F*ck, Marry, Kill
delightful_fear
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F*ck, Marry, Kill: Chapter 1


E - Words: 1,943 - Last Updated: Sep 12, 2015
Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Sep 01, 2015 - Updated: Sep 01, 2015
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Author's Notes:

This AU splits off from canon at the end of Season 4 in relation to Blaine and Kurt's storyline. After Kurt and Blaine's Valentine's Day hook-up, Kurt ended up getting more serious about Adam. Blaine was thinking that they were getting back together, and was planning of proposing during spring break, but neither happened due to Kurt going back to New York early to be with Adam.

 

*This is my first fanfic ever.  The story is 16 chapters long & completed.  Ill be posting regularly.  


 

Kurt grabbed his cloth napkin, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes, trying to catch his breath. “There is no way to choose! It is impossible!”

Blaine drank the remaining wine in his glass, chuckled at Kurt as he topped up Kurt's, and filled his own, again. They were well into the second bottle now, without Kurt really even noticing. Blaine was far too good at keeping them topped up.

A week ago, Kurt would have never thought hed be sharing dinner and far too much wine with Blaine Fucking Anderson. His first love, high school sweetheart Blaine. Theyd hardly seen each other in the past ten years, but here they were, laughing with each other just like they did back at McKinley. It was crazy.

Kurt kept up his side of the conversation, but his eyes were busy looking for the changes the last ten years had done to Blaine. He was still fit and muscular, his tight tee showing off his chest and biceps in a very distracting way. His fashion sense had relaxed a lot. Gone were the collared shirts and bow ties, instead Blaine was wearing dark skinny jeans with a casual shirt. Also relaxed was his hair, the gel gone and his curls loose around his head in a way that made Kurt clench his hands into fists, imagining what it would be like to touch them, sink his fingers into them. And somehow the curls made his expressive eyes look even larger.

What were the chances that they'd both end up working on the same huge project and see each other in the introductory session today? Kurt had almost fallen off his seat in the conference room when he heard Blaine introduce himself from a few rows back. After the meeting, they met in the hallway outside and decided to go back to Kurt's to catch up over a take out dinner.

“So, are you forfeiting? Admitting to being stumped??” Blaine's eyes were intent on Kurt's, challenging and teasing at the same time, drawing Kurt out of his distracted state.

The look sent Kurt into peals of laughter again, tears again escaping his eyes. When was the last time he'd laughed so hard? He couldn't remember. “Um… um… Gandalf, Dumbledore, and the Wizard of Oz, right? OK, let me think.”

Blaine gave him a goofy look, trying to make Kurt laugh again, but Kurt rolled his eyes and concentrated. “OK, I got it. I'd kill Dumbledore, because he is going to get killed anyways pretty soon. I'd fuck the Wizard, because he'd probably be fun to be with and might give me gifts like sparkly shoes, and I'd marry Gandalf.” He nodded twice, confident in his choices.

Blaine looked shocked. “You'd kill Dumbledore and marry Gandalf????! After all those times we watched Harry Potter movies growing up? Where is your loyalty, man?”

Kurt laughed again at Blaine's expression. “It's not like I was watching Harry Potter films because I thought Dumbledore was sexy! Oooooh, look at how he's rocking that long robe and pointy hat. Mmmmm! Gimme some of that.”

“OK, but why Gandalf then?”

“He seems to be long lived, and maybe he could pass some of that onto me. A good thing in a life partner. Plus, he seems to be more powerful than the others. Power is sexy…” Kurt smiled, and waggled his eyebrows.

Blaine grabbed the dirty dishes from the table. “Christopher Lee was in his 80s when he made those films. I know you go for older men, but please!”

“But Christopher Lee was still pretty badass, you have to admit. He was still making weird heavy metal Christmas albums right up to the end. Besides, wasn't Gandalf played by Ian McKellan?” Kurt moved to the sofa, taking his glass of wine with him. “And not everyone I've dated has been older than me. You weren't.”

Blaine couldnt stop looking at Kurt, and it was verging on staring. This is not a date. Not a date. Blaine chanted to himself, trying to keep the thought in the front of his mind to keep his comments from getting too flirtatious, his gaze too admiring.

He had to keep reminding himself of that all night, because Kurt was HOT. He had been great during high school, but Kurt at 28 was a-ma-zing. Still as fantastic as ever was his hair, in its tall classic quiff, his ever-changing blue-grey eyes, and his porcelain skin. He dressed even more confidently, his skinny jeans making his legs seem endless and his ass a thing of art. His blue dress shirt and fitted grey vest hugged his torso and showed off shoulders and arms that muscles filled out nicely. ( Kurt Hummel with muscles!) Blaine imagined undoing all those buttons and peeling back Kurts layers to explore this new body with all these fascinating changes. Not a date…. Not a date…

Blaine grabbed his glass and the wine bottle, putting them on the coffee table before he settled down beside Kurt. “OK, OK. Your turn to give me choices.”

Kurt thought hard, trying not to giggle as silly ideas popped into his head. “OK, got one. Bella, Edward and Jacob.”

“Oh, you know Bella is dead right off.” Blaine laughed, grabbing his wineglass, and swirling the ruby red liquid as he gazed into it. “Jacob and Edward… hmmmm… now I feel just like Bella did, having to choose between them.”

