***

Rachel opened her door, smiling broadly, as soon as Kurt knocked. "Oh great! Now everyones here!"

She dragged him into the kitchen, taking his salad out of his hands. "Oh my god, Blaine is looking even hotter tonight. Too bad hes gay, or Id have a run at him."

Kurt was taking off his jacket, and glared at Rachel. "Hes just my trainer, Rachel. Quit building this up to more than that. Youll make us both uncomfortable."

Rachel laughed, walking around Kurt, looking at his clothes. "Wow, Kurt. You look amazing tonight too. Dont tell me you didnt pick this out with Blaine in mind?"

Kurt looked down, blushing a little. He was wearing the jeans with Doc Martin lace up boots, a short-sleeved deep purple dress shirt and a slim black tie. Something he wouldnt have even considered a couple weeks ago, but wearing more fun clothes lately had clicked into place like a missing puzzle piece. 

Rachel just laughed at his blush, and pulled him over to the dining room table. She sat him besides Blaine. And took her seat at the other end of the table.

"Hey, Kurt." Blaine smiled over at Kurt, and Kurt had to take a moment before returning his greeting. Blaine was wearing a white collared shirt with a casual tweed suit jacket, and blue jeans. His hair was tamed a bit more than usual with a bit of product, and having the curls off his face made his eyes look even bigger. He looked like a hot university professor. 

"So, what did you bring, Blaine?" Kurt grabbed one of the nearby serving dishes and scooping some food onto his plate., aiming for a casual tone. 

Blaine laughed. "Well, you remember that I cant cook, so I bought a vegan chocolate cake for dessert. From a bakery."

"Sounds good. I brought kale salad." Kurt passed along a rice casserole to Blaine.  Can you be any more boring, Kurt? He swallowed nervously, and tried to act normal. 

Looking around the table, Kurt knew everyone from the various potlucks over the years. There was Melanie, an old NYADA friend of Rachels, a few people from her current show and a couple from other shows shed been in. Kurt thought about their first year here, when so many McKinley friends would be at the potluck. But they had eventually moved away from New York except for Rachel and himself. 

"Are you OK with all this theatre talk?" Kurt asked Blaine a little into the meal, as Rachel and her co-workers argued over the lighting of a particular scene. 

Blaine smiled over at Kurt. "Well, its better than what I get at the gym all day. Its all recipes for protein drinks and the benefits of squats."

Kurt laughed. "Thats why I always have my iPod handy. How did you get into the job in the first place?"

"I went to NYU and got a music degree. I started doing personal training a little during school for extra money. But since graduating, there hasnt been that much work in the music area, so Ive been doing the personal training full time. " Blaine shrugged. 

"Well, you are good at it, very motivational. You really took the time to understand my goals and Ive seen how you set goals week to week to get me there." Kurt took a sip of his water. 

Blaine smiled, shaking his head. "You are too kind, Kurt. And youre the one showing up, doing all the work. It wasnt until I saw you last night in regular clothes that I really saw how far youve come already." 

"Ok, everyone, head to the living room. Time for some rock band!" Rachel bounced out of her chair, and headed over to set up the equipment. 

Kurt stacked plates from the table, carrying them over to the kitchen counter. "Oh, Rachel. That is so 2007!"

"Oh, come on, Kurt." Melanie grabbed his hand, pulling him over to the sofa. Kurt looked back at Blaine, giving him an apologetic look. 

They all took turns on the drums, guitars and vocals, the extra people sitting on the sofa and love seat. Out of all of them, Kurt was the most rusty at performing, so he stuck to playing the guitar and drums on his turns. 

"OK, Kurt, I want to hear you singing for this one. Its been way too long..." Rachel hauled Kurt off the sofa and shoved the microphone into his hand, ignoring his protests. "Come on, just sing it."

Kurt groaned when he saw the title of the song pop into the TV screen. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette. Where was a good Broadway show tune when you needed one?

But he knew the lyrics well enough and it was in his range, so he started singing. The only one of the group who had heard him sing before was Rachel, and there was a stunned silence after he sang the first few lines, quickly changing to enthusiastic cheers as he went on. 

And Im here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
Its not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

At that first chorus, Kurt got really into it, throwing himself into performance mode, even gyrating his hips for the "Are you thinking of me while you fuck her" line. The lyrics just really seemed to fit his mood. 

He threw all his pent up anger into the song, thinking of the mess hed been during high school, dealing with the constant bullying. He had hid back then, doing the only thing he could at the time to cope. But now he was mad. Angry at all the things hed missed out on, angry with himself for not being himself for so long. 

