April 18, 2016, 7 p.m.
We All Shine On: Chapter 14
E - Words: 2,473 - Last Updated: Apr 18, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Feb 20, 2016 - Updated: Feb 20, 2016 254 0 0 0 0
"OK, OK. I'm home now. Time for you drunk women to go.” Kurt waved goodbye to Hannah and Deanna, giggling at their tipsy kisses. He felt good, but maybe a little tired. It was the longest hed been out of the apartment so far.
All week, Hannah had been getting him outside for short walks, for exercise and a change of scenery. Yesterday, hed gotten a professional shave and haircut, and it felt good to look in the mirror, seeing a version of Kurt looking back that looked far more familiar than it had in ages.
Today was kind of like a graduation ceremony, from an invalid to being a person again. He had treated all the women to a full spa day and a fancy dinner, the booze flowing well. Hed only had one glass of wine, not sure of how much it would affect him after going so long with no alcohol. He found he was a little tipsy, but able to manage.
The spa had been just what Kurt had needed. After a long soak in a scented hot tub, hed had a deep tissue massage and then a body wrap. Treated himself to a facial, and the male version of a manicure and pedicure. It was like they were scrubbing off the old layer of skin and revealing a fresh, new Kurt below. He felt fairly strong again, and able to handle most things physically. He had his body back most of the way, or at least as good as he could get it for now.
“Hey Kurt. I'm in the living room.” Blaine called out.
Oh right. The new roomie was here now.
Shrugging, Kurt headed towards Blaine and settled onto the sofa. After the spa treatments, the wine, and the rich, gourmet meal, Kurt was feeling good and a bit sleepy. They chatted a bit and watched a movie.
---
“Kurt, let me walk you to your room.” Blaines tenor voice roused Kurt out of his dozing. Blinking up at him sleepily, Kurt gave him a small closed-lip smile.
Blaine helped him to stand up and walk to his bedroom. Most days, he wouldnt need assistance like this, but today had been more tiring than normal. Blaines arm felt good around his waist, keeping him steady.
Almost asleep on his feet, Kurt was awake enough to know he couldnt sleep in skinny jeans and a dress shirt. He wiggled out of the clothes, dropping them haphazardly, before slipping under the covers, falling asleep almost instantly. Never noticing the quick peeks Blaine shot his way as he picked up the clothes Kurt had dropped.
---
It was still a bit odd living together, a bit of an adjustment. Some meals felt awkward and Kurt didnt know what to say. And he felt a bit bad for asking Blaine to stay with him. But it was comforting to not be alone, to have someone around to care.
"OK if I join you?" Blaine asked one night when Kurt was watching a documentary.
Kurt just waved beside him in invitation. "You dont have to ask, Blaine. This is your home too while you are here. If I want some time alone, Ill go to my bedroom." He wanted a Blaine to be comfortable during his stay.
"Oh, Ive heard good things about this." Blaine settled in, recognizing the show from clips hed seen online.
Kurt smiled over at him and restarted the show. "Here, you need to see it from the beginning. Im only twenty minutes in so Ill rewatch it with you."
Kurt had never been into true crime books or TV shows, but there had been a lot of buzz about this documentary. They were both quickly drawn into the story.
"That police force was totally pissed off that he was exonerated with DNA evidence." Kurt commented.
Blaine agreed. "Can you imagine losing eighteen years of your life, imprisoned on a charge you didnt commit?"
"Well, no... But I can imagine losing one year of your life." Kurt sighed, still finding it hard to believe that one moment he was driving down a road hed driven hundreds of times, and it felt like the next moment he was waking up in a hospital bed here. A year just vanished.
Blaine turned to face him. "We were all so amazed that you came out of it. Everyone around here was celebrating."
Kurt gave him a weak smile. "Its pretty sad that only my health care staff were around to celebrate it." What did it say about him, about his life, that no one else was here?
Hannah had said that they had tried to contact Carole, but hadnt heard back from her. Had things changed in the last year? Was she OK? Had she changed jobs and the message got lost while hed been unconscious? He didnt even know where to start to try to find out.
And the last few years had been so crazy. He had been working a lot, flying home to be with his father when he could. And the relationship with Adam had taken over the rest of his time. He hadnt been in contact with friends as much as he would have liked to.
