Feb. 8, 2018, 6 p.m.
We All Shine On - REVISED version: Chapter 13
E - Words: 2,058 - Last Updated: Feb 08, 2018 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Dec 28, 2017 - Updated: Apr 11, 2022 238 0 0 0 1
Kurt stared at the new email for a full minute before sighing and clicking on it.
Hey Kurt,
It's great to hear you are out of your coma now. Everyone is saying you are recovering well, better than expected. Of course, it’ is horrible that you have lost your incredible voice. I still listen to your version of 'I'm Alive' and it sends chills down my spine. Such pure tones, such power. Pure talent.
I hope to hear that you continue to get stronger. Feel free to email me if you need anything.
Adam
Tears streamed down Kurt's face, and he reached for some tissues to dry them and blow his nose. He could imagine all the things Adam was not saying in his email. He knew him so well.
Sure, it was great Kurt he was out of the coma, but it didn't really change things between them. They were still so over. The relationship had been a struggle for months, so many fights and time spent apart. Kurt couldn't blame Adam for not flying over to see him now, with things as they were, but it still hurt. This was a man he'd been in a relationship with for years. The longest, most intense one of his whole life. And now it was reduced to barely emailing each other. Well, at least he'd been civil in it. Time to let go of all their pasts hurts and be mature adults.
Adam.
I'm doing OK and getting stronger thanks to the wonderful health care you have arranged. From what I've heard about the accident, I'm lucky to be alive and doing this well.
Hope things are going good for you in England.
Thanks again,
Kurt
Cringing at the stilted, polite email, Kurt hit Send anyways. Keeping a line of communication open.
...
Being more mobile and having the tablet were the big changes in Kurt's life. He typed up notes for each of his health care workers, asking them lots of questions about the best way to recover, and followed their advice. They could see the determination in his eyes, how hard he was trying, and every day there were small victories. Things he could do that he couldn't the day before.
Looking around his bedroom, Kurt felt good that the IV stand was gone. It had been hard walking and moving the large wheeled object with him. Hard having the tubes extending from his arm, getting in the way. He lifted his shirt, running his fingers over the bandage where they had removed the feeding tube port. He would have a small scar when it healed, just another one decorating his chest, but at least he could shower normally then. Sponge baths, even when he did them himself, just never felt like enough.
Day by day, he was feeling less like an invalid, and more like himself. He helped Hannah and the other nurses in preparing meals, sitting at the table to eat. He still napped in the mornings and afternoons, but most of the time, he was out of bed during the days. There were daily exercises the physiotherapist gave him. And he also did yoga every morning on the balcony, adjusting the positions as needed.
Talking and joking around with the staff was fun too, and he'd gotten to know them all well. It added variety to his days, hearing about their lives when they weren't in this apartment.
But he was still the most curious about Blaine, and they had long talks whenever he visited. In the last few weeks, they had relaxed into a fairly normal friendship, ordering in food, watching movies, playing video games.
...
"Hey, want to watch this movie tonight?" Blaine pulled out a DVD from his messenger bag and Kurt took it, reading the back cover. Handing it back, Kurt nodded.
"Great!" Blaine bounded over to the DVD player and put the disc in, before settling on the sofa beside Kurt. They already had their dinner plates heaped with Chinese food from the take-out boxes on the coffee table.
Kurt was soon laughing along with the horror comedy. Blaine glanced over, sharing his enjoyment of the jokes, his dark eyes sparkling. Kurt liked that Blaine totally made him feel comfortable, with using the tablet to talk and with the way he laughed now. It was mostly silent, just soft, quick exhales. Blaine always seemed to hear it though, his eyes catching Kurt's and chuckling along. Making Kurt feel normal, accepted, a part of things.
By the time the movie ended, they were both stuffed and the containers empty. "That was hilarious. I've been meaning to see it for ages and was always too busy with work." Kurt commented from his tablet.
Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I haven't seen it for years. Sam borrowed my copy and I only recently spotted it amongst his stuff when he moved in."
Nodding, Kurt reached for his drink and took a long sip. Why did he have such a sinking feeling? OK, Blaine had a boyfriend who lived with him. One he'd known a long time apparently. It sounded serious. He should be happy for his friend.
"Sam? Well, he must be a good guy if he's into British zombie comedies. You should both come over for supper sometime. I'll cook something special." Kurt finally replied. It would probably be good to see Blaine with his boyfriend. Give Kurt a healthy dose of reality.
Blaine had been coming over two or three times a week, and Kurt had really enjoyed their time together. He was so easy to talk to, to be around. He was supportive of Kurt's progress, but never made Kurt feel bad if he wasn't able to do something. He would just step in and help out, never making Kurt feel weak or uncomfortable. Like helping Kurt walk if he was really tired after a day of intense physio and yoga.
Kurt couldn't deny that he found Blaine attractive too. His body was nicely muscled and he wore slim fitting clothes. His arms seemed to grab Kurt's attention the most, the curve of his muscular shoulders and biceps, his strong hands. Kurt really wanted to see him play a guitar, watch those fingers moving confidently over the instrument while the emotions of the song came out with his expressive voice and eyes. He kept his hair fairly short, but Kurt wanted to feel it, feel the texture of his short curls.