The song ended, and everyone was in their feet, clapping and cheering. Rachel bounced over, a huge smile on her face. "Holy shit, Kurt! That was amazing!" She gave him a hug, and in his ear she whispered, "Blaine couldnt take his eyes off you the whole time. You totally blew his mind." She giggled and turned back to the group. 

Oh shit. Blaine. Kurt had totally forgotten he was even there, so wrapped up in singing after all this time. 

And then Blaine was right there, standing in front of Kurt, his eyes searching Kurt's. "Wow, Kurt... I had no idea! And your voice..." Blaine patted Kurts back, his hand lingering on his shoulder. 

Kurt blushed, looking down. "Um, yeah... I havent sung much since high school."

"Why the fuck not? Seriously, Kurt, countertenor voices like yours are really rare." 

Looking up at Blaines face, Kurt could see he really meant it. He nodded, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the stirred-up emotions. 

"Um, I'm going to head home now. Im feeling a little tired." Kurt gave Blaine a small strained smile. 

Blaine nodded, and stepped back, and Kurt said goodbye to everyone. 

Kurt walked home, thinking about the past and the song. In high school, he had tried so hard, day-by-day, to be himself and dress the way he wanted. But the bullying was so constant, it wore him down. 

By the time Karofsky kissed him and later when the death threats came, he just wanted the bullying to end. He started dressing to be invisible, and it seemed to help. The bullies seemed satisfied seeing him dressing plainly, and cringing when they came near. He began gaining weight then partially due to stress eating, but also, sub-consciously, to be less attractive to Karofsky in some way. 

The clothes and weight gain really ate at his sense of self, his confidence. Besides the clothes, what else had he missed out on over the years? Kurt sighed. He knew his NYADA audition was only OK. He sang "Music of the Night" from Phantom, and it suited his range well, but Carmen Tribideau hadnt been wowed by his performance. His confidence wasnt enough to sell it. 

After that, he didnt even consider looking for a different music program for college. He moved to New York with Rachel, mostly for a way to get away from bad memories. He worked as a server in a diner. Looking for better work, he saw an ad for an internship with Vogue, but quickly dismissed the idea. They would take one look at him and laugh. He didnt fit into that world. 

It was pure luck that he got in with Lucy. He probably would have moved back to Ohio otherwise. 

Well, enough might-have-beens. Time to focus on where he was now and the future. He liked his job, and had no plans to change anything there for now. He was already losing weight and eating better, so he just needed to keep that up. Taking his old clothes to goodwill had been a big relief. Letting go of that part of the past. Hed go through his apartment and get rid of more stuff, make sure it was decorated for who he was becoming now. 

He liked his friends, but wanted to expand his horizons, try new things. Hed lived so quietly for so long. Time to face his fears and just do things. 

And men. Relationships. Hed only had a two-year relationship with Chandler. They got along well, had fun in New York together, but it never felt that romantic. Never that exciting. Chandler was great at sending flirty text messages but his kisses never affected Kurts knees. Not even in the beginning.

Blaine. Kurt sighed. Yes, he was gorgeous, smart, funny and everything else. He was just his personal trainer and now becoming more of a friend. But he was still way out of Kurts league. Kurt needed to give up this silly crush and meet real guys, date real guys. No more imaginary relationships. 

But where could he meet guys? He couldnt imagine going to gay clubs and trying to pick someone up. Totally not his scene. Maybe hed see if Rachel or Lucy knew anybody. They both worked in theatre and knew lots of gay men. Maybe someone available around his age.

***

"What are we doing here?" Kurt was wearing a baseball cap, a t-shirt and shorts, standing in Battery Park. 

Blaine just smiled at Kurt. "Were going to the Statue of Liberty!" 

Kurt groaned. "Really Blaine? I hired you to be my personal trainer, not a tour guide."

"After all these weeks, you still doubt me, grasshopper?" Blaine smirked and turned around, pointing at the Empire State Building. "How many steps does that building have?"

"1576." Kurt had googled it. Dreaded it.

Blaine turned and pointed to the Statue of Liberty. "How many steps to the crown?"

Kurt looked at the statue. "Um, 500?"

Nodding, Blaine said "Not a bad guess. 354 steps to the crown."

Kurts eyebrows rose. "So, were climbing her five times? For practice?" 

Blaine nodded, "Something like that." He walked towards the ferry entrance, buying their tickets. 

Kurt followed along. So far, he'd liked the results from following Blaine's directions, although there were days he had woken up aching and sore in the last couple months.

