Dear Friend,

I saw Dr. Pillsbury today and she gave me an assignment. It’s not a real assignment because she isn’t my teacher, but I think I’ll enjoy doing it anyway. She asked me to start a photo journal so I can document what happens in my day.

We’ve been meeting every Monday since I moved to Lima and I think she’s getting tired of playing chess with me. That’s what we did again this afternoon. We played chess while she asked me questions I didn’t care about answering.

“How’s school?”

That is always the first question she asks.

“It’s fine.”

I moved my knight to F3 and waited for her to make her move. Dr. Pillsbury is no chess player. I’ve used the same opening during all our games and she still counters with the same move – a pawn to F6.

“And home? Are you and your dad settling down okay?”

“Yes, thank you for asking. He sends his regards.”

My old therapist once said that if anyone ever heard me talk, they’d think I was a character from an 19th century novel. I told him that if I was a character in an 19th century novel I would probably have been married off to a nice girl who I could never love because I would have fallen in love with her older brother.

He said that it sounds compelling and he would love to give it a read.

I told him that it would be better as a musical and that I would pitch the idea to my brother’s agent

My brother is an actor. He isn’t a very popular one yet but he always finds a way to get what he wants. I am betting that you will have heard of him in a year’s time.

“Do you miss your brother?”

That is also one of the questions she always asks.

“Sometimes,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not used to him being so far away.”

The truth was I miss my brother very much. I speak to him every Monday when I get home from my sessions with Dr. Pillsbury. I eat a snack while he tells me about his adventures in Hollywood and I fill him in on what’s been happening in my life. The only reason I haven’t been calling him every night was because I was either talking to Kurt or Santana or Tina or Sam or Sugar.

I haven’t told Dr. Pillsbury about any of my new friends. I’m not sure if she’d be interested because she only asks me questions about my family or school. She’s nice but she never asks me questions about the things I want to talk about. If she asked me what I thought about the latest CD I listened to I might have something to say about that, but she never does.
Dr. Pillsbury asked me a couple more questions like if I was sleeping okay and if I was eating okay. I said answered each of questions while countering her moves on the chessboard until only her rook and her king was left.

“Blaine,” she said when it was clear she was going to lose again. Dr. Pillsbury always says my name in that patient way that reminds me of my mother.

I stopped staring at the chess pieces and raised my head to look at her instead. She’s a pretty woman with bright red hair. She’s the kind of person who I think would make a great mother herself someday.

“How about we make a deal?”

I looked her warily but didn’t say anything. My father always says that the key to making a good deal is to listen, that way you can’t blame anyone but yourself if you get the raw end of the deal.

“You like photography, don’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“If I ask you to take one picture every day and show them to me during our sessions, would you be comfortable with talking about what’s in those pictures? It doesn’t have to be a big event. Just things you find interesting at home or at school. That way you can also keep track of things that happen in your life every day. Like keeping a journal only with pictures.”
I shrugged and said okay. She smiled at me happily and moved the same chess piece to the same position she had done the last time we played. I moved my own piece and called checkmate.

To be honest, I don’t mind the assignment. The school newspaper editor had asked me to take pictures for the yearbook so I had already expected to bring my camera to school every day. I was also getting bored of playing the same chess game every week.

I wonder if Dr. Pillsbury gets bored asking me the same questions every week too. I really wish she would ask me different questions so I don’t have to give her the same answers all the time.

In case you were wondering, the latest album I listened to was an album by a singer called Pink. The CD isn’t mine, it’s Ms. Holliday’s. She let me borrow it after I asked her about the song she recited in class.

She didn’t notice me right away. Literature was my last class for the day and most of the kids ran out as soon as the bell rang. I stayed near my seat until she looked up from her papers.

“No apple, kid? I always thought you quiet types liked the traditional approach to sucking up.”

I moved to the front of the room and hugged my books to my chest.

“I wasn’t trying to get you to raise my grade,” I explained. “I was wondering, what was the song you quoted the other day?”

She cocked her head at me and studied me for a moment before asking, “What’s your name again?”

“Blaine.”

Ms. Holliday dropped down on her seat and pulled out her record book. “Well, Blaine. I see you’re pulling an A in my class.” She looked up at me. “It wouldn’t hurt if you spoke up more though.”

“I’ll try, ma’am,” I replied, blushing at the reprimand.

“Well, by golly, you’ve gone and made me feel old! Ms. Holliday is fine. I’d ask you to call me Holly but I’m pretty sure Principal Figgins would have me stoned.” She smiled at me and I smiled back at her.

“No problem, Ms. Holliday,” I said, feeling less embarrassed.

She took a CD from her desk and handed it to me. “Here you go. Always happy to share the musical stylings of one Alecia Beth Moore also known as Pink. Don’t get too caught up in her music. I don’t want you disrupting the class by breaking out into song and dancing on the furniture.”

I laughed quietly as I tucked the CD into my bag. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem, ma’am - I mean, Ms. Holliday.” I hastily corrected myself when she gave me a glare.
“Good boy. Now scoot. You’ve reached your teacher’s pet quota for the day.”

I listened to the CD all the way to Dr. Pillsbury’s office and went online to buy all her songs the moment I got home.

You should listen to her. There’s this song called ‘Fucking Perfect’ and I think it’s something that everyone should listen to at least once in their lives.

Love always,

Blaine