"Is there anyone else we should contact for you? Nothing has been released to the press about you." Blaine gave him a concerned look.
Kurt shook his head. "Maybe later, when Im stronger. When I know what I want to do with my life. Right now the story would be Singer Out of Coma, But Cant Sing." He sighed.
They talked a bit about Adam and the future. Blaine had been outraged that Adam was only going to cover the rent for another six months. But Kurt defended him. Adam was giving Kurt a good amount of time to get his life figured out, and it was way more than most ex-boyfriends would do.
It was just the kick in the ass Kurt needed to get on with things.
---
Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Blaine rushing around, looking amused. "Are you always like this when you cook? Calm down, Blaine."
Blaine glared at him as he kept preparing their meal, almost making Kurt chuckle. The doorbell rang and Blaine went to answer it.
Hearing the two men talking in the hallway, Kurt took a deep breath, pinning a smile on his face.
As Blaine went through the introductions, Kurt looked Sam over. Tall, shaggy dark blond hair, a big easy grin. He seemed friendly and nice. Totally unintimidating.
Kurt clicked on his tablet. "So Sam, what was it like going to school with Blaine?" The accent was American, but a different one than Kurt used with Blaine.
"You talk with the tablet? Thats so cool!" Sam stared at the iPad mini. "You sound quite normal. Its a bit disappointing, frankly. I thought youd sound more like a robot."
Clicking a couple times, Kurt grinned back at Sam. "Like this?" The voice had changed to one that sounded more artificial, more like Stephen Hawkings.
Sam pulled up a chair and Kurt showed him the different voice settings on the device, cracking them both up at the sillier sounding ones.
"What did your old voice sound like?" Sam asked.
Kurt was a bit surprised at the question, but he clicked a little on his tablet. He played an old interview from YouTube, a routine chat with a reporter he knew well about a month before his last Tony win.
So strange to think it was only about two years ago. He had everything set. More successful on Broadway then hed ever dared to dream of, and with the promise of years of choice parts ahead of him. He had planned to work hard and save a lot of money, living conservatively. Wanting to be financially stable for when the offers slowed down, when his 15 minutes were up.
Then Adam had come along and introduced him to a lavish lifestyle, taking him on luxurious trips and shopping at the best designers. Clothes had always been Kurts weakness, and he treated himself to occasional splurges, without dipping into his savings. But Adam spoiled Kurt, insisting on paying for everything. Adam would never live as simply as Kurt did, so Kurt adapted to Adams ways.
Deep in his heart, Kurt had always wondered how long it would last. They had fun together; partying, travelling, and shopping. It was hedonistic and without limits. But eventually, Kurt tired of it. The idea of another fancy party, full of phony people trying to impress each other, bored him. Adam still loved it, but hed grown up in that lifestyle, was used to swimming in those waters. Kurt had only tried it on for a while, and in the end, found it didnt fit him that well.
Luckily, Blaine served dinner then and Kurt got Sam talking about himself. A good change of topic compared to Kurt dwelling on the past.
---
"What embarrassing things can you tell me about Blaine?" The dinner was done, and Kurt felt like bugging Blaine.
Blaine shot Kurt a glare. "Hey! Thats not fair. Dont answer that, Sam."
Sam was laughing at their interaction. "But I have a doozy...I dont think I can keep it in."
Kurts eyes widened and he motioned with his hands for Sam to tell him.
Giving Blaine a shrug, Sam smiled. "Blaine used to have a poster of you on his wall."
Blaine swore and lowered his head down to the table, hiding his blushing face.
"Really? Which poster?" Kurt smirked widely as he looked down at Blaine, and then over to Sam.
Sam was chuckling at Blaine. "I dont know. You are wearing a tight grey t-shirt and jeans, looking all intense."
"Oh, thats from Next to Normal." Kurt replied. It still had a special spot in his heart. It was a passionate, physical role; with a rock-edged score that was a big change from his previous parts. Hed poured everything into it, knowing it could change the way he was seen by directors and producers. And it worked.
Blaine sat up, his cheeks still a bit red. "Yes, I was a little fanboy over you back then." He shrugged. "I was just a teenager."