There was a quick fifteen-minute ferry between the park and the island. Walking up to the base of the statue, Blaine smiled. “You said before that we would be going up the statue five times… well, you are half right. Since you still have about a month of training before the Empire State Building run up, I don't want you overdoing it. So, we are going to go from here to her feet, the top of the pedestal, three times. But we'll only be going up to the crown once.”

“Why, may I ask?” Kurt asked, following Blaine's demonstration of a stretch for his legs. 

Blaine switched to stretch his other leg. “For three reasons: firstly, so we have a dramatic finish to all this bloody stair climbing today, secondly, they only issue a certain number of passes to the crown each day, and lastly, because the stairs in the statue are a tight helix and the temperature can be a lot hotter in there. It's OK once, but not my preferred workout location.” 

All warmed up, they walked into the building, stashed their extra items in the lockers, and started doing the stairs. The steps of the pedestal were wide and recently redone. They were able to do the six levels of the pedestal the three times fairly quickly.

Then they entered the steps up to the crown, and quickly Blaine signaled for Kurt to precede him up the narrow curved metal stairway. Kurt's legs were getting a little tired by now, but he was walking up at a pretty steady pace. Blaine was walking up right behind him. 

Kurt felt a real sense of accomplishment when he reached the top. The head interior wasn't a very large space, only about ten feet across and twenty feet high. Twenty-five small windows looked out mostly across the Atlantic Ocean, showing that it was a clear beautiful day. 

Looking out the windows, Kurt felt good. He turned around, looking towards Blaine. Blaine looked a bit flushed. “Are you doing OK, Blaine?” 

Blaine nodded quickly.

“Hey, come over here. I want to take a cheesy touristy selfie of the both of us by the window, OK?” Kurt beckoned Blaine to step closer. 

Holding up his camera, Blaine wasn't in the shot that well, so Kurt grabbed him around the waist, pulling him closer and snapped the picture. “Ah, thanks, Blaine.” 

Blaine just nodded, and moved away to look out of some of the smaller windows, back towards the New York skyline.

After a few minutes, they headed down.

“Congrats, Kurt. You did well.” Blaine sat down on a bench, taking out his water bottle and stretching his legs out towards the sun.

Kurt sat down beside Blaine, looking up at the statue. It looked so tall, but he'd basically climbed that high two times today. And he didn't even feel that tired, just the normal ache he had after a good workout. Suddenly, he didn't feel as intimidated about the Empire State Building run up. Instead he felt motivated to train hard for the next month, so he was able to climb all the steps at a good pace and do it in a reasonable amount of time. He could do this. 

Blaine turned to Kurt. “So, if you want, our ferry tickets are good for a visit to Ellis Island and the museum there is free. There's even an audio tour.” 

Kurt grabbed his phone, checking the time. “Do you know how long the audio tour is?” 

Looking at his brochure, Blaine replied. “Forty-five minutes.” 

Kurt nodded. “OK, I think I have time for that then.” He got up off the bench, moving into a stretch for his hamstrings, as he could feel that they were a little tight from all the stairs.

“Do you have something scheduled for later? I don't want to interfere with your schedule.” Blaine said casually as they walked towards the ferry. 

Kurt smiled. “I have a dinner date, so I need time to get home and get ready beforehand.” 

“Oh? And is this a new guy?” Blaine asked.

Shrugging, Kurt got into the line for the ferry with the tourists. “This will be our second date, so it's fairly new.” It still felt a bit odd to be talking about dates with Blaine, but since Kurt had accepted that his crush on Blaine was never going to amount to anything, he was trying to treat Blaine like a normal friend. And friends talked about their relationships. 

Lucy had arranged for the three of them to meet for coffee earlier in the week, and Kurt was counting that as a first date, since after about fifteen minutes, Lucy had made a bad excuse and left Kurt alone with Scott. They ended up talking comfortably for about an hour afterwards, and had arranged for this dinner today. Kurt had been looking forward to it since then, planning date outfits with Lucy in anticipation. 

Pretty soon, Blaine and Kurt were at Ellis Island and got the audio tour units. Blaine seemed to be in a rare quiet mood, so Kurt was happy to be listening to the tour instead of trying to make small talk with him. 

Why had he even suggested checking out Ellis Island if he wasn't in the mood for it? 

Seeing Blaine like this reminded Kurt that he really didn't know Blaine that well, even though they saw each other three times a week. Kurt resolved to get Blaine talking more about himself at the next training sessions.

***

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-You Oughta Know: Alanis Morrissettes 1997 hit. The video is here.

-Statue of Liberty & Ellis Island: A beautiful 2 min video of them is here.