Kurt simply smiled as Blaine agreed and said he'd ask Sam. Kurt needed to be realistic here. Blaine had a boyfriend, and they were just friends. Time to nip any attraction he was feeling towards Blaine in the bud and focus on just being friends. He hadn't had silly crushes on guys since high school.
...
Taking a deep breath, Kurt glanced over at Blaine, and then clicked his tablet again. “Blaine, I was wondering if you would be available. You would still be free to work during the day, of course. I would pay you a caregiver wage for this. It is OK if you say no, of course. I know it’s a lot to ask. And I don’t want to make things difficult between you and Sam.”
The whole talk with Hannah and Blaine had been going pretty well so far. Kurt had made lots of notes on his tablet, trying to think of every argument they could throw at him. He'd even ordered his favorite pesto, feta, and prawn pizza to help soften them up.
Blaine nodded, smiling at Kurt. “Actually, I think I could do it and it really wouldn’t be much different for me. I’d like to be here, supporting you, no need to pay me. But what do you mean about Sam? I’m confused by that.”
Kurt smiled back during his response, but furrowed his brow when Blaine mentioned Sam. He typed on his keypad. “Sorry, but don’t you live with Sam? Won’t he be a bit irritated that his boyfriend is living somewhere else for a few months?”
Blaine couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and Kurt gave him a perturbed look. “Sam is straight and only a good friend. He’s been crashing on my sofa while he looks for another place to live. So, actually, me living here will suit him fine. He’ll get to sleep in my bed.”
Kurt blinked slowly, trying to take in what Blaine had just said. Sam was straight and only Blaine's friend. So, he'd just invited an attractive, single gay man to live in his apartment. For three months. Together. Alone. At night.
And as Hannah brought up some other points, and Kurt answered her, a part of his mind couldn't let go of those thoughts.
Hannah looked over at Blaine. “Are you sure you can commit to this, Blaine? It’s a big step to live somewhere else for a few months.”
Looking at Kurt and then Hannah, Blaine smiled. “I don’t think it will be that big a change. Kurt and I will hang out like we currently do. But I’m sure we will both just be here, doing our own thing. I’ll check on him occasionally. I’ll be near if he needs something and he can just text me to ask for anything.”
And soon after that, Kurt was shaking hands with Hannah, and then Blaine, sealing the deal. And he couldn't deny feeling a zing of awareness along his skin when Blaine's warm, strong hand enclosed his.
...
Later, in his bed, Kurt thought it over. It wasn't too late to change the plans. To tell Blaine not to move in, that he was going to find a different roommate. But what would he say if Blaine asked why he wanted the change?
Kurt just shook his head, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, something plausible, feeling too embarrassed to say the truth. To admit to feeling attracted to him, and being afraid of making a fool of himself over Blaine like he had over Finn. Next he'd be decorating the apartment in Moroccan lamps and fabrics. Knowing that just being around Blaine more would make his feelings get more intense. And sooner or later, Blaine would become aware of it and feel uncomfortable.
Sure, they got along well as friends, but that was all. Kurt was still so weak, and he hadn't even been outside for a year. Plus, what could he ever offer in return? He was getting stronger, but still had no idea what he would do for work. What if he never regained his full strength, and had to do a job that could accommodate that? What was he going to do with his life? There was no way he felt worthy of being in a relationship until he had basic things like that worked out.
Unbidden, images of Blaine wearing tight blue pants flashed into his mind. He'd worn them a few nights ago, when they'd last had a movie night. And Kurt couldn't help but watch every time Blaine walked around. He was also wearing a tucked in polo shirt, and both articles of clothing were well fitted. His shoulders, arms and chest looked slim and muscular. His legs looked strong, filling out his pants well. And there was the rest...the way those pants made his ass look...and the way the pants fitted in the front.
Kurt had been a little distracted the whole movie. Luckily, Blaine hadn't noticed at all.
Now, though, Kurt was picturing what could happen in a week or so. Living together, having a late movie night, no rush to go anywhere. Blaine wearing those pants again. And what if Kurt reached out and slid his hand up Blaine's leg...all the way up.
Reaching down, Kurt stroked himself, slowly at first, but then speeding up. Stopping for a second, he pumped some hand lotion from his bedside table into his palm, knowing there was no lube around. It warmed up quickly as he stroked again, his thoughts going to undoing Blaine's pants, seeing him in only his briefs. Touching and kissing all over his chest. Exploring. Feeling him arch and moan under his touch.
...
As Kurt cooled down and caught his breath, panting hard from his first orgasm in over a year, he knew there was no good reason he could give to change their plans. He would just have to be friendly, and keep his distance if he felt pulled towards Blaine too much.
They were both grown men. They could do this.
...
A/N: Bonus points if you can guess the British Zombie horror-comedy I had in mind here. :D