F*ck, Marry, Kill
delightful_fear
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F*ck, Marry, Kill: Chapter 12


E - Words: 2,018 - Last Updated: Sep 12, 2015
Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Sep 01, 2015 - Updated: Sep 01, 2015
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"That sounds fantastic, but I have some commitments here. I will have to review things and see if its workable. Can I call you back by the end of the week?" 


Kurt could hear Blaine voices in the living room as he closed the front door and took off his shoes. What really caught his attention was the excited tone. It sounded like good news. 


"Great! Great! Thanks so much for considering me for this."


Kurt came into the living room area, and saw Blaine looking out the window, phone to his ear. 


Blaine caught sight of Kurt, and turned towards him, a big smile breaking out on his face. "OK, bye Steve"


Kurt was suddenly in Blaines arms and being lifted off the floor. "Woah!" Kurt laughed as Blaine set him down, and pulling back, smiling into Kurts face and gave him a quick kiss. 


"Just got a call from Steve Vitoro..."


Kurt scrunched up his face, trying to place the name. "That name is vaguely familiar."


"He was a Warbler, but he graduated the year before you were at Dalton. Anyways, hes producing an album for a young singer-songwriter and wants me for a couple songs." Blaine let go of Kurt, and danced around, his phone still clutched in his hand. 


Kurts eyes widened at the news. "A couple songs, in what capacity?"


"Co-song-writing, producing, musician… whatever's needed. Basically, these are the last two songs for her album and there is pressure to fix them, get them right. The deadline is coming up soon. " Blaine smiled again. 


Kurt tried to match Blaines enthusiasm, but a coil of fear was unwinding inside him. "What about Es project?"


Blaine nodded, still smiling. "The main recording is done, and the producers are tweaking it. Nothing for me to do for now. Later on, Ill be involved in tour prep." Scrolling through his phone, Blaine smiled again, his excitement so evident. "Im calling Elliott."


Blaine walked towards his bedroom, one he hadnt slept in for weeks. "Hey Elliott. Blaine. Do you have a minute?" His voice faded as he entered the room. 


Kurt could hear him shuffling papers around, knowing Blaine was trying to find something on the messy desk in there. Shrugging his shoulders, he went into his bedroom to change into more casual clothes. 


What would this mean? For their relationship? Thoughts buzzed around Kurts head as he undressed, hung up clothes, and slipped on some yoga pants. 


Kurt grabbed his phone, quickly googling Steve Vitoro and seeing a website mentioning his current project, recording at Capitol Records in LA. 


LA. Blaine wanted to go work in LA. 


Kurt sat down on the bed, his tee in his hand. Was this it, then? The end of their New York summer? Kurt shook his head, lying back on the bed and pushing his face into the pillow. It still smelled of Blaine. How soon would he be gone, leaving Kurt clutching his pillow to smell his scent, lonely and missing him?


Sitting up, Kurt rubbed his eyes. No tears. Not yet. Be an adult and find out whats really happening before having a pity party. Kurt steeled himself, finished dressing and checked in the mirror. Luckily his eyes werent too red. 


Grabbing a bottle of water and his mail, Kurt curled up on the sofa, trying to look casual and normal. See, just a supportive friend who wants to know your plans. Not a man whose heart is starting to tear in half. Again. 


Blaine was soon grabbing a beer and plopped down beside Kurt, resting his hand on Kurts thigh. His face was glowing. 


"So, tell me more." Kurt put his mail on the coffee table, trying to keep his face and voice normal, not betraying his inner fears. 


"Elliott was totally down with it, and hes actually worked with Steve on his second album. He doesnt see a problem with the scheduling." Blaine smiled again. 


Kurt cursed himself for encouraging Blaine and Elliotts friendship outside of work. Ever since the spa day, Blaine had been going over to Elliotts for video game nights occasionally and Elliott had joined them for dinners out or live music. 


Kurt nodded. "So, you will be in LA? Any idea how long it would take?"


Blaine nodded back. "Yeah, its right in Hollywood. Not really sure of how long, as the songs are half done and might only need a little polish or may need a total re-working. A couple weeks to a couple months." Blaine shrugged, grabbing his guitar from the nearby stand, and strumming on it softly. 


He was buzzing with energy, his fingers dancing over the frets as he moved into a melody Kurt didnt know. 


Two months!! Kurt still reeled from those words, and the casual way Blaine had said it. The way he didnt seem to even be considering what it would mean to Kurt. To them. 


Kurt considered the possibilities. Blaine would go for the job, it would be short and sweet, and hed be back before it would affect things here. Theyd miss each other, but keep in touch and manage until Blaine was back in New York. 


His mind flipped to the worst case scenario. They both get busy at work, dont keep in contact as well as they should, the job ends up taking longer than it should. And then Blaine, alone on the other side of the country, gets lonely or feels a special connection with someone else...


Kurt scowled, turning his face away, trying not to let tears start. It was just too similar to when hed moved to New York. They had the best intentions for the long distance relationship, but Blaine cheated. After a month. They were so in love back then, and Kurt never thought in a million years that it would happen. But it did. Blaine felt guilty, and he apologized and apologized. But it had still happened. 


"Hey," Kurt felt Blaines hand on his arm, and looked up to see Blaine had set his guitar down and was looking at Kurt with concerned eyes. 


Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but his emotions welled up, tears streaming down his face. 


Blaine hauled Kurt close, rubbing his back as Kurt sobbed against Blaines shirt, murmuring soft comforting sounds into his ear. He was bewildered though, unsure what had triggered Kurt. 


When Kurt had calmed, Blaine grabbed some tissues and dried the tears from Kurts face. His skin was tear streaked, his eyes red and swollen, and he looked about 12. Blaines heart clenched at his expression, his only desire to take the miserable expression off Kurts face. 


"Kurt, why dont you go splash your face with cold water, freshen up. Ill make us some Moroccan tea and we will talk this out." Blaine squeezed Kurts hands, still watching his face attentively. "Talk as long as we need to."


Kurt nodded sadly, barely meeting Blaines eyes. He shuffled off the sofa and closed the bathroom door behind him. 


Blaine shook his head, and got up to make the tea. He boiled the water, and put the green tea, dried spearmint leaves, rose water and honey into the teapot. The fragrant tea was his go-to remedy for colds and any kind of emotional upset. 


He poured out two mugs of tea, and curled back up on the sofa. Kurt came out of the bathroom, his face pale but looking more normal. His eyes were still red and his gaze downcast. 


Blaine leaned back against the arm of the sofa, and opened his arms. Kurt gave a tiny smile and settled onto the sofa, leaning back against Blaine. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, giving him a tight hug. Kurt stiffened at first, but after a couple minutes, relaxed back against him, sipping his tea.


"Ok, pass me my cup of tea and talk to me, Kurt. Tell me everything."


Kurt took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I can tell you are excited about this opportunity, Blaine, and Im happy for you. But Im scared."


Blaine squeezed his arm around Kurts waist. "What scares you?"


"Wondering what will happen with us." Kurt said softly, his voice flat. 


Dipping his head down to Kurts shoulder, he nuzzled against Kurts neck. "We arent 18 anymore, Kurt. Cant we figure this out?"


Kurt grabbed Blaines hand, playing with his fingers, and sighed. “I don't know, Blaine. When I moved to New York, we made skype dates, texted a lot, tried to stay in contact, and it didn't work. What can we do differently this time?” 


“Well, I think being older will help. Also, this isn't going to be for so long. A month or two, not a year. Plus, we have more money and control over our lives, we can take turns visiting each other. Can you do your work from LA at all? Or take some vacation time to be out there too?” 


Kurt shrugged. “Maybe. I can check.” He didn't sound too on board with the ideas. 


Blaine thought for a minute, and then he grabbed Kurt's chin, turning his face until they had eye contact. “I normally wouldn't bring up past relationships, but would it ease your worries if I said I had a long distance relationship a few years ago? And we were faithful the whole time.”


Kurt's eyes widened, and he tried to digest the information. There was an initial flare of jealousy at the thought of anyone else being with Blaine, even though he knew it was ridiculous. They had both had relationships over the years. Then there was the quick stab of hurt, feeling of being inadequate. Why did he cheat on Kurt, but not in this other relationship? Did he love the other guy more? It really didn't help with the feelings Kurt was dealing with. Every relationship and situation was too different. 


Kurt moved out of Blaine's arms, and stood up, looking down at Blaine. “I'm sorry, Blaine. You really need to take this job. I can tell it is an amazing opportunity. Obviously, it's bringing up some old stuff for me, and I need to work on it, figure out things in my head.” Kurt tried for a supportive smile, but it came out kind of wobbly.


Blaine nodded slowly, his eyes trying to read Kurt's expression. “OK. But I'm here if you want to talk about this more. Talk it out.” 


***


Kurt decided to take a long, hot bath. Partially to relax and think about things, and partially to get away from Blaine, who was giving him concerned looks every few minutes as they watched TV. 


Sinking down into the fragrant bubbles, Kurt sighed, feeling the tension easing from his shoulders and back. He had his iPod set up to play some Ella Fitzgerald classics. 


Kurt's thoughts whirled around. Was he being totally irrational about this? Would he feel like this for any relationship, if his partner had to go away for work? So many couples were separated for business trips, and they managed it. Was it just because it was Blaine, and he had cheated before? Was once a cheater, always a cheater true? Blaine was 10 years older now. Would he recognize temptation easier now and back away? 


Well, if Kurt wanted to be in a relationship with Blaine, he would need to face up to this. The nature of their work was sometimes they had to travel. He couldn't chain Blaine to his side and watch him 24/7. If they were going to stay together, Kurt would have to trust Blaine. 


What other options were there? Kurt knew of some gay couples who had open relationships, but Kurt couldn't imagine it working for him. Of course, there was always the option of an amicable break-up. And then when Blaine came back to New York, seeing if they wanted to get back together again. No promises made, no expectations. 


Kurt sat up, his heart pounding. If Blaine wanted to come back to New York. Maybe this was all a sign that he wanted to move along. Maybe things had run their course between Kurt and Blaine. Maybe there was more work, more opportunities in LA, and Blaine wanted to be there. Kurt had always stopped Blaine from talking about the future between them. But what if Blaine wasn't interested in a future together anyways?


He left the bathtub more confused than ever. 


***


Disclaimer: I own nothing.


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