely melted.

Blaine took a deep breath and started telling Kurt the full story.

"Well, ever since I came out, my dad acted strange. He stopped taking me out to see baseball, football, soccer, basically any sports game. He stopped talking to me about anything, there would be any occasional hi and bye there, but other than that nothing. It was like he saw me like his daughter instead of his son. I felt like I was just a disappointment to him, like the son he never wanted. I wanted to change, I tried hard to be straight. But nothing worked... I failed my dad. He was never proud of me anymore, he looked miserable. And because of that it made me miserable, I wanted him to be proud I really did, but he just ignored me. Pushed me away like I was nothing. I-I-I started to c-cut myself. It felt like it was the only thing I could control. I could control how much damage I did, and how much blood would come out. I never cut hard or deep enough to cut a vein or artery or anything, just hard enough for blood to pour out. That is until one night, I just got home and I heard my dad talking to my mom, he was saying about how he hated me being a queer, and why couldn't I just be normal. He started to cry, that was enough to send over the edge, I cutted so deep, that I passed out. A few minutes later Everette found me in a puddle of blood, and I got sent to the hospital. My dad left for work that night, he never found out that I was cutting myself, only my mom did, but I made her promised not to tell Dad, he would only think of me more as a disappointment. I stopped cutting after that, because I saw how much pain and fear I had caused my brother and mother, it was almost too much to bear. I-I have thought about going back to cutting, but I would stop myself. I couldn't do it, especially since I knew it would cause my family pain. So I suffered through every day of my life until Dalton. My dad finally talked to me, on that day I was at the hospital, he said that the only reason he said he hated me for being gay was that he knew that not many people were accepting, he didn't want me to go through the pain, but he finally understood that him not accepting me was causing even more pain that the bullies had caused.  He said he still didn't like the thought of me being gay, but he said he will try to be a father again. I think that was the time when we were a family again...

 

"That is until he stopped trying. He stopped talking to me. He cut me off completely. H-h-he started getting a bit abusive." 

Blaine pulled down his sleeve to show multiple bruises and scars. Kurt gasped.

"I've been through been through worse, there's a lot more on my back, legs, etc.  Anyway, he would always beat me constantly. I never told anyone because of a deal I made with him. The deal was if I never told anyone, we would keep Annie."

Kurt: Anine?

"She's m-my sister"

Kurt nodded. Blaine took a deep breath and started again.

"Okay, well you remember how I said that I stopped cutting?"

Kurt nodded slowly.

"Well... I started cutting again for awhile, I never told anyone, I would cut between my thighs so no one could see, and get worked up. It would usually hurt during gym class when we ran, sometimes it would bleed through. I just would hold it inside, it never showed though, the school's shorts were black, so you couldn't really see it. I never took a shower afterwards because I thought that the blood would show when I was showering, I would always just turn on the water, and stick my head under so people would think I took it. No one ever found out. No one knew I  was suffering for years and still am. Everyone thought I was cool, that I had the perfect life, rich, handsome, charming, intelligent, the badass, everyone thought I could get any girl I ever wanted. Part of it's probably true."

He chuckled softly at that part.

"But there's nothing perfect about me, I'm just a fucked up person. I cut myself, I'm mean, rude, I'm even mean to my friends, I don't know why I love them so much, they're probably the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Blaine *thinking*: Right next to meeting you..

"I don't listen, I'm nothing but trouble. I'm worthless. I can't do anything right. I act like I'm all that, but I'm not. It's just a disguise. It's a wall I used to protect myself. I never told anyone this, I didn't want anyone to know. To know that I had weaknesses. I didn't want a repeat of what happened at my old school. All I ever wanted was to be perfect for my dad, that's all I ever wanted. Why can't he be proud of me? Why? What's wrong with me? Oh, wait lots of things. Fucking everything's wrong with me! No wonder, he hates me. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be perfect? Why did I have to be a disappointment? What did I do to deserve this?"

Blaine's voice cracked at the word "deserve". He let loose all the tears he had been holding in. He sobbed into the pillow.

 

Kurt was speechless, he had no idea that this was happening to Blaine. He snapped back into reality to comfort Blaine.

Kurt *softly*: Nothing, you don't deserve this. Nobody does.  And don't say that, you are perfect. To me..

Blaine lifted his head at those words.They scooted  toward each other, until they were inches away. Kurt and Blaine closed their eyes, and leaned in. When their lips touched, it was like a thousand sparks flew. Blaine lightly licked Kurt's bottom lip for permission. Kurt gave it to him. Blaine's tongue licked every part of Kurt's mouth. Kurt moaned at the feeling. Their hot tongues pressed against each other was almost too much to bear. It was like they were both waiting for this moment in their entire lives. 

Kurt started to push Blaine to the bed, and kept on pushing him until he was on top of him. Kurt was unaware of what was happening, all he knew was that he wanted it. He wanted Blaine. 

Blaine finally realized what he was doing. He pushed Kurt off of him. He grabbed his keys off the Kurt's drawer and left the room. Kurt was in shock, he had no idea what just happened. Then he remembered that Blaine was leaving.

Kurt: Blaine! Blaine wait! I'm sorry!

Kurt scrambled to get on his feet and ran after Blaine. But it was too late once he got to the bottom of the stairs he heard the door slam. 

Kurt: Blaine!

He opened the door to see Blaine driving away. Burt heard the commotion and came to find Kurt on the floor crying.

Burt: What's wrong kiddo?

Kurt wiped away his tears and replied, "Nothing." He went upstairs and locked the door. 

~In Blaine's car

Blaine: Are you stupid??!!?! Why did you leave? Even if it was too early, you should of at least talk to him! Now he probably hates you!

Tears flowed down at the thought of that.

Blaine: I'll just leave him alone, he'll forget about me. He'll find someone better. I don't deserve him. He'll get someone, of course he will. He's probably calling someone over right now. You. Don't. Deserve. Him.

He said the last part roughly. It cut him like a knife. But he had to get over Kurt, because he will never get him.

He turned on the radio to get his mind off things. He started to sing along.

"I open my eyes

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight


And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain


How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?


Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again


So I try to hold

On to a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't


How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?


I've made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

 

 

 

 

End Notes: Song: "Untitled" by Simple PlanLink: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7oqmikTrack, Favorite, Review :)

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Please post more! Love this story and such an original idea! Love it!