Sam laughed. "Bullshit! It was here in New York, so you were 23 at least."
Smirking, Kurt typed. "Yeah, I was 24 when I did that role, and youre a year younger than me."
"OK. Busted. Now would you two please quit ganging up on me?" Blaine stood up, gathering the dirty dishes. "I cooked, so you two can clean up." And he gave them both a haughty stare before spinning on his heel and leaving the room.
Chuckling, Sam and Kurt cleaned up the kitchen and went out to the living room, Blaine eventually joined them. It was a fun night, talking about the voice app and playing card games.
---
"Hey, let me carry that back to the kitchen." Blaine stepped forward and took the loaded tray of dessert dishes from Kurt.
"Thanks for bringing Sam by. Hes fun to be around." Kurt commented, trailing behind Blaine to the kitchen.
"Im just glad he didnt say anything to offend you." Blaine unloaded the tray and stashed it away.
Kurt leaned against the counter, a small grin on his lips. "Hes got a big mouth?"
Blaine chuckled as he put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. "In more ways than one. One cheerleader used to call him trouty mouth. But mostly he just talks without thinking sometimes."
"Sorry he embarrassed you about the poster." Kurt replied, watching Blaine. All night, hed kept imaging Blaine at 23, lying on a bed and looking at his poster. It was kind of strange, when a friend admitted to seeing a show. Kurt on stage was such a different person, with different energy, than Kurt in his regular life.
Sighing, Blaine finished the dishes and closed the dishwasher, leaning back against the counter to look at him. "Maybe I should have told you before that I was a big fan of yours. But I didnt want things to be weird between us."
Kurt was looking over at Blaine, letting his eyes travel over his face slowly. And then they went lower, taking in his light blue tee and the black jeans. There was an energy, and intensity, that performers could give off, and he was doing it now. Letting Blaine feel it, feeling his awareness of it. Looking Blaine over slowly, appreciating his body in those fitted clothes.
Blaine seemed frozen under Kurts gaze, and his breath was loud in the small kitchen. Looking Kurt over, his eyes darkening, reacting to him.
But as quick as he poured the energy towards Blaine, he stopped it. Kurt gave a little smile, glancing down at his tablet. "Its OK. We are just friends now. Im feeling a little tired. Would you help me to my room?"
Shaking himself out of his trance, Blaine nodded and stepped closer to wrap his arm around Kurts waist. As they walked slowly to Kurts bedroom, he could tell by Blaines faster breathing that he was still aware of Kurt. Teasing, just a little, Kurt pressed close against Blaines side, feeling the warmth of his body through their clothing. Letting their legs brush against each other as they walked down the hallway. Savoring the smell of Blaines cologne and just being this close to an attractive man again.
Blaine mumbled goodnight at Kurts bedroom door, and Kurt gave him a small grin as he silently thanked Blaine with his expressive big eyes, and closed the door.
Stripping quickly, Kurt slipped into his large bed and took a couple pumps of hand lotion. He kept thinking of how Blaine had just looked, and smelled, and felt. Imagined pulling him into the bedroom instead of shutting the door. Stripping him, touching and tasting him. All night.
---
Lying back on the pillows after, Kurt knew he shouldnt have done that tonight to Blaine. Or to himself. To be Kurt, the performer, to attract men... It was shallow and purely physical. They were attracted to the role, a fantasy, a made-up person that Kurt embodied for a few hours. To continue that to the bedroom was only superficially satisfying.
Kurt had been weak, giving into an impulse and seeing if he could get Blaine to give him the fanboy lust look. For that moment, acutely missing being the big star and wanting the shallow flattery and attention. To be looked at with desire. He had poured out the energy, and Blaine had responded to it.
But here, now, Kurt wondered if he had damaged their friendship for that silly impulse. Would things be awkward between them now?
Sure, it had been nice to be looked at that way, after feeling like an invalid, a half-dead person, for so long. But the looks hadnt been for Kurt now. It had been leftover feelings for Kurt that was now long, long gone.
Kurt wanted to be cared and wanted for who he was now. Not because he was a shadow of his former self. And getting involved with Blaine, an admitted fan, just wouldnt be right.
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