Kurt smiled happily as he watched Blaine struggle over his choice. Dinner had been take-out from his favorite local Thai place. It was simple, but the fresh ingredients were bursting with flavor that practically had Blaine moaning with the first bite. They had talked about what they'd been up to for the past few years, and caught up on what different friends were doing now. It was surprising how easy their conversation flowed, even after all this time.

How they had moved from a normal conversation to this intense game of Fuck, Marry, Kill, Kurt wasn't too sure. But he was willing to bet the wine had something to do with that. It felt good to drink a little too much, enjoying the company and the knowledge that he didn't have to get up too early tomorrow.

“Sheesh…. It's really a choice between necrophilia and bestiality, when you get right down to it.” Blaine grumbled, his brow furrowed.

Unfortunately, Kurt had just taken a big sip of wine, and at Blaine's comment, Kurt burst out laughing and most of that wine ended up on Blaine's shirt. Between the comment, and the look of disgust on Blaine's face as he looked at the wine drops splattered all over the material, Kurt lost it. Shaking, he set the half-full wine glass on the table before he did more damage, and fell back against the sofa cushions, closing his eyes and letting the laughter settle down, gasping still for breath.

His mouth still twitching, Kurt looked over at Blaine, and tried his hardest not to laugh again. “I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to do a spit-take all over you. Give me your shirt. I'll go try to get the stains out before they set.” He stood up, holding out his hand.

Blaine pulled off his shirt, and handed it to Kurt.

“Ah, thanks.” Kurt said quickly, and turned around before Blaine caught him staring at his chest. The chest he'd been imaging all night… and the reality was even better. Even better than he remembered. He could feel his heart pounding as he walked to the bathroom, and took a few deep breaths.

He could hear the water running and the clink of dishes, and he pictured Blaine doing the dishes. Shirtless. In his kitchen. And he started working hard on the stains, looking for something else to focus on beside that very distracting image.

Kurt grabbed a tee from his room and took it to the kitchen. “Ah, here's a shirt for you. Yours is drying in the bathroom.” He tossed the tee over to Blaine, who caught it and slipped it on quickly. Shame.

Blaine walked over, nodding his head. “It's getting late. I should probably get back to the hotel.”

“You don't have to go, you could crash here. The other bedroom is all made up, and I can lend you whatever you need.” Kurt hoped he didn't sound like he was babbling.

“OK, sounds good.” Blaine grabbed one of the high stools by the kitchen counter and sat down. “Kurt, I was thinking about something you mentioned earlier while I did the dishes.”

Kurt sat on the other stool, giving Blaine his attention.

“I had a crazy idea, so feel free to tell me if you think it won't work. Be totally honest, OK?” Blaine ran his hands through his curls, pushing them back off his face. He looked a bit nervous suddenly.

“It's OK, Blaine. Just tell me your idea. I'm really curious now.” Kurt tried to put him at ease, smiling and nodding his head encouragingly.

Blaine took a deep breath. “I could maybe help you with your apartment situation.”

Kurt's eyebrows rose up in surprise, as he tried to recall what he'd mentioned about it. Oh yeah, when they had entered the apartment earlier, Kurt had apologized over the huge number of boxes stacked near the entranceway. He'd explained how he'd broken up with someone four months ago, and felt so guilty about kicking the guy out that Kurt agreed to keep the boxes until he found a new place. But the boxes had been scaring potential new roommates away.

“OK, what's your idea, Blaine?”

“Remember, you can say no if you think it's too weird. But I was thinking that since I'm going to be in New York for at least a few months for this project, maybe I could stay here and help you out with the rent. I don't have a lot of stuff with me, so the boxes aren't really a big deal. Then, by the time I'm gone, hopefully the boxes will be too and you can find a more permanent roommate.”

Blaine gave Kurt a steady look, unsure if he was overstepping any boundaries. They hadn't seen each other in years, and there was all their high school history. He didn't want Kurt to agree out of a sense of obligation to an old friend.

Kurt smiled so widely, Blaine could actually see some of his teeth. Wow, that was a really big smile for Kurt. “Really Blaine? You would be willing to squish into this tiny apartment with me and all these boxes, and pay half the rent?!? “

Blaine could tell Kurt was really excited by the idea, and returned his smile. “It will be great. I'd way rather live in an apartment than a hotel, and it's hard to find something decent priced for such a short period. It's just bros helping bros.”

“Oh my god, this is going to be so good! I had some potential roommates come by last week, and all the good ones weren't interested once they saw the boxes. There was only this creepy old smelly man who seemed interested, and I had to lie to him to get him to leave. You are way better than him.”

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. “Glad to hear that, Kurt.”

Kurt jumped up, and dug in a drawer in the kitchen. “Oh good, I have Taylor's old keys. You can use them.”

Grabbing the keys, Blaine shoved them into his pocket and Kurt showed him around, got him clean towels.

“Great, Kurt. Goodnight. And thanks.”

Soon they were tucked into their own beds. And both unable to sleep. How the hell had they ended up roommates together in this tiny apartment? What a crazy day.

Roommates. Friends. Ex-boyfriends. Living together in a tiny apartment for a few months. What could go wrong?

***
Disclaimer: I own nothing.


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