Dear Friend,

I’m sorry that I ended my last letter that way. My substitute literature teacher, Ms. Holliday, would say that what I did was create a dramatic revelation.

Honestly, I just felt like maybe I had said too much in one letter and you might need time to think.

My dad used to say that to me a lot. That I should think before I talk. My mom said that I was honest which she thought was a wonderful quality to have. My dad said I had no filter and that what I say and do reflects not just on me but on the whole family.

Sometimes I don’t think my dad likes me very much.

I don’t think he likes my brother either. He’s not really my brother. We have different mothers but he still calls me “baby brother” and “squirt” and other nicknames that I pretend to hate but usually makes me feel really warm inside.

I’m not going to tell you his name because I think you’d recognize him. My brother is the kind of person who makes a lasting impression.

Kurt has a step brother too, but I don’t think they’re close since I’ve seen them in the hallways and they don’t talk at all. Kurt usually spends his time with Santana.

Did I tell you about her? Santana is Kurt’s best friend. She’s beautiful but not in the way that Kurt is beautiful. If we were animals who lived in the jungle, I think Santana would be one of those big scary cats. Beautiful but vicious.

I think I’d be too scared to talk to her if she hadn’t talked to me first. She has the locker a few doors next to mine and she hadn’t noticed that one of her pictures had fallen. I picked it up and gave it to her. She took the picture and stared at it for a long time. It was a picture of a pretty blonde girl who reminded me of a veterinarian who lived in our old neighborhood.

Our encounter would have ended there since she had turned her back to me without a thank you, but then one of the guys Kurt’s step brother hangs out with pushed me into the lockers. I was scared since he was much bigger than me but I was prepared to fight.

I didn’t notice Santana move towards us until she was standing right in front of me staring down the other guy. He was probably twice her size but he flinched and walked away without another word.

“What’s your name?” Santana asked after the boy left.

“Blaine.”

“Santana.”

“C’mon you’re having lunch with me.”

She didn’t wait for me to accept her invitation, just walked towards the cafeteria and expected me to follow her. It made me feel unimportant but since I hadn’t made any friends yet I figured eating with Santana was better than eating alone.

It was good thing too because otherwise I might never have met Kurt.

Santana grabbed a couple of sandwiches and cookies from the lunch room and I got myself a salad and a fruit cup. I waited for her to choose a table but instead she motioned for me to follow her and we went outside to the bleachers.

I wish I could tell you that I was suave and confident when I met Kurt, but the truth was I don’t think I made an impression at all. He just raised his eyebrow at Santana who raised her eyebrow at him in response. There was a moment when I thought he might not want me to stay but he removed his bag from the seat in front of him so I decided to take it as a good sign.

Maybe someday I’ll have friends who can I talk to without actually talking. That would be helpful since I’m not very good with talking about how I feel about things.

Kurt and Santana exchanged gossip about people I didn’t know yet and they tried to keep me in the conversation but there were too many new names and I couldn’t keep track of them all. Besides, I was content with just watching Kurt.

I don’t know to describe Kurt to you so I’ll borrow some lines Ms. Holliday read to us in class,

“There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?”

Someone said that it wasn't a literature, that it was a pop song, but Ms. Holliday argued that just because it's popular doesn't mean it isn't literature.

I didn’t care either way, I thought it was beautiful and fit how I felt about Kurt really well.

“You’re a freshman?” Kurt asked when they were done talking.

“Yes.”

Kurt and Santana are seniors which makes me feel very sad because that means I will lose them eventually. I try not to think about it though since there are still nine months left in the school year and my brother says that sometimes I think too much about what could happen instead of what’s happening right now.

He asked me a couple more questions about where I went to middle school and where I lived and what my interests were and what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to tell him everything, I really did, but instead I gave him the answers I usually gave people.

“I used to live in Westerville but my dad moved his practice. He thought the district would be able to provide me with a more well-rounded education. ”

“My brother and I used to perform for our neighbors a lot when I was younger but I’ve moved on to more sensible activities like sports and taking photographs for the school newspaper.”

“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up but my father suggests that law might be something I’d want to consider since that’s what he does.”

Santana had laughed at me and said I sounded like I was applying for a job interview.

Kurt had smiled at me kindly but didn’t comment.

I couldn’t help but feel like I had disappointed them somehow

I seem to have that effect on a lot of people.

Love always,

Blaine